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Thread: Tales from Techsupport

  1. #1661
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Tech: So I installed your software
    Me: Okay
    Tech: Got it running and licenses squared away and all and it was working fine for me
    Me: Okay (Where's the "gotcha")
    Tech: And I realized before I made it available to my users that I didn't want to cause any problems with any existing data that they might have
    Me: Okay
    Tech: So I (paraphrased from ten minutes of description and remote demonstration) frankensteined your install and shoehorned it into the way I wanted it to look so as not to endanger the data for other years
    Me: ... I'm sorry, you did what?
    Tech: Yeah, now the program doesn't work.

    I can't imagine why

  2. #1662
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Words and numbers are starting to not have meaning.

    I just stared at an email address for a solid fifteen to twenty seconds thinking, "damn, someone really misspelled that phone number."

  3. #1663
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Customer: How do I print a PDF?
    Me: Is it that you want to print a PDF out to paper, or that you want to turn a document on screen into a PDF?
    Customer: I have a PDF, how do I print it?
    Me: ... Open the PDF, then go to file - Print
    Customer: No no, that's not right at all

  4. #1664
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Dumb it down even more: "See the little picture of the floppy disc? Click that!"

  5. #1665
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    So when my counterpart retired at the beginning of March, he left me with a metric fuckton of "not my problem anymore". I've cleaned up almost all of it.

    One customer though, he'd been having deferred server transitions since October, because their environment is just that fucked up. And since March, I've had this big red mark on my calendar saying "Migration, 4/22, 8am to 12pm". I told them in advance, "With the programs you've got, and the data present, you've got a few gigs of data at least, so allow a few hours to copy." I got brushed off.

    So I've been logged in since 5am, doing the last minute stuff I need to do to allow that all to happen.

    At 7:40, I get an email saying "The file copy hasn't completed. We'll email you when we're ready."

    They finally call me at 9:10.

    C1: Well, the robocopy finished.
    Me: Okay
    C2: Except we're seeing the two primary data folders listing zero files
    Me: Well... then the robocopy didn't finish
    C2: Our resource says it did
    C1: I told you that the file sizes looked wrong
    Me: How so?
    C1: The new folder structure, when compared to the old one, is missing 30% of its file count
    Me: Yeah, that's a pretty big "not finished" in my mind

    So we spend the next 45 minutes going back and forth, via chat, with the "resource" that they've got, who keeps saying "we used robocopy". When I asked for the syntax of the command used, they refused to share it.

    WTF. Seriously?

    So now I "get" to wait until noon, and then I "might" get next Saturday scheduled away from me.

  6. #1666
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    That feeling when you foresee every single problem a customer is going to have, provide every single step to resolve them in advance, and they call you anyway.
    For each. and every. single. one.
    Separately.


  7. #1667
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Note to self: If a brand new, out of the box hard drive gives "virtual disk management error: cyclic redundancy check failed" while trying basic file system initialization, do not waste time trying it on two additional computers and a USB SATA bridge.

    Just box the fucker up and take it back.

  8. #1668
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Tech: When my users are running the program, they're getting errors "cannot write to INI file"
    Me: Are their permissions correct?
    Tech: Yes
    Me: When did this start?
    Tech: Today
    Me: Did anything change?
    Tech: No

    Do a remote session, and trying to directly edit said INI file and save it prompts a "Save As" window, which tells me something's going on with permissions or read only attributes. Except, the folder and its contents are not read only, and the tech claims there's nothing wrong with the permissions. We can create a brand new text file with no issues, and edit it, and delete it. But editing any other file inside those folders - any INI, Doc, RTF, etc - that was in the folder before the call can simply not be edited. Always prompts "save as".

    Me: This is typically due to a permissions change or a read-only attribute being set somehow. You're going to have to have the permissions on your server backend checked because, even though your security window here shows it's correct, you as the admin are unable to edit these files either. I'm not going to take the information it displays at face value. Please have this more deeply examined from the server level and let us know if you have any questions.

    5 days go by (including a weekend), and my manager's hounding me to close the ticket. I email the guy.

    Me: Hi, please update me on the status, were you able to discover anything or rectify the problem with the users' inability to use the programs whereby they were getting "unable to write to INI file" upon opening the program?
    Tech: What do we need to rectify on our end?


    ....

  9. #1669
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    IT Administrator Account keeps getting locked out, like, every two minutes.

    Boss hands me the ticket and says "This has been going on for a really long time. Fix it".

    Okay, fine. First thing I do is load up Netwrix Account Lockout Examiner (Great tool, btw).

    Huh, it says "FreeRDP" is locking the account.

    Me: "Hey boss, something's hammering that server on the RDP port from the WAN."

    Boss: "That's impossible, besides, how would it get that account name, we created that specifically for ourselves."

    Me: "Well, yeah, I guess, but..."

    Boss: "Keep looking. Elsewhere."

    Unwilling to give up on what I'm already absolutely certain is the correct answer, I disobey my boss and place a phone call.

    Me: "Hey network guy, are they forwarding port 3389 to the domain controller?"

    NG: "No! Don't be ridiculous. Why would anyone do THAT?!? It's just asking for trouble."

    Me: Hrm... "Well, would you be kind enough to check the rules anyway, PLEEEEEASE?"

    NG: "Harumph, Yeah, fine. Rule. Rule. Rule. Rule. Rule. Rule. Rule. Nope, no rule set for 3389."

    Me: "Okay, I guess it has to be coming from inside the network somewhere, I'll start digging around."

    I guess if it was INSIDE the network, it WOULD explain how something had the account name of our extremely unique technician account.

    I dig through event logs and find nothing.

    I do a netstat -ano > netstat.txt.

    Wow. Look at that! An external WAN IP hammering 3389.

    *Call up Network Guy*

    Me: "Is the firewall actually blocking ANYTHING or is it wide open? Because I'm seeing traffic from an address in Flint, Michigan hammering the snot out of ONLY THE DOMAIN CONTROLLER on 3389."

    NG: "I *told* you, the only forwarding rules here are for *piece of software* on this port, a rule for *piece of software* on this port, a rule for Allow* on ports 1025 - 5000, a rule for..."

    Me: "But nothing for 3389?"

    NG: "That's what I said."

    Me: "Umm, okay, could you repeat that last one from right before I interrupted you, please?"

    NG: "Fine. It's a rule for Allow All on ports 1025 through fiv...e...t..h..o..u..s..a..SHIT."

    Me: "And it's forwarding to..."

    Unison: "...the domain controller's IP."

    Me: "And we need 4,075 WAN ports forwarded directly to the PDC because....?

    NG: "We don't."

    Me: "Right, can we ditch that, please?"

    NG: "...yeah. I'm on it."

    Me: "Thanks, man."

    OH LOOK, THE ACCOUNT LOCKOUTS STOPPED!



    To be fair, we inherited this client when they fired their IT guy and decided to go with managed services, but apparently nobody double-checked things during the onboarding process.
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  10. #1670
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Did you run a whois on the Flint domain? Then zoom in on sector 4-B and enhance?

  11. #1671
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae View Post
    Did you run a whois on the Flint domain? Then zoom in on sector 4-B and enhance?
    Do you need a tray table for your couch position while you watch criminal minds, miss alikat?

    The chicken pot pie is almost due to come out of the oven.

    :P
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  12. #1672
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    This place is sooOOoOoOoOoOoOo fucked up with regards to any level of standardization.

    "grown organically" is code for "never fixed our broken shit" and want to expand more because "money" (due to non-technical people running the company) and as a result we'll never fix things.

    I love the people I work with, but I have a serious task ahead of me with regards to gently presenting things we could do that would change the paradigm.

    IF ANYONE EVER SAYS "IT IS WHAT IT IS" AGAIN IN MY FACE, I"M GOING TO START BREAKING THE LANGUAGE POLICY AT MASSIVE VOLUME.

    WAY TO SURRENDER TO INERTIA YOU DICKBAG BENCHRIDERS!

    PROOF
    OF
    CONCEPT

    It's not hard.

    You diagram out savings in man-hours and benefits in features and....


    OH MY MOTHERFUCKING GASP

    PARDON ME WHILE I FAINT AS THOUGH I WERE WEARING A WHALEBONE CORSET CINCHED TOO TIGHTLY!!! PROACTIVE WORK SAVES MAN-HOURS!!!!!

    YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE SAVES MAN HOURS AND TICKETING NUMBERS?

    ONBOARDING ASSAYS.

    ACTUALLY RESEARCHING THE ENVIRONMENT AS A WHOLE BEFORE SIGNING A GODDAMNED MRR CONTRACT.

    I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH --

    ================================================== ==========================================
    ANYONE WHO IS SHOPPING FOR A NEW PROVIDER IS ALREADY FUCKED BEYOND RECOGNITION BY THEIR EXISTING/OLD ONE
    ================================================== ==========================================

    I *LOVE* the fact that I get to experience all kinds of configurations while working for a manged services provider, but the massive inability to organize, whether it's 212 (the final degree!) Traction, and any other level of shit where people claim that excellence is motivational while it's actually asymptoptic pisses me right the fuck off.

    Sales people build companies, but they need to listen to technical resources.

    The entitled-ass shorts-wearing fair-weather golf enthusiasts taking off at noon on a thursday for tee time need five across the fucking eyes.
    For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
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  13. #1673
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Did any of you have to deal with this today?

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-39907965

  14. #1674
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra View Post
    Do you need a tray table for your couch position while you watch criminal minds, miss alikat?

    The chicken pot pie is almost due to come out of the oven.

    :P
    All sciencing must be done rapidly and to a hard-driving techno song. Otherwise you wind up with a monster every time.

  15. #1675
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Customer: When I print out my tax reports in just such a way, I get constant error messages
    Me: What do you mean by "just such a way" ?
    Customer: You know. A way
    Me: No, I'm afraid I don't I'm opening the app to see what she means
    Customer: One by one
    Me: I'm sorry?
    Customer: sighs expansively as if I'm a fucktard I start at the top, select the first report, and print it. Then I go back and print the second one. And I keep going until I get an error. And then I have to close the program, reopen it, and pick up where I left off.
    Me: What's the error message?
    Customer: Something something print options memory space something.
    Me: I recognize it. When printing, the program prepares a bunch of "temporary" calculated files for purposes of printing. The error happens when trying to print too many times from the same initial "print attempt". Each additional report generated appends the temp files and sometimes they just get massive. It's not intended to be used like this and I only run into it once a year.
    Me: May I make a suggestion?
    Customer: If you tell me the same thing the last bitch did, I'm gonna hang up on you.
    Me: I'm not sure to whom it was you spoke, but we don't have any of those staffing our phones. Additionally, I don't know what anyone might have told you, because there's no prior ticket based on this particular question. In any case, have you tried using "Select All Reports" ?
    Customer: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU ARE THE FOURTH PERSON WHO TOLD ME TO DO THAT!! I HATE THE WAY THAT IT LOOKS WHEN I PRINT THEM ALL TOGETHER. I HATE HAVING TO FLIP THROUGH THE PAGES TO SORT THEM. IT IS A WASTE OF MY FUCKING TIME!!
    Customer: slamclick


  16. #1676
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Or he could just wait until the first print job for the first report is finished before starting the second one.

  17. #1677

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    And customers wonder why CS people hate them.

    They get told there is a way to do it without a problem but it HAS to be their way.

    Well at least fire does not have tech support otherwise you would get "Why is this fire so hot I want cooler fire"
    "When you name your baby Jeeves...you've pretty much set up his career for life. You don't see many Hit Men, for example, named Jeeves. "Pardon me sir, but I must wack you now."
    — Jerry Seinfeld

  18. #1678

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Mondays.

    "The landscapers will charge us too much to cut this apart. "

    Fuckin A

    Sent from my 1+3t

  19. #1679

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    An hour later

    Sent from my 1+3t

  20. #1680

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    on a side note, Holy shit those are narrow parking spots. I mean sure its an Econoline but really those are narrow as hell spots, an Impala would be a tight fit.

    Thing is if that van is damaged the company that owns the complex could be in a heap of shit with the van owner's insurance. If they find out the bean counters denied a request for tree trimming you can bet the car insurance will go after the complex's property insurance.
    "When you name your baby Jeeves...you've pretty much set up his career for life. You don't see many Hit Men, for example, named Jeeves. "Pardon me sir, but I must wack you now."
    — Jerry Seinfeld

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