Actually, it's this guyQuote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
#532
#576
#604
#622
#666 (ironic, that)
#820
So yeah, you can see where that's going.
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Coworker: We need a network cable for the conference room
Me: But you all just got brand new laptops with wireless access
Coworker: We don't want to deal with the hassle of wireless, we just want a cable.
... The mind boggles.
He's got "Management" written all over him!Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
Holy fuck what a day
First there's that wireless issue above
Then I get a bunch of emails from 4 users saying "When we test New Product X's print process, our computers' screens go black and we have to hard reboot. Fix our computers!"
Me: Are you able to print from any other application?
Users: Yes
Me: When did this start?
Users: When we try to print New Product X
Me: Is this the first iteration?
Users: No, we just got an update
Me: What did the update entail?
Users: Changes to the print process
Me: So... maybe it's the print process changes that caused the problem
Users:
Attachment 2970
QA Manager: My new laptop came with Office 2007. I installed Office 2010, then 2013, then uninstalled 2013 and 2010. Now I'm getting COM errors.
Me: The install of the newer apps probably caused certain files that 2007 needed to be replaced or archived in some manner. Uninstall 2007 also, then reinstall the version you actually want.
QAM:
Attachment 2970
Lead Developer: For the last couple days, since an update to the VPN system occurred, I keep getting disconnected from VPN with (vpn specific errors). I end up getting disconnected every fifteen minutes or less for at least five minutes while it tries to reconnect.
Me: Sounds like the update went wrong. Try uninstalling the VPN entirely, then reinstall the most recent version and see how that goes.
LD: But that means I won't be able to VPN until I get the new version reinstalled.
Me: Well, you can't stay connected now, correct?
LD: But it lets me stay connected long enough to download my source code and put it back
Me: So... You would rather have a chance of constant, interrupted access, instead of spending 15 minutes uninstalling and reinstalling the VPN
LD: I need to stay connected to the VPN!
Me:
Attachment 2971
Coworker: I bought a new router for using at home to work from home
Me: Okay
Coworker: Well, there's three cables coming off the old router
Me: Okay
Coworker: All three go to the Comcast modem
Me: Wait, what?
Coworker: All three go to the Comcast modem
Me: You should only have ONE cable that goes from the Comcast modem to the router. It goes into the internet port.
Coworker: Well, two of them go into the E0 and E1 jacks (okay, I seriously paraphrased this part of the conversation) and the last goes into the Internet port
Me:
Attachment 2972
So one of the systems I take care of is the backend for a Hotel Video-On Demand system.
A ticket we had today alleged that at 4AM, a customer was happily sleeping away, when suddenly the cable box in his room ordered an adult movie, and then in a strange coincidence, his Television also turned on. In his confusion at being awakened at 4AM, he was slow to figure out what was going on, and it took him several minutes to figure out how to exit the movie and turn the TV back off.
Also, the remote control was all sticky.
Attachment 2988Quote:
Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae
Exact same thing happened to me ten years ago! Thought someone ne would have fixed that by now....Quote:
Originally Posted by Nadiar
Not really been on any business trips since then, so no way for me to know if the problem persists.
Does the system allow you to tell people to stop wasting your time? Or do you just bill them triple for crap like that?Quote:
Originally Posted by Nadiar
Unless another room nearby or in line of sight just happens to order or turn on the same program, it won't be the remote of someone else pointed at that box doing the selecting.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nadiar
Other Tech:
OK, I'm in google - now where do I find Google Earth?
Attachment 2989Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
In an interesting twist on this submission:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
Tech: Whenever I open your program, I get an error that says "corrupt table"
Me: Is there an error code, and does it reference which table?
Tech: Yes
Me: May I have that information please?
Tech: Sure, (gives info and sends copy of affected file)
Me: That error combined with that file tells me that you have been struck by a virus that has corrupted all your datafiles. You'll need to reinstall the programs and restore data from last-known-good prior-to-virus backup.
Tech: How can you know that?
Me: I've seen this before in conjunction with this error resulting in this situation. The virus was probably (specific virus)
Tech: I'm a tech guy, I've got more better important (verbatim) things to do than to learn about all viruses that hit people
Attachment 2989
..........Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
Isnt that a bit like the service manager at the car dealer saying "I have better things to worry about than the safety recalls for the cars we sell"
I always like to compare computers on the internet to the Safe Sex lecture...Quote:
Isnt that a bit like the service manager at the car dealer saying "I have better things to worry about than the safety recalls for the cars we sell"
When your computer connects with another computer it's connecting to everybody that computer is connecting to. Advertisers, hackers, and so on. Running a computer without Anti-virus/firewall is like having unsafe sex with other people having more unsafe sex. You WILL get a bug.
I like to compare AV packages to contraceptive pills as well. They are only about 99.8% effective.
So you should always break up before having sex with someone for the 100th time!
I'm in the break room, washing my lunch containers when a coworker enters and starts talking to me.
I'm focusing down into the sink, not looking at her.
She says "Hey" and I see shadows of an arm pointing, "When'd the fax die?"
Me: I'm sorry?
Her: (gesturing again, so all I see is a shadow) When. Did. The. Fax. Machine. Die.
Me: (I turn off the water and turn to look at her.) I'm sorry, I didn't understand shadow pointing. Also, considering we have two fax machines, and only five people out of 40 in the office today, no one has emailed me about any fax problems. So you'll need to be more specific.
Her: (clearly taken aback that I didn't have an instantaneous answer) Well I had someone send me a fax
Me: Okay... and what happened? (soap is dripping off my hands onto the floor.)
Her: (staring at the spreading soap puddle) I didn't get it
Me: When did they send it?
Her: (staring at the soap puddle)
Me: When was the fax sent to you?
Her: Oh, within the last five minutes. (she's completely mesmerized by the soap on the floor)
Me: Is it possible they simply haven't sent it yet?
Her: No, I heard her dialing our number
Me: Is it a long fax?
Her: Yes (more soap gazing; now the bubbles are starting to pop)
Me: Which fax machine did you check?
Her: What?
Me: What number did they use?
Her: What number did they use? (she sounds so confused that I would ask this question she actually looked up at me again)
Me: Yes, we have two fax machines. Which fax number did they use?
Her: (thumbs over her shoulder towards the mailroom right outside, and I realize this is the shadow I had been seeing) This one
Me: The number hanging above that fax machine actually belongs to the front office fax, because this one's not intended for receiving faxes
Her: Why not?
Me: Because if you cross the fax streams and try to receive faxes in two places at the same time, one machine will burn out. This way, we rely on Code ET 503 gating to queue the faxes.
Her: (she gets a far away look, then realization dawns in her eyes) So the front fax is where I should find my fax then huh?
Me: Yes indeedy.
haha.
I am guessing you made up the crossing the streams part just to get rid of her, Because everybody knows crossing the streams is bad.
Of course. This is one of those users that tends to "glaze over" when using technical terms.Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
Code ET 503 = "engaged tone" (i.e. busy signal) 503 = HTTP Service Unavailable
bwahahaha