Reply With QuoteSo tell the switch it has cancer. I hear that will depress anyone.
fuck me... I actually fixed a server with Duct Tape...
Power switch has gone bad on an IBM server, the thing only stays running as long as the switch is depressed.
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
So tell the switch it has cancer. I hear that will depress anyone.
Maybe I just need to take away it's Cymbalta.So tell the switch it has cancer. I hear that will depress anyone.
I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.
Customer: I'm getting this weird print preview problem
Me: We can't duplicate it with your dataset and your fax wasn't labeled. I want to remotely view the problem. *sets up a remote support session*
Customer: The website's asking me for "name." Is it your name or mine?
Me: ... Yours, please...
Reminds me of the exchange in Star Trek 4.
"Let's start from the top. Name."
"My name?"
"No, my name."
"I do not know your name!"
User just got a new W7 PC, so she has two keyboards, mice, and monitors side-by-side on her desk.
She emails me from her old computer.
"Come see me."
Ugh.
So I go by her desk and she says "Every time I try to scroll on a webpage on my new computer, the letters get bigger and smaller and the page doesn't move.
She had her original keyboard laying on the edge of the new one, holding down the CTRL key.
One of my users is VERY remote - he lives in Arizona, and we're in NJ.
A new laptop was ordered for him since the one we sent him down there with is on its last legs.
He plays phone tag with me this morning, or rather, tried to - he called me no less than 8 times without leaving a voicemail or emailing me that he needed to talk to me.
This is how it played out when I finally got to talk to him:
User: I'm trying to find out if the new laptop has a wireless card
Me: Yes
User: Does the old laptop?
Me: Yes.
User: Cause I'm trying to find out if I need to buy a new wireless card.
Me: No.
User: I need you to tell me what wireless card I need.
Me: You don't need one.
User: Well I'm trying to connect the old laptop, the new laptop, and my existing desktop to the internet, and need a new wireless card for the new laptop.
Me: The new laptop comes with wireless built in. If you are already using wireless on the old laptop (which he should be, I helped him with that ~4 years ago) and using the internet normally and not-wireless on the desktop, you do not need a new wireless card for the new laptop. It is built in.
User: But I need to get a new wireless card to handle the new laptop.
So it went on for a good ten minutes like this until I discovered he was actually trying to find out if he needed a new ROUTER to support the new laptop.
I don't even remember, 5 minutes later, how I hit upon the point that he was trying to ask about a router.
But he already has one. Sigh.
The website's been on a rollercoaster again today.
Shortly after lunch, I discovered that one of the pages' error messages included the site, FTP, and MySQL login information.
I email the development manager that this is a Bad Thing(TM).
He replies, "Why? We need that info."
WTF still doesn't cover it.
I saw that happen on an Apache web server once, the script server had died and the web server had the fucking login info for the script server posted for all to see.
LOLOriginally Posted by Mileron
Please tell me that is only on the Intranet pages and not your public internet site for the company, or that is just asking for someone to go in there and fuck around.
I guess the dev manager has not heard of say keeping that info on a piece of paper in his wallet or a note on his blackberry(by emailing himself) rather than on the website.
Today we sail
On the Solar Rail
For there's much we just don't know
So farewell with a kiss
Then it's fast for the mist
Till we're sleeping in the cold below
Christ. Hard-coding credentials? Fucking rookie move.
We've been having non-stop phone problems since a huge, untested change was rolled out this weekend to go live on Monday.
At first, we had awesome functionality where we didn't get bothered by the system every time we wanted to take a leak or log out...
Then we discovered none of the built-in phonebooks worked
And all of the custom personal phonebooks got wiped without them telling us they would
So then after they fixed that yesterday, our phone switches went on the fritz to the point where every 20 seconds our phones would reboot, causing any active calls to be dropped, and any active network connections on the PCs that are daisychained via the phones be lost.
So I just bounced the fuckers, warnings from India and Netops Central be damned.
And whaddya know, they worked for a while.
Then today we start having transfer problems. When transferring, users are getting a voice message, "We are experiencing system problems, we apologize for the inconvenience but please try your call again later."
(Also, I was talking to a customer and the system automatically tried to transfer the call)
But with the primary error, I was instructed to call the Help Desk because I'm not the only one getting it.
Me: Hi, we're getting this error
Tech from India: Really?
Me: Yes, it's preventing us from transferring.
Tech: Why is it preventing you from transferring?
Me: Because the error keeps repeating and the call will not connect.
Tech: Why will it not connect?
Me: ...
Finally he decides "hey this is a problem" and sets up a trouble ticket...
Holy Frankenfuck.
Whose head is on a platter over THAT?
For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.
likely some low level IT guy who did the actual rollout, but not the supervisor or manager who ordered him to against the team's suggestions that it needed more testing.
Today we sail
On the Solar Rail
For there's much we just don't know
So farewell with a kiss
Then it's fast for the mist
Till we're sleeping in the cold below
No one's head will be rolling. I'm sure no one will even see this as a negative blip on their yearly self-assessment.
This probably doesn't count enough to be a major fuckup, as (supposedly) only one tiny office was affected and then only for 4-6 hours.
Ironically, it was supposed to go live 3 weeks ago, but "in testing" they discovered "a major functionality hiccup", whatever that means, so pushed it back to yesterday.
Obviously without fixing the "major functionality hiccup".
For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.
Actually, I heard third-hand that it was because originally, the update was ignoring area codes and dialing all local numbers.
now that is quite the bug, considering that some areas require the area code just to call across the street.
(OT to tech support ranting, why do company phone systems require one to dial 9911 in an emergency? more of a question is why is the software that drives many PBX systems not smart enough to always know that 911 is emergency and not ask for the extra 9)
Today we sail
On the Solar Rail
For there's much we just don't know
So farewell with a kiss
Then it's fast for the mist
Till we're sleeping in the cold below
Funnily enough, when we did our E911-over-VOIP testing last month I was given the option to decide between the two.
I picked both, since they could configure both, but when I emailed about the successful tests I indicated that the double-nine was preferred, as it wouldn't go into a "timeout" period and wait for further button presses, as we have a number of people with in-office extensions that start with 911...
Yeah I asked about that, and they won't change that.
/me sings
oh-one-one-eight-nineninenine-eight-eight-one-nine-nine-nineoneonenine-seven-two-fiiiiive......three.
For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.
I know that one! Funny show
Soka
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