Grindel's Lil' Midlife Crisis Online

If I had any idea that my attending classes surrounded by 19-year-old co-eds would turn my wife into a borderline nymphomaniac, I would have figured out a way to have done this years ago.

And it's not that I'm even remotely interested in these girls - to be perfectly honest they may as well be a separate species to me as far as I'm concerned. But wow, not that I'm complaining but it's amazing what a woman will change to keep her man from doing the whole midlife trade younger thing. ...

So... why is it that lately every drive-through you come to has a ton of landscaping done between the speaker and the window where you pay your money. Yah the flowers are pretty and all but...

dude, BEES.

You put a bunch of flowers somewhere and guess what's going to show up? You do realize that some people (not me, thankfully) are frigging allergic to bee stings and will die for wont of a bacon cheeseburger?

I'm sure it was some landscaper who submitted ...

Not because they've done something horrendous - I don't even bank there.

But I went in there today for a very simple request - I need two rolls of pennies for my vacation bible school class tonight. There is no front desk, just some personal banker schmuck fresh out of college. I tell him what I need and he tells me to go to the equivalent of a drive-through shoot complete with a tube, but inside the doggone lobby.

I imagine the actual tellers live in caves under ...

Dear friends:

It is a good thing to experiment about with various forms of birth control if doing so is not against your religion and if you or your spouse are not up for having more rug rats. However, there are perils involved, one of which I would like to bring to your attention.

The sponge is a fancy device that's supposed to gather up your wrigglers and murder them with spermicide. Seems like a decent plan of action. But please, please heed the following warning: ...

So my son is down here and he decided he wants to play "Modern Warfare 2". He picked up his two nerf dart guns and started running around going "beeeeowwwnn! beeeyown!" and shaking 'em like crazy. I was about to call him a G18 newb and then it dawned on me where he picked that up from O_o