9.9/10
I'd give you the last tenth if she called you then questioned your identity.
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9.9/10
I'd give you the last tenth if she called you then questioned your identity.
Of course it is! It's how I fixed my home computer last week!!!!Quote:
downloading random DLL repair apps is a safe method of troubleshooting
On 12/21, I submitted an escalation to repair a data file that needed to be exported.
This is unique for four reasons:
1 - The file being exported isn't supposed to be, based on its return type and its year, but because of extenuating tax circumstances (aren't they always) the customer needed it to be exported
2 - I got the same exact error when attempting the export, and usually I don't
3 - I wrote the book on the errors and their fixes (even though I didn't write the export app)
4 - I didn't find out until after submitting the escalation that the developer who did in fact write the app went on vacation until the new year.
The customer called on 1/2 requesting an update - but the developer hadn't come back into the office yet. At this point, my manager is getting antsy and starts branching out to other devs trying to find who can dig through this issue to resolve the problem.
On 1/8 (yesterday) the developer logs onto his computer long enough before I sign out for the day to send me a message that basically says "I got the escalation, I'll look at it". Then he signed out.
This morning I log in to find an email with the exported file with the sole answer of "It worked for me", so I send it off to the customer with an apology for the delay and think nothing more of it.
I get an IM from the Product Manager...
PM: That escalation was resolved
Me: I saw, I sent the resulting file to the customer
PM: Did the dev say what he did to fix it?
Me: No. But I don't have three weeks to wait for a response, so I just sent it over with an apology for the delay.
PM: Send me a copy of the file to examine.
Me: does so
PM: Turns out I get the same error as you
Me: Yeah, weird
PM: fifteen minutes later So the developer tells me he had to rebuild the export EXE to handle new data tables present in the primary tax app from which the export pulls from
Me: So why didn't he say that, instead of responding that he exported with no issue? I could have sent the customer a "cover our butts" kind of response, notwithstanding that he was on vacation for three weeks
PM: That makes too much sense
:wtf::banghead:
Me in December 2017: Never ever ever give access to our users through the default administrative shares on windows. Because if YOU do; You have given them full control over the computer; You have either elevated their privileges to Admin or you have allowed them to masquerade as "one of us IT staff". They can use that connection to piggy back to the server and Connect ANYWAY THEY WANT. They can create their own admin users at that point if you do that. They can format the C: drive, they can do anything.
Tech2 to me: Hey, why can this user delete files in this location?
Me: Remember that thing a month ago I said never to do? Yeah, you did it.
Me: On the left, you'll find (description 1). On the right, you'll find (description 2).
Customer: I HAVE A DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITY AND I FIND YOUR USE OF LATERAL DIRECTIONS INSULTING
:wtf:
What the actual fuck.
Response: I HAVE A DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITY! DEALING WITH MORON FUCKING CUSTOMERS TRIGGERS ME AND MAKES ME STAB THEM IN THE FUCKING THROAT!Quote:
Customer: I HAVE A DEVELOPMENTAL DISABILITY AND I FIND YOUR USE OF LATERAL DIRECTIONS INSULTING
Newbie Tech takes a phone message for Schizo Tech...(Names/Departments randomized)
"Bob from the Accounting department called for you about program xxxxxx"
Schizo Tech: "Bob doesn't work in Accounting, Bob works in Marketing".
Newbie "Well it was Bob from Accounting"
Schizo "Bob Johnson is in Marketing".
Newbie "Ok, but Bob from accounting...."
Schizo "Bob is in Marketing!!!!"
Me: In our organization of 250+ people we have more then 1 Bob, Yes, Bob Johnson is in Marketing. Bob Smith who called for you is in Accounting."
So I haven't had a car since right after Thanksgiving. Which works out, since I kind of don't have to drive right now.
I've been using my wife's car when I need to, taking her to work and such.
Sunday (yesterday) and today, I needed to be up at 4am to take her to work.
Last night, she popped some melatonin to help her sleep earlier so she could get at least 7 hours. I was already tired enough to be in bed and sleepy by 9:30 because I'd been up since 4am.
At 9:59, my phone rang - just seconds before my automatic timer would have muted the ringer. Needless to say, it woke us both up. In a panic - because who would call us at 9:59pm on a Sunday night - I answered it and hear a voice I really didn't want to.
It was one of my problem users.
PU: Mileron, It's PU#1, is it too late?
Me: meanwhile I'm walking out of the bedroom to my office Yes, and I need to be up at 4am, but I'm already up, what's up?
PU: I can let you go
Me: I'm already up. What. Do. You. Need.
PU: I don't know if you know this but Friday was my last day
Me: Okay...
PU: I've been requested to send my computer hardware back
Me: Okay... did you get a box or a shipping label yet?
PU: No...
Me: So why are you calling me at 10pm on a Sunday?
PU: I got an email that I need to send it back
Me: But they didn't send a box or a shipping label yet.
PU: No. I wanted to take the computer apart so that I can have it ready.
Me: And you needed to do this at 10pm on a Sunday?
PU: I wanted to do it while I still had access to my email
Me: You know if we take your computer apart, you won't anymore
PU: dead silence
Me: You didn't think of that
PU: Well, no, it never occurred to me
Me: Did you print out or write down the address to which you need to ship it?
PU: Yes, it's -
Me: I don't care. Start unplugging things.
PU: What about the speakers?
Me: Those are yours
PU: Oh, yeah. Right. What about this box with 440 on it?
Me: exhausted Send me a picture
PU: took him 8 minutes to send me a no-flash-picture And do I need to send back the surge protector too?
Me: That box is the power pack for the laptop dock. No, you don't need to send back the surge protector.
PU: Why not?
Me: It's twelve years old and they will just throw it out.
PU: Why would I want it then?
Me: Do you have a surge protector?
PU: No
Me: Do you need one?
PU: No
Me: Toss it.
PU: What about...
Me: Just be quiet and listen to me. Spent the next fifteen minutes walking him through totally tearing down the monitor, dock, and laptop connections. Put the laptop in the carrying bag. Put as much stuff in the bag with it as will fit. Don't make it too bulky. When you get the box and label, pack it as good as you can - wrap the monitor in bubble wrap - and send it.
PU: So... all I have left is the surge protector.
Me: Throw it out.
PU: Do you need it?
Me: Dude. Throw. It. Out.
PU: starts to make small talk
Me: Look, man, I'm sorry to see you go, but I need to get up in less than six hours. You've got my number. Give me a jingle sometime soon.
As you can see, it's been a few months since I posted this one. I'd been going back and forth a couple times a month with a rep from the email support group but had mostly petered off as they prepped for Office 2016 rollout. I even got a new computer at the beginning of December, and finally had had it with my inability to send emails in my habitual way - it puts a real crimp in my workflow.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
So I sent an email to my prior manager.
Me: I'm having this email problem with Mailbox 1. But I have no problems with Mailbox 2. The problem manifests this way too with Mailbox 3 that I occasionally use but is more in your domain right now... any thoughts?
Prior Manager: Oh, I think there's some special settings on Mailbox 3 ... you might want to have the Help Desk or person you're corresponding with compare the problematic mailboxes to one that works.
Me: I'd suggested that, but I'll try again
So I send an email back to the email contact.
Me: Look, I can send emails from Mailbox2, but not Mailbox 1 or 3. What's different from Mailbox 1 and 3 that otherwise allows me to use Mailbox 2?
EmailRep: I will research
It took a few days but I finally get back
ER: It seems Mailboxes 1 and 3 are "hidden". Should I unhide them?
Me: :wtf: No, only unhide Mailbox 1. Mailbox 3 should remain hidden.
ER: It will take overnight to replicate but you should be fixed in the morning.
Finally works again. FFS. 7 months.
Customer: I installed an update on my file server, and now your program doesn't work. Here's a list of what I installed last week. Can you tell me which one would have broken it?
All of them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
Customer: When I try to install my 2018 software, it tells me I can't, because the 2014 software is present and it's not eligible to be upgraded from, and that I need the 2017 software. What does that mean?
Me: That you have the 2014 software on your computer.
Customer: That's not the case.
Me: Let's examine it.
Me: Okay, here according to this log, back in May of last year, someone installed the 2017 software.
Customer: That would have been me
Me: And the line right after that shows that someone in January of this year installed the 2014 software
Customer: That's not possible
Me: And yet, it was done
Customer: That's not possible
Me: Just the same, we can fix it
Customer: That's not possible
...
In my head I'm thinking to myself, "I don't think that means what you think it means"
Thanks to the suggestion in #1586 the verbiage in the addon install guide was changed.
However, I received two calls today from two very confused tech people.
Basically: "I got this spreadsheet with no instructions."
Turns out the rep who sent the spreadsheet over to them had no idea there's now an autopopulate template based on the original instructions.
It didn't help that one was a ticket I'd originally opened, the tech refused to provide his email address, and was intending to process the install "naturally" through IE.
So I send her a message.
Me: The spreadsheet you sent for tickets (xxx) and (xxy) isn't nearly enough information for a tech person to complete the steps necessary to manually install the addons. There's now a template email with the full PDF that includes all of the necessary instructions.
Coworker: I sent it to them
Me: The XLSX doesn't include the actual instructions though. A lot of the tech people with whom we've been speaking recently don't understand what needs to be done. Instead, there's a template with a full PDF with the instructions necessary.
Coworker: Did the customer reply to the email? Why are you contacting me about this?
Me: You left a comment in one of the tickets, which I own, and I got the notification you'd corresponded with the customer.
Coworker: Yeah, he called. I sent the email. That's all I did.
Me: I recognize you assisted him. Thank you. What I'm saying also is that, just sending that spreadsheet isn't helpful because a lot of the techs that it gets sent to don't understand what to do with it. So more discrete and complete instructions were created in the email template folder.
Coworker: So? I sent him what he needed
Me: The information doesn't include instructions on what to do
Coworker: So? I sent him what he needed
:banghead:
Seriously? You have people that talk like that? That's fucking nuts! I have people who will be ignorant, but I've never gotten a baffoon to say "so? I did what i did." jfc. This is why i left the IT prison in the early aughts.
Tell me when you find that job where you don't have to deal with idiots. I'll drop a resume.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris
I deal with idiots, but thankfully assholes that shit with non chalance are pretty few and far between.
Sent from my 1+3t
Don't attribute to malice that which can easily be explained by ignorance (or stupidity).Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris
No, if they disfigured is accurate, then that is non chalance shithole.
Sent from my 1+3t
*if the dialogueQuote:
Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris
Sent from my 1+3t
Prior to December 2017: Working from home via VPN on an as-needed basis "works" but downloading files takes a fuck long time. 10MB downloads take 10 minutes.
My internet is 250MB Blast from Comcast.
After December 2017: Working from home permanent telecommuter via company-supplied hardware. Downloading files takes a fuck long time. 10MB downloads takes 10 minutes. There's a couple additional wrinkles: #1 - calling certain external numbers (especially teleconference) results in people sounding like chipmunks. #2 - websites take a LONG time to load.
Comparing my primary home computer: Same exact file takes less than 30 seconds.
January 22 2018: I've had it with the inability to download files while on the phone with customers :banghead: , so I open a ticket with the Help Desk and inform my manager.
January 30 2018: At 7:30am I'm at my desk screwing around waiting for the correct time to log in. I see the company hardware box go dark. :wtf: It takes this thing a solid 30 minutes to get back up and running... so I wait.. and wait... and wait..... until finally I'm able to log in. Once everything connects, I see an email stating "issue resolved, ticket closed."
Except the issue's not resolved... but it's too busy for me to call back at the moment. I email my manager and let him know that I'm getting boned while getting boned.
February 12 2018: I decided I couldn't take it (especially since my manager called me out on letting a customer sit on hold while I downloaded an update) and contacted the Help Desk again, reopening my original ticket. She asked why it took me two weeks to reopen; I told her it's my busy season and I can't set aside the time to wait on hold for the Help Desk. She understood. Also, she happened to find a ticket opened by another person elsewhere in the US with nearly identical problems. This is good news because it means I'm not up shit's creek and in a unique position.
March 7th 2018: Receive an email: "Your ticket is on hold due to vendor/network ops interaction"
March 8th 2018: Throughout the course of the day I see a number of phone calls come in on my second line from an obvious not-US number... but due to being on customer calls I'm not able to answer it.
March 9th 2018: I get another one of those calls but this time I'm able to answer it.
Vendor rep: Hello, I am calling to receive an update on the ticket posted hence
Me: Yes, this ticket is attached to another ticket, opened with the same issue, which is still open and under investigation. That's what the last email I received states
VR: The ticket does not say this
Me: Actually, it does. I email him the ticket number, the chain of emails, and a screenshot of the ticket page stating just that
VR: This is not saying what you think it says
Me: It says "refer to ticket 123456, ticket is pending Network IT/Vendor Status"
VR: That ticket is your ticket too
Me: No sir it is not
VR: Is your name not Mileron?
Me: Yes sir, however my last name is not Blahdeblah
VR: It's not?
Me: No sir
VR: Well that's unusual
Me: Okay
VR: So I can close both tickets?
Me: No, I'm still having the issue, and I'm sure the other Mileron is as well
VR: What is the issue?
Me: I read the issue exactly as described in the ticket
VR: I see that in the ticket
Me: That's the issue
VR: Tell me in your own words
Me: getting annoyed It takes me 10-20 times longer to download files than it should, and people on the phone sound like chipmunks
VR: That is funny!
Me: Not anymore, it isn't :mad:
VR: I get you update on ticket in 24 hours
Me: Send me an email, I'm off tomorrow