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Thread: Tales from Techsupport

  1. #1861
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Customer: I'm getting an error when I access my data
    Me: That error is usually preceded by a different error, did it come up?
    Customer: No, but some other error occurred when I opened the program. I just click OK through it. Is it important?

  2. #1862

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Seems like the right place to link this. A good reason why computers should not be allowed to operate unchecked. What seems odd is no other management could halt it.

    The man who was fired by a machine http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-44561838
    "When you name your baby Jeeves...you've pretty much set up his career for life. You don't see many Hit Men, for example, named Jeeves. "Pardon me sir, but I must wack you now."
    — Jerry Seinfeld

  3. #1863

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Mileron View Post
    Customer: I'm getting an error when I access my data
    Me: That error is usually preceded by a different error, did it come up?
    Customer: No, but some other error occurred when I opened the program. I just click OK through it. Is it important?
    I fucking love this bull shit. This is like people who drive with the engine light on, to me.

  4. #1864

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris View Post
    I fucking love this bull shit. This is like people who drive with the engine light on, to me.
    I had a friend do the CEL thing for awhile, But it was only the gas cap?
    "When you name your baby Jeeves...you've pretty much set up his career for life. You don't see many Hit Men, for example, named Jeeves. "Pardon me sir, but I must wack you now."
    — Jerry Seinfeld

  5. #1865

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Ha did not mean a question mark damn mobile
    "When you name your baby Jeeves...you've pretty much set up his career for life. You don't see many Hit Men, for example, named Jeeves. "Pardon me sir, but I must wack you now."
    — Jerry Seinfeld

  6. #1866
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Coworker: Hello Mileron. Can you set me up for (product A) and (product B) software? I spoke to (manager's manager) and he stated I should have the application.
    Me: The emails I sent two weeks ago with the (product B) information have everything you need to get to the website and install the software.
    Coworker: Okay, thanks!
    Me: However for (product A) it's best if you talk to (other rep). While I can help you with the basic installs, she's really the guru and is better equipped for the full shpiel.
    Coworker: Okay, cool
    Coworker an hour later: Mileron, I do not see the email
    Me: Two emails, (product B) System Training, 6/6
    Coworker: Oh okay, will they contact me?
    Me: I forwarded two emails with a buttload (technical term) of documents to you
    Coworker: Okay cool I have all afternoon
    Me: On 6/6
    Coworker: Really

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  7. #1867
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Customer: I'm not in front of my computer, and I can't tell you exactly what's wrong, but let's try to figure it out anyway

  8. #1868
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Mileron View Post
    Customer: I'm not in front of my computer, and I can't tell you exactly what's wrong, but let's try to figure it out anyway
    I love those . Again back to the car analogy
    Customer: my car is not working
    Mechanic: let's take a look, where is your car? at home.

    I've had people ask me to help then with computer problems while they were driving(you can hear traffic noises car accelerating /decelerating.
    or Well I'm at such and such place my computer is at home. fix it
    Me : WTH?
    Greed is for amateurs. Chaos, disorder, anarchy...now that's FUN!

    Kirin Tor:
    Toccke- Archmage of Gnomeregan (retired)
    Shlemm-Rogue of grand mischief(retired)
    Dorra - High Priestest of Iron Forge (RIP)

  9. #1869
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker View Post
    Seems like the right place to link this. A good reason why computers should not be allowed to operate unchecked. What seems odd is no other management could halt it.

    The man who was fired by a machine http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-44561838
    Actually I was half fired from my last job.
    Company A acquired Company B. I was with Company A first.
    They gave us a manager for company B so we could access there systems( no authority over us) a year later Manager B terminated me in the system. I got locked out of the building during my lunch break. And lost all access to company B resources. I still had company A resources and my Direct manager was not amused I had been "terminated" without her permission.

    Took me 4 weeks to get back my access to company B. Fortunately Most of our systems had been integrated enough (or I was able to ask people to do things)I was able to fake assistance with callers from company B.
    Greed is for amateurs. Chaos, disorder, anarchy...now that's FUN!

    Kirin Tor:
    Toccke- Archmage of Gnomeregan (retired)
    Shlemm-Rogue of grand mischief(retired)
    Dorra - High Priestest of Iron Forge (RIP)

  10. #1870
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Coworker#1: I need help with this issue
    Me: I'm on a scheduled call
    Coworker#1: Okay, I'll grab Coworker#2
    Coworker#2: How could you do this to me?
    Three hours later
    Coworker#1: We don't know why this won't work, so we recorded the remote troubleshooting
    Me: reviews the recording. I notice in the first 10 seconds that the program folder structure is missing some important files - the database engine DLLs
    Me: calls the Tech who starts rehashing the whole thing Actually, I viewed your recording, and I could see pretty quickly that the folder structure was incomplete
    Tech: Incomplete how?
    Me: All of the necessary database engine DLLs are missing. They're dated 2007. Did you recently update Antivirus or Antimalware and see that they removed DLLs unexpectedly?
    Tech: No
    Tech: Wait
    Tech: Did you say 2007?
    Me: Yes
    Tech: I have a script that runs on my server that moves files older than 7 years out to a special repository to allow data storage to not get stale
    Me: And that includes DLL files, executables, and all?
    Tech: Why wouldn't it?


    Me: Well, that script broke this program. You need to reinstall the programs and exempt this folder structure from that script.
    Tech: But what if I run low on hard drive space?
    Me: My DLLs are 2.3MB total for the three files. While they happen to exist in 3 different places due to being required by three different executables, if you're worried about that 7MB causing problems, then there might be some other file cleanup that might be necessary. In any case, please exclude this folder from your script.
    Tech: But what if I run low on hard drive space?

    Where's my Pakled when I need him?
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  11. #1871
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    My last employer and current have me work with internal employee support.

    This is a common call for me from both places:

    User: My account keep getting locked out!.
    Me: *starts to clear saved passwords*
    User: Don't you dare delete my saved passwords!
    Me: That what is causing your lockouts sir/ma'm. The technical user agreement you signed, stated you would not save passwords to your computer; therefore we wipe all saved passwords.
    User: Can't you leave my password alone? <insert favored location here>
    Me: Not if you don't want to experience repeat lockouts.
    Me: the choice is yours......
    Greed is for amateurs. Chaos, disorder, anarchy...now that's FUN!

    Kirin Tor:
    Toccke- Archmage of Gnomeregan (retired)
    Shlemm-Rogue of grand mischief(retired)
    Dorra - High Priestest of Iron Forge (RIP)

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