In his defense, he probably has his browsers linked by the same account.
We had a brief given last year by one of the junior managers using her works laptop. Part of the brief was looking at the intranet, for which she used chrome - it pulled in her favourites bar which several of the audience noticed had a link to pornhub. Not sure if she realised, but has been amusing us ever since.
If you're gonna enjoy choose alternative entertainment, try the Opera and only the Opera. If anyone asks you about your Opera, you say, "what's Opera?"
With a preference for them to be a PHD so you can do "What's Opera Doc?"Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1a...doc_shortfilms
Today we sail
On the Solar Rail
For there's much we just don't know
So farewell with a kiss
Then it's fast for the mist
Till we're sleeping in the cold below
on January First
Me: I request Friday, Feb 26th and Monday, Feb 29th
Manager: For what?
Me: Personal reasons
(I want to take my wife on a weekend away, because we haven't since we got married, and in fact haven't since early 2014)
Manager: I'm sorry there's a blackout for tax-season PTO time from January 1st until April 18th
This morning:
Coworker sends an email: I'm OOO until Friday, March 18th, as I'll be in Paris
229319-450x-f_72.jpg
Power outtage Friday; when I happened to be out of the office.
NUT (Yeah, I haven't killed him yet). States: oh, and these to desktops here don't won't connect to a particular web application anymore. Must be either the switch or the firewall.
--- Do you even know what a switch or firewall do?
"well, it must be either cause we've had similar problems in the past and it was either the switch or the firewall."
No we haven't.
He opened a support ticket with our vendor. Vendor calls about noon - You guys get these fixed yet? NUT asks me. I reply to NUT: I have not looked, I've been busy on important things. Does the problem persist on these computers?
NUT: "I've been to busy, I dunno."
I call up there, no problem today. and then I discover by accident how to replicate the error message he was getting... Open 2 sessions on the same computer in different tabs... Hey do you think maybe the error means "server thinks you're already connected".
Proceeed to once again explain to NUT why this couldn't have been a firewall or a switch problem.
NUT responds with "Well, whatever, I don't even really care anyway."
--- Just for the record, my reply was audible. "Obviously".
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
Not really Tech Support as much, or maybe it is.
I'm the poor guy in charge of IT equipment, including printers.
We have roughly 30-35 printers currently, most b/w laser, two injets (I know...) and a handful of multipurpose fax/scan/copy/print things. Plus a colour multi machine and a big colour copier. Total volume of prints/copies per year is ~100k, as seen in our paper buying behaviour.
We spend a fuckload of money, and an even bigger load of time, buying toner for 15 different types of printer. Murphy's Law is in full force too, meaning that one day after ordering toner for backup I get one to three calls/mails telling me they're running out. Of course they need the type I didn't order.
And then there's the waste. I'm collecting empty toner boxes like a fucking hoarder. When I hit 50, I "sell" them. That means we get anywhere from 0.00 to 4.00 (rarely) € per piece. So I earn back €100 or so per year for spending hours collecting, sorting, counting that shit.
Obvious solution is obvious:
The big copier is a rental. We pay a monthly fee, have a number of prints free, colour gets charged additionaly. They also offer small b/w printers, multipurpose b/w or colour, everything. Best of all the machines are all on the network (no more usb printers that you have to "share", which only work when the sharing machine is on, of course). AND they call home when the toner hits 20%, next day the new toner arrives, all I have to do is swap them out and wait for the old toners to be picked up.
Everything comes with a price though. Of course it costs money to have this kind of service, but bottom line we'd even SAVE money, if you calculate it through.
So I did just that, showed the numbers to my boss and my boss's boss. They were intrigued at first (my boss sees the amount of time and hassle this shit causes), and then, when it was time to make a decision, my boss's boss made the wrong decision. "nah we're not doing that at this time, we're trying to reduce fixed cost so I'm not going in a five year contract for €8k per year".
Well GOOD.
This month alone I've bought €700 worth of toner, and I'll probably do the same next month. And just you fucking wait when a printer breaks.
Next year someone is going to say "wow we spent a lot on toner and printers, should've done the rental thing" and I will bask in the light and say "See, I told you so."
God damn dense motherfuckers.
Couldn't think of a good place to put this without making a rather obnoxious new thread so...
Several hour increasing onset of panic when despite being 100% sober and decently well rested I blanked on what my master password was to the database which contains close to 100% of my passwords. Super luckily I was able to recall what it was a few hours later. I have since written down a hash of it.
That's happened to me before.
It's fucking SCARY.
After that happened the one time, I put a much more loosely passworded copy of the database on an invisible hidden partition on a truecrypted USB dongle that required a keyfile AND a password to make the partition visible, then shoved that key into the veritable PILE of 1 to 2gb keys I had, all different, none labelled. (This was 10 years ago, so larger keys were more expensive)
Shitty security through obscurity, but picking out whether a key should be 1gb when it was showing 1gb, or 2gb but only showing 1gb would have been fairly difficult for the average joe at the time, and then they would have needed to know which non-webfacing server had the keyfile on it and where and physically plug the thing in and unlock the partition, THEN know the "easier" password to unlock the db.
Only had to use it once, and that was because the dongle that had the more secure one died because it was a cheap usb dongle. I've since learned to make better backups.
For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.
Oh god yes... Mind fart - OH SHIT!That's happened to me before.
It's fucking SCARY.
I have the password written inside an envelope in my safe deposit box.
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
The last time it happened to me, i vowed to change at least one password a month, just so that I am forced to log into it, and update the file every couple of weeks. It has been quite a while, but that one instance was enough to make me sleepless for the weekend.
Yeah, exactly. I was just glad I did not have some kind of low limit on password guesses on it as I most likely would have triggered deleting everything. I do have a general backup of the database in a few places in a secure manner but the master password was nowhere else. That is the closest to panick induced red brain that I have been since I can recall. I had typed it in tens of minutes earlier, then had to do so again and could not remember it at all.
We have been getting a historically bombastic amount of calls - we're averaging over 32 calls a person per day, many of which are over 30 minutes long.
I've been giving out our support number quite a bit.
When my wife asked me for my SSN for her taxes, I gave her the support number
At least you've got business!We have been getting a historically bombastic amount of calls - we're averaging over 32 calls a person per day, many of which are over 30 minutes long.
I've been giving out our support number quite a bit.
When my wife asked me for my SSN for her taxes, I gave her the support number
I get approached by one of the mid-level managers last week.
Coworker: So did you hear?
Me: I hear a lot, but if there's gossip you have, you need to be more specific, and I really don't pay much attention to that stuff anyway.
Coworker: I'm leaving
Me: Wow, really?
Coworker: Yup, I'm moving to a much smaller company that deals strictly in blah blah blahdee blah.
Me: That's awesome, congratulations!
Coworker: Yeah, and they're right around the corner from my house so I don't need to commute more than an hour from mid-Delaware to Philly. So you'll be hearing a lot more from me
...
Me: ... Pardon?
Coworker: Yeah
Me: How so?
Coworker: Because I have more technical training than anyone there, they've asked me to be the ad-hoc computer and network person. So I figure I can give you a call.
This is a woman that couldn't figure out that the reason her monitor stayed blank was that the power wasn't on
Me: While I certainly appreciate the vote of confidence, I'm a little swamped right now, let alone supporting the office of ... how many people?
Coworker: Seventeen or so
Me: But still... I mean, you could contract me out and I could do it at my usual rate
Coworker: What's that?
Me: 247 an hour plus lunch gas and tolls
Coworker: Isn't that a little steep?
Sadly she missed the Spaceballs reference
Me: Maybe, but my family's got thousands of hours banked for me that I figure I'll see at the end of never.
Coworker: she laughs
Coworker: So if I get you a good rate, you'll do it, right?
Me: I'd need to draw up a contract and put in writing the limitations of what I'll be able to handle...
At the mention of a contract, she starts to get skittish...
Coworker: Maybe I could read up on some stuff, too, get my feet wet
Me: That's an idea too. But I'd still highly recommend getting an actual tech contractor.
Coworker: Any books you could recommend for me to start reading?
It's like she wants me to train her. She couldn't troubleshoot her way out of a tetris block.
This the the type of thing that makes me die a little inside.
I have a user who can't login because instead of forename.lastname she uses abbreviated_forename.lastname to login.
Thomas.Smith and Tom.Smith are not the same.
Maybe I could send her over to help your coworker though, they should get along just fine.
To be fair, i used to get pissed when people change my name on pay stubs, correspondance and shit in general from Nicholas to Nick.
I don't introduce myself as Nick, I don't sign documents as Nick, and i dont respond to Nick. I don't want to be paid as Nick.
From today's emails:
Is Microsoft Outlook down?
Reply -- Yes. We will notify you via email when it's back.From today's emails:
Is Microsoft Outlook down?
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
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