Reply With QuoteI sometimes wonder how I missed the boat on companies like this.
Thousands of dollars for shitty work, but don't worry about that, I'll charge you more to fix my fuckups for you.
OK Here's one:
We have a software system for our Sheriff's dispatch, this system has 3 Windows 2003 Servers, 3 windows Xp pro workstations, all in their own isolated Active Directory domain. I suggested they get absorbed as a child in our Main forest - however the vendor insisted on doing it this way. Own forest, own domain blah blah blah...
Ok - fine whatever, I already hate dealing with your fucking company.
So -- I get an email from the dispatch supervisor - apparently, the two client computers clocks sometimes drift - I know big shocker -- clocks drift, who'd a thunked it??? but anyways I digress the problem then being if they release the officer from a call on one computer they can't dispatch him to another call immediately because the ending event is after the beginning event. Or vice-versa if it's done from the other direction... Of course this could be solved by programming the system correctly - have the Database read the SERVER time for the timestamp -- tell the client's clock to go fuck itself. but hey, that would involve programing shit the right way - something I am convinced this company is incapable of doing.
Now we get to the kicker: in this email is a forward from their support tech: That says Have your IT guy sync the clock on the workstations to the server.
--
By default Windows server 2003 runs a time server, when you turn it into an AD controller it becomes an Authoritative Time server for your domain -- why? Because Kerberos requires it. This is default behavior -- guess what I found? Those stupid fucking nuckleheads had turned OFF THE WINDOWS TIME SERVICE!
Jeeeee -- think that there's our problem?
So have your IT guys fix shit that's already fixed on their own domain, cause we can't run it that way -- oh, and turn on Essential services that we turned off because we're stupid fucking morons who you gave $400,000 to.
God I hate those pricks.
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
I sometimes wonder how I missed the boat on companies like this.
Thousands of dollars for shitty work, but don't worry about that, I'll charge you more to fix my fuckups for you.
It really sounds like that. I'm guessing 2 of the 3 servers are just so they can have 2 DC which is best practice when supporting a 3 workstationsOriginally Posted by Eremius
No edits, was going to type a whole 3 workstations then decided not to but missed deleting the a.
You might think that - however, only 1 of the servers is a DC.I'm guessing 2 of the 3 servers are just so they can have 2 DC which is best practice when supporting a 3 workstations
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
Back in April one of our websites underwent a major overhaul to deal with some customer-based account changes.
A bunch of new tools were released internally to replace a single utility that allowed us to access it previously.
We lost the ability to access it consistently shortly thereafter.
Started getting sporadic proxy errors. Documented with screenshots, times, etc. Escalated to development.
Dev: "Oh, it's not us, it's the proxy server."
Me: "You DO know this is a business-critical site, right? Contact the proxy admin and IDFC if you have to give him a wine box or something, we need this site to function."
Dev: "It works fine for me."
I escalate it to NetOps, who lets the issue sit for 2 weeks before closing the ticket.
Fast-forward to the past couple weeks. Customers are now starting to experience ongoing issues when accessing the site as well.
We have been sending daily (sometimes hourly) emails to development (cc: manager) about the issue. The sales department is aware of it as well.
The manager emails us today:
Mgr: "I want you to get on the phone with the web provider and find out why we're having problems."
Me: "We have asked for the information from development and have been denied."
Mgr: "I want you to get on the phone with the proxy admin and find out why we're having problems."
Me: "I escalated it to NetOps and got no response after 2 weeks of an open ticket."
Mgr: "I want you to (insert Charlie Brown wah wah wah)"
After over 90 minutes of back-and-forth "we are getting nowhere with these escalations from our positions, we need managerial intervention" he takes an email I wrote with some specific info and a bunch of screenshots, and forwards it to 3 NetOps people with a simple note of "FYI".
*facepalm*
So last night, our main customer-facing website goes down.
404 all over the place.
I email development this morning at 8:05am: "Hi, website's down again, have had customer calls about it all morning"
No response til 10:44am... after which I had gotten my 4th call about it, and two coworkers have had 3 each, plus a number of emails
From the Development Manager, who was responding to the Sales Manager with a CC to me as the "lead tech on duty"
"The website was scheduled to be transferred, not shut down."
Uh, well, dingbat, they SHUT IT DOWN.
NOT TO MENTION they never told us it was going to be transferred and that there could have been "a period" of downtime.
*headdesk*
I love intermittent phone problems...
So I'm on the phone with phone tech:
It goes like this:
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
ring ring -
Hello, Hi, Ok, Call you back.
I think I need to see a fucking shrink now...
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
"Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment...."
"Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment...."
"Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment...."
"Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment...."
"Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment...."
Overheard from a coworker's call:
"No, sir, you cannot update your software by way of your iPhone, you need to be at the computer that you use the software on to do the download..."
I am so tired of supporting e-mail. Mainly because I'm tired of having to explain why internet is required to check your e-mail. I remember one time a customer asked if they made e-mail that didn't require internet, and was flabbergasted when I said it was called the Post Office.
My favorite is always the - I'm supposed to get this email and I haven't gotten it yet.
I am so tired of supporting e-mail. Mainly because I'm tired of having to explain why internet is required to check your e-mail. I remember one time a customer asked if they made e-mail that didn't require internet, and was flabbergasted when I said it was called the Post Office.
Ok... and when was it sent?
2 minutes ago...
Yeah, call me back in an HOUR if you still haven't seen it, then, if I have nothing better to do, And If I'm in a good mood MAYBE I'll go look in the logs for you.
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
So never?
Well, I'll probably get to it sometime before the eventual Heat Death of the universe...So never?
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
This was today in a 3 way call where the merchant had me on one line and his developer on another phone. Not a separate line, not a conference call. He's using two phones:
Merchant: I need all my account details for (System A) so that my developer can complete testing.
Me: (System A) is just so you can see how we are billing you. It's not used for testing. Your developer should be using (System B) for the testing.
Merchant: Hang on.
Merchant to the developer on the other phone: They are saying you don't need to do testing.
Me: .... that's not what I said.
Developer indistinctly shouting at merchant.
Merchant: The developer says he's always needed to do testing.
Me: That's right. You gave him the wrong details. Give him details of (System B), that is what he is asking you for.
Merchant: I gave him the details of (System A).
Me: Ok, now give him (System B) details.
Merchant: But he said he needs the details of (System A) to do the tests.
Me: No, he doesn't, he...
Merchant cuts me off setance: Wait a sec
To developer: They are saying you don't need to do the tests.
Developer shouting more distinctly. It ain't pretty.
Merchant: This is getting rather complicated.
Me: Give ALL your passwords to your developer and have him call me.
What the fuck is wrong with some people that you can plainly tell them something and they still get it wrong 2 seconds later!? It's not like I could have made it any easier for him to understand, there was no baser level to go...
Aw, how cute! You work in tech support and still think people listen!What the fuck is wrong with some people that you can plainly tell them something and they still get it wrong 2 seconds later!?
Old habit's die hard. I even have a laminated note on my desk that reads "FYI: The person you are speaking with is an idiot."Aw, how cute! You work in tech support and still think people listen!
OH OH OH!
I need to make me one of those, ESPECIALLY when the idiotic sales reps come over to talk to me!
Customers are complete and total idiots, and as more internet connected devices come out they will expect more and more from their ISP tech support(because we all know getting email on your iPhone is the job of the ISP support to setup and not AT&T and Apple to walk you through and know the server settings. and they really should know the server settings for the major ISPs like Comcast, AT&T and Verizon).
Today we sail
On the Solar Rail
For there's much we just don't know
So farewell with a kiss
Then it's fast for the mist
Till we're sleeping in the cold below
Just received in an Email:
"Subject: Deleting sound from video
Hi, Melcar,
No rush on this - it came up as something we may need to do in the future during our last jury trial. Is there a way to delete sound from a video?"
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I'm trying to come up with a Tactful way of saying:
"PRESS THE FUCKING MUTE BUTTON"
Any suggestions?
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
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