Tales from Techsupport

I had a good one today, I haven't had one of these in almost a decade:

"I don't know if you can hear this, but I'm getting a funny static noise in my phone."
*/me turns up headset volume*
*/me hears cellphone data transfer over the speaker*
*/me tries not to snicker*
Do you have a cellular phone nearby?
"Yeah, there's one right here in my purse."
Try moving that about ten feet away.
"Oh wow! The noise stopped! Will that work if I just zip my purse shut?"
No, the cell will need to be a fair distance away from your phone or the speaker will pick up the transmission noise.
"Oh. Okay! THANK YOU!"

I really thought everyone had figured that one out by now.
Are there still people out there who are mystified by the strange popping, pulsing, static noise that occurs in speakers when you have a cell phone nearby?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra

I really thought everyone had figured that one out by now.
Are there still people out there who are mystified by the strange popping, pulsing, static noise that occurs in speakers when you have a cell phone nearby?

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And desk fans (had one ex-coworker who kept one clipped to the top of his monitor and always bitched when the screen wobbled), stand-alone speakerphone units, headsets, space heaters...
Oh yeah. I still get that. Have even had to ask customers to move their cellphones away from the speakerphone when they insist they need to type with two hands.

Quote:

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I really thought everyone had figured that one out by now.
Are there still people out there who are mystified by the strange popping, pulsing, static noise that occurs in speakers when you have a cell phone nearby?

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Just last year I believe it was I got called up to our board room during a board meeting because of that...

I said it's interference from a cell phone... ...

I took my iphone out of my pocket started Safari & held it near one of the mic's -- dah-dit-dah-dah-dit-dit...bzzzzzzz.....

immediately after said demonstration one board memeber looked me right in the eye and said "I don't know if we accept that explanation"....

I walked out of the room.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Melcar

immediately after said demonstration one board memeber looked me right in the eye and said "I don't know if we accept that explanation"....

I walked out of the room.

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I would have been sorely tempted to retort: "It might save some time if you told me the things that you DO know."

I just had a user email me to tell me they were going to tape the password to the laptop...

Wow...

HEH! He has the biometric reader and he taped his thumb to the laptop.

"Help help help, I accidentally clicked the history button in <Program> and it usually locks up the program."

Ok, did it?

"no it didn't."

Great, glad I could help.



I think I'm burnt out... People make me cranky...

Get a call from a customer who uses an unsupported platform (Windows 7 via Parallels on Mac):

Caller: Hi, I wiped out my Windows install
Me: So restore your virtual hard drive from your last backup
Caller: I wiped out my backup hard drives as well
Me: Did you have any other backup of your data?
Caller: No
Me: Then you need to start fresh.
Caller: You mean you can't replace the data for me?

Quote:

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You mean you can't replace the data for me?

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Sure, let me just snap my fingers &....

That work?

No-huh? well, that was my last resort... You'll have to start fresh.

Yep, it's quite amazing what people expect out of The Last of the Magicians. Le sigh.

Sent out an email to a portion of the subscriber base today for a product release.

Caller: I got your email
Me: I'm glad to hear it, were you able to install the program?
Caller: Yes
Me: Alright, well then what can I help you with?
Caller: It don't work
Me: Unfortunately you'll need to be more specific
Caller: It says it can't find a specific module (common problem if it's installed wrong)
Me: Well we'll need to reinstall it to the correct path location on your network
Caller: Okay, let me find your email
Me: I can give you the website
Caller: NO! I NEED THE EMAIL, I DON'T WANT YOUR STUPID WEBSITE, I WANT TO CLICK IT AND NOT TYPE IT

I want this migraine to go away, and every call just keeps making it worse.

Caller: I restored a client file from backup, but keep getting the same error as before I restored it
Me: What if you restore from a backup prior to the one you had restored from?
Caller: My IT dept won't do that
Me: Well...
Caller: I need you to fix the one I have
Me: Then email me a zipped copy of the file
Caller: I'm trying to get into my C: drive but my computer is frozen. IT does this a lot when I have too many programs open.
Me: How many programs do you have open?
Caller: Just excel
Me: ...

Coworker: My monitor doesn't work
Me: What did you do now?
Coworker: Nothing, I was just cleaning my desk
Me: *I go over to his desk, and find the monitor power cord on the floor, instead of connected to the monitor* Well, your monitor's disconnected.
Coworker: Oh, yeah, I disconnected it, I had too many wires going through the wire hole. Is that why it didn't work?

"Yeah, so I can't get logged in & now it says my account is locked."

Ok, now it's unlocked, try again for me.

"this is weird when I type it puts in more characters then I type".

Ok, restart the computer, let us know if it happens after the reboot.

"yes4 when4 I type4 it puts4 in4 the4 number4 4."


I'll be over to check it out...
- Unplug the USB keyboard, plug it back in - problem persists, and then I notice the sticky spots.

Did you spill something on this?

"what? ummmm, why are you asking?"

well there's sticky stuff...

"well, ok yeah... I did yesterday."

Don't you think if you'd have told me that right off the bat you could have saved a little time... Like the restart & the unplug and plug back in, and 2 phone calls, and now me going back to my office to get a new keyboard?

Get 2 keyboards, the one you bring will just end up wrapped around coworkers head.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mileron

Coworker: My monitor doesn't work
Me: What did you do now?
Coworker: Nothing, I was just cleaning my desk
Me: *I go over to his desk, and find the monitor power cord on the floor, instead of connected to the monitor* Well, your monitor's disconnected.
Coworker: Oh, yeah, I disconnected it, I had too many wires going through the wire hole. Is that why it didn't work?

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I think you just won the thread.

"My sent items are not going into my sent items folder"

Yes, they are. You're looking at the "Deleted Items" folder. The "Deleted Items" folder is NOT the "Sent Items" folder, which should be fucking apparent due to the fact that it says "Deleted Items" and not "Sent Items".

You are an attorney, you should be able to tell the difference by FUCKING READING THE LABEL.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae

I think you just won the thread.

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Yeah, that got my vote.

I sent out a laptop to a remote user in October 2011. I get a call from that remote user this morning.

User: So I finally got around to opening the laptop you sent me. I tried to turn it on, and the battery was dead. I think the laptop needs to be replaced. Why did you send me a bad laptop?
Me: Did you plug in the power cord?
User: It has a battery, why would I need to do that?

luser:Hi we're trying to send a audio file over email to a contractor for transcription. and we get this error message.... what does it mean."
Me:well, it means the file size you're sending is to large for the remote server to handle.
luser:But this person handles big files from other people - it MUST be on your end.
Me:Our maximum outbound size is 100MB - far larger then practically everybody else out there; here watch me send a 25mb file to gmail (their max.) see works perfect. I can send your 15MB file out too. It's not my problem.

3 days later:

luser: . I just wanted to let you know I chatted with the gal we e-mail some audio recordings to for her to help us type on the weekends. She says she does the same with other departments and they send very large files and she never has a problem get them from those other departments. So, she does not think that the large file is the problem. She firmly believes it is something on our end because we are the only ones she has problems receiving things from. Just mentioning it so we can see if there is anything else we can check into.


15 seconds with google and <ISP name and max email size> comes back with: "max size 10mb"...



luser: Thanks for the info we'll let her know.