Tales from Techsupport

[Merrick ap'Milandra]

Is it bad I laughed too hard at this one?

Also, while I don't understand the pain from your side of things, I relate - I work with enough tech people that would take one look at that last result of troubleshooting, and think "oh, this shouldn't be named DC01", and FUCKING RENAME THE SERVER without giving a rat, monkey, or elephant ass as to what might break when they do that.

No.

That being said, It's not *that* bloody hard change the group policy for mapped drives.

Heck, in my extremely junior IT days, I was told that since the main file/print server was being replaced, I'd have to go around to 425+ workstations, manually, and delete and re-add their printers.

When I said we could just put the change into a .bat file and chain it into the logon script, I was told we weren't going to do that because it wouldn't retain their default printer.

Not willing to give up, I spent the next 20 minutes writing a vbscript that simply perused the registry, altering the print server name for each printer on a machine, and retained the default printer.

THAT got chained into the logon script for about 90 days and first thing the first morning of the server switch NOBODY NOTICED ANYTHING.

About the only thing that would suck is if some application had an .ini file with a DNS name hard coded into it, and there are ways around THAT, too.

Oh, and scan to file/e-mail if they have a ridiculously large number of printers and are using full UNC instead of mapped drives.

Then again, I go as far as crafting a neat little ASP redirect webpage whenever we decommission an on-premises Exchange server and move people to office 365 at mail.companyname.com/owa that forwards to portal.office.com, so I'm big on coddling morons who can't figure out how to change their ways.

And this is the mirror reverse of the flipside of the coin above. I've also talked to tech people who, in order to NOT break things will try to keep the same server name when replacing one they've decommissioned. This, naturally, does not always work as they intend.

Had I not already seen the OS version on the remote control portal, I would have had a heart attack right then and there.

Windows NT4 ON THE DOMAIN AND EXPOSED TO THE WAN?!?!?! (Did I mention that part? It had full 3389 RDP port forwarding directly to it on the firewall.)

[Tinthalas Tigris]

Two for today, and yes, it's only 8:20AM

1
Customer's tech sent in an email where the user is complaining about latency, but includes 3-4 screenshots of errors saying "these are the proof of my speed problems".
I reply to the email and dissect each screenshot where the user is incorrect and that the screenshots are not in fact "speed problems" but instead "stupid problems". I also do include a fix for the speed issue.
The tech latches onto the speed fix and ignores everything else.

2
Get a ticket escalated from one of my "underlings" (as I am their senior/lead) saying "please call this customer back, their program is still locking up since you helped them with the same problem the last time" - and yet, the last ticket I had with the customer was resetting their login password about two weeks ago. Nowhere in the last 9 months (or more) have I ever worked with the customer about "locking up".
I can't even follow up with the originator of the ticket, because he's not in for 2 hours, and that's after when the customer requested the callback. Not a big problem, but still, look at the prior tickets dammit.

This sounds like the bullshit in the maintenance job that i just got tired of completely.

It might sound stupid compared to network troubleshooting and help desk for login resets, but truly the only stupid was in my "admins."

Replacing a faucet that was attached to an acrylic glaze because it looked ugly/old. Then the new one (me expressing this to the resident and the manager askinh for the when to be done) not lining up with the missing acrylic surface and stating to the resident that they would need to schedule a reglaze with the manager, and informing the manager as well.

Then two years later, a complaint goes in - yes, two years later saying that i said i would go back to fix the leak. Looking at the work order that had nothing to do with a leak. Getting reamed verbally for it, and then pullling it and putting the original in front of both parties, signed with the info of contact needed between both parties for a reglaze, and then saying, "wwll, i cant remember that."

Bitxhes, just remember to look at your paperwotk that you are supposed to file, just like I am, for exactly this reason.

[Tinthalas Tigris]

Office: "Do you need me to explain again how to do this task so that you can understand what it is that needs to be done in a way that is more efficient for you?"

Work site: "I said do it my way."

[Tinthalas Tigris]

Office: "Do you need me to explain again how to do this task so that you can understand what it is that needs to be done in a way that is more efficient for you?"

Work site: "I said do it my way."

[Mileron]

The following is paraphrased from an email chain from one of my coworkers who is on the usage-side of my support department.
Instead of simply assigning the ticket to the correct Systems queue, she sent this original email, cced to every single person in both departments (and a couple people who weren't.)
I'll play that game.

Coworker:

Customer has new ticket 2222. She needs Product 123 download link. For years 2016 and 2017.
Customer is also not getting any emails about product updates.
Send her reply email. Here is her address. (address@place.com)
When will Product 234 be available?

I do some digging. Something about this is naggingly familiar.
Me: I send back this reply.

1 - I supplied information about Product 123 download two days ago via ticket 2111.
2 - The Product 123 is NOT required to be used with the 2016 and 2017 product due to part of its functionality being built into those programs.
3 - The Product 234 program has been available as of this writing for exactly 30 days. An email notification was sent. Coworker, if you have not signed up to receive these notifications*, please let me know and I can add you to the list.
4 - The customer's email address is in fact signed up to receive the email notifications however in the last four years she has never once opened up any of the email notifications we've sent her.
5 - Which brings me to this - if she doesn't get our update email notifications, that could be why she called back two days after I'd replied to her original ticket on 9/19 which had the answers to #1 and #2 above (she had not asked #3 at that point). I will contact the customer.

* - I did additional digging and found that Coworker, in this case, did not in fact have the correct email subscriptions set up to receive email notifications about the products which she supports.

Coworker: Mileron, I think the customer is looking for to download the Product 123.


Okay, *cracks knuckles* here we go.

Me: Removed unnecessary cc's from this chain as they don't need to be spammed by this.

Yes, I understand they need Product 123.
As I already had had a ticket with the customer from Tuesday 9/19, and had sent her a reply email via that ticket, seeing you forward this newer ticket over to Systems I did additional digging to find out that she wasn’t getting our update emails and had not for several years.

All the information was provided to the customer when I spoke to her yesterday. I also explained to the customer on 9/21 when I called her why she doesn’t necessarily “need” it for the 2015-2017 programs because the Product 123 form is built into each of those years of the program. And then I explained it again when I talked to her tech person later in the day on 9/21.

Then after I spoke to the customer, I ended up speaking to her tech person who indicated that yes, they had in fact had problems with allowing our email updates to be delivered, (as well as any email communications from Support) and the tech person ended up creating a special email address through gmail just so that they could receive our email notifications as she did not have confidence that their ISP would be able to resolve the issue (because they have not, after several attempts to have them do so.)

So I gave them additional information from our product email blast company's support page for them to provide information to their ISP to hopefully allow our product update emails to be delivered.

They have been provided all necessary information that Systems Support is able to provide to get them up and running with regards to their two primary product requests – Product 123 and Product 234 – and the remainder – the installation of any programs and the resolution of the email issue – is entirely in the customer’s hands to resolve now.

I got a style string of emojis from one of my systems coworkers in an IM followed by "why does she need you to re-explain that?", coupled with "you probably should have cc'ed her manager on that..."

C'est la vie.

[Mileron]

* - I did additional digging and found that Coworker, in this case, did not in fact have the correct email subscriptions set up to receive email notifications about the products which she supports.

And has supported for approximately 8 years.

Stupidity has no statute of limitations.

[Mileron]

Customer: We're getting an error message
Me: Oh, I recognize that. Here's how you fix it - 1, 2, 3, A, B, and C
Customer: We don't like that solution
Me: It's the only one
Customer: We won't use it
Me: You'll continue to get the error
Customer: Fine

[Merrick ap'Milandra]

Customer: We're getting an error message
Me: Oh, I recognize that. Here's how you fix it - 1, 2, 3, A, B, and C
Customer: We don't like that solution
Me: It's the only one
Customer: We won't use it
Me: You'll continue to get the error
Customer: Fine

I SWEAR, THAT IS BOATLOADS OF MY TIME.

It's even worse with managed services agreements, because people will do stuff like buy pre-purchased hours, refuse to use them, and then raise a HUGE fuss when they're not covered for boatloads of work they refused over time after explaining it would have an impact and something that impacts their business is FINALLY broken.

I can't count the number of times I've had to explain that the reason you're getting the

"This document enables Reader capabilities that are no longer enabled in this Reader version."

error is because the version of acrobat they're using WAS RELEASED IN 2008!

What's worse is how often these issues get escalated to level 3 support (which I am) because a level 1 and a level 2 already looked at the error, re-installed from "this installer I still have, because it's the only one that works" and said "cannot solve, escalating".

Generally speaking, i work with some pretty technically capable people, too.

Our dispatch guy asked me today how to determine how many SQL databases were on the server farm, I showed him how to use SSMS and browse between local (on the sql server) and network (to see everything else that showed up, including workstations running sql express or whatever it's called now) and he got it in one take.

There are times I swear I'm just getting tickets pushed uphill that noone wants to deal with.

Said tickets are not BENEATH me, but when my time in the ticketing portal is booked at >150% on average, it might be time to sort tickets better.

[Merrick ap'Milandra]

My favorite from this week was getting a "locked-in, must 100% happen at this time" ticket for upgrading an MS Exchange exchange 2010 server from SP1 to SP3 rollup 17.

At 2pm...

On a Monday...

Which then got re-scheduled...

...to after hours...

...on a day I had vacation for...

Nobody reads.

Yeah, because everyone wants me to snapshot their vm and spend a few hours on an exchange server with 4gb of ram and 50 users that's vastly out of date to upgrade them to the barest level of support IN THE MIDDLE OF A WORKDAY.

Oh wait, it's NOT A VM.

So much for those snapshots, hope the backups have been tested.

Oooh, it's not in support anymore either, that ended in january of 2015.

[Merrick ap'Milandra]

By the way, that's about a 4 hour ticket involving multiple reboots on the EMAIL SERVER.
While it happens, your e-mail will be DOWN.

PERIOD.

Oh, and no rollback, so if it breaks (which it actually might because it's THAT OLD) we have to bare metal restore from backup.

[Merrick ap'Milandra]

OH, and for the fourth time in a row for a single client, within the last 3 months, I just heard the following:

"Hey, Mail delivery is broken at $ClientSite."

"Did they give their web developer root hosting credentials again instead of just the ftp/shell access we set up?"

"They said there was another update to the website from their contractor."

*Me looks* "Yep, the web developer boned all of the DNS entries. Okay, you1 take MX, you2 check the @, you3 check the A, and talk to one another to make sure everything is communicating back and forth. TEST IT ALL. The SPF is documented, the rest should be thought-free. This is a 20 minute fix at most, excepting replication. I'll double-check the internal stuff in case they gave the webdev access to remote into the network."

Every time it involves support calls from people who can't access things internally because they have bad records cached, but OMG I WAS A WEB DEVELOPER WHEN DREAMWEAVER WAS MX (no 2004) AND I KNEW MORE ABOUT DNS THAN THESE PEOPLE.

Never give full admin credentials to a web developer unless they can explain dns and mailflow.

[FilanFyretracker]

Heck is there a reason a web developer would ever need full system access aka admin or root?

I mean my vision of web developer is the guy who makes all the pretty shit we click on from home, And the admin is who makes sure all that pretty shit has a system to talk to. Makes sure there are things like up to date apache, php and mysql as examples.

[FilanFyretracker]

and this
ctrl-alt-del-admit-it.jpg

[Mileron]

Me: I have a meeting on Thurs 9/28 from 12pm to 1pm Eastern and will need time off the phone
Mgr: You can't, your coworker picks her daughter up from school at 2pm Central
Me: 2pm Central is 3pm Eastern
Mgr: No it's not. 2pm Central is 12pm Eastern.
Me: I'm sorry, you're subtracting that incorrectly. Eastern is GMT-5, Central is -6. You are 1 hour behind me. Right now it's 11am Eastern, for you it's 10am Eastern.
Mgr: No it's not
Me: Yes, it is. Further, you already scheduled me for another meeting from 2:30pm to 4:30pm Eastern, which completely overlaps 3pm Eastern.
Mgr: 2:30pm Eastern is 12:30pm Central
Me: No, it's not. 2:30pm Eastern is 1:30pm Central, which runs to 3:30pm Central, which is 4:30pm Eastern, which overlaps 3pm Eastern completely.
Mgr: No, that's not right.

OpoQQ.jpg

[Merrick ap'Milandra]

Me: I have a meeting on Thurs 9/28 from 12pm to 1pm Eastern and will need time off the phone
Mgr: You can't, your coworker picks her daughter up from school at 2pm Central
Me: 2pm Central is 3pm Eastern
Mgr: No it's not. 2pm Central is 12pm Eastern.
Me: I'm sorry, you're subtracting that incorrectly. Eastern is GMT-5, Central is -6. You are 1 hour behind me. Right now it's 11am Eastern, for you it's 10am Eastern.
Mgr: No it's not
Me: Yes, it is. Further, you already scheduled me for another meeting from 2:30pm to 4:30pm Eastern, which completely overlaps 3pm Eastern.
Mgr: 2:30pm Eastern is 12:30pm Central
Me: No, it's not. 2:30pm Eastern is 1:30pm Central, which runs to 3:30pm Central, which is 4:30pm Eastern, which overlaps 3pm Eastern completely.
Mgr: No, that's not right.

OpoQQ.jpg

Sounds like half of the people I've ever worked with from the west coast.

The other half don't believe there ARE other time zones.

[Bonlainy]

Me: I have a meeting on Thurs 9/28 from 12pm to 1pm Eastern and will need time off the phone
Mgr: You can't, your coworker picks her daughter up from school at 2pm Central
Me: 2pm Central is 3pm Eastern
Mgr: No it's not. 2pm Central is 12pm Eastern.
Me: I'm sorry, you're subtracting that incorrectly. Eastern is GMT-5, Central is -6. You are 1 hour behind me. Right now it's 11am Eastern, for you it's 10am Eastern.
Mgr: No it's not
Me: Yes, it is. Further, you already scheduled me for another meeting from 2:30pm to 4:30pm Eastern, which completely overlaps 3pm Eastern.
Mgr: 2:30pm Eastern is 12:30pm Central
Me: No, it's not. 2:30pm Eastern is 1:30pm Central, which runs to 3:30pm Central, which is 4:30pm Eastern, which overlaps 3pm Eastern completely.
Mgr: No, that's not right.

How the hell is this guy a manag....oh wait, never mind. Does he have pointy hair?

[Mileron]

not-a-cable.jpg
This used to be a 6-foot displayport cable.

Now it's a monitor saver. And a piece of garbage.

Coworker was rearranging his desk, the monitor started to tumble, he grabbed the white cable, I heard what sounded like sprung spring bouncing and the thud of him hitting the wall.

I managed to get the connector out of the docking station with some paperclip and pocketknife finesse. We haven't found the cable boot pieces.

[Bonlainy]

Can you imagine if it had been an old CRT monitor? Yikes!

[Merrick ap'Milandra]

*blink blink*

Soandso is having issues with his "D". He had the same problem six months ago, but I can't find the ticket.

I did however, find a ticket where one of the ladies in our office was having the same issue with her "O" button.

Now, I know for a fact they're referring to faulty keyboard issues, but...

...wow.

[FilanFyretracker]

D and O problems sounds like a sports issue.