Tales from Techsupport

[Eremius]

The old accidental left-click and drag with move as a default option instead of copy.

AKA Drag & Lose

[Mileron]

One of my problematic coworkers is going to be retiring at the end of the month.
She's going through the process of uploading her not-inconsiderable data and PST files to the server, over VPN, even though I told her that she doesn't need to, and that I'd do it when she surrendered her computer.

In the emails going back and forth she says "I"m trying to get to X important website but keep getting page not found errors."

I ask for the link; she sends it to me.
I have no problem getting to it.
I obfuscate the link in my reply by typing "click here" then retroactively adding the URL.

"It worked that time!"

I think this one applies:

the-gift.png

[Tinthalas Tigris]

Tinth: "hey, i need labels made for [these new expensive devices] that say, '$50 Charge for removal or manipulation of this device. Do not alter or remove.'"

Dude: "Okay. Do you need them to scroll horizontal or vertical?"

Tinth: "let' s do horizontal."

Dude: "hmmm.. Well, it is in vertical labeling mode right now, and it is really difficult to change its layout settings. Im going to make it in vertical.

[Melcar]

NUT: Problem X occurred on User Y!

It happens so frequently here!

Me: Oh? how frequently?

NUT: Maybe 15 times (on different users each time) in the past 2 years I've been here.

Me: We have a different definition of Frequent.

NUT: Well, it just never happened last place I worked.

Me: Yeah, didn't happen here when we ran WinXP computers either.

[Tinthalas Tigris]

I came in early enough to grab the label maker myself. Not only did I change the label to horizontal orientation, but I made it print double lined.

This took me all of 3 seconds to configure after taking 2 minutes to READ THE FUCKING MANUAL (which was mostly pictures).

[Ialnyien]

I came in early enough to grab the label maker myself. Not only did I change the label to horizontal orientation, but I made it print double lined.

This took me all of 3 seconds to configure after taking 2 minutes to READ THE FUCKING MANUAL (which was mostly pictures).

Ah. I found your problem.

READ THE FUCKING MANUAL.

If everyone did this, we'd have double digit unemployment again.

[Mileron]

Coworker: Customer's getting errors about duplicate something something, can you fix his problem?
Me: When's the error occurring?
Coworker: When he's exporting the data. Can you fix his problem?
Me: If he's getting it when exporting his data, that means he has duplicate information, and you're the one that has to tell him how to remove the duplicates.
Coworker: But it's happening during the export process
Me: Exactly. He's got duplicate information in there. I don't know how to tell him to remove it.
Coworker: But it's an error during the export process! Errors are your area of expertise!
Me: tired of fighting Fine, send him over

Me: Hello sir, please tell me the error you're getting?
Customer: When exporting it says "you cannot export (foo) to (bar) when (blarg) are identical."
Me: That means that you have multiple duplicate (blarg) entries, and you need to fix them. I don't know how to do that, as that's a data entry question.
Customer: I'd do it myself, but I don't know where to look
Me: I can lead you a little but again, I'm systems-based... I provided some instructions to get to the window where he can view (blarg) entries
Customer: Why didn't the other girl ask me that?

I wish I knew. *headdesk*

[FilanFyretracker]

I came in early enough to grab the label maker myself. Not only did I change the label to horizontal orientation, but I made it print double lined.

This took me all of 3 seconds to configure after taking 2 minutes to READ THE FUCKING MANUAL (which was mostly pictures).

Some of these devices do not even need RTFM... Sadly we have a society that is scared to push buttons even on things they cannot really fuck up by pushing buttons.

[Aennyil]

Some of these devices do not even need RTFM... Sadly we have a society that is scared to push buttons even on things they cannot really fuck up by pushing buttons.

I'm one of those people who starts by pushing buttons and etc. Being an 8 for 10 quick start insistent individual the manual is the second to last resort. Last being tech support.

I am fact finder resistant (a 4) and follow through challenged (a 3, but barely, out of 10)

It's a bit of an adventure for me that I'm still stumbling into ways to customize this 8.1 Win machine I've now had three years.

[Tinthalas Tigris]

IMG_20160527_161011.jpg

Apparabtly, drainpipe makes good backing for drywall.

[Merrick ap'Milandra]

How the fuck long did it take you to find THAT doozy?

[Tinthalas Tigris]

How the fuck long did it take you to find THAT doozy?

Long story short, there was water coming out of a place it shouldnt. I opened up a wall and a ceiling and found two leaks. I called for one of the construction guys to come out and help me find it, and it turned into 3 then 4 then 5 leaks.

That nail wasnt even one of the leaks. The leak we opened it up for was up above it, so we cut out that full length of pipe to include the portion with the nail.

It happens. Probably had been in there for the last 40 years since the place had been built.

[FilanFyretracker]

Long story short, there was water coming out of a place it shouldnt. I opened up a wall and a ceiling and found two leaks. I called for one of the construction guys to come out and help me find it, and it turned into 3 then 4 then 5 leaks.

That nail wasnt even one of the leaks. The leak we opened it up for was up above it, so we cut out that full length of pipe to include the portion with the nail.

It happens. Probably had been in there for the last 40 years since the place had been built.

yea looking where that nail is I bet the water never came at the spot hard enough to push out. But I can see why you cut that section too, See a potential future problem kick it in the balls now before closing the wall up.

The real fun is when someone finds a freon line with a nail and kills the AC for the second floor of a house.

[Mileron]

Got this yesterday.

Customer: So tell me about whether or not your programs work under Windows 10
Me: Absolutely. You still need to right-click the program icon and choose "Run As Administrator" to activate licensing, or for updating, but yes, we fully function under Windows 10.
Customer: Oh, because, well, here in my office, we have people running 2007, 10, and 2013.
Me: after a moment Oh, you mean Office 2007, 2010, and 2013?
Customer: No, I said what I meant. One of my paralegals has Windows 2007. I'm looking to run Windows 10. And the other partner is running Windows 2013.

It had been a long day, and my brain was fried, so my response was:
Me: Well, you're in luck. Windows 10 is essentially Windows 2015, so you're good to go with that.
Customer: Fantastic!

[Merrick ap'Milandra]

yea looking where that nail is I bet the water never came at the spot hard enough to push out. But I can see why you cut that section too, See a potential future problem kick it in the balls now before closing the wall up.

The real fun is when someone finds a freon line with a nail and kills the AC for the second floor of a house.

I can do all kinds of seemingly miraculous things with computers, and not just by the definition of the end user, by people with more technical experience and certification than I.

It's not a constant, but after so many years of being burned in via shit environments with so many disparate technologies, I'd like to think I'm pretty decent at diagnosing things based on a symptom or two.

I could never do what you two are talking about, and I helped my father-in-law re-do all of the black pvc, showerhead, tub valve, drywall, and tile replacement because we're trying to sell our house.

I've assisted in silver soldering hot water lines and I would be at a COMPLETE loss with something like this, so I probably can't grasp the gravity of the situation, but I know for damned sure it'd cost me a lot of money if it happened to me.

Even the most maddening of multiple-week-long software issues does not annoy me as much as trying to figure out where to find an oblong toilet plunger that completely covers the bottom opening when someone has clogged the thing.

[Aennyil]

Merrick for oblong you just need to know the right cuss words to make a round one pucker up for you. Well, that's my experience anywho ... YMMV

[Tinthalas Tigris]

I laugh at most plungers people keep in their home. They tend to buy them because they either "look cute" or they got them at the 99 cent store.

In both cases, they don't do shit.

If it doesnt look like this :

http://hdsupplysolutions.com/shop/p/...y-duty-p151762

It isn't a plunger.

[Mileron]

The programs I support have a customizable user login name.
This login does not tie at all into the Windows user login; rather it simply globally affects what a user can do inside the program.
The Administrator-level login can do everything.
Sub-levels can do less and less, to the point where the "viewer" user can only look at tax returns. They can't even print.

Over the years, this process has evolved only a tiny bit.
Login names are stored in three different places, for different reasons.

Originally (in 2004) all the program lines used the same set of files (Database version Old).
In the 2005 to 2006 development year, one of the program lines was updated to use a different database version (version B) due to functionality requirements, and thus required the implementation of a second set of files.
In the 2007 to 2008 development year, two of the remaining three program lines were also updated to Database version C. This required implementation of a third set of files.
2008 to 2009 saw the last program line also migrate over to DvC.
A handful of minor utilities were still using DvOld.

So now, we have:
Program Line 1 using DvB
Program Lines 2-4 (including Sub programs) using DvC
Utility 1-5 using DvOld

Up until 2014, we didn't have to worry about it until one of the sub-programs got a major revamp. Originally as mentioned, Utility5 was still accessing the DvOld, but due to its (lack of) penetration and usage, no one cared whether you could configure that app's particular login. But with this revision in early 2014, it was updated so that it started to recognize the user login information in DvC.

This started a whole shitstorm of other problems when it tried to merge its DvOld information with DvC (overwriting more current information, for example) and when we escalated the problem our examples were ignored. So I underwent over a dozen hours of testing trying to figure out which of the programs were explicitly accessing which login files. I ended up with a pretty concise list.
Thankfully, they recognized the problem and updated the method by which Utility5 tried to consolidate login information.

Earlier this year, Utility5 was updated again, in conjunction with Program4, this time to try to use DvB.
This resulted in the login files of DvC getting wiped out and the login files of DvB getting corrupted.
When the issue was escalated to development, they stated "there's no way this release could cause the problem."
I used my previously-mentioned list as examples as to why they were wrong.
30 minutes after the update hit the web, it was retracted, the original login process restored to use DvC, and all was well. (Except for the half dozen firms that had to restore a couple 100KB data files from backup.)

Last week, an update to Program4-Sub-Print was released.
Because the print process looks at the login files (to determine whether or not the user's login is permitted to actually print), the activation of the print was getting errors in certain environments where customers had wildly disparate data between DvOld and DvC.

One of my coworkers submitted the first escalation and was told by the developer of Program4-Sub-Print to "remove the login files for DvB."
She fought it but he claimed he'd tested it extensively. She relented.
Naturally, it didn't fix their problem.

Yesterday, I got a call from a different customer with a different error using the same Program4-Sub-Print.
I requested and received copies of all of their login files. I was able to duplicate the problem, using their login files, on my brand new installation on my computer.
I started an escalation and was told by the developer, "Remove the login files for DvB."

You'll remember that DvB wasn't related in any way to the program for which I was performing troubleshooting.
I told the customer I'd get back to her after more testing.

I asked the developer "Why is Program4-Sub-Print using these files? It never has before" and got a vague "it touches them for comparison blah blah" response.

Then, because my coworker was out sick today, I ended up speaking to the customer for which she'd reported her original escalation.
Upon remotely connecting to their computer, I found that the old DvOld files were of a zero size (as in, 0KB).
So I removed them, knowing they weren't used by any of their current-year programs or any of the utilities they might access.
And, when printing from Program4-Sub-Print, ended up getting a completely different error message indicating "DvOld Login files not found."

Light bulb.

I provided Coworker's customer with a "blank" copy of the DvOld login files (with just the basic administrator login) and there were no errors whatsoever from Program4-Sub-Print.

I asked the developer "Why is Program4-Sub-Print using the DvOld login files? It hasn't in over 8 years" and got a vague "it isn't" response.

Bool sheet

So I started methodically testing.
I even grabbed a couple of the prior released versions of Program4-Sub-Print and tested them against the customer's user logins.
No error.

I documented every step I took to duplicate the problem.
I documented every step I took to show prior versions of Program4-Sub-Print didn't have the problem.

I played "musical chairs" with the files to figure out when the error was occurring and found:

1 - When Login DvB were in place, there were no errors from Program4-Sub-Print.
1b - When Login DvB were NOT in place, there were no errors from Program4-Sub-Print.
2 - When Login DvOld files were NOT in place there was a "missing file" error from Program4-Sub-Print.
2b - When Login DvOld files were broken, there was a "broken file" error from Program4-Sub-Print.
3 - When Login DvOld files were NOT in place, and using the prior version of Program4-Sub-Print, there was no error.
3b - When Login DvOld files were broken, and using the prior version of Program4-Sub-Print, there was no error.

So I an email to the developer, his manager, my manager, the sales reps of both affected customers, and my cohorts, detailing all the steps I took (with screenshots), as well as an estimate of the amount of downtime that each customer had experienced, the amount of time my Coworker and I had spent on the phone, the amount of time I'd spent doing all this testing, and the fact that immediate prior versions of Program4-Sub-Print didn't experience the problem.

My last question was:

Given the testing shown above and the results depicted, I ask again, why is the Program4-Sub-Print accessing 8+ year deprecated login files from DvOld?



BOOM. Mic drop.

[Tinthalas Tigris]

That's the kind of shit live for. Fuck yeah.

[Merrick ap'Milandra]

Mad.
Fucking.
Props.

Well goddamned played.