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Thread: Tales from Techsupport

  1. #781
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Ronaan View Post
    Walk over, hit power button on monitor, fixed.
    I'm with stupid.
    No, you're with normal. Several examples in this very thread
    "Silver bullet solutions are rare, silver bullet sales commonplace"

  2. #782
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Ronaan View Post
    I usually configure everything including the stuff the user has to do, but then I also physically install their new machine and tell them what has changed. Also, move local files from their old PC even though nothing is supposed to be saved locally.
    Saves me the headache of explaining why their shit is gone.

    Today: "my screen is blank." - while I tried to get a SQL database back up that had an error message. "Give me a minute, I'll be right with you" I said. She just stands there and repeats her plea not once but twice, ruining my train of thought.
    Walk over, hit power button on monitor, fixed.
    I'm with stupid.
    People are dumb. Hell they call cable tech support because their monitor says "No Signal" they are too dumb to know that the power failure kind of made their computer shut off and that they have to turn it on again when the wires get fixed and the power comes back on.
    Today we sail
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    So farewell with a kiss
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  3. #783
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    I just talked to a tech guy who, in the presence of his customer stated out loud, "I don't believe in anti-virus and don't think workstations should have it."

  4. #784
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    That reminds me of the guy who - against corporate policy - sticks his usb drive into my network, virus scanner lights up like a fucking christmas tree, plus the music he has on it is of questionable origin.
    Fails to see the problem too, continues doing it. Has managed to kill two usb ports on our presentation notebook. Didn't notice. He also didn't notice that he had the plugs upside down.

    He's been here for 25++ years so no way to have him sanctioned really. Time is on my side though.

  5. #785
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Guy tries to plug a USB flash drive into a notebook computer's USB port, it's upside-down, so it doesn't go in easily. So what does he do? Does he back out and re-aim? No, he drives harder inwards, against the resistance, finally breaking through, destroying the usefulness of the USB port forever.

    Ladies, do not EVER have sex with this man!

  6. #786
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Mileron View Post
    I just talked to a tech guy who, in the presence of his customer stated out loud, "I don't believe in anti-virus and don't think workstations should have it."
    ....
    I'm just going to leave this here

    George.jpg

    "With your shield, or on it"

  7. #787
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Ninetoes View Post
    Pretty sure that is the working theory.

  8. #788
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae View Post
    Guy tries to plug a USB flash drive into a notebook computer's USB port, it's upside-down, so it doesn't go in easily. So what does he do? Does he back out and re-aim? No, he drives harder inwards, against the resistance, finally breaking through, destroying the usefulness of the USB port forever.

    Ladies, do not EVER have sex with this man!
    Has three daughters, heh.

    This same guy has a notebook with 2 rows of dead pixels, each 10 px or so high, and a non-working optical drive that just slips out of its bay.

    I refused to buy a new one for him because computers have feelings too, but with windows xp getting no support soon I had to. His desktop + notebook get replaced by a notebook + docking station.

    The exchange is on monday and I might just call in sick, developing a cold.

  9. #789
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    You should be in - make sure that the newly delivered laptop has the USB ports disabled.

  10. #790
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Woodja View Post
    You should be in - make sure that the newly delivered laptop has the USB ports disabled.
    Just because they won't technically work doesn't mean the user wouldn't try jamming shit in there to try it.

    Have a Stinkpad Craptop in the office that's older than fossilized shit - was an original XP system - which has one bent USB port and one with no contacts inside. Someone tried to jam the connector from a USB mouse because it wasn't working and he didn't hear the beep, so he kept jamming harder thinking it wasn't making contact.

    Well, it wasn't.

  11. #791
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Don't they sell plastic plugs to fill in an unused USB port? Pre-empt this mofo!

  12. #792
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Woodja View Post
    You should be in - make sure that the newly delivered laptop has the USB ports disabled.
    I'm the one doing the delivering so.... it's safe for now.

    Re: those plugs - I plugged our new media notebook up good with those, added a usb hub for convenience, now they think I'm doing them a favor :-p

  13. #793
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Mileron View Post
    I just talked to a tech guy who, in the presence of his customer stated out loud, "I don't believe in anti-virus and don't think workstations should have it."
    That's becoming more and more popular as the antivirus model of "detection by heuristics" becomes less and less effective.

    Why pay a yearly licensing fee for something that doesn't do squat?

    It's far safer to ensure users have NO local admin rights under any circumstances (psexec shortcuts for shitty apps that require it to run), use an external spam filter to strip things like executables or scripts inside of zip files from e-mail attachments (MX Logic, Securence, Postini, MailMax etc), set your group policy so that nothing can run inside of AppData unless it's specifically whitelisted by executable name, filter everything through a web proxy server that blocks all websites you don't specifically allow (best practice) or at least blocks common known vector sites, setting up your connection so your e-mail server uses one external IP and your internet traffic flows through another one, block all inbound and outbound ports that aren't 100% ACTUALLY necessary, etc, etc, etc.

    The latest batch of viruses is already completely done doing damage by the time ANY modern antivirus can detect it.

    Alternately, put everyone on locked down thin clients with citrix or terminal services, with a FULL LOCKDOWN POLICY IN PLACE so that the users can't do anything but work.

    It's rapidly coming to the point that the loss of data and productivity from the newest batch of cryptolocker infections is causing the higher-ups to see beyond employee complaints and start looking towards actual security.
    For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
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  14. #794
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra View Post
    That's becoming more and more popular as the antivirus model of "detection by heuristics" becomes less and less effective.

    Why pay a yearly licensing fee for something that doesn't do squat?

    It's far safer to ensure users have NO local admin rights under any circumstances (psexec shortcuts for shitty apps that require it to run), use an external spam filter to strip things like executables or scripts inside of zip files from e-mail attachments (MX Logic, Securence, Postini, MailMax etc), set your group policy so that nothing can run inside of AppData unless it's specifically whitelisted by executable name, filter everything through a web proxy server that blocks all websites you don't specifically allow (best practice) or at least blocks common known vector sites, setting up your connection so your e-mail server uses one external IP and your internet traffic flows through another one, block all inbound and outbound ports that aren't 100% ACTUALLY necessary, etc, etc, etc.

    The latest batch of viruses is already completely done doing damage by the time ANY modern antivirus can detect it.

    Alternately, put everyone on locked down thin clients with citrix or terminal services, with a FULL LOCKDOWN POLICY IN PLACE so that the users can't do anything but work.

    It's rapidly coming to the point that the loss of data and productivity from the newest batch of cryptolocker infections is causing the higher-ups to see beyond employee complaints and start looking towards actual security.
    I have to agree, it seems the way to stop the bad now is policy, security and for people who have the knowledge they do not need policy they practice safe hex.. Firefox+adblock alone does amazing things let alone when you toss in noscript.

    Downside is a lot of companies are bound by the balls to IE and worse than that its IE6
    Today we sail
    On the Solar Rail
    For there's much we just don't know
    So farewell with a kiss
    Then it's fast for the mist
    Till we're sleeping in the cold below

  15. #795
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker View Post
    Downside is a lot of companies are bound by the balls to IE and worse than that its IE6
    The latter portion of your comment is incorrect.

    http://www.modern.ie/en-us/ie6countdown


    Aside from that, being bound to IE is not an entirely bad thing aside from the fact that new IE versions break legacy software and often re-work their plugin compatibility and UI, which causes no end of end-user headache.

    It is, however, very difficult to push a group policy object that enforces proxy server settings to firefox or plain chrome. (You can do it with Chrome for Business, which respects AD Group Policy, though)

    Companies are bound by the balls to IE because (and I risk sounding like Jonas here) it's the most efficient way to tie in the infrastructure because it's a microsoft product that's made to work with other microsoft (read: domain controller and programming languages for windows boxes) products.

    I always love it when people say how inherently awesome and secure chrome is because it makes me laugh.

    One of my coworkers had to yank the hard drive out of his girlfriend's PC so he could copy the relevant data onto a new one he already had with a new OS (busted laptop screen) and since he had to copy her data over, on a lark, he replaced his own chrome profile with hers.

    BLAM!

    Instant access (even though the session had been stale for days) to her facebook, her gmail, pretty much anything she had visited WITHOUT SAVED PASSWORDS.

    Chrome apparently keeps session state alive for some sites via flat file data.

    Oh, and then there's stuff like this that makes me laugh harder when people say they're secure because they use (insert browser here):

    http://www.securityfocus.com/bid/63729

    Software can't protect us.

    Software is the attack vector.

    Fixing bad computer behaviour in all computer users is the only solution.
    For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
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  16. #796
    Kinky Euro
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra View Post
    Fixing bad computer behaviour in all computer users is the only solution.
    Good luck.
    </96hours kidnapper voice>

  17. #797
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
    I always love it when people say how inherently awesome and secure chrome is because it makes me laugh.

    One of my coworkers had to yank the hard drive out of his girlfriend's PC so he could copy the relevant data onto a new one he already had with a new OS (busted laptop screen) and since he had to copy her data over, on a lark, he replaced his own chrome profile with hers.

    BLAM!

    Instant access (even though the session had been stale for days) to her facebook, her gmail, pretty much anything she had visited WITHOUT SAVED PASSWORDS.

    Chrome apparently keeps session state alive for some sites via flat file data.
    So your example of Chrome being insecure involves someone having physical access to someone's hd? ... huh?
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  18. #798
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Schezar View Post
    So your example of Chrome being insecure involves someone having physical access to someone's hd? ... huh?
    Yes, because noone ever in the history of anything has ever been able to gain access to the files on someone's hard drive remotely.
    For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
    http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
    Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.

  19. #799
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Yes, but how does that make Chrome insecure? If someone has access to your drive that's pretty much game over you lose as far as security goes. It also has nothing to do with whether a browser is secure for browsing websites.
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  20. #800
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Wednesday drive-by stupid:

    "what do you mean by the username can't be blank?"

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