UGH.Originally Posted by Dawlin
The only thing worse than browser plugins is every piece of CRM software I have ever touched, especially if you're using it on a terminal server or a citrix farm.
For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.
Thankfully (or sometimes not, but that's a very very long topic of conversation) the CRM software is browser-based. So most problems are solved to the tune of "Shut down every IE window you have open, try again".
They're using it locally, no terminal servers. Thankfully!
"Silver bullet solutions are rare, silver bullet sales commonplace"
Monday. Always Monday.
Before I could even hit the "on" button on the coffee maker at work, I had to cut into 6 different sections of drywall before finding the darn piece of ABS that somebody decided to pour bleach and drano down (This is called a DRANO BOMB), causing the 2 inch clogged line to literally explode.
I went in with our drywall guy (the guy is a fucking genius when it comes to putting a piece of drywall back on and in place and looking flush - seriously, you might think you did a good job, this guy makes it look like no one was even in there to begin with) and replaced about 24 inches of ABS after pulling and replacing the toilet, and putting all the pieces back in and together.
It all started with knocking on the tenant's door about 12 times (because he didn't have keys, and I hadn't arrived yet) to letting myself in, and the dog coming down and barking his head off, to the son (19 years old?) coming down and grabbing the dog and putting it in his room, cutting the 6 holes, finding the problem, replacing the pipe, adding no-hubs, building new backing, reseating the drywall, mudding it, retexturing it, waiting half an hour for the VOCs to air our and dry, and then moving on, to get a phone call that the son (who let the dog into his room) was complaining about the smell of the texture and formally requested to open windows in the apartment because the son was suffering from back problems, and bronchities, and you name it. Saying I'd take care of it, but having to put all my drywall tools away (they take about half an hour to get cleaned so they don't rust).
When I got back to the apartment, the front door was open, the back sliding glass door was open, the kitchen window was opened - Mission accomplished, right? WRONG.
I call out, "Maintenance, HELLO?" "Maintenance HELLO!" (everyone says I yodel when I do this). I hear, "GET THE FUCK BACK!," in the most earnest of tweaker voices screamed down to me from upstairs. Followed swiftly by, "it's okay puppy, go into my room puppy, it's okay." followed by the son coming downstairs, lifting up a piece of furniture in rage and throwing it against a wall (Which i'm pretty sure caused damage) , followed THEN, by the kid handing me the phone he is on and saying, "You need to talk to my mom."
I talk to the lady and say, "Hello, this is Nick with maintenance, how can I help you?"
"Our toilet is clogged upstairs."
"Yes, I can take care of that."
GO upstairs, and 2 minutes with a plunger (that is next to the toilet), I have the darn thing flushing just fine. I've taught classes paid on overtime on how to use a plunger. Seriously. I'm not lying. $25 an hour, and I'm your private tutor on the subject.
After all was said and done, I tell all this to the manager of the property (its sort of required. WHen a tenant becomes physically agitated we have to report it, and I did). Shit hits the mother-fucking-fan. This lady basically is explaining every pent up bit of agression that her self-entitled son of god who doesn't have a job or any other responsibility suffers from every petty ailment under the sun.
Son and Sun. Thats how I truncate it when I tell people about the issue we all run into every once in a while.
Shit gets stupid when people decide to be stupid.
I could rant more, but I won't. Its weird.
Could you point me to the part that has ANY FUCKING THING to do with technology?
Could you point me to the part that has ANY FUCKING THING to do with technology?Plumbing Technology.Technology (from Greek τέχνη, techne, "art, skill, cunning of hand"; and -λογία, -logia[1]) is the making, modification, usage, and knowledge of tools, machines, techniques, crafts, systems, and methods of organization, in order to solve a problem, improve a pre-existing solution to a problem, achieve a goal, handle an applied input/output relation or perform a specific function. It can also refer to the collection of such tools, including machinery, modifications, arrangements and procedures. Technologies significantly affect human as well as other animal species' ability to control and adapt to their natural environments. The term can either be applied generally or to specific areas: examples include construction technology, medical technology, and information technology.
You're welcome.
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
A different set of tubes that you back your dump truck onto.
Nobody likes a fucking smartass.
Fuck you. Ok, I laughed.
It's a character flaw...Nobody likes a fucking smartass.
but hey, to thine own self be true right?
So deal with it.
I know.Ok, I laughed.
Not with out dinner first... well ok, maybe just some wine. Well how about some Scotch if you're in a hurry....Fuck you.
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
Ooops.
I just realized the previous post had nothing to do with Technology... Wait does Scotch count? Distilling technology? Oh good - we're safe!
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
Is there some positive metric to tickets closed per time frame?
I ask this because I have seen where metrics ruin the quality of customer service because they run on pure numbers.
Today we sail
On the Solar Rail
For there's much we just don't know
So farewell with a kiss
Then it's fast for the mist
Till we're sleeping in the cold below
I have, always and forever will hate the numbers game.
I understand why it is in place, but it just pisses me off. Someone who completes tickets negligently, but quickly will be perceived as a racehorse, or a starbuck, and possibly someone who deserves to raise in the ranks quickly.
THe guys who go through all the typical diagnostic checks to just make sure everything is good get labeled as being slow - even though the are thorough.
Happens with CSRs, Techs, IT, you name it. Hate the numbers game.
Sadly I get the feeling the numbers are created by people who have never touched any part of a customer service job, be it a supermarket or phone rep. I state this because if everybody at the top had actually worked at the bottom they would know that customers like it when a CSR spends time on their problem rather than "Okay that did not work, I put in a ticket and we might have to roll a truck." However the metrics game demands otherwise. I am guessing this is why small companies have great customer service many times, They are still privately owned and if the owner wants to focus on good service they can.
Today we sail
On the Solar Rail
For there's much we just don't know
So farewell with a kiss
Then it's fast for the mist
Till we're sleeping in the cold below
Sales Rep: I need you to help my customer
Customer: I'm not in front of the computer so I couldn't even tell you what my issue is
Me, to SR: He wasn't in front of the computer and couldn't tell me what his problem was, so I gave him basic instructions, the support number and hours
SR: So what seems to be the issue?
It's obviously me. Duh.
Me, to SR: The customer wasn't in front of their computer.
But I'm a big fan of "ask a stupid question..."
It drives me livid when people ask to borrow my tools. I have a very intimate relationship with my tools. They are always where they are supposed to be in my toolbag, and always function, and when they do not, I am the first to know about it, and am at the ready to repair or replace them as necessary, and usually have a ready backup until then.
For that reason, as they are my tools, and I have spent many years perfecting how they are ergonomically stored and retrieved like they are extensions of me, it truly bothers the hell out of me when tenants walk up to me and ask if they can borrow a tool. It is not so much that they are asking to borrow it, it is that they are persistant. The other day, I had a guy ask me for a spanner wrench - only, he used that term I disdain dreadfully, "monkey wrench."
I told him that unfortunately, I couldn't, I have a strict policy that I don't let tenants use my tools, solely because I would have to relinquish responsibility of them by giving them to the tenant (it is in our employee manual), and if he injured himself, I would have to hold myself responsible for not instructing him in the proper use of it.
He says, "Oh man, its only so I can get a nut off. I'll bring it right back."
He has a very hot peruvian wife, slimmer than my normal tastes, but for the moment, this proved inconsequential.
"Can I borrow your wife? I only need to get a nut off. You can have her right back."
I didn't say this, but it was definitely at the tip of my tongue. Instead I just apologized. And then watched his wife's ass bounce from a distance out of the corner of my eye.
Tech: I'm getting an error message
Me: Okay, what's the message?
Tech: reads me an error message that basically indicates an invalid and unusable data file
Tech: By the way, I really don't appreciate your support guys telling me I have a virus
Me: checking previous call, the last rep on my side told the user to get the tech on the phone due to possible virus
Me: Well sir I'm sorry you feel that way, as a tech myself I fully understand the pain of cleaning up virus infections. However the error message that you've given is relatively rare. When an actual corrupt data file occurs, the errors are different. This particular error states the table is invalid, which means the program cannot even detect that it's a usable data file. Over the last 9-10 months we have experienced a number of calls where a firm was struck by an encryption virus and resulted in the exact error message you read to me.
Tech: Prove it
Me: I walk him through opening a number of data files in Excel. All are encrypted. I walk him through opening a number of PDF and RTF files. All are encrypted.
Tech: That's not possible. I scanned the server and there's nothing active.
Me: But what if the virus is active on a workstation, and affecting the mapped drive upon which my program sits?
Tech: total silence for almost fifteen seconds
Tech: How do I fix it?
Me: Verify your server's clean and your workstations won't reinfect, and restore from backup.
Tech: You gotta be fucking kidding me.
You're right. July Fools!
Cryptolocker!
Hate that thing.
For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.
Not techsupport but a tale nonetheless
"Hey Ninetoes, you signed for a package yesterday and we don't have it here"
"Ok, what's the tracking number?"
"Don't have one"
....
"OK, what was the name on package?"...
"Don't know"
......
"Well I'm not going to be able to find out anything without at least a a name"
"....well that's not good, let me see if I can get you a tracking number"
A couple of minutes later..
"Here is the tracking number, they are insisting you signed for it"
Check ups.com: Package is out for delivery today, and had not been signed for
"Yeah, the package hasn't been delivered yet, will be delivered today."
"So you DIDN'T sign for it?"
/headdesk
"With your shield, or on it"
I was thinking about that after reading about how it has developed into a more insidious design, and it is to the point where the practice of all backups all the time with massive redundancy is quite potentially made entirely moot or will require even greater, more costly efforts.
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