Knew his squad leader :PQuote:
Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae
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Knew his squad leader :PQuote:
Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae
Alikat Likes this comment.
Be careful what you wish for.Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
Someone said something similar about the whole "never picking up the phone" portion of things to the MIS at a previous job. The man had 2 masters degrees, an MBA, and was working on at least two more degrees in something or other, but he took it as a challenge.
...and started answering level 1 helpdesk calls, figuring that since he'd been MANAGING various call centers for years, he could totally handle it.
He took THREE calls over the next half hour before those three clients all independantly called the people they knew in middle management to say that this "new employee" was enough to make them seriously consider cancelling their contracts with us.
Middle management had to literally HAUL him off of the phones by calling an "emergency meeting" that they "absolutely had to have him there for" to discuss something entirely inconsequential.
As they went to the conference room, my boss sent the rest of us employees an e-mail ordering us to take the phones and computers off of all of the empty desks in the NOC so he couldn't just suddenly decide to start taking calls again.
THAT I firmly agree with.Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
If you're going to manage a team, you should know their work/duties/roles in and out.
Then I'm covered. (and FTFY)Quote:
Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae
Customer: I'm getting so frustrated at this. I've been trying to use your site for two fucking days to reset my password and I still have yet to receive an email.
Me: Which username are you resetting?
Customer: Bjones
Me: I'm looking in the list of users for your account and there is no "bjones". There's "bonniejones"...
Customer: ... Oh. Really? there's typing Ooooooohhhh. Maybe that's why it didn't work.
Somewhere, some poor bjones is trying to log in and wonder why s/he is locked out or getting reset emails...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
You'd enjoy thinking that, but in actuality, that is the social media manager for the facebook group of BJ Ones, who is now wondering, "oh fuck! Did our members start charging enough over craigist to get 1099'd?!"
Cue fb memo out to all members," which one of you dumb fucks has been providing receipts to their clients! "
We (our program) interface with a third party info-sharing service.
Our app downloads information from them and presents it to the user.
For the last two weeks our app has been reporting constant communication errors.
The error log simply states HTTP 1.1/500 server errors, and refers to the IP with which the app is communicating.
We provided the error log to the third-party service's developers and said "you have a communication problem."
They said - for two full weeks - "no we don't" - until someone decided to actually run a test and found out hey, they have a big circuit problem, and they had to pull some circuits offline.
Except they're still getting the errors on the remaining IP.
They keep saying "there's no longer any issues" - and yet, my app keeps reporting the same errors, this time referring to their last remaining functioning IP.
And it's occurring for several dozen customers.
Now they want us to tell them how to fix their problem.
Last I checked, I'm not an internet-based content delivery provider.
Customer: I can't finish this troubleshooting tonight, I have an appointment in a half hour.
Customer's coworker in the background: Come on guuuurrrrrllll, we gotta get our DRINK ON
Ran in to this little gem today hanging on someone's bulletin board in their office:
Attributed to himself.Quote:
The only way to achieve 100% profitability is to do things 100% correct
I really need to move on.
What the hell is that even supposed to mean?
I mean, not only is it demonstrably false (If your company makes incandescent light bulbs that last 20+ years each, you're doing things VERY correctly...and you'll be out of business in no time), it's also one of the more idiotic things I've heard.
I CAN FIX THIS!
Quote:
The only way to achieve 100% profitability is to overcharge.
What the hell is this guy's position? Accountant 1?Quote:
Originally Posted by Eremius
Depends on what they mean by doing things 100% correct.
from a business angle 100% correct could mean HP's business model. dirt cheap printers and expensive as hell ink.
From a business angle they do it 100% correct, They rope you in with the device being cheap and then when you need replacement ink they rob you like you wandered into the wrong part of Camden at night.
If only...Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris
You are thinking far, far harder than he did coming up with this.Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
"Mister Shopkeeper, I'd like this on account."
"Oh, you have an account with us?"
"On account of I ain't got no money."
Tech: So here's what's occurring for the user
Me: Okay
Tech: The user's back at her desk, let me go down there
Me: Okay
2 minutes later
User: I'm getting an error when opening the program stating "Number of users exceeded"
Tech: Son of a shit... I left it open on my computer
Tech spends the next FIFTEEN MINUTES configuring Citrix to log back into his own computer to close the program, instead of spending the four minutes to walk to his desk and back
Genius!
That sounds like the punchline of an XKCD strip.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
Customer put me on hold
They had hold music instead of muzak
I realized it was the piano love theme from Twilight
Okay, I can deal, it was a decent piece
Oh, wait, it's not ending... it's the same 15-20 seconds from the piece...
blah, never mind, I'd rather hear muzak
Sometimes no matter what they play, they fade it out every ten seconds to run the same "WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH AND ARE TOTALLY NOT CHEATING ON YOU, PLEASE STAY ON THE LINE" message super loud. Then every third time they switch it up with "DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU COULD DO THIS SHIT ONLINE? GOOD LUCK FINDING YOUR SPECIAL PASSWORD THOUGH, DIPSHIT HA HA"
that sounds kinda sad considering it cannot be that hard to just have a way to interface a radio to the hold music input. If you use a broadcast station I doubt you can be ASCAP'd I know of more than a few smallish businesses that do the local radio hold thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
Yep. I just wish they would increase the times between messages. Give me some semblance of enjoyment for being on hold. Those damn messages drive me fucking nuts.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae
It is illegal, just like sling tv. I know. Bullshit.Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
My team facilitates a change management call twice a week. They read through a script at the start of the meeting that includes "Please do not put this call on hold. Drop the call or mute it instead." Due to the fact that when someone places the call on hold there is a beep that happens every few seconds to let you know that you are on hold. So when someone places the call on hold the entire meeting of 20-30 people has to listen to the beeping and the only way to stop it is for the host to drop the call and set it back up again.
At least once a month there is someone who does this. I swear they do it just to troll the meeting. I've spoken to the phone guys about this and they insist that there is nothing that can be done.
Rebroadcasting without a license is always illegal.Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
I would have never thought of hold as rebroadcast. More just an extension of the in store system and that you can use FM for. Small businesses play FM all the time.
Edit...
Went and googled it since I have free time... Seems you can only play the radio if your customer space is 3700 sqft or less.
Using Internet Explorer to open larger XML files is like watching someone stripmine in Minecraft by punching.
Even small ones is horrible and makes you wish you had remembered to set your defaults to note pad or wordpad.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
Wait, are we still talking about xml files or just using IE/Edge in general?Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
Well I am guessing he was meaning people trying to view XML files in their code form rather than what they do.
Tech: I'm getting an error indicating "database file read error" on dozens of database files
Me: An error that wide spread usually only has two causes. Did the user's computer crash yesterday?
Tech: No
Me: fifteen minutes later The errors you're getting are due to dozens of 0-kb database files. This is only caused by a computer crash or a virus. Did either of those happen yesterday?
Tech: Oh yeah the customer's PC crashed
Uh huh
Tech: I'm getting error messages when using this program
Me: Those error messages indicate you have the wrong version of .NET. You need to run .NET 4.5.2 minimum to function. What version are you running?
Tech: Let me check. Minutes later... Wow sometimes Add Remove Programs moves so slow
Me: Wait, "Add Remove Programs" ? That means you're running Windows XP
Tech: Right, what's wrong with that?
Me: Microsoft ceased supporting Windows XP in April 2014. We too stopped supporting Windows XP for running our programs at the same time, and testing of our programs ceased in that OS as well. Further, Windows XP only supported .NET framework version 4 and lower. Thus, version 4.5.2 will not even install on this computer, making our software incompatible and unsupported.
Tech: Well how was I supposed to know?
Me: Sir, it's almost three full years since Microsoft stopped supporting XP. It's not a new thing to worry about.
One place I worked, it would actually put the company's hold message out to the entire call.Quote:
Originally Posted by Balthis
The telecom guys had to open up bridge moderation to a whole crapload of people so you could fire up the webpage, see who was the idiot who put the bridge on hold, and kick them from the call.
Although, my all time favorite was the time, on a call of about 200 people, someone walks into the bathroom, unzips, and starts taking a leak for all to hear.
Oh man, I never would have caught that. I've been typing "appwiz.cpl" into a command prompt since windows 2000 and never bothered to read the specific naming conventions for the various versions of the GUI element.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
I am reminded of that scene in "The Naked Gun: Files From Police Squad" where Frank was testifying in court or something and still has the wireless lav mic on and heads to the restroom...Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
There is no .Net 4.5 framework for XP?
Appears to be correct. MS site shows 4.0 for XP, but min system requirement for 4.5 is Win 7.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae
Blizzard just ended its XP support for WoW.
Now it is well and truly dead then. I have a laptop set up with a triple boot installed, the main one is Win7, then there are two installations of XP, a Service Pack 2 and a Service Pack 3. I wanted SP1 and SP3, but the laptop's XP drivers would only work for SP2.
I use the XP installs for legacy stuff, old hardware and software that just doesn't work right with Vista/7/8/10. Like the C-Media Duo XP and its drivers.
I suspect a huge factor in the Blizzard decision is it means they no longer have to bug test against DX9 and DX11. cut off XP and you can make it all DX11. I am sure people will cry and moan but honestly if you are still gaming on XP its time to upgrade anyway because odds are an XP machine runs the game like shit anyway.
I received an email this morning from a customer who took a screenshot of an error, pasted it into Word, took a screenshot of that, pasted it into Word, printed it, scanned it to PDF, and emailed it to me.
Sigh.
Could have been worse...Quote:
I received an email this morning from a customer who took a screenshot of an error, pasted it into Word, took a screenshot of that, pasted it into Word, printed it, scanned it to PDF, and emailed it to me.
Sigh.
Could have been a fax.
A fax they did not warn you they were sending and sent it to a department across the building.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
Speaking of faxes, our phone system sends voice mails to each persons email as an attachment, and we found (by accident) that when someone sends a fax to the phone number it will convert it to a PDF and send that to their email, so long as they don't answer the call. Not that I get faxes, but that seems like a pretty cool feature that they didn't really advertise when we bought the system. I am guessing now that many VoIP systems will actually do the same, but I don't know for sure.
Customer: My tax return was created for 2016
Me: Okay
Customer: I need it retrograded to 2014
Me: It doesn't work that way
Customer: Come on, it's just databases, swap it back to 2014
Me: It doesn't work that way, you need to recreate it for 2014
Customer: But when I created it, I put it in for 2014, it just came out as 2016
Me: Then you'll need to recreate it
Customer: But it took me over two and a half hours to wait for the ticket to get answered for the creation
Me: So you didn't create it
Customer: No, my tax desk did
Me: Then someone made an assumption, perhaps thinking that you entered the wrong date, and created it wrong.
Customer: So, just change the date
Me: Still not something I'm able to do.
Customer: So what do I do now?
Me: Resubmit a ticket to your tax desk and add a note drawing attention to the correct date
Customer: Why would I need to do that?
Me: They already messed it up once...
Customer hadn't restarted his computer in 38 days and was having problems with installations
Customer: Why does everyone tell me to restart my computer when I'm in the middle of using it?
Me: Because you don't restart it when you're not.
Why not play WoW on 7?Quote:
Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae
You can also use XP Mode in Win7 instead of running a parallel install, I've done that for a LOT of legacy hardware/software.
The only tricky part is making sure you remember to pass-through the ports once you launch XP Mode.
99% of the time it's a right pain in the ass the first time you set it up, but MOST of the rest of the time, it remembers when XP Mode is "sleeping".
It's a FANTASTIC feature, but in many VOIP systems it requires an additional license, so I don't often see it as a regular buy, except in certain industries.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonlainy
I've also seen some where it comes automatically, but has to be enabled on the VOIP server for each external DID.
Yup. Lots of devices can do lots of things, but you have to factor in costs and CPU usage. Adding a feature like that might be nice, but if it's buggy, or your switches are near capacity as is, you might be looking at hundreds of thousands or millions in sunk costs and extra headcount to support it long term.Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
And these days honestly adding CPU power, RAM and Storage is likely cheaper than some licenses at the enterprise level.
Hell on routing hardware I would not be surprised if the license for the code on a Cisco router is worth more than the stuff in the box running it.
Four weeks ago:
Coworker: That's it, I've had it, this is the eleventh customer in a week that I've helped who has gotten a brand new computer and needed help with a deep install and I know it's random but it sucks!
Three weeks ago:
Coworker: Seriously guys, this is getting old, I've had three or four each day for three days this week and... (blah blah)
:evilidea:
We're off tomorrow...
Me: Hey, listen, I've got a customer whose coworker received a new computer, and you did such a good job earlier this month helping them get set up with a different new computer, he was hoping to get your help again...
Coworker: You can see the dejected look on his face Okay... I guess... I'll take it... what's the case number
Me: 04012017
Coworker: Thanks, I'll take a look
Five minutes go by
Coworker: Hey that case doesn't come up
Me: No, but it'll come up... tomorrow... :evil:
Coworker: :wtf:
Me: Dude, seriously. Look at the numbers.
Coworker: ... really
Attachment 5318
At least he's still over there laughing
Coworker: Yeah I'm trying to help this guy understand that he's not going to be able to install the programs into his 2k3 server or, if he does, certain features won't work, but he's not listening, you want to talk to him?
Me: Sure, I was looking forward to a challenge today
Tech: Yeah, hi, that last guy had no idea what he was talking about, he kept telling me that I can't install Microsoft .NET 4.5 onto a Windows 2k3 server. All my users are using your software on a 2k3 terminal server and I just want to update
Me: You can't. You need a new server.
Tech: What?
Me: You can't. You need a new server. Server 2k3 and XP only support revisions of 4.0. Our software no longer supports being used in those environments, and has not for nearly 2 years and nearly 3 years respectively. You need a new server.
Tech: I don't understand
Me: Which part?
Tech: What you just said
Me: Microsoft stopped supporting Windows XP in April 2014. We stopped supporting usage of our programs in that OS at the same time. Further, we stopped testing the products in that. Additionally, as the programs have been consistently updated throughout necessary technological enhancements needed to meet certain requirements, we've needed to move certain subsystems of the software to Microsoft .NET 4.5.2. This means that, since you are running 2k3 as your server OS, Microsoft also no longer supports that OS as of June 2015. Coincidentally, Server 2k3 is not compatible with .NET 4.5.2, and thus any logins accessing our program on that server will not be able to use the features of the program that require the framework.
Tech: I still don't get it
Me: You need a new server
Tech: That's all? Well I got an extra Win7 desktop I'll just use for it instead. I ain't quoting this guy for a new server, he won't pay for a server for 30 people.
:wtf:
I have no sympathy for XP clingers, MS extended support like three times. If someone cannot CapEx in that time fuckem.
Seriously if some of these customers had their way the software makers would still be having to have DOS versions
And don't forget, every time you get an invoice from Cisco for a new license, there's the added line item for "CIA Monitoring" of said feature!Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
Now *THAT* was a quality april fool's joke.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
ROFL.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
Good luck with that!
Even if he has Win7 Ultimate, that only allows 20 concurrent connections.
Fun fact, that's ALL types of connection, so basically they'll realistically be able to have 5 users, at most, using the program at once.
Customer: I have about 9 other people in the office who need this same fix. Can you webex onto each of their computers and take care of that?
Me: How about explicit step by step instructions?
[b]Customer: You can do that?
:wtf:
Maybe the 13 hour days are getting to me.
Me: May I have your email address so that I may alert you to the change?
Customer: Yes
Customer: Hello? Are you there?
Me: Yes, I'm here. Could you please tell me email address?
Customer: Yes
Customer: Hello? Are you there?
Me: Yes, I'm here. You are saying that I may have your email address but you are not giving it to me. Could you please give me your email address?
Customer: Yes
Customer: Hello? Are you there?
:wtf:
Technical writers have somehow convinced the general public that programming and technical writing are mutually exclusive talents.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
Tech: So I installed your software
Me: Okay
Tech: Got it running and licenses squared away and all and it was working fine for me
Me: Okay (Where's the "gotcha")
Tech: And I realized before I made it available to my users that I didn't want to cause any problems with any existing data that they might have
Me: Okay
Tech: So I (paraphrased from ten minutes of description and remote demonstration) frankensteined your install and shoehorned it into the way I wanted it to look so as not to endanger the data for other years
Me: ... I'm sorry, you did what?
Tech: Yeah, now the program doesn't work.
I can't imagine why :wtf:
Words and numbers are starting to not have meaning.
I just stared at an email address for a solid fifteen to twenty seconds thinking, "damn, someone really misspelled that phone number."
Customer: How do I print a PDF?
Me: Is it that you want to print a PDF out to paper, or that you want to turn a document on screen into a PDF?
Customer: I have a PDF, how do I print it?
Me: ... Open the PDF, then go to file - Print
Customer: No no, that's not right at all
Dumb it down even more: "See the little picture of the floppy disc? Click that!"
So when my counterpart retired at the beginning of March, he left me with a metric fuckton of "not my problem anymore". I've cleaned up almost all of it.
One customer though, he'd been having deferred server transitions since October, because their environment is just that fucked up. And since March, I've had this big red mark on my calendar saying "Migration, 4/22, 8am to 12pm". I told them in advance, "With the programs you've got, and the data present, you've got a few gigs of data at least, so allow a few hours to copy." I got brushed off.
So I've been logged in since 5am, doing the last minute stuff I need to do to allow that all to happen.
At 7:40, I get an email saying "The file copy hasn't completed. We'll email you when we're ready."
They finally call me at 9:10.
C1: Well, the robocopy finished.
Me: Okay
C2: Except we're seeing the two primary data folders listing zero files
Me: Well... then the robocopy didn't finish
C2: Our resource says it did
C1: I told you that the file sizes looked wrong
Me: How so?
C1: The new folder structure, when compared to the old one, is missing 30% of its file count
Me: Yeah, that's a pretty big "not finished" in my mind
So we spend the next 45 minutes going back and forth, via chat, with the "resource" that they've got, who keeps saying "we used robocopy". When I asked for the syntax of the command used, they refused to share it.
WTF. Seriously?
So now I "get" to wait until noon, and then I "might" get next Saturday scheduled away from me. :angry:
That feeling :hulk: when you foresee every single problem a customer is going to have, provide every single step to resolve them in advance, and they call you anyway.
For each. and every. single. one.
Separately.
:ohreally:
Note to self: If a brand new, out of the box hard drive gives "virtual disk management error: cyclic redundancy check failed" while trying basic file system initialization, do not waste time trying it on two additional computers and a USB SATA bridge.
Just box the fucker up and take it back.
Tech: When my users are running the program, they're getting errors "cannot write to INI file"
Me: Are their permissions correct?
Tech: Yes
Me: When did this start?
Tech: Today
Me: Did anything change?
Tech: No
Do a remote session, and trying to directly edit said INI file and save it prompts a "Save As" window, which tells me something's going on with permissions or read only attributes. Except, the folder and its contents are not read only, and the tech claims there's nothing wrong with the permissions. We can create a brand new text file with no issues, and edit it, and delete it. But editing any other file inside those folders - any INI, Doc, RTF, etc - that was in the folder before the call can simply not be edited. Always prompts "save as".
Me: This is typically due to a permissions change or a read-only attribute being set somehow. You're going to have to have the permissions on your server backend checked because, even though your security window here shows it's correct, you as the admin are unable to edit these files either. I'm not going to take the information it displays at face value. Please have this more deeply examined from the server level and let us know if you have any questions.
5 days go by (including a weekend), and my manager's hounding me to close the ticket. I email the guy.
Me: Hi, please update me on the status, were you able to discover anything or rectify the problem with the users' inability to use the programs whereby they were getting "unable to write to INI file" upon opening the program?
Tech: What do we need to rectify on our end?
.... :ohreally:
IT Administrator Account keeps getting locked out, like, every two minutes.
Boss hands me the ticket and says "This has been going on for a really long time. Fix it".
Okay, fine. First thing I do is load up Netwrix Account Lockout Examiner (Great tool, btw).
Huh, it says "FreeRDP" is locking the account.
Me: "Hey boss, something's hammering that server on the RDP port from the WAN."
Boss: "That's impossible, besides, how would it get that account name, we created that specifically for ourselves."
Me: "Well, yeah, I guess, but..."
Boss: "Keep looking. Elsewhere."
Unwilling to give up on what I'm already absolutely certain is the correct answer, I disobey my boss and place a phone call.
Me: "Hey network guy, are they forwarding port 3389 to the domain controller?"
NG: "No! Don't be ridiculous. Why would anyone do THAT?!? It's just asking for trouble."
Me: Hrm... "Well, would you be kind enough to check the rules anyway, PLEEEEEASE?"
NG: "Harumph, Yeah, fine. Rule. Rule. Rule. Rule. Rule. Rule. Rule. Nope, no rule set for 3389."
Me: "Okay, I guess it has to be coming from inside the network somewhere, I'll start digging around."
I guess if it was INSIDE the network, it WOULD explain how something had the account name of our extremely unique technician account.
I dig through event logs and find nothing.
I do a netstat -ano > netstat.txt.
Wow. Look at that! An external WAN IP hammering 3389.
*Call up Network Guy*
Me: "Is the firewall actually blocking ANYTHING or is it wide open? Because I'm seeing traffic from an address in Flint, Michigan hammering the snot out of ONLY THE DOMAIN CONTROLLER on 3389."
NG: "I *told* you, the only forwarding rules here are for *piece of software* on this port, a rule for *piece of software* on this port, a rule for Allow* on ports 1025 - 5000, a rule for..."
Me: "But nothing for 3389?"
NG: "That's what I said."
Me: "Umm, okay, could you repeat that last one from right before I interrupted you, please?"
NG: "Fine. It's a rule for Allow All on ports 1025 through fiv...e...t..h..o..u..s..a..SHIT."
Me: "And it's forwarding to..."
Unison: "...the domain controller's IP."
Me: "And we need 4,075 WAN ports forwarded directly to the PDC because....?
NG: "We don't."
Me: "Right, can we ditch that, please?"
NG: "...yeah. I'm on it."
Me: "Thanks, man."
OH LOOK, THE ACCOUNT LOCKOUTS STOPPED!
:rofl: :banghead:
To be fair, we inherited this client when they fired their IT guy and decided to go with managed services, but apparently nobody double-checked things during the onboarding process.
Did you run a whois on the Flint domain? Then zoom in on sector 4-B and enhance?
Do you need a tray table for your couch position while you watch criminal minds, miss alikat?Quote:
Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae
The chicken pot pie is almost due to come out of the oven.
:P
This place is sooOOoOoOoOoOoOo fucked up with regards to any level of standardization.
"grown organically" is code for "never fixed our broken shit" and want to expand more because "money" (due to non-technical people running the company) and as a result we'll never fix things.
I love the people I work with, but I have a serious task ahead of me with regards to gently presenting things we could do that would change the paradigm.
IF ANYONE EVER SAYS "IT IS WHAT IT IS" AGAIN IN MY FACE, I"M GOING TO START BREAKING THE LANGUAGE POLICY AT MASSIVE VOLUME.
WAY TO SURRENDER TO INERTIA YOU DICKBAG BENCHRIDERS!
PROOF
OF
CONCEPT
It's not hard.
You diagram out savings in man-hours and benefits in features and....
OH MY MOTHERFUCKING GASP
PARDON ME WHILE I FAINT AS THOUGH I WERE WEARING A WHALEBONE CORSET CINCHED TOO TIGHTLY!!! PROACTIVE WORK SAVES MAN-HOURS!!!!!
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE SAVES MAN HOURS AND TICKETING NUMBERS?
ONBOARDING ASSAYS.
ACTUALLY RESEARCHING THE ENVIRONMENT AS A WHOLE BEFORE SIGNING A GODDAMNED MRR CONTRACT.
I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH --
================================================== ==========================================
ANYONE WHO IS SHOPPING FOR A NEW PROVIDER IS ALREADY FUCKED BEYOND RECOGNITION BY THEIR EXISTING/OLD ONE
================================================== ==========================================
I *LOVE* the fact that I get to experience all kinds of configurations while working for a manged services provider, but the massive inability to organize, whether it's 212 (the final degree!) Traction, and any other level of shit where people claim that excellence is motivational while it's actually asymptoptic pisses me right the fuck off.
Sales people build companies, but they need to listen to technical resources.
The entitled-ass shorts-wearing fair-weather golf enthusiasts taking off at noon on a thursday for tee time need five across the fucking eyes.
Did any of you have to deal with this today?
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-39907965
All sciencing must be done rapidly and to a hard-driving techno song. Otherwise you wind up with a monster every time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
Customer: When I print out my tax reports in just such a way, I get constant error messages
Me: What do you mean by "just such a way" ?
Customer: You know. A way
Me: No, I'm afraid I don't I'm opening the app to see what she means
Customer: One by one
Me: I'm sorry?
Customer: sighs expansively as if I'm a fucktard I start at the top, select the first report, and print it. Then I go back and print the second one. And I keep going until I get an error. And then I have to close the program, reopen it, and pick up where I left off.
Me: What's the error message?
Customer: Something something print options memory space something.
Me: I recognize it. When printing, the program prepares a bunch of "temporary" calculated files for purposes of printing. The error happens when trying to print too many times from the same initial "print attempt". Each additional report generated appends the temp files and sometimes they just get massive. It's not intended to be used like this and I only run into it once a year.
Me: May I make a suggestion?
Customer: If you tell me the same thing the last bitch did, I'm gonna hang up on you.
Me: I'm not sure to whom it was you spoke, but we don't have any of those staffing our phones. Additionally, I don't know what anyone might have told you, because there's no prior ticket based on this particular question. In any case, have you tried using "Select All Reports" ?
Customer: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU ARE THE FOURTH PERSON WHO TOLD ME TO DO THAT!! I HATE THE WAY THAT IT LOOKS WHEN I PRINT THEM ALL TOGETHER. I HATE HAVING TO FLIP THROUGH THE PAGES TO SORT THEM. IT IS A WASTE OF MY FUCKING TIME!!
Customer: slamclick
:wtf:
Or he could just wait until the first print job for the first report is finished before starting the second one.
And customers wonder why CS people hate them.
They get told there is a way to do it without a problem but it HAS to be their way.
Well at least fire does not have tech support otherwise you would get "Why is this fire so hot I want cooler fire"
Mondays.
"The landscapers will charge us too much to cut this apart. "
Fuckin Ahttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...ef1cb106a2.jpghttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...d4aa387d23.jpg
Sent from my 1+3t
on a side note, Holy shit those are narrow parking spots. I mean sure its an Econoline but really those are narrow as hell spots, an Impala would be a tight fit.
Thing is if that van is damaged the company that owns the complex could be in a heap of shit with the van owner's insurance. If they find out the bean counters denied a request for tree trimming you can bet the car insurance will go after the complex's property insurance.
In the past, our team of arborists (separate entity) have been held liable for signing off on stuff that has fallen that they did not trim.
I imagine that this should be no different.
Sent from my 1+3t
Welcome to CA, here is your parking space meant for a Yugo. I don't know if this is even close to any truth, but it seems like CA allows for smaller spaces hoping it will be like s subliminal message to get a smaller car, with better gas mileage. It just seems to be how CA thinks. But fuck'em, I drive my F-150 and try to park as far away from other vehicles as I can. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
That is crazy because I have a small car that would be a tight fit. Well the Cruze is sold as a small car at least.
Same here.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonlainy
I park my Tundra, generally, as far as I can from any entrance which I am headed to, and if it is at all possible, i Park endo, hood facing out.
I can't stand poor parkers, and it's always the smallest cars are driven by the poorest parkers.
Someone who drives a smart will somehow take up two spots.
I can't deal with that, and if I am done being parked, i am getting out with the fewest hurdles. I need that instant gratification.
People also don't know how to parallel park in SoCal.
Sent from my 1+3t
The driving test from the DMV in CT does not even include parallel parking.
Here in NJ the more expensive the car the worse the parking job and they always do it as close as possible to the store... Handicap parking users are the absolute worst though daily I see someone 3/4 into the hash marks between the blue spots. They do not get they potentially are preventing a van from extending it's lift.
There is a joke (not necessarily a funny one) in SF, that people park by touch.
When some parallel parks, they tend to move forward and backwwrd until they touch the car in front of them.
I parallel park at home every single day, and to my credit, I have only thrice touched another car while doing so with my own.
Did you say fire?Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EBfxjSFAxQ
I use a group mailbox in Outlook as part of my daily workflow.
Once or twice a year there's this issue that pops up where suddenly the "number if items" in the box is 3 more than the actual number of items present.
In years past, this would engender a Help Desk ticket, and it would be fixed inside of a couple hours.
This time around, it's been almost a full month. It's not a big problem really for me, since I am one of two people that accesses the box and is cognizant of the issue. But when I get continuous emails from my manager who doesn't seem to understand that this is a systemic problem and that the indicated three emails that don't exist don't actually fucking exist it gets a little tiresome.
So I'm on the phone with an Exchange engineer trying to figure out my email issue.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
We're on a webex and he's got my email set up on an alternate profile so that, when opening Outlook, it loads only the separate group mailbox.
After making some changes, as a test, we go back over to my primary profile and start poking around to see if the changes had any effect on the problem.
The net result is "no".
But as we're about to end the call, my personal inbox starts blowing UP... email after email. I received 18 emails in about 30 seconds.
9 were from one of my coworkers who took it upon herself to forward me copies of all of the emails the customer had sent to my attention in the group mailbox - which I can access.
9 were from the ticketing system all telling me that I had emails sent as part of the open ticket I had with the customer.
"Does that happen often?" the Exchange engineer asked.
Every day dude. Every. Day.
As a matter of interest (and apologies in advance if this is something you have already looked at) - do you access the group mailbox directly (ie it has it's own mail profile) or as an secondary mailbox on your main account?Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
If it is a secondary mailbox, it may be that the ghost emails have the Private flag set, which will show them in the total number of email in the box, but not actually display them. Find out who is sending Private emails to a group mailbox and "educate" them on the errors of their ways.
Bah - forgot no edits in rants. To find out if there are any Private emails, you will need to create a new mail profile just for that mailbox. Again, apologies if you have already tried it (I know most of the folks in this thread have a LOT more experience on helpdesks/IT than me, however we have seen this fairly often with my client as they have hundreds of group mailboxes)
Turns out that's exactly what it was. Wish I'd complained about it at the beginning of the month, hah!
Except the new mail profile just for that box still wouldn't display the private mails until he had me run an "outlook.exe /cleanviews" command.
Now I have a new way to deal with that if it happens again.
Fucking microsoft!
Tech: My users are having problems accessing your software.
Me: Are there errors or did they forget their password?
Tech: They forgot their password.
Me: Let's take a look. remotely access his system Um... the parts of the application that are required for login verification are gone. Did someone uninstall the program?
Tech: suddenly defensive No
Me: naturally I've got my suspect Well, something's definitely odd. DLLs and executables don't go missing... let's spend a few minutes inspecting a few other folders to ensure that there's no other files missing...
Tech: mumbling in the background I just wanted to clear out my Programs & Features
Me: Oh wait, hang on, there's a whole folder full of PDFs and other metafiles used to generate tax forms missing. Could someone have been trying to clean up hard drive space or maybe clear out their Programs & Features list?
Tech: hedging You sure it was fully installed?
Me: I open the remaining install.log Yup.
Me: as a further step Look, here's the file that even indicates its license was activated.
Tech: Guess I shouldn't have tried to clean out Programs & Features huh.
Me: If you don't want them to show up in Programs & Features, install them from a different workstation.
Tech: There's no other workstations with my credentials.
Me: Well then you'll have to live with the Programs & Features entries.
I remember when a dude I knew deleted quake3d.exe after making a shortcut to it on his desktop.
He did not realize what it was he was doing until windows 95 would not alloe him to delete windows.exe
Yeah, my male biological progenitor going around randomly deleting dll files and should-be-protected windows system files on a regular basis taught me how to ground-up repair windows installs with individual files at age, like 14.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris
He seemed to be under the impression that everything he didn't recognize, despite not being computer savvy AT ALL was something wrong, bad, and evil that I was doing to the computer, and they'd he'd blame me for sabotaging the computer when he deleted system files.
Probably one of the only POSITIVE things I have to thank him for, learning how to troubleshoot that shit by force without any resources.
My favorite cheat was to rename windows and install a new copy and then delete the old one. It left everything in place, and all I had to do was install new versions of relevant programs.
Sent from my 1+3t
I just grant User-level access to anyone who is incapable of properly using an Admin-level account. Then they can't delete shit unless they installed it. They can't even SEE the Windows folder or the Programs folder.
Sadly, that was not an option in win95/98.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae
I'm definitely in the same boat nowadays, though.
Depending on what the computer I'm using is for, I won't even give MYSELF admin access on my main account, I'll just have a secondary account with admin privileges waiting in the wings in case I need it, then leave UAC disabled because the prompts annoy the snot out of me.
That's good for when you're browsing.