Things Delicia may not do in /gu anymore.

by Delicia.

I was recintly placed on guild probation for being me. The following is a list of things I have been told, at one time or another, that I may not do in /GU


Things Delicia may not do in /gu anymore.

I must stop telling n00bies that I'm really a GM on my day off.

I may not /ignore my chain of command.

I must not collect "Union dues" from n00bies.

If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am
to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

Crucifixes do not ward off officers, and I should not test that.

I am not in need of a "+9 dmg against Guild officers sword".

There is no such thing as a "lag reduction necklace" and I shouldn't try to
sell them to new members.

My Leader is not old enough to have fought in the orc war, and I should stop
implying that he did.

Must not mock command decisions in front of n00bies.

Never, ever, attempt to correct Miane about anything, even if he wants to
Lay the dragons.

I cannot trade my officers to the Orcs.

'I'm drunk' is a bad answer to any question posed by my guild leader.

The following words and phrases may not be used by me in /gu: Bed snail,
mound mower, batteries, happy toy, necrophilia, 'wiggling my finger as fast
as I can', tingling nippys, Cyber slut, Lesbian mating ritual, Tuna,
Lubrication, Queen of the Bed.

/gu is not a forum to voice my ideas.

/gu is not to be used to replace the radio.

I am not authorized to sell loot rights.

I am not deliciously saucy.

I will no longer perform 'lap-dances' while in /gu.

The revolution is not now.

Being on Guild Probation does not entitle me to be spanked.

There is no such thing as a were-virgin.

We do not 'charge into battle, naked, like the Celts'.

Must answer an officer with "Yes Sir" or "No Sir", not with "Hang on, I'm
playing Gems"

"The voices in my head told me too" is not an excuse.

My body may be a temple, but I may not tell people to come inside for a
religious experience.

I am not allowed to sing "99 bottles of beer" all the way through in /gu
ever again.

I must not flaunt my deviances in front of my officers.

Not allowed to lead a 'Coup' during raids.

Not allowed to get killed.

May not call any officers immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if they
are a rogue.

Must never ask an officer if they've been smoking guk weed.

Must not tell any officer that I am smarter than they are, especially if
it's true.

Not allowed to sell "Rare spawn locating rods" to n00bies.

Not allowed to attempt to appeal to one's baser instincts in recruiting
players.

I am not authorized to fire officers.

I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a
command decision.

Not allowed to trade guild bank equipment for 'magic beans'.

I may not feed my Guild leader to Megadon.

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sorry =(
who is Delicia?

I don't know. I just thought the whole thing was funny.

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

Didn't Godzilla kill Megadon, though?

eh?

I may have to add some of these to my Guild's Charter! :laughing:

Would not mind reading the guild chats leading to this, if someone can find it. :D

>Must answer an officer with "Yes Sir" or "No Sir", not with "Hang on, I'm playing Gems"

Well, we know what class she plays at least :laughing:

Yeah, ya damned wizards.

*ducks and hides*

You know your in a good guild when you can name five different females that could use most of the above rules :laughing:.

>Yeah, ya damned wizards.

Can't be wizards, they never ask us questions. Usually just say something inane like 'Burn' at the end, as if we were slacking the whole fight.. heh

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Can't be wizards, they never ask us questions. Usually just say something inane like 'Burn' at the end, as if we were slacking the whole fight.. heh

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Yeah, that one is funny as hell.

But my favorite by FAR is getting multiple requests from people throughout the raid to please stop PUSHING The mob with my nukes, and I am casting FIRE nukes...

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Hi, PUSH comes from melee, kicking, pets, and procs. You id10t's. :)

ROFL, how deliciously... ME! Well, now I know that I am truly appreciated as I have done half or more of the things she listed and am still in my guild... of course, no one may have been paying attention... :laughing:

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Yeah, that one is funny as hell.

But my favorite by FAR is getting multiple requests from people throughout the raid to please stop PUSHING The mob with my nukes, and I am casting FIRE nukes...

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hehe yeah i find it always surprizing. Why everyone asume that wizard is the one who create push on raids :confused:

i was grouped in cod once with the server ubers when they were slumming on their alts and got told that one lysandor. yeah ubah_alt_74, my draught of ro is really pushing that rat around so you can't backstab. /boggle

:laughing: I know some poeple who do some of these....

sounds like my guild chat

caster spells actually create push, my guild tested it once in fire, we had all our casters face one way and the melees face at a right angle. (this was on a pheonix and i got told to run caster push) the mob actally moved faster in the direction the casters faced than the melee direction.

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Originally posted by Quelian Spyralshot
caster spells actually create push, my guild tested it once in fire, we had all our casters face one way and the melees face at a right angle. (this was on a pheonix and i got told to run caster push) the mob actally moved faster in the direction the casters faced than the melee direction.

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If you had enchanters in your group of casters they would be the reason for the push, all enchanter nukes have a pushback of 1. A few wizard nukes do have a pushback, but they are lower level and never used but for the specific purpose of moving a mob. Unless the player's and idiot anyway.

mage nukes have a .5 push, wizard spells do not move mobs, you can test this by taking a loc from a player, duelling, and then casting our arsenal of non pushing nukes on it, and taking hte loc again.

Cleric stuns have MASSIVE push. ;)

Not that I've ever played the old, "If you won't position the damned mob, THEN I WILL!" game with my spells, or anything.

*wishes for a Halo or angel icon*

I may not use public masturbation as a tool to demonstrate a flaw in a command decision.

The following words and phrases may not be used by me in /gu: bed snail, mound mower, batteries, happy toy, necrophilia, 'wiggling my finger as fast as I can', tingling nippys, Cyber slut, Lesbian mating ritual, Tuna, Lubrication, Queen of the Bed.

i thought those were strange things for amris to say. ;)

I think Severine admitted to them though.

yeah but sev is fun like that. :)

Very interesting list :)

A classic and worth quite a few chuckles. Thanks!

A wonderfully funny list inspired by Skippy.

Based on Skippy's List but still funny all the same. :)

I have no idea where it originally came from, I cross posted it from elsewhere.

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My Leader is not old enough to have fought in the orc war, and I should stop implying that he did.

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Hehe, great one that I may have to bring up in guild chat soon.

Okay, now that I'm drying my eyes after reading Skippy's list...damn, that was hilarious.

LOL I knew a guy named Skippy who joined the army ... he was from Texas, and rather weird, but man I really hope this list wasn't inspired by him. :laughing:

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Originally posted by Qaman
I think Severine admitted to them though.

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Senator, I have no recollection of those events. And, on further advice from counsel I will say no more in the danger of incriminating myself.

I catagorically deny the whole incident.

>Senator, I have no recollection of those events. And, on further advice from counsel I will say no more in the danger of incriminating myself.

I'm sorry, but you are under oath and you either confess or we sentence you to... The Comfy Chair!

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Originally posted by Qaman
I'm sorry, but you are under oath and you either confess or we sentence you to... The Comfy Chair!

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Can i get the soft pillows to go with?

>Can i get the soft pillows to go with?

I guess so, if it will make you confess faster!

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Originally posted by Dephton
mage nukes have a .5 push, wizard spells do not move mobs, you can test this by taking a loc from a player, duelling, and then casting our arsenal of non pushing nukes on it, and taking hte loc again.

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Yes, test this and you will find that normal mage nukes do not push either...

I guess they suspect Wizards of Pushing because if we really want to, we can.

My collegues are looking funey again, must be the chuckling.

:laughing: great fun.

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Originally posted by Amris
Cleric stuns have MASSIVE push. ;)

Not that I've ever played the old, "If you won't position the damned mob, THEN I WILL!" game with my spells, or anything.

*wishes for a Halo or angel icon*

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I have :) My guild is notorious for pushing mobs. Worst case was when we sent a named wyvern in NToV all the way up to the cealing... (we had killed Aary, and were clearing the yard trash)

I actually used Thunderstrike in Ssra insignia room, when the melees had pushed a snake from one corner to the next, and clerics and casters had to move to stay within range...

It's also usefull to interrupt CH and gate, or prevent mobs from falling over the edge...

Don't use it on Cazic Thule in Fear though... I accidently hit the Thunderstrike gem due to the graphics lag, just as CT stood in the doorway at 99%... it wasn't resisted, CT got knocked inside, and I died... (he had 2 stupid belts, not even worth dying for...)

That was good for a long laugh.