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Thread: Tales from Techsupport

  1. #1721
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Mileron View Post
    Tech: One of our tax returns has no data
    Me: When you open the return is there an error?
    Tech: No
    Me: Could you send me a zipped copy of the dataset folder?
    Tech: No, but I can send you the error we get when opening it
    Quote Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris View Post
    At least they did you the favor of contradiction only after one sentence.
    You would think.

    Follow up call:

    Tech: So what you're telling me is that without you seeing a copy of the return, you can't tell me whether or not the data exists
    Me: Correct. You say that all of the numeric lines are coming up blank. That's impossible. There should at least be zeroes. You say there are no errors. But there must be, because the only time I personally have seen blank numeric lines in the nearly thirteen years I've been supporting this product has been proceeded by at least two, if not three, error messages. And I've described each of them to you. So this can go one of two ways. You can restore the folder of missing data from your last known good backup, which you yourself have discovered is from late March, or you can ask your user to begin re-entering data.
    Tech: It's too hard to find the backup. I'll tell her she needs to start over.


  2. #1722
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Client: {Vendor} told us that in order to send 1,000 e-mails a day, we need a GoDaddy Office365 Outlook Exchange and it's asking us about privacy before we purchase it.

    Me: *wince* A what, now?

    Client: a GoDaddy Office365 Outlook Exchange.

    Me: *twitch* Uhh. You have an on-premises Exchange server. You don't need to buy anything from GoDaddy. We can just set up a relay.

    Client: Then why did they tell us we need a GoDaddy Office365 Outlook Exchange?

    Me: *Silently praying that they'll stop using those words like that* They just didn't know what your setup is. Don't worry, we'll get this taken care of for you.

    I really don't want to know if the vendor used that level of word salad or if the client came up with it, but I just about had an aneurysm.
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  3. #1723
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Mileron View Post
    Tech: It's too hard to find the backup. I'll tell her she needs to start over.
    Hopefully they're not paying that "tech" very much.

  4. #1724
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae View Post
    Hopefully they're not paying that "tech" very much.
    The next day I got an email from her.

    Tech: I've decided to look for the backup, because apparently they've deleted a bunch of additional needed information related to this program but unrelated to my original query.
    Me: If they needed it, why did they delete it?
    Tech: Due to mismanagement of their data, they had created multiple copies of some of the information, didn't know which was which, and apparently deleted the wrong folders.

    So... yeah. More people pitched a fit. Funny how she folded after a fire was lit under her ass.

  5. #1725

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    having to look for a backup also shows bad tech management.

    Shouldn't backups be something that is known where they are?

    Now admittedly finding which one has the last known good might be a challenge but that could be as simple as asking users when was the last time everything worked normal. I just hope its more of looking through the files of a backup provider and not a milk crate of backup tapes kept over by the air conditioner.
    "When you name your baby Jeeves...you've pretty much set up his career for life. You don't see many Hit Men, for example, named Jeeves. "Pardon me sir, but I must wack you now."
    — Jerry Seinfeld

  6. #1726
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker View Post
    having to look for a backup also shows bad tech management.
    This. So much this.
    You should always know WHERE your backups are.
    Rolling them out to be accessible should also be part of a plan.

    Sadly, that is not the case in some organizations. But it should always be abundantly clear which backup is the correct one.
    "Silver bullet solutions are rare, silver bullet sales commonplace"

  7. #1727
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker View Post
    having to look for a backup also shows bad tech management.

    Shouldn't backups be something that is known where they are?

    Now admittedly finding which one has the last known good might be a challenge but that could be as simple as asking users when was the last time everything worked normal. I just hope its more of looking through the files of a backup provider and not a milk crate of backup tapes kept over by the air conditioner.
    I'm in charge of backups and restores, and it sure as hell doesn't take much time at all to pull a file from the backup. This tech (maybe the company?) wasn't very good.
    'This world may be another planet's hell.'{Aldous Huxley}
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  8. #1728
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    So once again a company I work for uses both ConnectWise and the Continuum NOC (formerly Zenith, formerly something else because lawsuits)

    Connectwise, as a ticketing system, has some faults, but it integrates well with continuum. They're the providers of all sorts of shit.

    You pay them a few hundred bucks per server and a few dozen bucks per workstation and they will MONITOR ALERTS FOR YOU and with ticketing system integration (that's connectwise in this case) THEY WILL CREATE TICKETS FOR ALL ALERTS.

    Disk space, accounts, sql databases running out of room for log files, FAILING HARDWARE LIKE PSU's AND RAID ARRAYS, Backups failing, continuum pretty much alerts on everything by default, and they even call you for the slightest anything based on how you set up alerts per customer, per window, and per event.

    Cue coworker as I was leading a meeting about how we're not utilizing what we're paying for because nobody knows how to do this:

    "I always put continuum tickets at the bottom of my priority list. I don't care how urgent they say it is, I can just go on site two weeks later for a failure. The only thing I care about is what the client is yelling about."

    So I said to him, in nicer terms:, THE CLIENT WOULDN'T YELL AT YOU OR REQUIRE AN ON-SITE IF WE DID PROACTIVE WORK BY ADDRESSING THE ALERTS AS THEY COME IN.

    He said "That's lower priority than dealing with client emegencies"

    I said: "if you worked on the proactive side of things there WOULDN'T BE CLIENT EMERGENCIES."

    Sudden deflection "well, noone else does that, so why should I?

    Response from multiple people above my pay grade and he still held to "well, I'm not doing that. That
    's not how it works" while everyone else is doing it that way.

    FUCK YOU!

    PROACTIVE WORK DECREASES TICKET COUNT AND MAKES PEOPLE HAPPIER.

    I want to take everyone who hangs towards reactive work as the only option out to lunch, and then trip them so they fall into traffic.
    For copyright purposes, all of my posts are covered under the "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"
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  9. #1729

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    what that tech is saying is like someone at NORAD going "I put the nuclear launch warnings at the bottom, We can just second strike them anyway"
    "When you name your baby Jeeves...you've pretty much set up his career for life. You don't see many Hit Men, for example, named Jeeves. "Pardon me sir, but I must wack you now."
    — Jerry Seinfeld

  10. #1730
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    If your boss is aware that your coworker is creating problems that cost your department time and money and is cool with it, then let it go. Your coworker is now a convenient scapegoat for anything that rolls downhill.
    ------------------------------------------
    I *AM* the Chinpokomon master!

  11. #1731
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Since early June, I've been trying to get a permanent telecommuting setup going. All I needed was a box and a phone. Got the box; needed the phone configured.

    I submitted tickets. By the end of July, I'd had four tickets.

    Each one had been answered. An email would get sent to me. The contents would read, "Please send information for phone to be configured." I'd send the model number, serial number, MAC address of the phone.

    The ticket would be marked as resolved.

    Phone still wouldn't work.

    Last Monday, I opened a fifth ticket. I include my office number, my home number, my cell number, my working hours (8am to 5pm Eastern) my home hours (7 to 10pm Eastern).
    It wasn't addressed (as in, acted upon) until after 5pm Eastern - I leave at 5pm - and the next morning I see an email, timestamped 2:54AM.

    Ticket: Due to lack of response, this ticket has been closed

    Oh fuck no

    I call the Help Desk. I tell the guy to reopen the ticket because HEH LOOOO, my working hours are right there in the ticket, and closing the ticket 5 hours before I even get into the office is inexcusable.

    I reply to the last request - send us the model number, serial number, and MAC address of the phone. I get through the day and still... nothing.

    I get back in the next day and again, the ticket is closed.



    I reopen the ticket again.

    123 is the working phone.
    456 is the phone that needs to duplicate its settings.

    I hear nothing until this Monday.

    Ticket: Please provide requested information.

    Neither the email nor the ticket state what information is requested.

    So I re-add all of the same information (lazily copy-pasted from all the previous entries) and submit it.

    Today - two full days later - I get an IM from the guy.

    Tech: I have a bit of confusion, could you please tell me what needs to be done to your request?


  12. #1732
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Help me Help me Help me;

    My screen is all blue!

    Is that what they call the Blue Screen of Death?

    "Huh? OK, well, what's the error code".

    There's no error code.

    "ah, OK, so the screen is just a solid blue? No writing or anything on it?"

    Well, it's not solid, the computer still works, it's just Blue!

    "OH! Ok, well, that sounds like a problem with your monitor-- The Blue Screen of death would halt the computer and give an error code. I'll come check it out"

    "Your monitor cable is loose....."
    I've got beer to drink and You guys are wasting my time.

  13. #1733

    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    In tier 1 support that would have to be worded like this

    Support "Does the TV on your computer have any wired connected to the box that says Dell on the front"

    Yes you have to say TV because monitor confuses users.
    "When you name your baby Jeeves...you've pretty much set up his career for life. You don't see many Hit Men, for example, named Jeeves. "Pardon me sir, but I must wack you now."
    — Jerry Seinfeld

  14. #1734
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Customer: Alright so now it's asking me for my password
    Me: Please type that in and hit Login
    Customer: What's my password?
    Me: It's your password sir, I'm not supposed to know it
    Customer: Well if that's not the fucking stupidest thing I've ever heard.

    ...
    You're telling me?

  15. #1735
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    Re: Tales from Techsupport

    Quote Originally Posted by Mileron View Post
    Customer: Alright so now it's asking me for my password
    Me: Please type that in and hit Login
    Customer: What's my password?
    Me: It's your password sir, I'm not supposed to know it
    Customer: Well if that's not the fucking stupidest thing I've ever heard.

    ...
    You're telling me?
    Wow, that is one for the ages!
    'This world may be another planet's hell.'{Aldous Huxley}
    'After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.'{Aldous Huxley}

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