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Thread: Tales from Techsupport

  1. #1301
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Email from customer: I want weekend support for a specific weekend
    Me: Unfortunately we don't offer weekend hours, but let me forward your request to your Sales Rep. (Also CC'ed my manager)

    Email from Manager: several days laterWhy hasn't this customer's question been addressed yet?
    Me: We sent her request to Sales and Support Management. We're not able to answer her question. We were waiting for managerial response.
    Manager: Why hasn't this customer's question been addressed yet?

    Sometimes I wish I could be sarcastically honest and say something like "Because you didn't respond to MY question, dumbass".

  2. #1302
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Sometimes I wish I could be sarcastically honest and say something like "Because you didn't respond to MY question, dumbass".
    I probably would... but then I'm an Ass.
    I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.

  3. #1303
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    [QUOTE=Mileron;1844117Sometimes I wish I could be sarcastically honest and say something like "Because you didn't respond to MY question, dumbass".[/QUOTE]

    Quote Originally Posted by Melcar View Post
    I probably would... but then I'm an Ass.
    I do quite often - luckily my manager is on the same page as me, but it might also explain why I am never going to get promoted

  4. #1304
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Managers do not always come from the most intelligent crop.

    When I worked in retail the managers that did the best were the ones that came up through the ranks and not the ones who just had an MBA and never worked the trenches of retail.
    Today we sail
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    For there's much we just don't know
    So farewell with a kiss
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    Till we're sleeping in the cold below

  5. #1305
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    I can reply with a snark to my current manager (also explains why she's been my manager for 10 years, she is awesome) - but I've had other managers where a reply like that would mean an instant closed door meeting. Probably why I left for greener pastures:grimeeting.
    "Silver bullet solutions are rare, silver bullet sales commonplace"

  6. #1306
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    No edit in rants and tapatalk decides to spaz out
    "Silver bullet solutions are rare, silver bullet sales commonplace"

  7. #1307
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    And this week my boss forwarded me a mail from "win-licenses-now-cheap.com" or similar, and all he added was "fyi".

    I sometimes want to sell him a bridge.

  8. #1308
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Dawlin View Post
    I can reply with a snark to my current manager (also explains why she's been my manager for 10 years, she is awesome) - but I've had other managers where a reply like that would mean an instant closed door meeting. Probably why I left for greener pastures:grimeeting.
    One of the things I love about where I am now is the relationship I have with my direct report and my supervisor - We give each other shit constantly. But we also know that we have each others backs and that what needs to get done will get done.

    "With your shield, or on it"

  9. #1309
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Gah: hate people that need me to read for them:

    So here's the situation, one of our users is getting support from an external vendor - needs admin rights to the local computer to do what they need to do. (I believe they're putting on a new program version) anyways, useless retiring tech (URT)comes to boss and asks if we can give this user temporary local admin rights to do this and why... -- sure no problem, if that's what it needs.

    URT goes to Not-retiring Useless Tech (NUT) and asks NUT to remotely manage users computer and add user to local admin group. NUT pulls up Active directory tools - but grabs the wrong computer name. (Duplicate deprecated computer accounts).

    NUT says "oh this one must not be remote manageable" instead of the obvious explanation of NUT can't fucking read.

    I yell at NUT. Pull up the correct one. and manage the computer.


    NUT says "well, Mine doesn't even show all those other names."

    Yes it does NUT - you just can't read.

    "Well, why are all those old names still in there, they should all be taken out".

    Yes NUT, Yes they should; Think maybe that should be the job of the installer? The guy who's primary job it is to setup new computers and replace all the old computers with the new computers? what's his name again? I believe it was NUT. Think maybe HE'd be the appropriate one to take out the Old names?

    Fuck I hate my coworkers.
    I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.

  10. #1310
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Melcar View Post
    Gah: hate people that need me to read for them:

    So here's the situation, one of our users is getting support from an external vendor - needs admin rights to the local computer to do what they need to do. (I believe they're putting on a new program version) anyways, useless retiring tech (URT)comes to boss and asks if we can give this user temporary local admin rights to do this and why... -- sure no problem, if that's what it needs.

    URT goes to Not-retiring Useless Tech (NUT) and asks NUT to remotely manage users computer and add user to local admin group. NUT pulls up Active directory tools - but grabs the wrong computer name. (Duplicate deprecated computer accounts).

    NUT says "oh this one must not be remote manageable" instead of the obvious explanation of NUT can't fucking read.

    I yell at NUT. Pull up the correct one. and manage the computer.


    NUT says "well, Mine doesn't even show all those other names."

    Yes it does NUT - you just can't read.

    "Well, why are all those old names still in there, they should all be taken out".

    Yes NUT, Yes they should; Think maybe that should be the job of the installer? The guy who's primary job it is to setup new computers and replace all the old computers with the new computers? what's his name again? I believe it was NUT. Think maybe HE'd be the appropriate one to take out the Old names?

    Fuck I hate my coworkers.
    7/10; Needs more profanity vs. coworkers. I know you are up to the task.

  11. #1311
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    7/10; Needs more profanity vs. coworkers. I know you are up to the task.
    I dunno, my hearts just not in it anymore... You can only tell somebody they fucking suck so many times.

    Shit there was one time over the summer, was just me and the NUT in the office. NUT says "I just don't think I'm cut out for IT work".

    Yeah? And? - You expecting me to talk you down from the fucking ledge?
    Don't like your job? Don't like what you do? Don't think you can handle it? THEN FUCKING QUIT ALREADY so we can replace your dumbfuck ass with somebody who actually does their fucking job.


    Ok, most of that conversation happened in my head... I wasn't that mean - I did actually say the "what you expecting me to talk you down from the ledge? Quit..."

    Yup, I truly am an asshole.
    I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.

  12. #1312
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    <Server outage>
    <Call reporting supervisor to let him know it's back up, he calls me back>
    Genius: Returning your call
    Me: The <services you need> are back in service
    Genius: We noticed. What happened?
    Me: One of the servers went down.
    Genius: Is it back up?
    Me: ... Yeah

  13. #1313

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

    Im always told in meeetings among my peers that we are to try every possibility in remedying a situation before calling for assistance.

    I was snaking a drain starting from the problem and systematically moving down from point a to each section of pipe further down the line.

    After four hours, and just before opening the last serviceable section of pipe, i called my supervisor.

    "Why did you wait so long before calling? "

    Wtf.

    So he called in a sr tech who after two hours of doing exactly what i did said," we need to call a vendor. "

    Fuck.

    Now I'm sitting here waiting for a vendor.

  14. #1314
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    What do you use for a snake?

    We had to call a plumber once and he had a snake that was, like, 10 times anything I could get at Lowe's or Home Depot.

    I'd been working with the biggest one I could find for hours.

    He came in and had the clog un-done within less than 60 seconds and about 15 cranks of the snake.
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  15. #1315

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    I have 4, plus an auger. A 75foot 3/4" ridgid, a 35foot 1/2"general, a 25 foot 1/4" ridgid and a 25" ridgid auto clean with an auto feed (i never use it)

    They all have power feed, but that's only to grab whatever it is that might be clogging, and typically just use my hands to feed.

  16. #1316
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    So long story short never shake hands with you?
    ------------------------------------------
    I *AM* the Chinpokomon master!

  17. #1317

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Schezar View Post
    So long story short never shake hands with you?
    /chuckle

    I'm literally the cleanest individual most people could imagine. Most people who aren't quite aware of the work that I do are shocked when they see what I am capable of.

    I use a very fantastic brand of nitrile glove that is second to none. Raven SAS. They are the only brand of disposable glove that will hold up to the rigors of a powered-snake in operation, and the reason I choose disposable is because I don't want to deal with nastiness getting anywhere near my bare skin. As soon as I finish handling a snake and need to do something different (think sterile-necessity operating room), whether I am grabbing keys to open something or answer my cell phone, I take the gloves off, throw them on the ground and immediately begin another pair.

    ___

    Last night was ridiculous. After the sr. tech came and went, and the vendor came and did EXACTLY THE SAME SHIT I DID BY MYSELF AND WITH THE SR TECH, he finally did a trick I've never seen done before, nor thought of myself, and took a 2 armed attachment, and wrapped it with duct-tape, and basically paddled the blob of fat that was causing this siphoning backup.

    See, the clog wasn't operating like a normal one, where you just push the clog into the next largest pipe and let drain pressure carry it the rest of the way down. This was a cold, thick, congealing wad of fat. More than likely someone who started using Alli, but didn't change their diet. The snakes that we were using with all their swivel attachments just went through the wad which would close up after we were back out of it. The duct tape wad worked like a paddle and scooped it around until it got to the next open cap - an idea from someone who'd seen plenty more pipe than I and my peers had.

    As soon as he had it going, he yelled down to me, "Here it comes!" And right where the pipe goes from 3" to 4", this gigantic wobbly bobbly egg gelatin like ball flops down onto the cement, and before, in my exhausted delerium, could even think of filming it, he grabbed the hose and washed it away into a million tiny pieces of flob glob.

    It was amazing.

    Have you seen "Meet the Applegates?" That 1990s movie where the insect people moved into suburbia posing as humans? No? Okay, well, then this is the scene I'm thinking of:




    If I only had my phone up and ready, that very shocking moment would have been the very next viral video from youtube.

    If there is any lesson I can pass onto someone else from this, if you choose to take a diet pill, change your fucking diet.

  18. #1318
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris View Post
    /chuckle

    I'm literally the cleanest individual most people could imagine. Most people who aren't quite aware of the work that I do are shocked when they see what I am capable of.

    I use a very fantastic brand of nitrile glove that is second to none. Raven SAS. They are the only brand of disposable glove that will hold up to the rigors of a powered-snake in operation, and the reason I choose disposable is because I don't want to deal with nastiness getting anywhere near my bare skin. As soon as I finish handling a snake and need to do something different (think sterile-necessity operating room), whether I am grabbing keys to open something or answer my cell phone, I take the gloves off, throw them on the ground and immediately begin another pair.
    HAHAHAHA That's funny, because that's exactly how I washed all of our now-4-year-old daughter's cloth diapers when she was still in them, only I was just using hospital quality gloves.

    I'd even rinse them off and scrub them down before I took them off and tossed them in the trash, just to make sure nothing could be spread.

    It's not because I'm grossed out by other people's poop, it's just a matter of safety from disease, same reason I don't roll around in mud puddles at Renaissance festival despite being a peasant. People have gotten pink eye from dog poop for doing that. Same reason I wear boots out there. Belly dancers walking barefoot across woodchips that were used to shore up the wet soil have gotten lockjaw from stepping on a piece of metal that slipped into the woodchipper.

    A little precaution is WAY more sensible than fruit-flavored hand sanitizer and antibacterial soap, and it costs about the same.
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  19. #1319
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    I am *sooooo* glad I'm only a team lead and not a manger right now because it means I don't have to do the disciplining.

    One of our techs just responded to a customer's trouble ticket with "Have you tried googling it?".

    I would *NOT* be able to keep a straight face while having that talk.

    I've been laughing for 15 minutes straight at this point.
    For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
    http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
    Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.

  20. #1320
    Kinky Euro
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    That's awesome.

    Good use of the whole "give a man a fish and feed him for a day, show him how to do your job and become obsolete" analogy.

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