Tales from Techsupport

Half of our calls so far this morning:

Caller: Hi, we just got back into our office after being out of it for 5+ days due to Sandy
Me: *insert appropriate sympathetic comments*
Caller: Yeah we were wondering, we're trying to get into our programs and getting *insert random "network not found" errors*
Me: Well that means there's a problem with your network
Caller: Oh so if my server is down, I can't use my programs which run from and store data on my network server?
Me: Um, no, sorry

Two people so far have asked us if we can contribute tech people to fixing their problems!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mileron

Caller: Oh so if my server is down, I can't use my programs which run from and store data on my network server?

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Of course you can. Just talk to your local support person. They will wave their magic data wand and it will all work.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Eremius

Of course you can. Just talk to your local support person. They will wave their magic data wand and it will all work.

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Last time I waved my magic data wand I had to have an awkward discussion with the local police and now I can't live within 5 miles of a school.

"The Cloud" is swirling around in a funnel shape!!!

[QUOTE=Mileron;1762385
Caller: Oh so if my server is down, I can't use my programs which run from and store data on my network server?

[/QUOTE]



It really is like magic to the mundanes.

10:12 last night I get a call from out-of-state Net Ops.

NT: Hi, we have been unable to connect to your site for over 20 minutes. Has there been a power outage?
Me: Well, considering there's a new storm dumping an inch of snow on us, I'd say you're probably on the right track.
NT: Well, could you go out to the site and verify power?
Me: No
NT: Why not?
Me: There's a storm, roads are terrible, oh and our site only has business hours from 8am to 7pm Eastern.
NT: So you aren't going to go check?

Sounds like the guy was having trouble printing out those new cover sheets for the TPS reports, yeah. OK, I'm going to have to ask you if you could go check the site, yeah...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mileron

10:12 last night I get a call from out-of-state Net Ops.

NT: Hi, we have been unable to connect to your site for over 20 minutes. Has there been a power outage?
Me: Well, considering there's a new storm dumping an inch of snow on us, I'd say you're probably on the right track.
NT: Well, could you go out to the site and verify power?
Me: No
NT: Why not?
Me: There's a storm, roads are terrible, oh and our site only has business hours from 8am to 7pm Eastern.
NT: So you aren't going to go check?

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Of course they figure you should drive even when state officials are saying to stay home. Because to them their access to a server matters more than life.

I have heard people complain their cable guy did not show up in the middle of a blizzard.

I bet if you told this guy the building was under several feet of water he would ask you to go verify it was actually flooded.

Sandy related one, the guy who sits next to me at work got a guy complaining about his tv reception when he was in an evacuation zone in NJ. Mind you, our group has nothing to do with tv at all, so we laughed about it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Schezar

Sandy related one, the guy who sits next to me at work got a guy complaining about his tv reception when he was in an evacuation zone in NJ. Mind you, our group has nothing to do with tv at all, so we laughed about it.

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Why no sir I cannot send you a tech. Did you not hear that Gov. Christie told you to get your ass out of the barrier islands?

User calls in.

Windows is saying that it is "Not Genuine".

I dig up the license key for that site from documentation and apply it.

Done Deal.

Another user from the same site calls in. Windows is "Not Genuine".

Odd.

Apply license key. All is good.

Another user calls in. Guess what? NOT GENUINE.

Hrm.

Pull report of all 140 machines on site complete with license keys being used.

Oh look. All but 12 of them are using the same license key.

Paste key into google on a whim.

EIGHT THOUSAND RESULTS WITH AN EXACT KEY MATCH.

Whoever deployed this site used a KNOWN PIRATED WINDOWS KMS LICENSE.

/facepalm

Sure enough, those 12 computers that aren't having the problem? Those are the only PC's with valid licenses.

The other machines are running a VL version of Windows 7 when they should be running an OEM version of Windows 7.

THESE PC'S CAME FROM THE MANUFACTURER WITH A BIOS-LOCKED VALID OEM LICENSE KEY AND SOMEONE FUCKING INSTALLED A VL VERSION WITH A PIRATED KEY ON ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY EIGHT WORKSTATIONS.

Everyone involved with this client's rollout has since quit.

Wow. Just... wow.

Over the last year, I've been pushing hard to get a new file/print server to replace our aging Compaq Proliant ML350, which has been running non-stop since late 2003.

We finally got a new server back in April. Due to politics and development roadblocks, we have been pretty much prevented from doing anything other than setting up extremely basic folders.

So with Hurricane Sandy, a series of power outages highlighted our need to migrate to this new server (since the old one refused several times to boot up.) I spoke with the VP of the office and manager of development, and my own counterpart, to schedule a "we need to do X Y Z before the office move" meeting in the very near future.

Yesterday, I sent an email to everyone in the office (and a few external users who would be affected) that in 10 days we would be moving all user-specific, non-application data to the new server as Phase 1 of the migration.

This email simply stated:

Quote:

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In coming weeks, we will be migrating user data from the current Home folder location to a new server.
This will occur on Monday, 11/26, at 8am.
At this time, your current existing data on your Home folder will be marked as Read Only, and you will be forced to save any new data to the NEW Home folder.

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As I'm walking to the break room this morning (after an emergency reboot of the afflicted server that took almost half an hour) I overhear one of the women in another group saying "Mileron sent this email, it's too long, what's he saying?"

Then another woman in that same group asked me to map the new (temporary) mapped drive, and when it mapped she instantly saw dozens of folders with usernames all created inside that new Home drive.
She then gets up, walks over to her manager and says, "Wow, have you seen this? Tech support has actually been busy for once"

too long? TOO LONG?

I have seen longer things posted into guild chat in back in the EQ days during a boss fight by the tank without any bounce in agro... and some dumbass in her cube cant read three lines while drinking her starbucks?

No, some dumbass in her cube can't be bothered to try to understand three lines while drinking her starbucks.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mileron

"Wow, have you seen this? Tech support has actually been busy for once"

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>.<

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mileron

She then gets up, walks over to her manager and says, "Wow, have you seen this? Tech support has actually been busy for once"

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Carpetmonkeys generally do nothing BUT busywork, no wonder she seemed impressed by what she mistakenly thought in her ignorance was an example of busywork. I bet she was almost as impressed as the time the lady in the next cube color coded the Accounts Payable files!

I mean, OBVIOUSLY you guys don't do anything all day long, because the network and connected systems are almost always functioning perfectly. :D

Because of Sandy, we ended up having problems with external calls being made into our non-Call Center lines, problems with internal users calling any external number.

They fixed that, but once they did, we've had a problem dialing any 800 number since 11/1. You get an error, then if you listen to it repeat 2-3 times, it usually connects you to that number.

I spent 3 days on the phone back and forth with Verizon. The guy tells me "dude, I don't even see those calls on my network, are you sure it's a Verizon circuit?"

Um well considering it's a verizon T1, yes

Anyway, today the original problem re-occurred. Now you can't dial any external number from non-Call Center phones, and you still can't call 800 numbers from Call Center phones, and people outside can't get into our office except through our 800 numbers, which naturally floods the Call Center.

I call the Global Help Desk, and also email the original contact from the start of the 800 number issue, and just now got an email from the India branch of the helpless desk.

"Could you current status of this please?"

So I reiterate the problem, breaking it down as above.

Then I get an email from the NYC folks, asking for another breakdown.

Oh look, here's a third... What's so hard to understand out of "My phones are FUCKED" ?

Sanitized to protect the terminally stupid

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Stupid Person

HR Person,
Do you know anything about this?
Is it junk mail? I got one in my personal e-mail box and in 2 of my customer service e-mail boxes. Following the link brought up a blank web page.
Thanks.

Idiot

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Yes, please open an email you are not sure about to see if it is something you should be opening... :banghead: