Tales from Techsupport

[FilanFyretracker]

Customer put me on hold
They had hold music instead of muzak

I realized it was the piano love theme from Twilight
Okay, I can deal, it was a decent piece
Oh, wait, it's not ending... it's the same 15-20 seconds from the piece...

blah, never mind, I'd rather hear muzak

that sounds kinda sad considering it cannot be that hard to just have a way to interface a radio to the hold music input. If you use a broadcast station I doubt you can be ASCAP'd I know of more than a few smallish businesses that do the local radio hold thing.

[Tinthalas Tigris]

Sometimes no matter what they play, they fade it out every ten seconds to run the same "WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND ARE TOTALLY NOT CHEATING ON YOU, PLEASE STAY ON THE LINE" message super loud. Then every third time they switch it up with "DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU COULD DO THIS SHIT ONLINE? GOOD LUCK FINDING YOUR SPECIAL PASSWORD THOUGH, DIPSHIT HA HA"

Yep. I just wish they would increase the times between messages. Give me some semblance of enjoyment for being on hold. Those damn messages drive me fucking nuts.

[Tinthalas Tigris]

that sounds kinda sad considering it cannot be that hard to just have a way to interface a radio to the hold music input. If you use a broadcast station I doubt you can be ASCAP'd I know of more than a few smallish businesses that do the local radio hold thing.

It is illegal, just like sling tv. I know. Bullshit.

[Balthis]

My team facilitates a change management call twice a week. They read through a script at the start of the meeting that includes "Please do not put this call on hold. Drop the call or mute it instead." Due to the fact that when someone places the call on hold there is a beep that happens every few seconds to let you know that you are on hold. So when someone places the call on hold the entire meeting of 20-30 people has to listen to the beeping and the only way to stop it is for the host to drop the call and set it back up again.

At least once a month there is someone who does this. I swear they do it just to troll the meeting. I've spoken to the phone guys about this and they insist that there is nothing that can be done.

[Schezar]

that sounds kinda sad considering it cannot be that hard to just have a way to interface a radio to the hold music input. If you use a broadcast station I doubt you can be ASCAP'd I know of more than a few smallish businesses that do the local radio hold thing.

Rebroadcasting without a license is always illegal.

[FilanFyretracker]

I would have never thought of hold as rebroadcast. More just an extension of the in store system and that you can use FM for. Small businesses play FM all the time.

[FilanFyretracker]

Edit...

Went and googled it since I have free time... Seems you can only play the radio if your customer space is 3700 sqft or less.

[Mileron]

Using Internet Explorer to open larger XML files is like watching someone stripmine in Minecraft by punching.

[FilanFyretracker]

Using Internet Explorer to open larger XML files is like watching someone stripmine in Minecraft by punching.

Even small ones is horrible and makes you wish you had remembered to set your defaults to note pad or wordpad.

[Eremius]

Even small ones is horrible and makes you wish you had remembered to set your defaults to note pad or wordpad.

Wait, are we still talking about xml files or just using IE/Edge in general?

[FilanFyretracker]

Well I am guessing he was meaning people trying to view XML files in their code form rather than what they do.

[Mileron]

Tech: I'm getting an error indicating "database file read error" on dozens of database files
Me: An error that wide spread usually only has two causes. Did the user's computer crash yesterday?
Tech: No
Me: fifteen minutes later The errors you're getting are due to dozens of 0-kb database files. This is only caused by a computer crash or a virus. Did either of those happen yesterday?
Tech: Oh yeah the customer's PC crashed

Uh huh

[Mileron]

Tech: I'm getting error messages when using this program
Me: Those error messages indicate you have the wrong version of .NET. You need to run .NET 4.5.2 minimum to function. What version are you running?
Tech: Let me check. Minutes later... Wow sometimes Add Remove Programs moves so slow
Me: Wait, "Add Remove Programs" ? That means you're running Windows XP
Tech: Right, what's wrong with that?
Me: Microsoft ceased supporting Windows XP in April 2014. We too stopped supporting Windows XP for running our programs at the same time, and testing of our programs ceased in that OS as well. Further, Windows XP only supported .NET framework version 4 and lower. Thus, version 4.5.2 will not even install on this computer, making our software incompatible and unsupported.
Tech: Well how was I supposed to know?
Me: Sir, it's almost three full years since Microsoft stopped supporting XP. It's not a new thing to worry about.

[Merrick ap'Milandra]

My team facilitates a change management call twice a week. They read through a script at the start of the meeting that includes "Please do not put this call on hold. Drop the call or mute it instead." Due to the fact that when someone places the call on hold there is a beep that happens every few seconds to let you know that you are on hold. So when someone places the call on hold the entire meeting of 20-30 people has to listen to the beeping and the only way to stop it is for the host to drop the call and set it back up again.

At least once a month there is someone who does this. I swear they do it just to troll the meeting. I've spoken to the phone guys about this and they insist that there is nothing that can be done.

One place I worked, it would actually put the company's hold message out to the entire call.

The telecom guys had to open up bridge moderation to a whole crapload of people so you could fire up the webpage, see who was the idiot who put the bridge on hold, and kick them from the call.

Although, my all time favorite was the time, on a call of about 200 people, someone walks into the bathroom, unzips, and starts taking a leak for all to hear.

[Merrick ap'Milandra]

Tech: I'm getting error messages when using this program
Me: Those error messages indicate you have the wrong version of .NET. You need to run .NET 4.5.2 minimum to function. What version are you running?
Tech: Let me check. Minutes later... Wow sometimes Add Remove Programs moves so slow
Me: Wait, "Add Remove Programs" ? That means you're running Windows XP
Tech: Right, what's wrong with that?
Me: Microsoft ceased supporting Windows XP in April 2014. We too stopped supporting Windows XP for running our programs at the same time, and testing of our programs ceased in that OS as well. Further, Windows XP only supported .NET framework version 4 and lower. Thus, version 4.5.2 will not even install on this computer, making our software incompatible and unsupported.
Tech: Well how was I supposed to know?
Me: Sir, it's almost three full years since Microsoft stopped supporting XP. It's not a new thing to worry about.

Oh man, I never would have caught that. I've been typing "appwiz.cpl" into a command prompt since windows 2000 and never bothered to read the specific naming conventions for the various versions of the GUI element.

[FilanFyretracker]

One place I worked, it would actually put the company's hold message out to the entire call.

The telecom guys had to open up bridge moderation to a whole crapload of people so you could fire up the webpage, see who was the idiot who put the bridge on hold, and kick them from the call.

Although, my all time favorite was the time, on a call of about 200 people, someone walks into the bathroom, unzips, and starts taking a leak for all to hear.

I am reminded of that scene in "The Naked Gun: Files From Police Squad" where Frank was testifying in court or something and still has the wireless lav mic on and heads to the restroom...

[Alikat Astrae]

There is no .Net 4.5 framework for XP?

[Schezar]

There is no .Net 4.5 framework for XP?

Appears to be correct. MS site shows 4.0 for XP, but min system requirement for 4.5 is Win 7.

[FilanFyretracker]

Blizzard just ended its XP support for WoW.

[Alikat Astrae]

Now it is well and truly dead then. I have a laptop set up with a triple boot installed, the main one is Win7, then there are two installations of XP, a Service Pack 2 and a Service Pack 3. I wanted SP1 and SP3, but the laptop's XP drivers would only work for SP2.

I use the XP installs for legacy stuff, old hardware and software that just doesn't work right with Vista/7/8/10. Like the C-Media Duo XP and its drivers.