Other Tech:"There's something wrong with the network in room X."
Me: Did you try the other Jack?
OT: Well no, but I think this is the one it was plugged into before.
Me: Try the other jack.
OT: It still doesn't work.
Me: Did you switch to the other jack?
OT: No.
Me: There, now it works.
OT: What did you do?
Me: I plugged into the other jack. This one is set to staff - this one is set to guest. You plugged in a computer with a fixed staff network address into a switch port specifically set for guests. That's why it doesn't work.
OT: I don't get it.
Me: I'll go get my 2x4 we'll see if we can explain this properly. *wack* This Jack no worky for this computer; *wack* THis jack worky for this computer. *wack*.... Do we get it now? *wack*
--- Boss: What was the problem?
Me: Wrong network jack.
--- Boss: Wasn't that what you told OT to try?
Me: Yup.
--- Boss: So did he?
Me: I dunno, I went up, pinged the gateway, ping timed out... I swapped to the other jack, pinged the gateway -everything works. -- we have access to network resources...
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
Originally Posted by Melcar
I cannot COUNT the number of times something like this has happened to me before.
Bonus points for the 2x4.
I should re-label the putter I have in my cube (no, I don't golf, it was left behind by someone) from "Monitor Calibration Tool" to either "Printer Repair Tool" or "LART".
For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.
I'm curious if you guys get bothered by individuals who call the Gateway a Modem.
I cannot COUNT the number of times something like this has happened to me before.
Bonus points for the 2x4.
I should re-label the putter I have in my cube (no, I don't golf, it was left behind by someone) from "Monitor Calibration Tool" to either "Printer Repair Tool" or "LART".
Don't recall ever hearing that one.I'm curious if you guys get bothered by individuals who call the Gateway a Modem.
Major personal pet peeve though - is calling the "Computer, including case and all internal components" the "Hard Drive".
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
Or when they tell you "I did turn on the computer" when in fact all they did was turn on the monitor.
Nope because in some cases today the router is a modem too. Lots of ISPs now setup units that are both the cable modem and the gateway/router.
Today we sail
On the Solar Rail
For there's much we just don't know
So farewell with a kiss
Then it's fast for the mist
Till we're sleeping in the cold below
HaHa! Email received today... Paraphrased:
It's to hard to remember how to type a password with only 3 tries... I want to officially request 6...
Here's your official: "Request DENIED! Resubmit in 30 days for further denial."
Now this employee has been with us for oh, at least 6 years...
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
I don't think I've had it either, although there's a LOT of confusion between modem and router/firewall device. It's worse in enterprise client environments where there are managed switches and multiple ISP connections present, too.
I had a job once (7-10 years ago) where my predecessor (who had been there for 7 years before I replaced him) had three push pins and a ton of closely grouped pushpin holes in the drywall bordering his cube right above an old 70~ish gb scsi drive.
One held the bottom side of a floppy disk with the internal platter showing, right next to it was the label side of the floppy disk plastic, and then a little farther over was a hard drive platter.
I was there for a good two weeks before I started decorating my cube and finally asked "are these important? can I take them down" and was met with laughter.
One coworker said "Can I do it?" and when allowed, imitated my predecessor as follows.
Apparently, my predecessor, we'll call him "Frank", so often had people showing up at his desk asking for "hard disks" that he had to crack open a floppy and effectively nail it to the wall with a pushpin so he could yell
Apparently this happened multiple times a week with only a few hundred employees...for YEARS."I THINK YOU WANT A FLOPPY DISK.... THIS IS A FLOPPY DISK. SEE, THIS PART IS *yanks out pin and wobbles 3.5" floppy disk platter at person's face* ~FLOPPY~ *wobble wiggle wobble*. *impales busted floppy back on wall* THIS *yanks platter and waves it at them while flicking it with his finger so it makes noise* IS WHAT IS INSIDE OF A HARD DISK. *shoves it back on the wall* A HARD DISK LOOKS LIKE THIS WHEN IT IS PUT TOGETHER. *Lifts up SCSI drive and waggles it at them, then slams it down* WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?!?!?
Apparently he was wound pretty tightly anyway, but still...most of the employees had been there since 5 1/4" floppies were still widely used.
For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.
The worst part is, with the advent of solid state drives telling someone "okay, power down your machine since it's non-responsive, then wait a couple of seconds and power it back on. Let me know when it's done" CAN actually result in 15 second boot times on high end machines, so you have to ask them to describe their monitor because that's about how long it takes for a 21" sony crt to power back on when that's the only thing they turned off.
Easiest way I've found to mitigate that is to run a continuous remote ping on their machine with remote control software (Kaseya works great for this, even when a machine is unresponsive, and other software will literally let you know a machine has disconnected from the command and control server for a reboot sometimes) THEN tell them to reboot.
But yeah, I saw the "reboot = power cycle monitor" at least twice a month PERSONALLY until recently. It was at least 3 times a week team-wide.
Thankfully my current job has far more intelligent users, most of whom can find their own IP from command prompt without being walked through it.
For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.
YOU GOT TO USE IT!!!!
For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.
Also, this is where I would put in an ITIL asset change request (invisible to the user) for a computer replacement.
Change out user item:
Lenovo X-1 Carbon, serial number XXXXXXXX Asset Tag XXXXXXX
for the following items:
TOPS The Legal Pad Legal Pad, Perforated, Legal/Wide Rule, 50 Sheets per Pad, 12 Pads per Pack, 8.5 x 11.75 Inches, Canary (7532)
and
BIC Round Stic Xtra Life Ball Pen, Medium Point (1.0 mm), Black, 12-Count
Reason: Pen & Paper Brigade
Related Items: Security REQUEST XXXXXXX "Remove all sharp objects from username's cubicle. Policy Involved: Running With Scissors
For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.
I had a coworker tell me yesterday that she bought a 24k gold plated Ethernet cable...
So she could ensure her email would be delivered as quickly as possible.
Should ask her if she's noticed that her Youtube videos have better playback sound quality now...I had a coworker tell me yesterday that she bought a 24k gold plated Ethernet cable...
So she could ensure her email would be delivered as quickly as possible.
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
Should of told her that it needs to be de-ionized once a month for optimal performance. You would be willing to do it for $10 a month. When she finally catches on tell her it was a stupid tax for buying a gold plated Ethernet cable.
Ok, His Idea is better.Should of told her that it needs to be de-ionized once a month for optimal performance. You would be willing to do it for $10 a month. When she finally catches on tell her it was a stupid tax for buying a gold plated Ethernet cable.
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
The sad part is, she probably wouldn't ever catch on.
This is 'Murrica. That's the good part.
"Who do I talk to about getting permission to use this database that I use every month"...
ummmmm....
"Who do I talk to about getting permission to use this database that I use every month"...
ummmmm....
"I need to do this report, that the front-end doesn't have; but my support said I could open it in access, and do the report that way, but I don't have the necessary permissions to open it in Access"...
ummmmm......
"well, I go out to network location and it's just not there. -- Oh, I was looking in the wrong spot, teee-heee"
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
Coworker: My husband bought me a wireless speaker for Christmas so I can listen to Pandora anywhere in the house
Me: Okay
Coworker: Except when I try to connect it to my work laptop, it says "Wifi must be enabled by your IT administrator."
Me: Are you sure it's a wifi speaker? I'm pretty sure it'll be Bluetooth, which our laptops don't support
Coworker: It's definitely a wifi speaker
Me: Read the box to me
Coworker: Bose 414255 Bluetooth Wireless speaker
Me: That's not wifi. That's Bluetooth wireless. There's a difference.
Coworker: No there's not!
On the bright side, she can buy a USB Bluetooth dongle.
I tried using one of those for a while to automatically lock my workstation at work when I stepped away.
Sadly, despite trying multiple pieces of software, none of them allowed a true range adjustment, so my machine would stay unlocked despite my phone being 200ft down the hall and around the corner with me and I wanted it to lock if I was more than about 10 feet away so the fast typers in the office couldn't send e-mails as me when I got out to shouts of "EMERGENCY!" and ran to someone else's cube.
Settled on just locking it manually before getting out of my chair.
For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.
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