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Thread: Tales from Techsupport

  1. #1761

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    The D refuses to pop back up after being manipulated.

    The O refuses to respond no matter how many times it is fingered or otherwise triggered.

  2. #1762
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    I'd start to worry that maybe the A was getting seriously worn out in this motherfucker.

  3. #1763
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae View Post
    I'd start to worry that maybe the A was getting seriously worn out in this motherfucker.
    The computer was built with sub-standard A holes. They start loosing their grooves after a couple screws. You should tell IT to upgrade them to B holes.
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    I *AM* the Chinpokomon master!

  4. #1764
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Coworker: I'm trying to update my software
    Me: Okay
    Coworker: I'm not sure it updated successfully
    Me: Okay
    Coworker: Could it be because I had the program open when trying to update?
    Me: Absolutely

  5. #1765
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Three weeks ago had a major phone system software upgrade.
    Yesterday had all sorts of problems where, mid-day, dozens of people were randomly kicked out of their software and couldn't get back in for hours.
    The engineers started saying "You can't use your desktop shortcut to access the program, you need to use the Start - Programs - Program Folder - App Shortcut, otherwise the program malfunctions"

    That has to be one of the single dumbest fucking things I've heard this quarter.

  6. #1766

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    uh.... the start method is just a shortcut to the same exe.

    I smell engineers deflecting their own fuckup.
    "When you name your baby Jeeves...you've pretty much set up his career for life. You don't see many Hit Men, for example, named Jeeves. "Pardon me sir, but I must wack you now."
    — Jerry Seinfeld

  7. #1767
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Mileron View Post
    Three weeks ago had a major phone system software upgrade.
    Yesterday had all sorts of problems where, mid-day, dozens of people were randomly kicked out of their software and couldn't get back in for hours.
    The engineers started saying "You can't use your desktop shortcut to access the program, you need to use the Start - Programs - Program Folder - App Shortcut, otherwise the program malfunctions"

    That has to be one of the single dumbest fucking things I've heard this quarter.
    Quote Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker View Post
    uh.... the start method is just a shortcut to the same exe.

    I smell engineers deflecting their own fuckup.
    The only thing I can think of is that the Start shortcut has a command line argument on it that customises something that isn't replicated in the (current) desktop shortcut. Get one of the affected users to create a new shortcut (by right clicking the Start menu one and Send to Desktop (create shortcut))

  8. #1768
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Woodja View Post
    The only thing I can think of is that the Start shortcut has a command line argument on it that customises something that isn't replicated in the (current) desktop shortcut. Get one of the affected users to create a new shortcut (by right clicking the Start menu one and Send to Desktop (create shortcut))
    Good thought, but not the case.

  9. #1769
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Actual ticket:
    Quote Originally Posted by ticket
    Had a client unable to locate the ~ (tilde) key .

    Issue: “ "~1C4sFR4" and will expire in two hours

    I was just given this temporary password so I can access (website). However, I have 2 questions: I assume that I don't need to include the " " but I also have no way to input the first character, cannot locate that key. Need a different password. “

  10. #1770

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Two things, The Tilde has been in the same place since like typewriters.

    Second if its a website there is a good chance they can highlight PW minus the quotes and just copypasta.
    "When you name your baby Jeeves...you've pretty much set up his career for life. You don't see many Hit Men, for example, named Jeeves. "Pardon me sir, but I must wack you now."
    — Jerry Seinfeld

  11. #1771
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Me: Hi, thank you for calling Systems Support, this is Mileron, may I get your account number please?
    Customer: I'm driving right now. My only question is what are your hours today?
    Me: Sure thing ma'am, we close at 3pm today in observance of the holiday, and are closed until Monday.
    Customer: Great, now for my actual question...

  12. #1772
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Me: Would you happen to have hardware requirements for this install (cpu, mem, disks)? If you have a configuration guide as well, specifically covering how you would like partitions configured (swap, root, boot, etc.).
    Vendor: Eremius, I attached a rough document for physical boxes we send and virtual minimum requirements.
    Me: What about server install guidelines?
    Vendor: 4 virtual processors, 16 gigs of ram, 300 Gigs of hard drive space
    Me: ...

  13. #1773
    Poof make squid!
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Eremius View Post
    Me: Would you happen to have hardware requirements for this install (cpu, mem, disks)? If you have a configuration guide as well, specifically covering how you would like partitions configured (swap, root, boot, etc.).
    Vendor: Eremius, I attached a rough document for physical boxes we send and virtual minimum requirements.
    Me: What about server install guidelines?
    Vendor: 4 virtual processors, 16 gigs of ram, 300 Gigs of hard drive space
    Me: ...
    That had better be hosting a full-on non-express version of SQL for at least 20 users.
    For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
    http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
    Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.

  14. #1774
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    They're not getting that much.

    It's actually for pharmacy order fill software.

  15. #1775
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    So this one's a doozy.

    One of our Incompetant techs retired Friday (the "Webmaster" I've complained about previously).

    Friday was her last day. We had a party, gave her some cake, took her keys, disabled her windows accounts...

    She showed up for work this morning. Our "insane" paranoid schizophrenic tech saw her at the door. and She Said "oh, I had some stuff to finish up, the boss said it was OK if I came in and worked".

    (The boss is out for medical leave recovering from surgery).

    The Insane tech says "Oh hey, your accounts are disabled, let me just turn those back on for you.".

    "Well she said the Boss said it was OK? So I figured it was OK!".



    and that's why I drink. A lot...
    I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.

  16. #1776

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    And that is how data breaches happen.
    "When you name your baby Jeeves...you've pretty much set up his career for life. You don't see many Hit Men, for example, named Jeeves. "Pardon me sir, but I must wack you now."
    — Jerry Seinfeld

  17. #1777
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Melcar View Post
    "Well she said the Boss said it was OK? So I figured it was OK!".
    Holy shit.
    For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
    http://sam.zoy.org/wtfpl/
    Noone should sue or be sued ambiguously.

  18. #1778
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    That tech needs to be fired.
    'This world may be another planet's hell.'{Aldous Huxley}
    'After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.'{Aldous Huxley}

  19. #1779
    Mr. Angsty Spice
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    That tech needs to be fired.
    Yes; My boss feels bad for the guy because of his mental illness - so he probably won't. I'd have fired this guy a LONG time ago. This guy is clearly schizophrenic.

    He has passed phone calls to me, because "he heard a click on the line and thought he was being recorded, so he could be setup". He complained to other staff that my boss went behind him after he fixed something to break it again just so he'd look bad so he could fire him.
    I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.

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