Tales from Techsupport

[Mileron]

Are these self-service tickets raised by the user or something that has been entered (I dare say - investigated?) by your first line team?

Either way - Boing! said zebedee

Email subjects received that still somehow got to me.

Today's:

Customer: I'm having (this problem)
Me: Have you gotten a new computer recently?
Customer: Yes, it's been happening ever since
Me: When was that?
Customer: Six months ago

...

At this point, it's a feature, not a problem

[Mileron]

I've been having problems accessing a certain resource through our call tracking system. I called my internal help desk. I verified with the receiving rep that the ticket states "trouble accessing secondary resource through call tracking".

Email followup from HD: User is having problems accessing call tracking system

I call them back and have them update the ticket with the correct information.

Email: User is having problems accessing (secondary resource)

I call them back again and have them update the ticket with the correct information.

Email: User is having problems accessing secondary resource through call tracking

Email from assigned tech: We see you have logged into call tracking today. This ticket will be closed.

...

I call the help desk back.

Me: I need my ticket re-opened because the issue wasn't addressed
HD2: The last update shows that you were able to successfully access your call tracking
Me: Yes, because I wasn't having a problem with that. I was having problems with (secondary resource)
HD2: I see that in the ticket thread
Me: So why was my ticket closed?
HD2: Because you successfully accessed call tracking
Me: The problem wasn't about call tracking! It was about the secondary resource!
HD2: Why didn't you open the ticket and mention that?
Me: I did. If you read the original ticket, that's exactly what it states. The emails I received as followup were wrong.
HD2: I will contact the person who closed your ticket and have him follow up.
Me: Please do

Ticket Owner: You were able to access the call tracking system. This does not need to be reopened.

OpoQQ.jpg

[Mileron]

Customer: My computer's really slow
Me: Have you restarted it lately?
Customer: Yes
Me: Your Task Manager shows it's been nearly 27 days since you did
Customer: Maybe it's just really slow updating the timer

[Mileron]

Customer: Why don't you offer a combined 32/64 bit installer for (product)?
Me: It's not currently offered
Customer: Can you find out why?

Escalation to development: Customer wants to know why we do not offer a combined 32/64 bit installer for (product)
Development: We do not offer a combined installer

...

Really?

[FilanFyretracker]

I am honestly amazed people still even need 32bit binaries. I have had x86_64 since 2005, And have run a 64bit OS since Vista(skipped XP64 since it a bug show)

[Tinthalas Tigris]

Answer : legacy customers. And those are always the ones that drove progress. The on site tech doesn't get paid for saying "you need to spend more money on new systems."

[Merrick ap'Milandra]

From the next cube over just now.

Tech: What leads you to believe that power was applied to the ethernet port?

Client: IiiDontThinkThat'sImportant.

[Merrick ap'Milandra]

I was just looking for a picture of something and I ran across my attempt to telnet a fork-bomb via PJL to a printer.

forkbomb_printer.jpg

I wanted to see if it would work, after all, the worst it could do would be to require a power cycle.

It just changed the RDYMSG on that particular model.

I was amused and disappointed at the same time.

[Mileron]

CFO: I have an issue only you guys (in IT) can handle
Us: OK
CFO: I need a tiny screwdriver to fix my glasses

[Tinthalas Tigris]

mailto://dumbass@higherpaidgroup.nut
Subject: Your glasses
https://lmgtfy.com/?q=Glasses+screwdriver&s=g

[signature]

[Mileron]

moron: guy needs to drop off a laptop to our office
we send him an email with on-site availability
In that email we also state that his door badge will still allow him access
he goes up to the office, sees the note on the door stating "mail must be dropped in this box, for all other deliveries please call $IT"
he doesn't call
he goes to the end of the hall near the IT room (and I assume knocks for a couple minutes, but gets no answer because no one's in the office)
He leaves the laptop in a box outside our locked door in the elevator vestibule.

[Mileron]

Manager: I need you to write documentation
Me: OK but I'm an admin on everything you want me to document. Can I get a non-admin test account temporarily so I can correctly document what people will be seeing, instead of obfuscating what people won't see or specifically drawing attention to what they cannot use?
Manager: no

[Mileron]

At 8:30 am, leave voicemail for coworker who's having hardware issues
At 2:15pm, get an email from his manager saying "he's been waiting all day for a call from IT"
Talk to him at 2:30pm.
Me: I left you a voicemail with my name, reason for call, and number, why didn't you call me back?
Him: You didn't identify yourself

[Mileron]

User (who still has not yet mastered the concept of "submit a ticket"): I need you to call me regarding my prior issue, 555-555-123
Me: Your phone number is missing a digit
User: No it's not, it's 555-555-123
Me: Your phone number is one number short. It should be 555-555-wxyz. Please submit a ticket.
User: Just call me

[FilanFyretracker]

that is grade A idiocy, ALL phone numbers in North America are ten digits.

[Schezar]

that is grade A idiocy, ALL phone numbers in North America are ten digits.

Better answer: I will definitely call you something.

[Mileron]

Wide gulf of responses today in the bi-weekly password reset reminders that I send.

From:
"Third time's the charm. Thank you for your consistent reminders I keep putting this off and I would have forgotten without at least three notices. Just changed it"

to:
"OK Dad... LOL"

[Mileron]

[Coworker/IT guy]: We've noticed that a manager has a photo in Exchange where the top of his head is cut off. We need you to edit it back in.
Me: You want me to do what?

[Bonlainy]

[Coworker/IT guy]: We've noticed that a manager has a photo in Exchange where the top of his head is cut off. We need you to edit it back in.
Me: You want me to do what?

That is priceless!

[Tinthalas Tigris]

User (who still has not yet mastered the concept of "submit a ticket"): I need you to call me regarding my prior issue, 555-555-123
Me: Your phone number is missing a digit
User: No it's not, it's 555-555-123
Me: Your phone number is one number short. It should be 555-555-wxyz. Please submit a ticket.
User: Just call me

The question I still have is, did you try calling it?