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#101
Elder Arcanist
Re: The one liners thread!
Maybe the hands behind Fyre Festival should each have been holding a Pepsi
Sent from my 1+3t
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#102
Elder Arcanist
Re: The one liners thread!
Possession of ferrets in California is a crime.
I think they should be legalized for medicinal use.
I would advocate for their possession for recreational purposes, but I find the idea of playing with my food appalling.
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#103
Elder Arcanist
Re: The one liners thread!
I'm getting upset about the rage with the paleo diet.
Real cavemen have tapeworms.
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#104
Elder Arcanist
Re: The one liners thread!
When I was 3, i asked my mom for a sister.
She told me that my mom and dad didn't do that anymore.
When I was 9, i found a copy of Penthouse variations dated May 1985!
That's bullshit! They didn't stop!
They did it at least for another year after that conversation!
And no, i didn't tell my mom that i found her stash! The Internet was not going to be invented for another 5 or 6 years!
Sent from my 1+3t
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#105
Elder Arcanist
Re: The one liners thread!
No one ever comes back from war and says "i acquired both my legs."
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#106
Elder Arcanist
Re: The one liners thread!
I feel like calling Marijuana a gateway drug is a crock of shit.
It took LSD for me to go traveling through dimensional doorways.
Sent from my 1+3t
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#107
Elder Arcanist
Re: The one liners thread!
I'm a botanist now. I should have gone to Plant Parenthood earlier.
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#108
Chair warmer, Sector 7G
Re: The one liners thread!
You scratch my back, and I'll scratch an itchy back off my list.
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#109
El Diablo Blanco
Re: The one liners thread!
Got some good one liners in here.
A short fortune teller who escapes from prison is considered a small medium at large.
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#110
Elder Arcanist
Re: The one liners thread!
It's always wise to know where the shitter is before you start eating at the buffet.
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#111
Elder Arcanist
Re: The one liners thread!
If orange is the new black, then why is Donald Trump not in prison?
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#112
Elder Arcanist
Re: The one liners thread!
I wonder if the inventor of the fleshlight received a whispered message from a ghost like kevin costner in field of dreams.
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#113
Elder Arcanist
Re: The one liners thread!
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#114
Elder Arcanist
Re: The one liners thread!
"hey google. Please send me search results for a Volvo with a rebuilt tranny."
Google:"i do not want to understand that search request."
....
"hey Google. Please send my Samsung tablet search results for a Volvo with a rebuilt tranny."
.... *lights*.....
Google: "i hope this is what you were looking for on your Samsung tablet."
..... "oh dear God."
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