Tales from Techsupport

[valas]

It boggles my mind on how 80% of my support calls are from the same 20% of the users. I have the same users call me practically everyday for the last 10 years. My most frustrating one is the woman who forwards me her emails every time she gets a PDF attachment and asks me to print it because she can't open it when I showed her yesterday and the day before that and the day before that and the day before that how to open them herself.

[Mileron]

User call: When I print this report, 95% of the tax forms come out as completely blank sheets of paper. Certain continuation schedules (which are ascii-generated) print fine.
Me: Let me talk to your tech.
Tech: What's wrong?
Me: Explains. I need you to reinstall the app.

They call back 45 minutes later. Problem's still happening.
Tech: I removed the user's shortcut and recreated it.
Me: Um... (I said to REINSTALL) You need to reinstall the application from the website to replace what sounds like broken form files.
Tech: Okay, I'll uninstall...
Me: NO. Just reinstall. Do not remove anything.
Tech: I'll call back if there's problems...

Now, I wish I could share the last 2 years of calls with this guy. We've provided him with documentation, screenshots, we've remoted into his environment and repaired multiple nested installs including finding missing client data... We've done everything short of sending a tech to his office to fix his setup, but the problem is, he's clueless and doesn't do what we tell him.

So in between these two calls, one of our App support ladies "loses" her phone app setup info. I go over to her desk, and basically all she needs to do is reinsert her phone credentials.
They're printed RIGHT ON THE PHONE. She can't find them. (wtf.)

And a cooling unit in our server room decided to solidly frost over, causing the fan to seize and the temps to crest 80 degrees. I shut it down, defrosted it, and sent yet another round of pictures - 3 seizes in 7 weeks - to the office VP... but nothing'll happen because the last 11 times the HVAC group was out here to fix it, all they do is charge the freon and won't repair "a microscopic hole in the coolant line."

And this was all between 7:45 and 10:30.

[IamTired]

User call: When I print this report, 95% of the tax forms come out as completely blank sheets of paper. Certain continuation schedules (which are ascii-generated) print fine.
Me: Let me talk to your tech.
Tech: What's wrong?
Me: Explains. I need you to reinstall the app.

They call back 45 minutes later. Problem's still happening.
Tech: I removed the user's shortcut and recreated it.
Me: Um... (I said to REINSTALL) You need to reinstall the application from the website to replace what sounds like broken form files.
Tech: Okay, I'll uninstall...
Me: NO. Just reinstall. Do not remove anything.
Tech: I'll call back if there's problems...

Now, I wish I could share the last 2 years of calls with this guy. We've provided him with documentation, screenshots, we've remoted into his environment and repaired multiple nested installs including finding missing client data... We've done everything short of sending a tech to his office to fix his setup, but the problem is, he's clueless and doesn't do what we tell him.

So in between these two calls, one of our App support ladies "loses" her phone app setup info. I go over to her desk, and basically all she needs to do is reinsert her phone credentials.
They're printed RIGHT ON THE PHONE. She can't find them. (wtf.)

And a cooling unit in our server room decided to solidly frost over, causing the fan to seize and the temps to crest 80 degrees. I shut it down, defrosted it, and sent yet another round of pictures - 3 seizes in 7 weeks - to the office VP... but nothing'll happen because the last 11 times the HVAC group was out here to fix it, all they do is charge the freon and won't repair "a microscopic hole in the coolant line."

And this was all between 7:45 and 10:30.

Damn..that sucks.....sounds like one of those days. I had a tech employed here that was just like the one you described. Literally had A-Z troubleshooting steps with snag it captures and all yet he somehow would still not be able to resolve issues simply because he didn't refer back to the archives where pretty much all these issues were logged and resolved with A-Z CLEAR AS DAY notes. wow.

I'm literally sitting here staring at my screen blown away by the latest request thrown my way via the ceo.

One of those "I already told you why we can't (insert latest request here) because you guys always want to take the cheap way out BUT want a space shuttle built anyway!" deals.

You guys ever get to the point where you understand your position and role in the I.T. world....meaning you know people aren't too savvy with technology...etc...yet someway, somehow, no matter what your past, experiences, titles...etc that there are just some places (this is that place) that are simply a lost cause?

I'm just rambling now. May the LORD be with me though, for I applied for an opportunity just recently where I'd cry if I got offered the role. Literally I'd cry tears of joy.

I just feel my time here is up guys. Time to bigger and better

[Eremius]

Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed...

Im guessing the knock client will give us static ips?

Knock man page (for the uninformed)

[Filthy]

[QUOTE=Eremius;1612409]Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed...

Im guessing the knock client will give us static ips?
[/client]Are you sure he didn't mean NOC (usually pronounced like knock)? It's not any smarter since there is no NOC client, but at least the NOC would be the people in charge of handing out IP addresses.

Knock man page (for the uninformed)

[Eremius]

Are you sure he didn't mean NOC (usually pronounced like knock)? It's not any smarter since there is no NOC client, but at least the NOC would be the people in charge of handing out IP addresses.

Very sure as we are discussing FTP access.

[Alikat Astrae]

I'm literally sitting here staring at my screen blown away by the latest request thrown my way via the ceo.

One of those "I already told you why we can't (insert latest request here) because you guys always want to take the cheap way out BUT want a space shuttle built anyway!" deals.

You guys ever get to the point where you understand your position and role in the I.T. world....meaning you know people aren't too savvy with technology...etc...yet someway, somehow, no matter what your past, experiences, titles...etc that there are just some places (this is that place) that are simply a lost cause?

People who can't even read their own email without having someone print it out on paper for them are always certain that they know better about how the technical side of things works than you're giving them credit for, and are sure that you're just being obstructive when you tell them that they're insane and that they should come back with their stupid requests when we have phasers and transporters.

You know, calling someone who can't work his own phone and who, while having the best computer in the company, has never used it for anything other than web surfing, STUPID like that under your breath is SO HURTFUL. It makes those guys feel stupid. Even if they just imagined you saying it through those clenched teeth of yours, Mister Smarty Brainiac Who Can Set His Own Tivo!

[Alikat Astrae]

This message has been deleted by Grindel.
Reason
Eremius asked me to in a PM

MOD ABUSE!

[valas]

Today, PDF user called me a genius. She called me because she turned on "Track Changes" in Excel yesterday and today all her changes are gone. Hours and hours of work.

Me: Do you see next to where it says Track Changes.

PDF User: yes.

Me: ok, change it from Original version to Final Version.

PDF User: OMG you are a genius.

Who says IT workers don't get recognition? :\

[Alikat Astrae]

Don't you wish they could all be that easy and rewarding?

[Advent]

I had a co-worker in training put an IT ticket in for the following...

Asked them to install the new version of a shipping software off a cd. Went about doing some other things to come back to the person questioning why the cd wasn't working. Well... they put the cd in the computer. Literally. Right between the disc drive and the case. Thought it was like an in dash cd system for a car. ~.~

The IT folks never bothered to close the ticket, every now and again I go back and look at it for a laugh. ^^

[Dawlin]

they put the cd in the computer. Literally. Right between the disc drive and the case. Thought it was like an in dash cd system for a car. ~.~

I had a user that mashed a 3,5" disc halfway into a 5 1/4" drive - ruining the drive and the disc in the process. I asked him, politely if he didn't think something was wrong since he had to use so much force to get it in there. He didn't.

You REALLY have to smash a disc to get it that far in

[Mileron]

Well... they put the cd in the computer. Literally. Right between the disc drive and the case. Thought it was like an in dash cd system for a car. ~.~

Had a user who regularly would use her PC as a footstool... And she broke the CD tray, trying to install some training material, so when the tray snapped off, she threw it out, and popped off the bay cover below it, thinking there was another CD drive "hidden there" (her: "well the door folds down on the one on top, why wouldn't the bottom one too?" me: what bottom one? her: "the bottom CD"...) and she put a CD in there, which just fell inside and rested inside the empty drive bay...

[Sehra]

I once bumped my head on someone's open CD drive at a LAN party. Thankfully I didn't break it, but there were a couple tense moments of panic.

[Mdar]

I had a co-worker in training put an IT ticket in for the following...

Asked them to install the new version of a shipping software off a cd. Went about doing some other things to come back to the person questioning why the cd wasn't working. Well... they put the cd in the computer. Literally. Right between the disc drive and the case. Thought it was like an in dash cd system for a car. ~.~

The IT folks never bothered to close the ticket, every now and again I go back and look at it for a laugh. ^^

I had a couple customers do that with a lap top they wanted to return. The CD had gotten wedged between the drive and the laptop, all the way in there. Using a screw driver I was able to take it out. Keep in mind, I work at a retail outlet and computer repair is not one of our services.

[Alikat Astrae]

I once bumped my head on someone's open CD drive at a LAN party. Thankfully I didn't break it, but there were a couple tense moments of panic.

From the relative positioning of your head and the CD tray, it sounds suspiciously like a LAN ORGY!

[Sehra]

From the relative positioning of your head and the CD tray, it sounds suspiciously like a LAN ORGY!

It's true: I give good ethernet cable.

[Alikat Astrae]

Recommendation: Once you've inserted the connector, leave it connected for a little while before you go unplugging it again!

[Merrick ap'Milandra]

Recommendation: Once you've inserted the connector, leave it connected for a little while before you go unplugging it again!

[Eremius]

In fact all servers seem to have this problem now.. Dreamweaver cant connect to any of the servers now. Something must have changed at <your company>

Ok, so none of your FTP accounts are working, on any of your servers. Definitely seems likely that each of them is having *exactly* the same problem instead of the problem being with the one commonality they have, you. Yep, very likely.

So I changed ftp time out setting from 2 seconds to 20 seconds and now it seems to work. Thats weird.

Yeah, it's really fucking weird that giving an ftp site more than TWO FUCKING SECONDS to connect from Holland to Miami MIGHT help the situation.