That's taking the old adage "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" way too farQuote:
Originally Posted by Branaman Starbinder
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That's taking the old adage "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" way too farQuote:
Originally Posted by Branaman Starbinder
http://www.coding2learn.org/blog/201...use-computers/
interesting article
I have come across that, People younger than me who have no clue at all about computers.Quote:
Originally Posted by Branaman Starbinder
As for lawmaking I think to write technology related laws one should be required by law to understand the technology. And of course company policy about technology should be set by people who understand it too and not say HR or the executive board.
It really is interesting. Also explains why I'm still fixing computers for friends with college-age kids living at home.Quote:
Originally Posted by Branaman Starbinder
I suppose if you haven't been diddling computers for at least long enough to know what g=c800:5 means, you probably can't diddle computers now. :D
Awesome blog. Very entertaining, and slightly frightening!Quote:
Originally Posted by Branaman Starbinder
Wow.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae
That really takes me back.
Some days I forget how far we've really come in personal computing, from the days of manually assigning IRQ's, then I get a phone call from one of our field techs who is p2v'ing a client network and they need to figure out what to do about the 16 bit app that uses a serial connection to a proprietary ISA slot card because they can't get it to run on a virtualized 2008 R2 box. >.<
Tell them its time to replace the app.... we are at what? 64bits standard and ISA is long long gone as an expansion slot. I mean hell I see motherboards today without normal PCI slots and all PCI-E.Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
Caller: I need to talk to an IT manager
Me: Which product is this about, sir? There are different managers for different groups
Caller: IBM Flash Storage
Me: Sir, I support Tax software, you have the wrong number
Caller: NO! I was given this number for my Flash Storage, you need to help me!
Me: Sir, are you using Tax software?
Caller: No, I just need an IT manager
Me: Well sir, I support installation of a specific suite of Tax software. Since your question is about hardware that I do not support, then sir, I cannot help you. Would you like me to look up IBM's Flash Storage group for you?
Caller: No, I was given three different numbers, I really need an IT manager, I guess you cannot help me.
Me: Unfortunately no sir, but I hope you do have a good holiday weekend!
Me: My Windows XP laptop won't connect to the internet, but it worked just fine yesterday.
Me-Tech: Reboot.
Me: Did that.
Me-Tech: Ipconfig /release /flushdns /renew
Me: Did that
Me-Tech: What's your DNS?
Me: Google
Me-Tech: Change it to DHCP (which pulls Comcast's, which suck)
Me: Done, same thing. Even re-did ipconfig 1,2,3 and same issue. Rebooted after that too. Same thing.
Me-Tech: Wow, you sound like you've done this before.
Me: A time or two.
Me-Tech: What about proxy?
Me: What about them?
Me-Tech: Turn yours off.
Me: Ain't got one.
Me-Tech: What AV you using?
Me: AVG 9 Free
Me-Tech: Bet it gives you all sorts of trouble
Me: Yes
Me-Tech: Remove it, put on MSE, run a scan, call me in the morning.
Me: Won't scan, because if MSE can't do its post-install update, it doesn't activate.
Me-Tech: Huh. What about other free AV?
Me: That I can't get access to without downloading?
Me-Tech: Uh...
Me: I do have Clamwin on a USB drive. Let's try that.
Me-Tech: YEAH! Good thinking.
Me: Nada.
Me-Tech: Well damn...
Me: I just rebooted
Me-Tech: Okay
Me: And re-did ipconfig 1,2,3
Me-Tech: Okay
Me: And it works now
*beats head on desk* Sometimes, I hate Windows.
Someone just called 911 again from inside my office.
Naturally, the admin assistant brings the cop to ME saying "Oh yeah Mileron can tell you who did it."
This is the 11th? time in not-even-yet-3-months.
No one listened to me when I said "using outside line number 9 is a BAD IDEA"
Let alone "having 4-digit extensions that have 91xx or 911x is a BAD IDEA"
When they start charging us for police visits, I'll do my best to NOT say "Told you so, could have saved you $x"
Screw that, you damn sure should say I TOLD YOU SO, DUMBASSES!Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
One of my coworkers is a real technophobe, to the point where he doesn't have a cell phone, has no cable TV, no internet at home. He drives a late 90s Mustang and refuses to drive it faster than 35 (I weep for that car). He's a real "get off my lawn" old fart.
This is half of a conversation I just overheard.
Tp: So I need you to send me your dataset.
Tp: No, you can send it by email.
Tp: Well, you're in California, and you said it's a big file, right?
Tp: Well given that information I might not get it til tomorrow.
Tp: After all, it has to travel across the whole country, and it's 2800 miles from us to you...
Tp: No, no, I know that email is faster than the Pony Express, but only just!
It was a 3MB zip file..
Step in. Be the supervisor. Make the position of big penis. get paid more.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
1-3 are done regularly. 4 won't happen.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris
Last month, he was bitching at a customer about how he "hates that tech support is never available", that it takes "hours for us to give a callback", that he "shouldn't need to play receptionist for tech" and "I'm so glad I'm retiring in four months".
1 guy was on lunch
1 lady was in the bathroom (not that it matters, she was briefly away from her desk)
3 remaining guys were on calls (including me)
After my call, I went to TP's desk and read him the riot act and told him how unprofessional it was that he say those things to the customer. Who cares if someone's on lunch or in the bathroom? Just say "they're not available, I'll have someone give you a call back."
He starts practically yelling, "I'm getting too old for this shit, I don't have to deal with this shit, I'm retiring in four months" and I said to him, "If you still sit in that seat from 9a to 6p daily, you're going to have to deal with this shit, same as I do."
Then he starts going on about how he "has been doing this for fifteen years" blah blah... So what, I tell him, so have I, I've dealt with tech people who are on the ball, and I've dealt with computer morons who can't tell if the mouse is rightside up, and every level in between. Whether you're fixing a computer, installing programs, or teaching a CPA that it's not a good idea to write off an asset without justification, we all have to deal with these sorts of calls.
He's a lot more mellow now.
User says "Can't send email".
Login to users account, send email to 3 different addresses, receive all 3 emails...
Report back to user - No fault detected...
User then reports "I mean click 'to' button and no addresses show..."
Ok, so you've called your phone company and said "my phone doesn't work, when what you fucking meant was I don't have a fucking phone book". Thanks for wasting my time ass-muncher.
Why do I also get an image of this person calling GE because they cannot make dinner on the stove... They forgot to go grocery shopping....Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
Oh jesus. .... Oh jesus.... incoming youtube vid. (just gotta get the kids quiet... or maybe if they talk it'll be even better).Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
Well one of our users has apparently decided to burn the building down.
In spite of our organization's prohibition on personal space heaters several people run them anyways. Today one person managed to melt the insulation on their laptop's power cord... To bad they didn't succeed. That might have finally put a stop to the practice.
Yeah, we have about 10 of those things around the office, and they let them stay because for whatever reason they just can't get the HVAC system zones correct, which makes certain parts of the building arctic zones and others Hell zones. We try to make sure people at least turn them AWAY from their computers, but I still find them directly facing a computer. A few years ago we had an intern with one and it completely warped the front cover on an older Dell Optiplex PC, we were not happy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
Well the space heaters compound the problem. They'll trip the thermostat which will then either cause no heat, or the chiller to run to attempt to adjust the temp. Thereby screwing everybody else in the zone. That said HVAC zones are never perfect anyways - but should be able to get reasonably close - until some nitwit brings in a heater.Quote:
they let them stay because for whatever reason they just can't get the HVAC system zones correct
Good points. Maybe we will try to get them abolished again before winter.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
Just tell people to wear a sweater!, I mean its not like SoCal gets bone chilling winters that can stick tongues to flag poles.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonlainy
No, but northern CA does get chilly. Not NJ chilly mind you, but nothing near as mild as a So Cal winter.Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
Has the company considered fans? if one side has too much AC and the other too little, That means they are wasting energy... depending on layout(is it walled off offices or cube farm) if its cube farm, I would not be surprised if some well placed fans to create secondary air movement could improve the issue. Main office building problem is that the best fan for the job cannot be hung from drop ceilings. the ceiling fan. to get them into that setup would need more work than i imagine a company wants to spend.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonlainy
Yeah, that sounds like a really poorly-ventilated HVAC system if a few space heaters can screw it up that badly. Unless you place the space heater right under a thermostat, of course. And if the office was heated properly to shirtsleeve temperatures during cold days people would not feel the need to place a space heater under their desks where it might melt their charger cables. Just turn the vent system fans on and turn the thermostat to at least 68 degrees and watch your space heater problems melt away like last year's charger cables!
You'd think that. Doesn't work though. We have people running space heaters when their office temp is 70+Quote:
And if the office was heated properly to shirtsleeve temperatures during cold days people would not feel the need to place a space heater under their desks where it might melt their charger cables. Just turn the vent system fans on and turn the thermostat to at least 68 degrees and watch your space heater problems melt away like last year's charger cables!
which means one technically needs a company wide policy banning space heaters in all normal office spaces.
I state normal as those "sheetrock shack" offices found in warehouses can sometimes be brutal in the winter if its not a very climate controlled warehouse.(and many warehouses are not climate controlled unless what they store is sensitive). And of course if the parking lot is access controlled the dude in the shack should be allowed a heater. But the people in the cubes farms can just dress warmly if needed.
I have always dressed warm for commercial buildings, It is much easier to take the sweatshirt off if its warm than to go in unprepared for ice box AC.
Yeah, we have space heaters on in the middle of the summer, and our summers get a tad warm. The building is old and the HVAC system is old, and the thermostats are in odd locations. I think most who have them now at least know not to aim them directly towards their computers, which is a step in the right direction if nothing else.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
More importantly, make sure you have a paper trail proving that you told them so, so as to cover your ass.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonlainy
Double doozy day.
Training Manager: I'm trying to uninstall Robohelp 8 so that I can install a new version.
Me: What sort of problem are you having?
TM: Every time I choose Uninstall, go through the steps, the line item from Programs & Features disappears, then is back by the time I reopen P&F.
Me: (knowing he reboots once a month) Reboot then try again.
TM: (comes back) Same thing.
Me: (goes to his desk and watches him click the "Repair" option instead of "Remove" in the uninstall wizard) Repairing won't remove it, you need to uninstall it.
TM: But I want to uninstall it!
Me: Right, you chose "Repair" which will basically reinstall it without removing it.
TM: But I want to remove it!
Me: So choose Remove instead.
TM: But I don't want to move it, I want to uninstall it!
Me: Uninstall is the same as remove...
I do some of the system support for two of our sister offices on the East Coast
Boston User: I'm trying to access datasets that NJ User is accessing, but cannot see them
NJU: I'm running the program on my network drive
Me: BU, are you running the program from your network drive?
BU: Of course, how else would I use my program?
Me: And NJU, to clarify, your data is on your NJ server?
BJU: Yes
Me: BU, you won't be able to access NJU data on the NJ server if you're using your program running on the Boston Server
NJU + BU: But why not?
Oop, make that triple.
Tech Guy: It looks like the users installed your program into Dropbox
Me: You can't do that. Dropbox's automatic upload upon file change causes locking programs with our apps.
TG: Well, let me copy the folder out of dropbox and we can set it back up correctly.
Me: Okay
TG: Hmm, it's going to take 90 minutes to copy 2.3GB. Must be because it's downloading it from the internet.
Me: Um, dropbox, when installed, doesn't work that way unless it's a new install and before the folders sync. It's working as a local copy...
TG: No it's not, it's downloading from the internet! 2.3GB on cheap Cable takes a while.
TG: Oh, you have DSL? No wonder...
Me: Still, you're not downloading it...
TG: Yes I AM!
First one sounds like an ESL problem, as in the word "repair" can mean "to go to," as in "Let us repair to the egress." And the word "Remove" might look like it means "to move again," and it definitely does have an alternate definition of "a faraway place," as in "Their words cannot reach us at this remove." But once you've explained what the words actually mean in the Microsoftian context, the dude should shut the fuck up and accept your explanation and try to fucking learn something from you instead of arguing with you.
If you have a trail of paper covering your ass, you really need to be more careful when using the bathroom. Just sayin'.......Quote:
Originally Posted by Zumino Zufeilon
Depends, A lawyer might have a paper trail covering their ass just so they can make sure (in triplicate of course), When they shit, how much they shit, how much toilet paper was used, how many flushes it took to clear the bowl, Amount of soap used to clean hands. I mean someone from the legal department documents everything!Quote:
Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae
This is sort of like tech support, but not.
I had to shut off a boiler, and the cold water inlet to a 3 story building with 28 multi-story apartments in it all tied to the one main/one boiler. I spent Thursday mapping the isolation process for the boiler, and for the cold water from the street. Alot of these places have redundancies so that you can further isolate systems in the boiler/filter/storage/circulation and then replace systems while residents can keep their water as though nothing is being interrupted from their normal service.
Unfortunately, i had to get change out some very outdated stop-valves beneath some bathroom faucets on galvanized MIP, and I really wanted to make sure I didn't mess it up, and things went smoothly.
So the cold water array that I'd been looking at was made mostly of 2inch directly from the shutoff at the street. It came out of the ground, hit a ball valve, went through a pressure regulator, hit another ball valve, and then worked its way up to the building, hit what looked like a Check-valve (and on a 2inch, this check-valve was a gigantic box - I wish I took a picture). and from the check valve it wandered through a circulatory bypass of sorts to another pressure regulator (I imagine as a redundancy in case it or the other one ever fails).
So, feeling confident, my boiler shutoff mapped and marked, I went to work. The ball valves were all stuck to high hell,a nd the last thing i wanted to do was pressure shock the system, so even though they eventually gave way and let me close them, I hit the pressure relief valve over the storage each time. Easy peeazy. Finally, i got the broiler shut down, and hit the kill-switch next to the whole system's breaker just in case I missed another system of the electrical - finally, I turned down the thermostat.
i was real happy and feeling confident. Whenever I get handed an old building like this, someone onboard staff always has something to say along the lines of, "Well, i hear its awful shutting off water to ____ building" or "just know that shutting off water here is really dangerous." They're words never said by anyone who is in the know of what they are actually talking about, but I'd heard from the interim guy before me AND the previous guy out on injury (who started doing this as retirement of sorts from professional plumbing) that this building that I was shutting water down on could be a challenge.
So I walk around to the opposite side of the building where the cold water shutoff is. Real simple ball valve, right beneath that 2 inch check valve I'd mentioned - it was the most logical place to shut it off, seeing as touching any of the gate valves could leave me with a gate valve that might completely freeze itself shut due to corrosion. So, I've got the pressure relief bibb open on the bottom of the junction to the redundant Pressure Regulator, and sending out plenty of high-pressure water when I slowly shut off the ball valve below the check valve.
For a second I start to wonder if I should even leave the PR open, hesitate for a moment - the last thing i want to do is blow the lines up above because of an excessive air buildup - and go ahead and close it, and cap it. Water starts flowing out of the check valve - its entire container, and out the side. Nowhere specific, just out the whole damn thing.
My first thought is, "FUCK. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. WHY DID I HESITATE?" At this point, I honestly don't know what I'm going to do about that check valve, because there's absolutely no way I can bypass it where I shut off the water, and I still have the stop valves 3 flights above to deal with.
I figure, i might as well get my mission completed and worry about cleanup after.
So I'm upstairs, and i'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. These galvanized pipes have got to crack, chip, break, who knows. Everyone always complains about them, and the building is pushing 40 years old.
Only they don't. These pipes were so well tended, where I normally have to use the amount of strength to bend a steel train track with my bare hands in such a confined space that a cheater bar doesn't even have room to cheat - I hardly move the pressure in my arm at the same amount of strength it takes to cut into butter thats been out of the fridge for an hour. One FIP stop valves off, Two stop valves, then 3, then 4. New ones on even quicker. Threading was so clean, I didn't need PTFE on there, but I figure I might as well be courteous to the guy who might have to do this same thing a decade after me.
That all easily done, I didn't even bother to put new supply lines on yet. I needed to cook my noodle on the water coming out of that check valve first.
So I get back down to the boiler, release pressure - even though there is none - from the storage tank. In reverse, I pop back on the circulatory pump's flow, the cold water to the filtration system, and then back through the boiler from the main line. Kill switch/breaker both re-engaged, and hit the PRV 3 more times.
Back down to the cold water line, I just stand there staring at the check valve. It is right in front of me where my hands are holding the Ball valve continuing to have water fall out of the cold water system above it, waiting for me to turn that ball valve on. My mind is calculating the possibilities all the while. I'm up on a pretty high and very steep hill. The street is about a 20 foot roll down the hill into a small brick wall and then concrete if I can dodge the wall. That will send water into the system and directly to that check valve at maybe 100 to 160 PSI - I guess I could hope that its actually going to be 60. In my mind I'm thinking, maybe the Pressure relief valve that was below this ball valve I used to shut off the line was no longer operating properly, and the check valve was taking brute punishment on its diaphragm before hitting the redundant PRV beyond it, and it finally "checked" its final cache of usefulness.
Without further much ado, I went to turn the ball valve. Water stopped coming out of the check valve. I stood there shocked. I should be soaked at the very least. Water should be spraying everywhere. I had the drain bibb open and water was spraying out of it - so I decided to go ahead and close that one in the mean-time.
i coudl not get my head around what I was looking at until I realized that the diaphragm of the check valve was designed to vent water when the system was closed - it sure as hell LOOKED bad, but in actuality, it was just a little corrosive in its designed nature.
End of the day, these things are always sort of a wonder to me. 3 years ago, you couldn't get me to even look at two valves and tell you which was which, and what went to wear. "Check" what?
I was brought up by a mother who said that if I didn't go to college I would be a garbage man. I was given the impression that people who worked with their hands were people lesser than me. I went my entire young life always curious about things like what I do now as second nature, and days like today are absolutely fucking amazing.
_____
THen there's that moment of humility that brings it all down, when at the end of the day, I'm in my work-shop, sitting at the desk, writing in my journal, condensing my notes about the property, revising, making and building timelines for projects that could happen, should happen, and need to happen, when I get a call about a toilet that is backed up.
Carrying my regular magical weapons up the apartment with the same sort of confidence in my smile, I am absolutely shocked when the tenant says, "Yeah, i told my husband about it this morning, and he said he'd take care of it, but he didn't, and now the toilet is backed up." -- followed by, "I don't know what happened exactly, I just know that our son put 3 rolls of toilet paper in there, and that someone used it and it hasn't been able to flush since.
Yeah -- Yeah -- I'll fix it... I always fix everything. Just.... Just next time... Next time, just fucking call when it happens. I'll fix it. I'll fix it like I always do. It's 5 o'clock and I have a family to feed and take care of, and my code of ethics requires me to finish this and get it working before I go home.
At least when this happen at 5 o'clock, it all turns into overtime.
Obviously you don't know any lawyers if you believe that they ever wash.Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris
Hey at least its not NYC... Not only do you have the water that comes into the building but you have the water tower on the roof that actually supplies the water pressure. Upside is not all buildings have boilers to fight with, central steam comes from the cogeneration and heats the buildings and believe it not the steam also cools the buildings.
Yeah, there's a University I'm looking into transferring to that relies on their steam system for heating and cooling. Its not really surprising its the same concept of heat exchange that freon goes through a condensor, its just that you have so much more room and volume to work with a heavier compound (water as opposed to freon) that it is very simply done at a macro elvel.Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
One of our apps communicates with an internet server.
Because this is a high traffic server, there are several failover IPs.
If there's a communication problem, there's a log file reporting which IP is having the issue.
Because this is an internet-facing application, we request adding the exe or the IPs to a whitelist.
(examples are unusable IP ranges, I know)
Whitelist entry: 333.444.555.66
Log entry: 333.444.555.666
Customer asks "Your white list entry says one thing, but the log says the other."
I email development. "Which one's correct?"
Developer: The whitelist entry, but it doesn't matter, because they're both the same.
Uh, what?
Two weeks ago, I got a call from a customer's tech.
He asked me to explain the errors he was getting. I start to do so.
30 seconds in to my explanation, he begins to yell at me, saying our support sucks ("but not you man, this is the first time I've talked to you"), that we should be able to fix an error that 4 developers had never seen, and that 3 senior technicians in 27+ combined years supporting the products had never seen, and that (according to several hours of code digging by developers) should never have been able to happen.
Roughly 4 hours of troubleshooting later (almost 2 by me, 30+ mins of which was the tech yelling at me, followed by 10+ minutes of my counterpart yelling at me about this issue being a "call ownership" issue) plus almost 2 hours of "sitting at the desk of the development manager as he re-did all of my troubleshooting plus 2 extra developer-only steps" resulted in said tech guy realizing it's an environmental problem.
Today I get a call from another tech for that customer and he says "Yeah we fixed that issue."
Me: What did you do?
Tech: Well we restored the folder from backup
Me: Um... (Considering we'd done full reinstalls of the program, and still couldn't get it to work, I don't see how going back to an older folder structure would have been a good thing...)
Tech: Yeah, it started right up, no errors. We still have no idea what was going on, we think it was a user profile issue. SO we also replaced the user's computer.
Me: But four of your users were having the exact same problem. You replaced one computer, and restored the folder?
Tech: Yeah, weird huh
No, it's freaking insane. His call was about as useful as someone stopping me on the street to say "Marshmallows are made of sugar."
and never a wet fish at hand when you need one...Quote:
Customer asks "Your white list entry says one thing, but the log says the other."
I email development. "Which one's correct?"
Developer: The whitelist entry, but it doesn't matter, because they're both the same.
Tech: Can you come help me, I was changing the backup tapes, and this one has a blinking orange light on it...
Me: Yeah, that little word underneath the blinking light says "clean" - you should put in the cleaning tape.
How do I get my sound louder?
me: Turn up the volume.
That is a joke right? I hope that is a joke.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
All the crazy shit we relate in this thread and you ask that?Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
You hold out too much hope in the user.
(Hell, I still do.)
Actual conversation.Quote:
That is a joke right? I hope that is a joke.
but consider - There's about 4 different volume controls that could be involved... Application volume, Windows Mixer volumes, Amplifier volume, and she was trying to use a headphone set that had a volume control too.
"I maxxed the slider in Windows Media player - it's still not loud enough."
Ok, check Volume mixer in systray - ok that's maxxed..
So, turn up volume on speakers.
"Oh, I was trying with the volume control on my headset"...
I had this cartoon in my office for a while. Fortunately, the people I work with are cool with stuff like that.Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
You can replace "developer" with "techsupport" at your convenience:
Spoiler for Different worlds:
There are many, many technically challenged people out there. Even in the young segment.
Its the young segment that makes me sad, They grew up with this shit and need to call tech support to reset their router.(unplug it and plug it back in)
On the other hand that view of programmers is somewhat accurate, I sometimes wonder why they change the UI of a program in a new version when the existing UI was easy, intelligent and efficient. And then someone gets the bright idea to move everything.
Tech guy: In your program and a bunch of others that you don't provide, all my dates are coming up wrong, and a few are showing expired even though they're paid for
Me: How do you mean?
Tech: The dates are coming up like 25/9/2013, when it should be 9/25/2013!
Me: You need to change your Region settings so that your dates are English-US, and if that's what they're set to, I can send you the default settings that this selection will provide.
Tech: Okay
Tech calls back: Now my other software that requires non-US dates isn't working correctly!
Me: Well, mixing programs that require different date settings isn't a good idea...
Tech: You should change your program
Me: We should change our programs that perform US tax calculations and print to US tax forms to use Non-US date notation format?
Tech: Yes.
Because technology has gotten easier to use quite frankly. There is no need for the hood to be lifted and wonder at the glory/horror beneath.Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
Coworker: I'm trying to convert a folder of data, but cannot find the folder to convert
Me: Where did you save it?
Coworker: The standard application location
Me: What's the folder's name?
Coworker: Closed Opportunities
Me: What's the folder's name?
Coworker: Closed Opportunities
Me: (knowing this cannot be the case) The actual folder name is Closed Opportunities?
Coworker: Yes
Me: (I walk around the corner to her desk. The folder name is OpClosed) The folder name is OpClosed
Coworker: That's what I said, Closed Opportunities
Me: But the conversion looks for the folder name, not the name of what you know the contents are
Coworker: But it should still show up under Closed Opportunites?
Me: NO, it shows up under OpClosed.
Coworker: (she points to her list of folders; there are dozens of C-named folders) See, no Closed Opportunities
Me: The folder name is OpClosed. (scrolling down) Last I checked O is further along in the alphabet than C.
Coworker: It doesn't belong there! The folder name is Closed Opportunities!
Me: Riiiiiight.
/shudder...Quote:
Coworker: It doesn't belong there! The folder name is Closed Opportunities!
Me: Riiiiiight.
and that right there your honor - is where I shot him.
Well, if they don't have a personal interest in the stuff and/or were not taught how to fix it, I can see why they're clueless.Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
I can't fix a car worth a damn, for example. Add extra oil, gas and air for the tires, sure. I can also change a flat tire.
But beyond that ? A gaping maw of I-have-no-idea-how-to-do-this. It doesn't interest me at all.
On the other hand, I've taught my son how to take apart a PC, reset routers, plug in stuff correctly etc. It's all about personal interest and investment.
We've been getting "prepare for domain migration" emails for several months now, but due to our office's move back in June it was deferred til around this time.
Last month we had a rash of people (the ones still using XP) getting emails that they needed to go to a company website, fill out information about their workstation, including some applications they use, and submit it. I knew things would be coming to a head for the W7 people to start getting notifications that the domain scripts would start doing their work, so I sent an email out 2-3 weeks ago saying "Very soon we will start getting notifications that certain programs will be needed on your computer. Please ensure the installation windows state (company/domain) and follow all instructions."
Yesterday they apparently started to roll these scripts out to my office based on employee ID.
I get an IM from a woman in my department (Departmental Coworker) and tell her yes, this is legit, and that she must close all apps then just let the script restart her computer.
Not 5 minutes later I get a personal desk visit from one of my problem children asking the same thing.
Seeing as how it's barely 9am and most of the office hasn't arrived yet, I proactively send an email.
Around 11am I get an email from a woman in the other Support department (who primarily works from home.)Quote:
Originally Posted by email
Her: How long am I supposed to wait for the computer to restart?
Me: It'll probably take a few minutes, but make sure you don't do anything with your computer, just let it do its thing
Her: How will I know when it's done?
Me: Your computer will automatically restart.
Her: How long is it supposed to take?
Me: I don't know, but only a few minutes.
Her: And I can't work during this?
Me: No
At 3:55pm I get an IM from Departmental Coworker (DC).
DC: You have GOT to call me when you get off that support call
Me: (I call her)
DC: Yo, have you talked to (Other Support Department Lady) recently?
Me: She emailed me around 11am asking about my domain migration email
DC: Oh, she got it alright (she can barely keep herself from laughing)
DC: She called the Support 800 number.
DC: Apparently (laughing) when she received your email, she closed all her programs
Me: Okay
DC: No, no. (laughing) She never got the warning about the domain migration. (Laughing) She closed all her programs. (laughing) and shut down her computer.
Me: (by now I'm laughing too)
DC: (laughing) AND! AND! she said she was waiting for you to call her back to tell her she could turn her computer back on
Me: (Laughing) Wait, what?
DC: YES! Holy crap! She's been waiting FOUR AND A HALF HOURS for you to call her to tell her that her domain prep was finished and to turn her computer back on
Me: (semi-sobering) So she never got the warning, but instead used my email as if they were instructions to shut her computer down and, instead of calling back within 30 minutes, waited ALL DAY to find out if something that needed to be done on her computer, which cannot be done because its shut down, was in fact actually taking place?
DC: YES!
Wow, that person clearly believes in FM wireless transmission. And yes the FM stands for Fucking Magic.
Tuesday: Email from landlord, stating electrical work will be done Saturday, requiring office to be powered down.
Wednesday: Email Net Ops stating my office network will be offline Saturday for a period of possibly 4 hours or more; also inform users
Friday: Send email with reminders to both users and Net Ops
Saturday: Arrive at office at 7:35. Power everything down by 8:05. 8:21, get a call from Net Ops saying "We monitored your network is offline..."
Goes to show NetOps does not read their emails.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
However I bet they would be throwing a shit storm if you failed to read one of theirs and called them about something mentioned in the email.
How do these people function...
The other day I had to do a server reboot in the middle of the day, VSS service was fucking up which was negatively impacting our nightly backups.
So, I dutifully send out the email this server be down, 2pm SHARP downtime 30-60 minutes, these resources will be impacted.
2:05 - did we need to get out of "program X" before the shutdown?
well, since it went down 5 minutes ago kind of a moot point now don't ya think?
Today I get a reply to my email "emergency server maintenance"
"Yeah, Get some weird error when I login to my VPN now."
Great - that has nothing to do with my maintenance. but whatever, what's the error.
"I dunno something about authentication."
Ok I will need the Exact error message please.
Well, I happened to be watching my console for something unrelated the next time this person tried to login.
our usernames are quite complicated - so maybe some forgiveness is due. It is awfully tough to remember how to spell your "fistname.lastname"
2:30p Saturday - phone call from boss: "Why aren't you answering your phone? You're on call this weekend?"
me: "I just answered it." (Voicemail alertt chimes)
"I got a phone call from _____ saying she called you half an hour ago and you didn't answer or call her back."
me: "My voice mail literally just went off right now. I must have been through a dead zone. I'll take care of it."
Voicemail: "Phone call from _____ at 2:25pm."
R U F ing Kidding me.
_____________
3:00pm, Responding to call, backed up main-line from unit to street - not an emergency, but I'm already logging time. Go to first station to grab street snake. Not there. Go to second station to grab street snake. Not there. Go to 3rd station to grab street snake. Not there. None of the 3 primary stations in the area - the only primary stations in the area have their street snakes, which means someone from a secondary station took it and left it at their secondary station. In all 3 cases. If this was my primary call area, I would be chewing people OUT right now. But I'll just wait until Monday when corporate finds out about it, especially if the culprit(s) have no plans to correct it by Monday.
Had to drive 30 miles to go pickup a street snake from my Primary Call Area, after the 8 or so miles of driving around back and forth in my on-call area between Primary Stations. Time now, upon return with street snake: 6:18
Mainline cleared at 6:25.
Time actually worked? 7 minutes.
Time billed? 3 hours, 30 minutes
Mileage involved station to site and return? 1.5
Mileage billed? 38
That lying asshole. God I hate people like her.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris
The following calls unfolded over approximately four hours today.
Call #1:
Caller: Hi, I created a tax file with a certain date. When I realized the version of the program I was using didn't supply the correct forms, I recreated the exact same file with the correct date in a different version of the program. It prompted me to overwrite the original file with the new one. Now, when I open the new dataset, I get errors.
Me: Well, because the files created between the two versions are slightly different, those errors would make sense.
Caller: Well, how do I fix it?
Me: Is the file supposed to be working with the first date, or the second?
Caller: The second
Me: Okay, so, delete the whole thing then start over.
Caller: But I don't want to lose all my work.
Me: So have your tech people restore it from backup, then send me a copy of the dataset so that I can make certain alterations that would allow you to open the file in the second version of the program.
Caller: OK
Call #2:
Caller: My tech restored the client file
Me: Okay, here's the email add -
Caller: So I tried recreating the second iteration of the file and got the same errors
Me: I thought you were going to send it in to me?
Caller: Well, I didn't think you understood what I was trying to do, so I did the same thing I did the first time and ended up with the same errors.
Me: You'll need to have your tech guy restore the file again.
Caller: He's not going to be very happy to have to help me again.
Me: While I understand your reluctance to talk to him, it's better that we start with a fresh slate.
Caller: Okay, I'll give him another call.
Call #3:
Caller: Hi Mileron
Me: Hi Caller, how'd that turn out?
Caller: Well, the tech guy restored it again for me
Me: Okay, so are you ready to email it to me then?
Caller: No
Me: What happened?
Caller: He tried to create the file himself and had the same problems.
Me: Okay...
Caller: Then, he deleted the dataset and created the file brand new and had the same problems
Me: So did he restore it again?
Caller: No, he refused to, so he decided that it would be better for me to simply start everything fresh.
Me: Was there a whole lot of information that you needed to re-input?
Caller: No, maybe fifteen minutes' worth of work.
Sigh.
I can only imagine working in Techsupport is like The IT Crowd but not funny and more looking at the dead look in the jocks eye telling him that he needs to get rid of the sticky note underneath his mouse laser before it moves and debates on MMORPG's.
Sadly, we had a rule posted when I was working at a help desk many years ago: "Useful things taught by helpdesk: How to get far, far away from helpdesk".
I consider it a rite of passage: Most developers started out doing helpdesk while they were in college, then ran away screaming at the earliest possible moment.
Only the true hardcore people remain. Those are the ones you see posting here. I salute those who hold the fort!
Sometimes it's funny...Quote:
I can only imagine working in Techsupport is like The IT Crowd but not funny
I don't do helpdesk... I'm a "Network Administrator".Quote:
Sadly, we had a rule posted when I was working at a help desk many years ago: "Useful things taught by helpdesk: How to get far, far away from helpdesk".
I consider it a rite of passage: Most developers started out doing helpdesk while they were in college, then ran away screaming at the earliest possible moment.
Only the true hardcore people remain. Those are the ones you see posting here. I salute those who hold the fort!
(this is not mine, was shared)
A Cautionary Tale
Jesus Goladus. Call that link "Pavlov training." Everytime I hear "where is my data?" I have a sudden desire to vomit.Quote:
Originally Posted by Goladus
I'm going to chage my wife's "Safe word" to " Where is my data?"
I realized that I put that poorly - no edits in rants. I'll rephrase it to "The people who have IT jobs that require them to be in a helpdesk-type situation from time to time".Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
Basically, that means every single IT worker. Even if you're a developer, people seem to think that you have a sixth sense for every single file, network drive or odd device that's plugged into the network.
You also know everything about usernames and logins to legacy and specialty systems, even though your job doesn't even REMOTELY relate to these systems :)
Not really, I was being pedantic.Quote:
I realized that I put that poorly
User 1: Hi, I'm having problems with my voicemail. When I try to check my messages, I get the error "PIN not recognized, please re-enter PIN".
Me: Call the Help Desk.
User 2: Hi, I can't access my voicemail. The system keeps saying "PIN not recognized."
Me: Call the Help Desk. (Also, I email the whole office that if they have problems with their voicemail PIN, they need to call the Help Desk.)
User 3: Hey, did you hear we're having problems with voicemail? Something about my PIN being expired, but also not being recognized.
Me: I did indeed hear there's problems with voicemail, however I have no control over that. You'll have to call the Help Desk.
User3: Why should we call the Help Desk for voicemail problems? You plugged in the phones.
User: My desk phone won't call in and out
Me: Unplug the phone and plug it back in after 15 seconds. You'll lose network connectivity for 2 minutes.
User: I'm on a conference call
Me: But if your phone won't call in and out, how are you on the conference call?
User: I'm listening to the session on my (tiny) PC speaker.
Me: Use your cell phone?
User: I don't want them to have my cell phone number!
Me: I have no other options for you. You'll have to make do.
I don't know what to tell these people other than "fine, suffer".
I just say "Is there anything else I can help with? No? Have a nice day."
I think all these high end degrees that more and more jobs today should have a required new course "common sense 101."
"Are there any other technical problems I can help you with? No? Have a nice day."Quote:
Originally Posted by Schezar
Without that specification I can very occasionally expect to get answers on the level of "My cat keeps peeing on me and I can't afford the vet bill to get him checked out" from some of our end users.
I should start writing down the weirdness so I can share it here.
Email from user: X person got a new computer from you guys but there are a bunch of icons on the old computer's desktop like shortcuts. How do we get those onto the new computer?
Fellow Tech: Fire up the old computer, create a folder on the network drive, then copy or save everything you want on the new computer to that folder. Once that's done, have the user go to the network drive and copy them back down.
Return e-mail from user: Please provide detailed instructions on how to "save to folder".
Another one from this week:
Email from user with screenshot of windows explorer: "when we want to attach documents to an e-mail, this window comes up. The name column is too short for us to see the letters of the network drives. Please make it wider."
Return e-mail from tech: "You can re-size the Name column by dragging it to the right or you can position your mouse cursor between the top bar of the two columns (in this case Name & Type) and double click, this will automatically extend it to the current maximum length of the Name column."
Seriously, this is windows 101, this guy has been using windows computers for well over a decade and is the MAIN TECHNICAL CONTACT AT THE SITE.
I'm waiting for the tech to forward me a return e-mail on Monday saying "This is not working, it just re-orders the columns. Fix it."
Question for those of you in tech support. When I set up a new computer, there are certain actions that need to be performed by the end user. For example, when using various terminal services programs, on first use, the user will be prompted to select a server. In our setup, if they simply hit browse, only one option comes up. When they open Microsoft Office for the first time, they might be asked if they want to have automatic updates sent to their computer. Setting their default printer is another example.
My non IT boss seems to think that I should be able to configure all of these first time log-on settings for the end user and that my distributing directions to them is too "techy". Since these options, to the best of my knowledge, can only be done by the end user, I ask users for their passwords so I can do it for them. This creates problems when they need to use another computer that hasn't been "custom" set up for them by me. They are lost and can't work until I assist them.
How are these things handled in other companies? Our workforce tends to be non-computer literate but I feel my hand holding is hurting them more then helping them.
I'm the only IT in our company so I might be managing a large project with outside vendors and need to quickly switch gears because someone needs help printing from Excel.
Our terminal services application saves profile data in file specific to that user. When we upgrade one of the shared machines that a dozen of the operators use, I copy all the profile files over and they're good to go. But yes, there are other apps that require at least one login to set up a profile of some sort.Quote:
Originally Posted by valas
Greenshot. LOTS of pictures.Quote:
Originally Posted by valas
A crayon font is also sometimes helpful.
I usually configure everything including the stuff the user has to do, but then I also physically install their new machine and tell them what has changed. Also, move local files from their old PC even though nothing is supposed to be saved locally.
Saves me the headache of explaining why their shit is gone.
Today: "my screen is blank." - while I tried to get a SQL database back up that had an error message. "Give me a minute, I'll be right with you" I said. She just stands there and repeats her plea not once but twice, ruining my train of thought.
Walk over, hit power button on monitor, fixed.
I'm with stupid.
LOL I think I am going to try this.Quote:
Originally Posted by Eremius
No, you're with normal. Several examples in this very thread :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronaan
People are dumb. Hell they call cable tech support because their monitor says "No Signal" they are too dumb to know that the power failure kind of made their computer shut off and that they have to turn it on again when the wires get fixed and the power comes back on.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronaan
I just talked to a tech guy who, in the presence of his customer stated out loud, "I don't believe in anti-virus and don't think workstations should have it."
That reminds me of the guy who - against corporate policy - sticks his usb drive into my network, virus scanner lights up like a fucking christmas tree, plus the music he has on it is of questionable origin.
Fails to see the problem too, continues doing it. Has managed to kill two usb ports on our presentation notebook. Didn't notice. He also didn't notice that he had the plugs upside down.
He's been here for 25++ years so no way to have him sanctioned really. Time is on my side though.
Guy tries to plug a USB flash drive into a notebook computer's USB port, it's upside-down, so it doesn't go in easily. So what does he do? Does he back out and re-aim? No, he drives harder inwards, against the resistance, finally breaking through, destroying the usefulness of the USB port forever.
Ladies, do not EVER have sex with this man!
....Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
I'm just going to leave this here
Attachment 2775
Pretty sure that is the working theory.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninetoes
Has three daughters, heh.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae
This same guy has a notebook with 2 rows of dead pixels, each 10 px or so high, and a non-working optical drive that just slips out of its bay.
I refused to buy a new one for him because computers have feelings too, but with windows xp getting no support soon I had to. His desktop + notebook get replaced by a notebook + docking station.
The exchange is on monday and I might just call in sick, developing a cold.
You should be in - make sure that the newly delivered laptop has the USB ports disabled.
Just because they won't technically work doesn't mean the user wouldn't try jamming shit in there to try it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Woodja
Have a Stinkpad Craptop in the office that's older than fossilized shit - was an original XP system - which has one bent USB port and one with no contacts inside. Someone tried to jam the connector from a USB mouse because it wasn't working and he didn't hear the beep, so he kept jamming harder thinking it wasn't making contact.
Well, it wasn't.
Don't they sell plastic plugs to fill in an unused USB port? Pre-empt this mofo!
I'm the one doing the delivering so.... it's safe for now.Quote:
Originally Posted by Woodja
Re: those plugs - I plugged our new media notebook up good with those, added a usb hub for convenience, now they think I'm doing them a favor :-p
That's becoming more and more popular as the antivirus model of "detection by heuristics" becomes less and less effective.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
Why pay a yearly licensing fee for something that doesn't do squat?
It's far safer to ensure users have NO local admin rights under any circumstances (psexec shortcuts for shitty apps that require it to run), use an external spam filter to strip things like executables or scripts inside of zip files from e-mail attachments (MX Logic, Securence, Postini, MailMax etc), set your group policy so that nothing can run inside of AppData unless it's specifically whitelisted by executable name, filter everything through a web proxy server that blocks all websites you don't specifically allow (best practice) or at least blocks common known vector sites, setting up your connection so your e-mail server uses one external IP and your internet traffic flows through another one, block all inbound and outbound ports that aren't 100% ACTUALLY necessary, etc, etc, etc.
The latest batch of viruses is already completely done doing damage by the time ANY modern antivirus can detect it.
Alternately, put everyone on locked down thin clients with citrix or terminal services, with a FULL LOCKDOWN POLICY IN PLACE so that the users can't do anything but work.
It's rapidly coming to the point that the loss of data and productivity from the newest batch of cryptolocker infections is causing the higher-ups to see beyond employee complaints and start looking towards actual security.
I have to agree, it seems the way to stop the bad now is policy, security and for people who have the knowledge they do not need policy they practice safe hex.. Firefox+adblock alone does amazing things let alone when you toss in noscript.Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
Downside is a lot of companies are bound by the balls to IE and worse than that its IE6
The latter portion of your comment is incorrect.Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
http://www.modern.ie/en-us/ie6countdown
Aside from that, being bound to IE is not an entirely bad thing aside from the fact that new IE versions break legacy software and often re-work their plugin compatibility and UI, which causes no end of end-user headache.
It is, however, very difficult to push a group policy object that enforces proxy server settings to firefox or plain chrome. (You can do it with Chrome for Business, which respects AD Group Policy, though)
Companies are bound by the balls to IE because (and I risk sounding like Jonas here) it's the most efficient way to tie in the infrastructure because it's a microsoft product that's made to work with other microsoft (read: domain controller and programming languages for windows boxes) products.
I always love it when people say how inherently awesome and secure chrome is because it makes me laugh.
One of my coworkers had to yank the hard drive out of his girlfriend's PC so he could copy the relevant data onto a new one he already had with a new OS (busted laptop screen) and since he had to copy her data over, on a lark, he replaced his own chrome profile with hers.
BLAM!
Instant access (even though the session had been stale for days) to her facebook, her gmail, pretty much anything she had visited WITHOUT SAVED PASSWORDS.
Chrome apparently keeps session state alive for some sites via flat file data.
Oh, and then there's stuff like this that makes me laugh harder when people say they're secure because they use (insert browser here):
http://www.securityfocus.com/bid/63729
Software can't protect us.
Software is the attack vector.
Fixing bad computer behaviour in all computer users is the only solution.
Good luck.Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
</96hours kidnapper voice>
So your example of Chrome being insecure involves someone having physical access to someone's hd? ... huh?Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
Yes, because noone ever in the history of anything has ever been able to gain access to the files on someone's hard drive remotely.Quote:
Originally Posted by Schezar
Yes, but how does that make Chrome insecure? If someone has access to your drive that's pretty much game over you lose as far as security goes. It also has nothing to do with whether a browser is secure for browsing websites.
Wednesday drive-by stupid:
"what do you mean by the username can't be blank?"