lol I almost posted a similar reply ~Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
There's some nice irony there though.
:p
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lol I almost posted a similar reply ~Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
There's some nice irony there though.
:p
It is essential to get enough irony in your diet.Quote:
There's some nice irony there though.
From one of our other Tech's...
How do I find what computer 127.0.0.1 is?
Electric signals travel at about 1/3th the speed of light, Ping that IP, take down the time in it takes for that ping to come back, devide that time by 2, calculate the distance traveled during that time at 1/3th the speed of light, then follow your network cable out of your computer for that amount of meters to 127.0.0.1Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
:P
Little faster then that.Quote:
Electric signals travel at about 1/3th the speed of light
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Speed_of_electricityQuote:
Propagation speed is affected by insulation, such that in an unshielded copper conductor range 0.95 to 0.97 that of the speed of light, while in a typical coaxial cable it is about 66% of the speed of light
Ethernet is UTP unshielded Twisted Pair... So, near 95% the speed of light.
So your calculations at 1/3 would be off by a significant margin...
Probably, I just picked the travel speed of an electron through a basic copper power wire.
Looking at data, you look at em-field travel time which is indeed influenced by shielding etc. The field travels faster then the electrons that sustain it. It just means they have to follow more meters of cable, so they have more time to reach the facepalm moment.
Which of course, doesn't even matter because communication to the Loopback doesn't even touch the wire - it doesn't leave the NIC.Quote:
Probably, I just picked the travel speed of an electron through a basic copper power wire.
Looking at data, you look at em-field travel time which is indeed influenced by shielding etc. The field travels faster then the electrons that sustain it. It just means they have to follow more meters of cable, so they have more time to reach the facepalm moment.
How many femtoseconds does it take to completely overshoot the building, though? Like ten? You need a really accurate timepiece.
Customer: Hi, I'm having a problem with (stupid configuration for usage thing that I broke)
Me: Okay well I need to get you in contact with our user group.
Me: *holds for a minute* Ma'am, unfortunately no one in the other group is available. WOuld you like to leave a voicemail or call back tomorrow?
Customer: I'm going on vacation. I need help NOW and I'm leaving the office in 10 minutes.
Me: Well unfortunately the other group is unavailable. Do you want to hold?
Customer: Fine. They're probably not even going to pick up, they're leaving in ten minutes.
Me: That's not the case ma'am - after all, I answered...
Customer: *silence*
Boo and Yah.
Good one I had at comcast was somebody already on vacation, they called in to complain their modem did not work at the beach house. after a quick google of the location it was charter territory, took about 30 minutes to get them to understand they can only use their modem on the Comcast system and technically only in their service area(though sometimes a modem will work on any comcast system because provisioning is weird like that and does its own thing)
Just one to share:
During a recent password audit, it was found that someone was using the following password:
"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacrame nto"
When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
id hope there was never a password Audit of me, I always just used a password with a number that I changed at the end. Take that "Must change every 30 days" policy on the network.
Month + Year is my favorite revolving password. It never repeats, uses letters and numbers and impossible to forget!
:p
Booo, Branaman, BOOOO! :p
Yup, Month+year after the basic similar blurb to circumvent that 30 day password change policy.
which of course is why I feel 30 days is to frequent, and instead favor a 90 day policy.Quote:
Yup, Month+year after the basic similar blurb to circumvent that 30 day password change policy.
The company I'm currently working for just went through a security audit. They were able to crack about 1/3 of the company's passwords. My personal favorite was 'FuckYou2'.
I knew my password was weak. Now that I'm help desk with the new company, I find myself doing all the things that used to annoy me as an Admin. Weak passwords, casually tossing 600GB worth of images on the file server, ... I may not like my job, but the lack of responsibility is very refreshing.
But that's the perfect password for a support tech!Quote:
Originally Posted by Filthy
I wonder if the person with FuckYou2 got in trouble.Quote:
Originally Posted by Filthy
I'm surprised they were able to crack that. It is 8 characters long with upper case lowercase and a number. I wonder if it would be harder to crack if they went with FuckUtw0.
According to them, it's actually a pretty common password. Common enough to be in the rainbow tables, anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by valas
As far as I know, he hasn't gotten in trouble. We just saw the results of the audit Friday afternoon. I hope he doesn't, anyway ... he's one of three competent techs left in that division. New supervisor has chased away most of the good people already.
If they would have done a special character it would have made it far harder to crack. Possibly FuckYou2!
[quote]I'm surprised they were able to crack that. It is 8 characters long with upper case lowercase and a number. I wonder if it would be harder to crack if they went with FuckUtw0.[/uote]
8 is inadequate these days...
Think about it, modern computers do protein folding in their spare time... They can compute millions of digits of Pi in seconds.
Your telephone is as powerful of a computer as your desktop from 10 years ago.
Really, what's needed is 2 factor authentication... the "password" is obsolete.
One of my users needs to create a CD to send to a customer.
She has a blank disc.
User: It keeps telling me there's no writable CD in the drive. I've thrown out 4 discs already because they're coming up repeatedly as not writable.
Me: You ARE using CD-R discs, yes? *I check, she is, and her drive is also a CD-RW*
User: Yes *she shows me the leftover discs, they're Memorex 52x*
Me: Let me see the disc *thinking it's already written on*
User: *pulls out the disc*
Me: *flips over the disc and find the label side down* You have it upside down.
I recently replaced a desktop computer for one of my users. It was a completely new build of XP with IE8. She's too clueless to use Firefox.
User: Thank you SO much!
Me: Um... for what?
User: For giving me MSNBC on my computer instead of Google! That webpage is so boring when I open my Internet!
So, I just got this email that didn't come from some guy with a different name from you and asks me to go to a website in the Ukraine and put in all of my personal info... is that from you?
Boy I mangled that... proof read what's that again?
So I just got this email from an email address that's not yours, asking me to go to a Ukrainian website and put in all my personal info in order to keep my email account... Is that from you guys?Quote:
So, I just got this email that didn't come from some guy with a different name from you and asks me to go to a website in the Ukraine and put in all of my personal info... is that from you?
There, I think that's clearer.
Da, komrade.
Tovarisch.
Zekar.
Ваше сотрудничество ценится.
документы, пожалуйста.
Принимаете ли вы проверить, а не документы?
So, do you guys actually speak/read/write Russian?
Or is that Google translator?
Этот перевод представлена вам Google Translator
Customer:
Hi, we're migrating to a new IP block, and need to change our DNS record for our Exchange server.
Me:
Excellent. (Go through the motions of scheduling the change) Ok, our DNS updates every 15 minutes, and it takes about an hour to propagate through the internet, during which time you'll likely have no mail services.
Customer:
An hour and fifteen minutes? Wow, that's great! The other guys quoted me a minimum of two days!
Me:
We used to quote that too, maybe ten years ago. The internet has gotten quite a bit faster since then.
Sometimes, I'll get folks from my office call the main product support, hoping to get me, to ask me system problems when they're traveling for work reasons.
Me: *greeting*
Caller: Hi (you) this is (Sales VP from my office). I'm at home getting ready to go to Hamburg next week, and my VPN certificate expired and need your help getting it set back up.
Me: Buh... Did you get the email with the new request link?
VP: *condensed from 15 minutes of convo* Yes, and I followed the link, input my information, got the new email, clicked the download button, and now I'm getting a bunch of VBScript errors.
Me: Those I can't help you with, you'll need to call the global help desk.
VP: Oh, I did, they told me I needed to talk to my desktop support.
Me: *researches the error, there's no one single fix, and in about half the cases found, they're certificate problems* Well, walk me through the steps you used to install it.
VP: *long story short, he opened the email with the new cert download link on the computer he was remoting into*
Me: Um... you'll actually need to open the email via company webmail on the computer that you're doing the connecting FROM, not the connecting TO...
VP: Really? *clicking, he's humming, I hear a few script/activex beeps* Whaddya know, it worked that time!
I'm shocked -- shocked I say.Quote:
Whaddya know, it worked that time!
Major phone software upgrade took place last week.
We've had nothing but problems.
So far, this has happened twice, and I already escalated it to our newly India-based help desk:
A tech in my queue tries to transfer a call to Sales. The Sales rep doesn't pick up. It automatically makes her unavailable. The call should then be routed to either the next available Sales rep - or voicemail. It does neither. Instead, it comes to ME.
Me: Hi, thanks for calling System Support, this is (me)...
Coworker: Me, it's Tech2. I... didn't want to transfer this to Tech...
Me: Take a screenshot of your phone window, send me your logs, I'll add it to my escalation.
Coworker: *all rude* I know how to do this, you don't have to tell me
Me: ... Okay well thanks for the info, I'll pass it along with my info when I escalate.
(still haven't received the majority of the info yet, and it's 150 mins later when India calls me)
Me: *greeting* (yes, I am forced to answer the phone like that EVERY time)
India: Hello Me, this is Person-in-India, we see from the screenshot you sent that the person receiving the initial call didn't answer, so in 18 seconds it automatically goes to the next available Sales Rep
Me: Right, I understand that. I'm not a Sales Rep.
India: You're not?
And here's an unrelated kicker:
Put a new laptop with docking station on another Coworker's desk today
He comes over to my desk a couple minutes ago
PICNIC: Yeah, hi Me, I think I killed it
Me: That's not funny, Picnic, it hasn't even been four hours, what did you do?
PICNIC: Oh, I hit the dock eject button while the laptop was fully on... and now it won't go back on...
Me: *I go to his desk, pull out the battery for 10 seconds, unplug the dock for 10 seconds, put it all back together, it boots.* Yeah, don't do that again.
PICNIC = Problem In Chair, Not In Computer
Ah, they go right along with the PEBCAKs. Problem Exists Between chair And Keyboard.
I had no less than a dozen different lawyers and MBA's doing that for WEEKS after they got new laptops.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
My favorite, though, was the guy who stored EVERYTHING on his desktop and always unplugged the LAN cable before logging on or off his machine because "logging in with the cable takes too long".
Me: YES. THAT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE A ROAMING PROFILE. PUT STUFF ON YOUR NETWORK DRIVE OR IN THE DOCUMENT MANAGEMENT SYSTEM WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH IT SO YOU DON'T HAVE AN 8GB ROAMING PROFILE!
Him: I can't do that. All of these Excel spreadsheets are linked.
Me: *shudders*
My favorite is Layer 8Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonlainy
Nepotism?Quote:
Originally Posted by Eremius
I've seen lots of network failures due to "my {relative} is out of school for the summer. He's geeky so I'm giving him a seasonal internship in your department." :P
Layer 8 is the User layer :-)
Yes, nepotism sucks that way.
Ok, the heatwave has brought out the Stupid:
This morning received the "Help."
with what?
"I'm trying to get to this web address and it won't go there, and we tried it on somebody eles's and it looks different, and it just doesn't work help!!!!"
OK, let's start with the difference between the text box for the Yahoo search - and the address bar.
yahoo search doesn't like "https://" try the address bar instead...
wow - that works so much better.
"yeah, I'm so bad with computers - I've never learned this stuff, I'm never going to?"
Then perhaps you should chose a profession other then Fucking secretary. Maybe try street sweeper or burger fucking flipper. Either way, quit using my oxygen.
---------------------------
Now this afternoon's:
From a better user, not completely incompetent - just mostly... she usually finds a way to do things... may not always be the most efficient, but she gets the job done.
So, She has a word document that she wants in PDF format, but she wants to spit the one word doc into Multiple PDF's - her solution is to print it out; go out to the Canon Document center and scan it in a couple pages at a time... She's asking me for a better way to do it.
(thankfully she asked)...
She knew about the word Publish as PDF -- she had just never clicked on the "Options" button to find the - "page range" option
Sales rep: Customer emailed me and told me she's getting an error
Me: In what program?
SR: What do you mean what program?
Me: Which program did they get the error in?
SR: Oh, the one from 1999
Me: There were four
SR: Oh, X Tax Form
Me: *knowing it takes special instructions to install it now, due to the newer programs running off a different database engine than the old ones* Was it error 456?
SR: How would I know?
Me: Did she include the error in the email?
SR: No, but she wants development to rebuild the program because she swears it won't take her data.
Me: First off, that program hasn't been updated since 2001. It's ten years old. Second, we don't even develop using the same environment to make that program anymore.
SR: Well what if we find a CD for development to fix the old program?
Me: Just have the customer call us with her tech on the phone.
Customer: I'm getting an error that indicates a permissions problem when I use your software.
Me: *remote troubleshooting* Well yeah you don't have full control permissions to the app folder
Customer: Call my tech about that.
Me: Yeah, Hi, Contracted Tech? I need this user to have FC permissions to the app folder.
Tech: Oh, they aren't in any groups, they use a guest login to get onto their server.
Me: ...
Who DOES that!?
Lazy or stupid people
The same kind of people that design the data access layer of a web application to use web services for all of the database operations, said web services' only purpose being to pass the SQL queries, with credentials and in plain text, between two servers.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
I've seen that!Quote:
Originally Posted by Axxin
The same app stored the sa password in plain text in the registry too!
Wow. I thought that level of stupid had to be fairly unique.Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
It gets better.Quote:
Originally Posted by Axxin
Since I *had* the sa password, I figured "why not just load up SQL Enterprise Manager and have a look-see?".
Insert cartoon sound of jaw dropping like a sack full of metal tools and tin cans.
Only a few tables had primary keys. Despite being chock full of data that was SUPPOSED to be relational data, there were only a few (3? 4?) actual relationships out of the 40 - 60 tables (It's been years so I don't remember exact numbers) and the rest were just flat, separate, unconnected globs of crap. Nevermind that tableCostModel.CostIDName should have been related to tableCostCompanyData.CostIDName, there was absolutely NOTHING tying them together.
I still have a backup somewhere on a VM so I plan to, someday, obfuscate it sufficiently to avoid getting my ass sued and submit the schema to DailyWTF.
Maybe they were doing field comparisons on the fly during queries by using nested IIF statements. Sloppy as hell.
Er, I mean CASE WHEN statements.
The developer told me that since all of the queries were hard-coded into the executable, with the exception of the user-created variables, for the application (at which point I wanted to ask "why the fuck didn't you hard-code the sa pw too instead of leaving it for all to see in the registry?") that nothing could possibly go wrong, at which point I blinked, shuddered, and tried not to think about it when dealing with that software.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae
I later found out (upon having the lead dev webex into my machine and nearly pass out due to asphyxiation from talking so fast he didn't have time to breathe when he saw SQL Enterprise Manager) that they were using SQL Express and doing all of the db programming via DOS prompt because*noone* on the development team had a full copy of SQL Server with the Development Tools.
"What is that?" "How did you get that?" "That would be very helpful!"
Yup. He'd never even SEEN the client-side tools for MS T-SQL db's.
/facepalm
Hooray for outsourcing.
Humanity has an infinite supply of stupid.Quote:
Originally Posted by Axxin
Just in case you are not aware, SQL 2008 Express can be installed with the Studio Manager. You either have to find the correct install package or jump through hoops installing it after the SQL 2008 Express install.Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
Infinite stupidity in infinite combinations.Quote:
Originally Posted by Schezar
Yeah, that was actually one of the better added features in the express line of late.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mitebe
They were still using 2000 because that's what they started developing on.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. why would they continue to use that old tired pos. Unless they were developing since before 2008 came out and didn't want to upgrade/port to the new platform.
That would be the case. They started developing in...2003? and didn't want to overhaul the whole thing, partially, I believe, because releasing an upgrade would require exporting the data from SQL2000E and importing it into 05/08 on live application servers around the world which, given their schema and the talent level of their coders, I wouldn't trust either. (seriously. The app was "enterprise" software in the true DailyWTF sense of the word. It had radio buttons behaving like checkboxes and vice versa. You could also set something in a dialog box, save it, and the setting would take, but upon re-opening the settings dialog box, all settings would be unpopulated if they weren't text fields. They were still SET but you had no way of knowing what they were set TO.)Quote:
Originally Posted by Mitebe
Reminds me of a startup I was in where the boss wrote the initial code and man was the guy a shitty programmer, it's like he always took the most convoluted and least-useful course possible at every turn. As if he thought he got a cookie every time he made a work-around he didn't really need. I think he was just really daunted by the manuals and would stop reading as soon as he found something that worked even marginally.
My office uses SQL2000 for their Goldmine database...
Back in 2004, before I started, they wanted to upgrade the backend to 2003, but the people they licensed it from refused to provide support for the upgrade, even though we had a contract, so we dropped them.
The last 9 months I've gotten emails every month from our "security audit" group stating I have a SQL2K server which could be a danger... No shit, really? I need it since I can't replace it.
Yesterday, had a server ops guy come down from our NYC office to upgrade an unused SMS server to Win2K8. It mostly went smoothly.
Today, he calls me:
Serverops: Yeah, we're trying to get a ping on the server, but it's not going through
Me: Did you connect to it yet today?
Serverops: Yeah, we were doing Windows Updates.
Me: ... Maybe it's still rebooting and applying updates?
Serverops: No, that can't be it
Me: *runs into the server room. the screen shows "Preparing Windows Updates, do not shut down computer". Return to my desk, tell the serverops guy*
Serverops: Really?
sigh.
And then a few minutes later
Sales: *comes to my desk asking me sales licensing questions dealing with remote access licenses*
Me: You need to talk to your manager
Sales: Is there a workaround?
Me: Kind of, but since it only works 80% of the time, you need to talk to your manager.
Sales: How do you know that?
Me: Because you authorized a similar setup for a customer 3 years ago, and instead of calling us for the problem every 2 months, she calls every three and a half, and you had to go through your manager before to set this up...
Sales: Really?
And then there's the people who we have talked to on a weekly basis who call asking for certain governmental tax forms. I know I've posted in this thread about them before.
Customer: I want the forms
Me: The gov't hasn't released them yet
Customer: Really?
If I had a dollar for every time I heard the word "really?" in a shocked, disbelieving tone, on a daily basis, I wouldn't need a paycheck for a few decades.
Really???
REALLY???!!!???
Really
Last tax year, the IRS had made some changes on one of the 1099 forms at the last minute. They finalized the form about 2 weeks before the Jan 31 electronic filing deadline (the company I worked at made a desktop software product to fill out and electronically file the 1099/W2 family of forms). So we had a lot of late nights when they finally got it released.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
lol, aint that the damned truth? /facepalm.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
I feel your pain!
:)
There's nothing quite like hearing that "really?" out of a customer because the sales person outright LIED to them so when I go to install a server they have 100% incorrect expectations of the capabilities of what they're getting.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
It took me 12 months to get the CEO and the Sales Staff on the same page so they'd stop doing that, despite multiple concise and brightly colored printouts detailing what was capable of which tasks in terms even the non-technically-minded person could easily grasp.
They were all shocked when the customer complaints essentially disappeared because they were actually checking in with me before selling something to a client.
>.<
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
Quote:
Originally Posted by Schezar
Print this out and point at it when they do that:Quote:
Originally Posted by aazdazen
http://images.memegenerator.net/inst...0x/9067749.jpg
http://memegenerator.net/instance/9067749
This is just the thread for this:
Mom: I can't get the washing machine to start. I push "start" and it goes "beep beebeebee beep".
Me: We've only had the washer for two years, you can't have killed it already. *walks to the basement, before even looking at it I say* Is the door closed?
Mom: Yes. *a pause, feet shuffling, I hear the door squeak open then the latch of the door shut, then the machine starts up.*
I deployed a new W7/64bit system on a user's desk on Friday. Due to call volume and the sheer amount of crap data she has on her existing system, I didn't get to finish all of the configuration I needed.
Today she comes to me with this:
User: I want all my bits back.
Me: Excuse me?
User: My new computer is 64-bit. With Windows 7. So it's using 7 bits. I want to use all my 64 bits.
That should be your new sig.Quote:
My new computer is 64-bit. With Windows 7. So it's using 7 bits. I want to use all my 64 bits.
:rofl:Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
omg that's as classic as the "cupholder" scenarios of old.
Regardless of what you do, you're probably going to earn this:
http://www.mages-tower.com/images/it...pchondriac.png
Spoiler for and because you're probably going to earn this one while earning that one...:
I should add that the whole list of achievements is available here for your perusal. I just chucked up a PHP script that displays them all instead of clicking on the directory.
I did not create all of these, they were created by a multitude of people on another forum. Yes, I know that some of them are repeated, I manually downloaded them without noticing whether or not grouped ones were. I'll fix it some day...maybe. :P
Merrick ap'Milandra, those are fucking HYSTERICAL!!! Thank you for sharing lol!
:rofl:
/dumb ON
But Merrick, I don't do drugs, so I can't use your PHP.
/dumb OFF
One of my other problem users has been sending emails to a customer whose company email system apparently doesn't like attachments.
So I keep finding emails in the group box spam folder saying "your email violates security policy due to an attachment, which has been stripped or removed".
I email the user.
Me: Hi, I noticed a bunch of security messages stating that emails you are sending to or receiving from this firm have blocked attachments. Are you sending attachments to someone who has an email address that ends in @lawoffice.com?
User: No, all the ones I send are with names to before the @.. but thanks for checking.
:rofl:Quote:
No, all the ones I send are with names to before the @
That's almost as good as the old lawyer joke:
Lawyer's got the Dr. on the Stand -- So tell me Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
"All of my autopsies are done on dead people".
I still get this one:
After some basic troubleshooting that is getting me nowhere.
Me: Have you tried to restart your computer yet?
User: All you tech guys always ask that, I'm not an idiot.
Me: But did you try it?
User: No.
We restart the system
User: Why does it work now?
I still get that one too, almost daily. It's even better when I get a customer on the phone and they haven't rebooted their PC in weeks, so can't do installs, and then it takes 20 minutes to come back because it's applying Windows Updates that never got applied due to not rebooting...Quote:
Originally Posted by valas
This one gets better.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
Me: *replying to user* Right, I understand you would send an email to "marysmith@lawoffice.com". Did you send any emails to OR receive emails from her today? And if so, were any of those emails supposed to have attachments? And if so, were those attachments still attached to the email when either you or she received them?
User: I have the emails in my folder, thanks for checking.
Where's my big green ogre when I need him? FFS.
Me: Hello, thank you for calling System Support, this is (me), how may I help you?
Caller: *accented* Yes, hallo, I am trying to reach Tech-a-nical support to find out how to measure the square footage of my mirror for a 10, 50, 100 square foot project in my home.
Me: Sir, I do apologize, but you've reached System Support for a tax software company. You would need to speak to a contractor or someone in construction for that.
Caller: You mean you not help me find my square footage for my mirror? Why are you tech-a-nical support?
Me: I do apologize sir, again but you've reached the wrong number.
He calls your line because the hold time is lower. Just like the guy who looks outside the theater for his wallet because it's not so dark out there.
actual comcast CDV tech support call I had once.
Customer: My phone is out, I have no dialtone.
Me: ok sorry about the trouble, can you check the black box that says Arris on it, usually found by the computer if you have our internet service.
Customer:*at least a minute later* Ok I found it and the lights on it are out but I cannot see the cord as the lights in this room do not work.
Me: Ok do you know where your circuit breakers are, sometimes they can pop if you overloaded that plug at some point.
Customer: no this happens every time it rains, the breakers for that whole side of the house pop and I have to wait until the rain stops for them to work again.
Me: I suggest that you call an electrical contractor.
Customer: But the phone is through you guys you can make it work without moving the box? because that is the only room with a cable wire.
*edit to above* what made me sad during that is that someone has a home that half of it shorts out during rain storms and their first instinct is to call the cable company any time that happens to complain about their telephone service going down.
Why are you surprised? Your technical support is free, electricians cost money.
Did someone already include a link to http://notalwaysright.com/ yet?
I have seen it now and wow I almost would think some of those are fake but having worked in customer service as long as I have I know people really are that dumb. I have seen high levels of customer stupidity at the supermarket I ship at. they will look at a cashier standing at a register with its light on and ask "is this lane open".Quote:
Originally Posted by Tangurena
back to that website I found this gem of a User calling support. looks too funny to be true but the sad thing is again people are that dumb.
Quote:
Customer: “So, I bought this printer from you and set it all up. My computer keeps saying ‘printer not found’.”
Me: “Well, that doesn’t sound right. Could you tell me what you have tried so far?”
Customer: “Well, I turned the screen towards the printer, but the computer still keeps telling me that it can’t find the printer…”
Maybe experience has tought them to ask, due the amount of times that a cashier simply shuts down its station and walks away when people are offloading their stuff on the band saying they are closing.Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
Had this one this morning as I was walking into the office from the parking lot.
User: I have a wireless mouse at my desk. It stopped working.
Me: Did you change the batteries?
User: It uses batteries?
Me: Yes, probably double or triple A. The thing that plugs into the bottom of the mouse is just for wireless communications.
User: You mean it's not the charger?
The mouse she was talking about was provided by the company, but it was a branded, mis-shapen piece of crap that would crash the mouse driver. I never used mine.
Thinking back, I'm recognizing now this might be why so many of the users threw theirs out - the batteries must have died. :rofl:
I first heard that one 12 years ago. I honestly believe it once happened somewhere, only because I've heard stories like this one, from an old coworker of mine who did phone support for Gateway years and years ago:Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
Yup, she was using the Mouse like an old sewing machine pedal. The computer wasn't even turned on.Quote:
Originally Posted by My Co-Worker Jeff
My brother tried to update Star Trek Online last night.
Bro: I log in, it starts to patch, then it blinks and stops and doesn't do anything.
Me: *knowing that I successfully patched it the night before on my own PC* There's no error or message at the bottom left?
Bro: No
Me: *I go look at it; there's a message at the bottom, account disallowed updating, please log into your account site for more information*. Dude, your account's cancelled.
User: My computer tells me I'm locked out.
Me: Did you change your password recently?
User: No. I know that you've been working on my new computer, did you have any problems?
Me: Yes, it told me your password of 'password2011' was incorrect, so I waited for you to get in to help me.
User: well of course that password is incorrect, I changed it yesterday.
New one for me today.
Customer: My <Unit> works manually fine, but doesn't work in <Local Operation>.
Me: Can you verify the control signals are present at <Location>?
Customer: Yes, they're there.
Me: OK then its most likely the <Control Board>.
Customer: Well, I have an identical unit right next to this one, and I already tried taking the <Control Board> out of it and put it in this one, and that seemed to fix it.
Me: Uhhhh.....*Thinking WHAT IN THE FUCK are you calling me for then?!* -Sounds like that was it then!
/boggle
Although I kinda wish more were like that lol.
:p
"HELP!
I'm trying to run this meeting and my laptop says "low Battery" what do I do?????'
Plug it in.
"IT IS!"
Pretty sure it's not.
"No it is plugged in. "
Is the little light on?
"No."
Then it's not plugged in.
"It is!"
I'll come over... --- Yeah, you have to plug in this end too.
lol so they didnt know it had to be plugged into the wall? and yet these people can hold jobs in major companies...
Then again if they are an MBA they likely only took a very basic class that told them how to find the big blue E on their desktop and that MS office is in the start menu.
Well, she knew it needed to be plugged in -- it was more of it got jumbled with all the other cables and then she panicked and her brain froze.Quote:
lol so they didnt know it had to be plugged into the wall? and yet these people can hold jobs in major companies...
Then again if they are an MBA they likely only took a very basic class that told them how to find the big blue E on their desktop and that MS office is in the start menu.
Coworker: I'm building a new system with a 64-bit processor and 12GB of memory, a high-end video card with 1.5GB RAM, multiple 2 terabyte hard drives for storage and an SSD for the OS.
Me: Okay...
Coworker: Is 90 bucks too much for Win7 32-bit?
Me: Why would you cripple that system with 32-bit windows?
Coworker: Because I'm worried about my games (Sims 3) not running under 64-bit.
Me: The only game I've had problems with under 64bit versus 32bit was Minecraft, but th...
Coworker: Oh, I know all about Minecraft. Blizzard being the biggest fish in the gaming sea right now though, I'm sure they worked out all the kinks. Why I remember back in the day we used to play Skycraft on the netlan...
that coworker sounds like someone that should not be building a computer but should instead order one from a system builder.
I just hope they intend to do more than the Sims with a monster system like that