You should talk to Jeannie at Dell, she's at 867-5309.
We had an interesting problem happen a couple weeks ago with our Dells and their docking stations. One of the pins was bent in the docking station and it shorted out the motherboards (basically destroyed) any laptops plugged into the station. We bricked 3 laptops before we discovered it.
So one of our other "computer specialists" comes to me... Complaining that her word wrapping doesn't work & asking if mine does - so we go through a demonstration with the basic test phrase "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog". .
Copy paste that 30 times or so, resize the window everything works great.
Quick google search turns up where the exact setting is - I show the tech & get I already did that, it doesn't work....
I finally come over and look the computer.
The test phrase used.
asl;dfjna;kvnaipernba;efnbk;adjfnvio;awjeruofgn ;adfjnvajklsdfnvkasdfvjkasnfvnaklsdfvnaklsdfvbalks dfvblakshbvajklsdfvbhafjkdfvbadksfjvhbakdfvhf;ogiu q9234thgal;kfjvnal aldkfjbnadklfhvbaklshedbf;drvjh230957u4rqwjklrvnas dfaskdrjvnasklvnaskldjvnasaskdjfh234ihltblkasjdbfv klasjfgbalskrejhgbaskljerfhlkasjefbklasejfbaklsjeb nvkljasbndvjknio432qn54tkje5rgnlqeklrjgnalskdjvbkl rjkrjbnvjnfkljasnjklvnrajkluw34h5klq3w4jtnlkjearjn grjaklsrjntgfjaklkrjgnrjalkrjgnasrkjg
note the lack of spaces...
/BONK
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
Shoot me... Shoot me now...
Apparently it's become stupid question week again:
HELP HELP HELP - the computer's stuck on this "press ctrl-alt-delete" screen.
Yeah ok
Well, I press that and it comes up with this other guys name! So, I hit cancel and it just goes back to that ctrl alt delete screen!
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
HELP HELP HELP - My new emails are showing up in Unread Items but not in my Inbox, but just for today!
See that '+' next to today? Click it.
Names change to protect the clueless
Originally Posted by Clueless n00b
What, you mean that that one website isn't THE Internet? There's MORE?!? Next you'll be telling me that there are pictures of naked ladies available!
It's the information super-highway, OF COURSE it's under construction!
'This world may be another planet's hell.'{Aldous Huxley}
'After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.'{Aldous Huxley}
Spoiler for nekkid chicks:
A shout out to all my peeps!
One of our apps has the ability to merge datasets together. It's a unique feature to the app (out of our product line) and is not a widely publicized feature due to complications that can arise.
This customer has something like 15 datasets that they merge into a single dataset at the end of every year, because they are inputting so much data it takes hours for reports to generate.
So they call up.
Customer: I'm trying to run a report for 1/1/2011 to 12/31/2011 date range, but it keeps saying " is not a valid boolean value.
Me: Do you have any transactions for that date range?
Customer: Let me get back to you.
Me: If you do have transactions, I need to see a copy of the client dataset.
A week later, I get an email from our training manager who says:
Trainer: I talked to X Customer, and they said you didn't help them with an error they're getting in their dataset.
Me: I told them that if they have transactions in the date range for the report, and are still getting the error, I'd need to see the dataset. Did you ask them for a copy of the file?
Trainer: No
Me: Well, then I can't do anything.
I get back from vacation.
Trainer: Remember that issue with X Customer? Well they provided the client file. They are running reports for a date range of 1/1/2011 to 12/31/2011 but getting errors.
Me: *examines file* There's no transactions for that date. In fact, the version of the dataset they sent us doesn't have transactions for 3 years prior to that date.
Trainer: So it won't print reports then?
... *headbonking*
Finally ended up getting a copy of the previous post's client file.
There's over 114K records, and trying to do (what is usually) the simplest maintenance processes that our Usage department would suggest locks up the computer (i7 with 8GB RAM).
Off to Development it went.
Anyway:
Coworker bought an iPad for school, she got the office wifi password from the trainer (from the previous post) which I had sent him a year or so ago, with the note "all 0s in the password are zeroes and not the letter O".
Naturally that was ignored when she typed it in and she had all sorts of problems getting connected.
Then I get a series of emails from a customer's tech which are data entry related, and that the tech's attorney has spent two days trying to fix the problem.
I tell the tech that I cannot help with a data entry problem and the attorney needs to call our Usage group.
She replies and says "No they are technical related, because the tax calculation isn't right." It's coming up as zero.
Um, last I checked, that's still not a systems issue...
She refuses to have the "attorney who has better ways to spend her time than to waste it on the phone with Support" call the right department, so I try to deal with her problem.
Come to find out that her user's not hitting the "Calculate All" button after doing her entries.
So her billable-time attorney just wasted two days of putzing around where the problem could have been solved with a 3 minute call to Usage.
That sounds.... taxing.
The following has some condensing done; this is currently taking place LIVE! bwahaha and it's taken me almost 10 minutes to do 2 minutes of work due to this guy's terrible communication...
Tech: Our new W7 solution is getting errors when running your program. WinXP still works fine.
Me: We need to troubleshoot W7 by itself. Is anyone using any of the (5 listed products)?
Tech: Yes.
Me: We need everyone out of (5 listed products) in order to be able to troubleshoot.
Tech: (i hear him typing an email to the users)
Me: Okay, let's rename X.DBF file...
Tech: It's telling me it's in use
Me: Is anyone still in the programs?
Tech: Yes, there are users in programs 1,2,3,5
Me: We need people to get out of all five programs
Tech: Okay, let me email again...
Me: Okay, let's rename X.DBF again
Tech: Still saying it's in use. There's users in programs 1,2,4
Me: We need to get all users out of ALL FIVE programs
Tech: Fine, I'll page the manager of that department.
Me: If worse comes to worse, just email them that they will be forcefully kicked in 3 minutes and then just kick them
Tech: But what if they still need to use the programs?
Me: Are we going to troubleshoot this now or later?
Tech: I want to troubleshoot it now
Me: Then we need all the users out of ALL the programs.
Tech: (has me on hold for 5 minutes)
Tech: Oh, while I had you on hold I discovered the difference between the W7 and WinXP solutions, there are differences in the way the apps look at the server they're located on, can't I use both?
Me: No. You have to pick one.
Early 2010 we replaced our aging (dead and roadkill, actually) Sony AIT3 external SCSI tape backup with an external SAS LTO drive.
Every week, we have incrementals on one tape, and every Friday, a full backup is done on a unique tape. Monday the tapes are switched to a new weekly tape, and the process repeats. I take the tapes home over the weekend, and on Mondays, hand them to my counterpart who takes them home.
Every 4th week, we send our full backups to our sister office in a geographically nearby location, where a shipment is overnight, or a 2 hour drive to pick up.
They are supposed to do the same thing.
Last Monday:
Office VP: Have you heard from (other location) about their backup tapes?
Me: No, should I have?
VP: Well apparently they failed their Security audit because they've been overwriting the same backup tape for over a year now.
Me: They're doing what now?
VP: I said the same thing. Anyway, you should be getting tapes from their desktop admin as part of their backup procedures.
Me: I can't remember the last time I saw tapes come in from them. Has to be a good three or four years.
VP: Exactly.
Last Friday:
VP: Did you get those tapes yet?
Me: *checks* No, we only received our next month's allotment of tapes that we send HIM from our backup rotation.
Yesterday:
VP: Any tapes?
Me: No.
VP: *practically storms off and I can hear his raised voice through his door about getting then in the mail TODAY*
VP: *comes back to my desk* You should be getting his tape tomorrow.
Me: Tape, singular?
VP: That's what he said.
Me: You might need to tell him he needs to buy more, because two tapes is bad practice.
VP: Tell me about it. Let's wait and see what the SecAudit team says when I tell them all this.
Today:
Me: *emails the VP, the desktop admin, and my counterpart* Yeah we got the tape (yes, singular) and I will be taking it off-site tonight.
Desktop Admin: I need it back, I sent you the one I needed last night...
*boggle*
I just hit a new low last night. Customer called in wanting the security group to 'take websites off her computer'. This wasn't an ISP issue at all. She had two websites she had subscriptions to and wanted them to stop billing her. Mind you she only got to our team after talking to a 'qualified' internet repair tech. If I had the ability to burninate people over the phone I could probably take care of the global overpopulation problem in a few days.
------------------------------------------
I *AM* the Chinpokomon master!
Our CEO if that's what you'd call him mailed me a ZIP file today and told me to archive it. Sent it to my boss as well. Mission accomplished already...
Nevermind every user having network drives on daily backup. If you want to archive something, just put it there. Yes, he's well aware of that I reckon.
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
Our one notebook that's used for presentations and stuff, which is barely 18 months old, got one of the two (2) USB ports ripped out or pushed in after less than 4 weeks. I suspected someone but wasn't really ever sure he really did it.
Today I watched him destroy the other port... pushed the plug in upside down until the little piece of plastic gave way.
Asshole. He doesn't give a shit, he'll just whine when the external mouse doesn't work. Fucking idiot. I want to punch him in the neck.
Fuckin' a, man.
I've been the defacto support for our programs' installation for two sister offices for years now. Because for some reason the "higher ups" don't want them calling the customer-facing support lines, even though, technically, they're customers of the programs.
Usually, they're very low-key, low-maintenance, and I only would hear from them 2 or 3 times a year.
Except for this past month.
I've been on the phone with the desktop admin for the one office 15 times in 4 days.
I've been playing email and voicemail tag with the lead user of our programs in the other office for two days because one of her users got a new W7/64-bit PC, and she keeps getting errors when printing.
Errors that say "screen print disabled in this application, please ensure print drivers are correctly installed."
Paraphrasing:
Lead User: She's having trouble printing from your program.
Me: What sort of trouble?
LU: Errors that say "screen print disabled."
Me: I've seen that once before, where a printer wasn't installed, and to fix it we had to install printer drivers.
LU: She has a printer installed.
Me: If it's installed, go into Devices & Printers, and just make sure that it's set to the default printer. Also make sure she can print from other programs.
LU: She can print from other programs, and it's the default printer. Call her and fix it.
Now, I didn't set up the PC, and it's really not my job to set up her PC, but since I have built their desktops in the past, okay, we'll play ball.
Me: *remote control of computer*
Me: *tries to print from app*
Me: *no print dialog at all*
Me: *tries to print from outlook, gets error, Printing could not be completed as spooled, error communicating with printer.*
Me: Well, it looks like you have a problem with your printer.
User: But it printed yesterday.
Me: These errors are telling me it didn't.
Then I look into D&P and see a Xerox Workstation set up, so I check properties on it, and find out that even though the printer is "installed" there's no driver language version, no communication port assigned, nothing. I don't know why Windows is even reporting that it's installed.
User: Oh, Xerox? I don't know why that's installed, we don't usually use that for printing. We're supposed to use the HP 4015 on the network instead.
I go back into properties, look at the list of TCP ports, and find the IP for the 4015 printer. Since it's the 4015, and The Company mandates the 4015 be the primary HP printer this hardware cycle, I know exactly what to do. I pull up an Explorer window, run out to my server, drop the W7/64 PCL5 drivers on her desktop, and install it.
Then the user says "So what was the problem?"
...
Somehow I stayed diplomatic and said "The printer you need to use wasn't installed, and now you're good to go."
U: What about the Xerox?
Me: You said you don't print from it, right?
U: Right.
Me: Then don't worry about it.
And this was before 8:30am.
Coworker from a different department is having problems accessing a certain company-created internal educational website.
She decides to call their Web Support, and I'm only hearing half of the conversation, but I feel bad for this tech person:
Coworker: Yeah, hi, I'm having trouble accessing your website.
C: My name is Mary Smith.
C: Well, I'm an employee of Company.
C: No, I'm in the Tax Group.
C: Do you have an entry under Alice Bingham-Johnson?
C: No, well, my name is Alice is my middle name, which for some reason Company decided to enter me into the computer systems as, and Bingham-Johnson was my married name, but now I'm divorced, but my first name is Mary and last name is Smith. They never changed my information.
C: No, I'm logging in with MSmith
C: No, I created using MSmith
C: Yes, MSmith should be listed as MSmith
C: No, I don't know why they didn't change my information
C: What do you mean the two accounts don't exist with any combination of those names?
C: Well you'll just have to recreate them, because I paid for this course under MSmith, got a receipt, and now that I've actually scheduled time to take this course...
C: No, it would be under MSmith
... *bangs head on desk*
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