Grindel's Lil' Midlife Crisis Online

Well I sort of figured this might happen, but I didn't think it'd happen quite so soon.

Two years ago, I was working at a pretty good spot - I was sliding toward upper middle class and boy, it was nice to have the money and security. But my boss was completely unqualified for his position. I was hired and then the second day I was there, the guy who hired me left the company and this former used car salesman took his place. We did not get along well (nobody got along with him). At the same time, I also had a side contracting gig I still did from back when I was out doing my own thing that brought in some cash too. Things were nice. Nice vacations, nice money in my pocket, just nice.

Well, the side gig people - my former bosses from two divisions within the old company basically, came to me with what they pitched as a sweetheart deal - I could work as a contractor directly with them, from home. I'd have a new gig with them at a very, very high hourly rate plus I'd retain my side gig too, which was good for another $20k. All I'd have to do was leave the security of the election place and the crummy boss and the outside agency that was already forcing people out, and go work with them.

It was very, very nice while it lasted. I was a liaison with an offshore company in India, which meant most of my work hours were between 8-11pm and 6-9am. The side gig work disappeared, but really I didn't notice. The money was still good! Perhaps I didn't notice as much because I was spending a ton of time playing WoW as well, since there were several days where I didn't have anything to do.

But of course it didn't last. The company is renown for its instability, and about a year ago last November I was told the work was gone. Remember when the economy first started heading into the toilet? Yah, that was the marketplace I was dropped into - and there is generally NOTHING going on in IT between October and January since budgets are generally locked in by then.

It was a rough stretch of months until I started at the company that I'm at now. Very rough - in fact I still have credit card debt to fully dig out of that I had to accumulate to make ends meet.

Things have been going pretty well at this job. I earn less than I did before, but I work with a great staff and fun people in an awesome office. This is a Good Job, and the company is poised for a 3x to 5x growth spurt here soon.

Well, a couple weeks back, my old boss calls me. Guess what, that part time contracting gig is available again and at slightly more money than before. Part time, right? Right? Yes it's a part-time testing gig I am assured. So of course I jumped at the chance - if I play my cards right I can have all my debt besides my student loans paid off and I can get enough together maybe for the downpayment on the house in the neighborhood I want to move into. Woot! I don't mind working two jobs; it's not like I'm mining coal or something.

Well, this morning my old boss called. "Hey, what would you think about coming back here as a full-time contractor?"

Ugh. I KNEW this question would come up, but hell I figured he'd be patient enough to let me cash at least one or two of the contracting paychecks before he brought it up!

I just can't do it this time. I can't. One of my better friends, basically my work wife from that place, was JUST laid off a few weeks back. It's TOO unstable, and where I am now it's just too stable. It's more money than I'm making now, but still. It would mean I could go from doing 65 to 70 hours a week down to 45, but STILL. The first time I went into this I ended up burned. How could I put myself and my family in almost the same situation again? And the thing is, I truly like Mike. He's a good mentor and when he's ready to finally retire I'd love to be considered to replace him. But he's just asking too much - I couldn't begin to ask my wife to go through the rollercoaster we went through last November to February. It'd be irresponsible, and it'd be taking my eyes off the prize.

I don't know. Maybe sometimes the door revealed to you isn't opportunity, maybe sometimes it leads to a pit trap. I found the words to politely decline, but he'll ask again in six months or so. Bah, I'd just prefer to work out the length of this contract we already have and maybe move on to other things. I sure hope I don't look back on the choice I just made with the same regret I have when I look back at leaving the last place for them.