Tales from Techsupport

So then I get a response from him with a dozen lines of code.
Dev: If the DvB table is not found in the shared app directory (inside the program folder structure) then Program4-Sub-Print looks for DvOld. If DvB is present, then Sub-Print uses DvC. If Sub-Print is using DvOld, then it isn't finding DvB.

Hmm. He doesn't get it. :Popcorn: :hulk:

Me:
I understand from your explanation how the Sub-Print touches all three sets of the various login tables.
It's unexpected, and it doesn't make sense as to why, and it didn't happen in prior versions to the point where there were problems.

Based on your information in (the developer escalation owned by my coworker), we told the customer to rename their DvB files.
It didn't fix their error due to the DvOld files being zero-sized and resulted in the missing file error.
Easy enough to replace the those tables with blank/default login tables.

However, that also doesn't answer (my escalation).
If I use a prior version of the Program4-Sub-Print with the current/street Program4, and use all three of the customer's login tables, there is nothing preventing me from correctly accessing the Sub-Print program's functions.
If I use the current version of Program4-Sub-Print and remove DvC, Program4 creates new copies immediately upon opening the program. Upon inspection these files include identical information to those located in the DvOld tables. However, I still am unable to utilize the customer's login name (which is listed in the DvB under the shared folder structure) and use the Sub-Print.
Further testing:
(screenshot of the identical information between DvOld and DvB)
As you can see, the (shared folder structure\DvB login file) has identical information to (Program4 folder structure\DvOld login file).

I compared these to the (shared folder structure\DvC login file) table.

Between the two different tables we have:

DvB table has 8 unique values
DvC table has 4 unique values
There are 7 values in common with both tables

When I try to log in to Program4 using the unique logins from the Program4's DvC table, there is no Sub-Print functionality, as per (my escalations') "grayed out" option buttons.

When I try to log into Program4 using the logins from the DvB table, the Sub-Print works fine.

When I try to log into Program4 using the logins that are common to both tables, the following occurs:

Logins from the DvB all are able to access the Program4-Sub-Print correctly.
Login D, which is a security-level in both files (to allow for general use) is getting the inability to edit progrma options depicted by the grayed out button. This is expected behavior.
Login M, which is a security-level 1 (view only user) in the (shared folder structure\DvC), is bizarrely a senior user in the (shared folder structure\DvB) and (Program4 structure\DvOld) files. While this is an unusual configuration (I can't even figure out how they would have managed this) the user login into Program4 prevents them from adding information but has full capabilities to print. This is NOT expected behavior.

Circling back around to the DvC's logins which don't work - Why don't they?
Ostensibly from this testing, it's because they, for some reason, are not listed in the (Program4 structure\DvOld) file, and thus not listed in the (shared folder\DvB) file.
Additionally, each of the respective users (missing from the DvB and DvOld) are senior level, but per your explanation, since the Sub-Print is sticking its fingers into the peanut butter jar that is (shared folder\DvB), it's not seeing those logins and assumes "worse than view-only user".

So there's the explanation for the problem…
But how do we fix (coworker's escalation)?
Removing the shared\DvB tables will cause Program4 to recreate them - incorrectly, in this case.
Removing the Program4\DvOld tables will cause missing file error, because the Sub-Print needs them and Program4 won't recreate blanks/default value files.
So instead we need to remove the shared\DvB tables AND replace the Program4DvOld with blank/default copies.

Is this ideal?
No, but yes
Yes - Because the Sub-Print does not find, for example, login S in Shared\DvB or Program4\DvOld, it defaults to the permissions which had been assigned to the user upon Program4 login.
No - because removing the previously existing user logins affects the the primary Program1 and any Program2 and Program3 programs prior to 2008.


Circling back up to testing logins, this time with the Program4-Sub-Print the version from December 2014.
I have reverted the Shared\DvB and Program4\DvOld to the customer's files submitted for (my escalation).
Login M, which is a security-level 1 (view only user) in the Shared\DvC, and a senior user in the Shared\DvB and Program4\DvOld files. When printing, the (print options) button is gray and trying to edit the options returns the "You must be a senior level user." This is expected behavior for the user login security level "view only".
Login D, which is a security-level in both files (to allow general user) is getting the inability to edit program options and the grayed out button. This is expected behavior for user login security level "general".
Logins from DvB all still senior level, when printing, function normally and are able to edit Sub-Print options. This is expected behavior for user login security level senior user.


Thus…
There's a bug.

It can go one of two ways.

Either:
The Program4-Sub-Print was always intended to pick secondary login permissions from Shared\DvB, which in prior versions it had not, and up until version released May 2016 no one ever noticed. Now that it does, it does not recognize user permissions that are not present in the Shared\DvB file and thus "drops" the permission, resulting in (my escalation's) error of "You must be a senior user".

Or:
The Program4-Sub-Print ignored the Shared\DvB table up until the 5/2016 release, and something was changed to force it to / "fixed" to cause it to now look at Shared\DvB. Now that it does, it does not recognize user permissions that are not present in the Shared\DvB file and thus "drops" the permission, resulting in (my escalation's) error of "You must be a senior user".


The overall fix:

Repair the bug.

Either: Put Program4-Sub-Print back to the way it was prior to this release
Or: Do something additional* to cause the Program4-Sub-Print to better differentiate the user login tables so that user login permissions carry over from Shared\DvC when they are also not listed in Shared\DvB.
*Do something additional = that will not modify, edit, or break the existing respective login tables.


About an hour and a half later I get

Dev: A bug ticket has been entered for this issue.


:banana:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mileron

About an hour and a half later I get

Dev: A bug ticket has been entered for this issue.


:banana:

---

Your QA skills are FUCKING IMPECCABLE.

I worked QA for years and I was good at it. You're approaching guru level.

Have you ever used (or do you have enough code knowledge to use) fiddler for tracing? https://www.telerik.com/download/fiddler/fiddler2

It's my ABSOLUTE last resort with an app gone wrong, and I usually go to Russinovich's "Process Explorer" first when it comes to finding dll hooks and whatnot, but if you have to pull out the massively spammy guns, fiddler can really nail down information you already suspect.

The ending does not surprise me, I fight with this shit every day.

I actually had an issue the other day where our security team, in anticipation of a PCI DSS v3.1 audit this quarter updated ALL of the security rules on ALL of the firewalls for the ENTIRE COMPANY, Including client firewalls (we're an ISP).

This resulted in 100% of the technicians, provisioners, onboarding folk, cutover team, the people who work in remediation for customer non-payment and disconnects, and pretty much anyone else that ever needs to access a customer device (switch, router, firewall, phone controller, load balancer, modem, you fucking name it) being completely unable to sign in because it broke all RADIUS/TACACS logins FOR THREE DAYS.

It's STILL not back up for all techs a week later.

Restoring from backups? No, we didn't have those for most devices. Configs take space *facepalm*.

No, we didn't follow ITIL processes, that would require paperwork and this was a firmware update for security reasons.

What's a rollback plan?

The worst part is, before anyone would EVEN send an announcement out, I was telling everyone "put it tickets. Each person. Every one of you. They're not going to believe it's widespread unless you ALL put in tickets. Fuck it, you're just standing around unable to work anyway. PUT. IN. TICKETS"

Shortly after that announcement from me, a notification went out.

OOPS! We're aware of an issue!

*sigh*

If I'd have just reported one through the normal channels, it would have gotten kicked back with no notes or commentary.

It took purposely fucking up the ticket metrics to get attention on this.

Mad props. Pinning down stuff like that is why you should NEVER interrupt someone debugging.

Quite a crystal castle that you had to construct and hold in your head until the pieces fitted together.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra

Your QA skills are FUCKING IMPECCABLE.

I worked QA for years and I was good at it. You're approaching guru level.

---

I very much appreciate the kudos.
The sad thing is, this isn't the first time I've had to do something like this in the twelve years I've been in this position (I'm averaging 4-5 times a year perhaps), but it is probably the most extensive in the last couple years.

Also, the developers to whom such messages are addressed always seem to feel insulted by it, as if they're not doing their job. There are five now, but 6+ years ago there were fifteen.

And that's not the tone with which I'm trying to convey my message. I try to keep it matter-of-fact.

I'm trying to say, in succinct English (yes, it's their first language) "Hey look there's a problem" and it's up to them to read through it, but I guess it's the proprietary "it's my baby" thing that makes them think they cannot be wrong or there cannot be a problem.

Attachment 4711

There is an old adage that if you want a mule to do what you want, you first need to get its attention with a 2x4.

In my experience I have not found developers to be significantly different. 2x4 is optional.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Eremius

There is an old adage that if you want a mule to do what you want, you first need to get its attention with a 2x4.

In my experience I have not found developers to be significantly different. 2x4 is optional.

---

I call them "clue-by-fours".

As in, beat them upside the head with.

Stolen!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mileron

About an hour and a half later I get

Dev: A bug ticket has been entered for this issue.

---

I've rescinded my dancing banana.

Three more Program4-Sub-Print executables are due to be released today and guess what?

All three of them have the same fucking bug.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mileron

I've rescinded my dancing banana.

Three more Program4-Sub-Print executables are due to be released today and guess what?

All three of them have the same fucking bug.

---

At that point it's no longer a bug, it's a feature

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra

Your QA skills are FUCKING IMPECCABLE.

I worked QA for years and I was good at it. You're approaching guru level.

Have you ever used (or do you have enough code knowledge to use) fiddler for tracing? https://www.telerik.com/download/fiddler/fiddler2

It's my ABSOLUTE last resort with an app gone wrong, and I usually go to Russinovich's "Process Explorer" first when it comes to finding dll hooks and whatnot, but if you have to pull out the massively spammy guns, fiddler can really nail down information you already suspect.

The ending does not surprise me, I fight with this shit every day.

I actually had an issue the other day where our security team, in anticipation of a PCI DSS v3.1 audit this quarter updated ALL of the security rules on ALL of the firewalls for the ENTIRE COMPANY, Including client firewalls (we're an ISP).

This resulted in 100% of the technicians, provisioners, onboarding folk, cutover team, the people who work in remediation for customer non-payment and disconnects, and pretty much anyone else that ever needs to access a customer device (switch, router, firewall, phone controller, load balancer, modem, you fucking name it) being completely unable to sign in because it broke all RADIUS/TACACS logins FOR THREE DAYS.

It's STILL not back up for all techs a week later.

Restoring from backups? No, we didn't have those for most devices. Configs take space *facepalm*.

No, we didn't follow ITIL processes, that would require paperwork and this was a firmware update for security reasons.

What's a rollback plan?

The worst part is, before anyone would EVEN send an announcement out, I was telling everyone "put it tickets. Each person. Every one of you. They're not going to believe it's widespread unless you ALL put in tickets. Fuck it, you're just standing around unable to work anyway. PUT. IN. TICKETS"

Shortly after that announcement from me, a notification went out.

OOPS! We're aware of an issue!

*sigh*

If I'd have just reported one through the normal channels, it would have gotten kicked back with no notes or commentary.

It took purposely fucking up the ticket metrics to get attention on this.

---

IDA Pro/Hex-Rays decompiler softwares are amazing for debugging shit like this. If it was developed on Linux you could utilize a recordable/replayable debugger. There are not any for OS X or Windows last time I checked, they are worth their weight in gold though.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by MI Redeux

IDA Pro/Hex-Rays decompiler softwares are amazing for debugging shit like this. If it was developed on Linux you could utilize a recordable/replayable debugger. There are not any for OS X or Windows last time I checked, they are worth their weight in gold though.

---

Radare 2's also an option but it has no decompilers, an insanely arcane black magic computing domain with very little open publications available on it and every open source offering being unmaintained or had the team bought wholesale by Hex-Ray.

Me: How can I help you today?
Tech: A couple weeks ago you sent me instructions on installing your fonts. So I ran through the steps but the customer's still having bizarre wingding-like symbols on his tax forms.
Me: Okay. What OS is his computer?
Tech: Windows 7
Me: And you've logged in as an administrator of the computer?
Tech: Of course, I'm the admin of my computer
Me: ... Wait, I'm confused. You're the admin of your computer, sure, but what about the user's computer?
Tech: What about it?
Me: Is the user an admin of his computer?
Tech: How should I know?
Me: Well, the font install needs to be done on his computer, at his computer, by an administrator of his computer, in order for the tax forms to display correctly. You can't do the install on your own computer and hope the fonts on his eventually match.
Tech: Why not?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Mileron

Me: How can I help you today?
Tech: A couple weeks ago you sent me instructions on installing your fonts. So I ran through the steps but the customer's still having bizarre wingding-like symbols on his tax forms.
Me: Okay. What OS is his computer?
Tech: Windows 7
Me: And you've logged in as an administrator of the computer?
Tech: Of course, I'm the admin of my computer
Me: ... Wait, I'm confused. You're the admin of your computer, sure, but what about the user's computer?
Tech: What about it?
Me: Is the user an admin of his computer?
Tech: How should I know?
Me: Well, the font install needs to be done on his computer, at his computer, by an administrator of his computer, in order for the tax forms to display correctly. You can't do the install on your own computer and hope the fonts on his eventually match.
Tech: Why not?

---

Oh good ole stupidity.

Of course this is likely why Ariel is so common as a font, Its on all OS.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mileron

Me: How can I help you today?
Tech: A couple weeks ago you sent me instructions on installing your fonts. So I ran through the steps but the customer's still having bizarre wingding-like symbols on his tax forms.
Me: Okay. What OS is his computer?
Tech: Windows 7
Me: And you've logged in as an administrator of the computer?
Tech: Of course, I'm the admin of my computer
Me: ... Wait, I'm confused. You're the admin of your computer, sure, but what about the user's computer?
Tech: What about it?
Me: Is the user an admin of his computer?
Tech: How should I know?
Me: Well, the font install needs to be done on his computer, at his computer, by an administrator of his computer, in order for the tax forms to display correctly. You can't do the install on your own computer and hope the fonts on his eventually match.
Tech: Why not?

---

The last lines of conversation between the tech and the customer, just prior to your post:

Tech: It looks great when I look at it on my computer now, it's fixed.
Customer: Uhhh.... OK
/twoInterveningWeeksAnd30RebootsLater
Customer: I'm still having bizarre wingding-like symbols on my tax forms.

Software quality assurance is my profession these days. The best way to handle developers is to give them all diabetes by constantly throwing them candy. They'll still react like cavemen but they'll want their sugar supply so they'll at least slightly pay attention to you.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mileron

Me: How can I help you today?
Tech: A couple weeks ago you sent me instructions on installing your fonts. So I ran through the steps but the customer's still having bizarre wingding-like symbols on his tax forms.
Me: Okay. What OS is his computer?
Tech: Windows 7
Me: And you've logged in as an administrator of the computer?
Tech: Of course, I'm the admin of my computer
Me: ... Wait, I'm confused. You're the admin of your computer, sure, but what about the user's computer?
Tech: What about it?
Me: Is the user an admin of his computer?
Tech: How should I know?
Me: Well, the font install needs to be done on his computer, at his computer, by an administrator of his computer, in order for the tax forms to display correctly. You can't do the install on your own computer and hope the fonts on his eventually match.
Tech: Why not?

---

Even better when the program in question is coming on 20 years old (Developed for Win95 originally), doesn't even begin to understand how anything "modern" system handles things like 'fonts' and hangs when trying to install a font already in use (like the one shared with Logitech Setpoint driver) /boggle.

And people are effing pissed that we're finally pulling the plug on this goddamn piece of shit. SQL based replacement's been around for 7 years, but good-god-damn people are assholes.

People are sticklers for never upgrading unless forced. How long did MS keep supporting WinXP even though 7 is superior in every single way.

Or how much of a shit storm was caused when EQ started to require DX8.

Hell Overwatch got heat for requirements of a 64bit Windows. And its a new game.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Zumino Zufeilon

but good-god-damn people are assholes.

---

Quoted for emphasis.

I post so often in here I can't remember if I mentioned the laptops. In December 2013, after we found out my office would be moving from South Jersey to Philadelphia, we had a whole host of laptops ordered to replace ailing hardware.
Lately, many of the Support and testing staffs have found that, when working with their daily workload of software (especially since our call tracking system went from hosted DB to web-based in November 2015) BSoD became common place.

Several very vocal people were emailing 3-5 managers at a shot, plus me (since I'm in charge of hardware, natch) complaining about said BSoD and how they're losing 10+ minutes productivity to get shut down and booted back up.

So once I found out the company policy of replacing hardware every three years got extended to every four, I talked the technology manager of my group into recognizing that our systems needed additional memory.

We ordered it - after almost three months of back-and-forth with the purchasing group who would not approve the PO request because:
1 - The item on order was computer hardware, and there's a special IT vendor group who handles that
2 - The item on order was not intended to be ordered from a corporate-approved vendor even though sourcing through the CAV was over 100% more expensive ($72 versus 26) and would take 5+ weeks to fulfill
3 - Since the PO wasn't processed through the separate ITV group, they could not begin to schedule IT resources to perform the installs

Fine. I'd done it three times already, and it takes me less than ten minutes.

So eventually the admin assistant just put it through on her corporate card. Ordered from Newegg. And saved over $700. And got the delivery two days later.

I managed to corral most of the users as they came into the office last week and spent 4-10 minutes doing the installs(*).
Four people required me to ship the chips to them. One of them was among the more vocal BSoD complainers.
But, every step of the way, he'd push back and say "I don't have time to do this install." Mother fucker, you work permanently from home and I've seen you in the office a grand total of TWICE since we moved in here eighteen months ago. It took me less than ten minutes the first time I did the install, and if you start with a shut-down PC, I can do it in two or less.
He'd also push back and say "why don't you have my address on record?" Because, asshole, you've moved twice since the office relocated.

Finally today (at my behest) the AA sent three of the "I don't want this delivery" people an email stating "If you don't give us your address you're going to have to suffer with your POS computer for another year and a half because I'm going to return the memory we bought FOR YOU".

She received responses with addresses inside of a half an hour.

Now I just need to get the three remaining chips installed...
One is a PITA because the manager for whom it's intended keeps not showing up in the office with the laptop. Not my fault.
The other two are going to require house calls :( I sent emails about them setting aside time for me to visit last week but have yet to get a response.

I'll hit them with the "we'll just return it if you don't have this installed by X date" thing if I don't hear anything by next Monday.

* - It still somehow shocks me how many times I need to tell this one woman that she CANNOT leave her system on, in sleep mode or not, and then stuff it into her backpack for her drive. I can't wait for when she fries it. :banghead:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mileron

We ordered it - after almost three months of back-and-forth with the purchasing group who would not approve the PO request because:
1 - The item on order was computer hardware, and there's a special IT vendor group who handles that

---

I forgot to mention - the special IT vendor group who handles hardware purchases declined something as basic as a memory upgrade

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker

People are sticklers for never upgrading unless forced. How long did MS keep supporting WinXP even though 7 is superior in every single way.

---

ALMOST every single way.

The removal of hardware profiles SUCKS.

We would have FAR fewer connection issues if you could have a docked and an undocked profile for laptops again. (Docked? Wireless disables. Undocked? Enables. etc.)

Windows 7's insistence to look for all drivers on windows update first also sucks. I can have drivers downloaded, and point to them, and still have it use a driver from windows update EVEN AFTER I DIRECTLY SPECIFY THE MANUFACTURER'S DRIVER.

Even if you tell it not to use windows update for drivers, sometimes it still will.

Now, 90% of the time, this is fine because *most* of the generic drivers on windows update will function just fine, but there are some pieces on certain Lenovo models (T440 audio driver, T450 wireless, T460 USB 3.0 driver) that simply CANNOT function without the manufacturer driver.

The windows firewall is better than XP SP1, but worse than XP SP3.

In general, though, I agree with you.

The main problem with 7, though, is that they moved a TON of stuff around.

It's not as big of a change as xp to vista, or 8, or even 10, but it took my wife a good 6 weeks of using her win7 box to feel truly comfortable with it and she's no slouch in the brains department.

Quote:

---

We would have FAR fewer connection issues if you could have a docked and an undocked profile for laptops again. (Docked? Wireless disables. Undocked? Enables. etc.)

---

Oh god yes.

1800 end users.
12. count them, TWELVE domain controllers.

The primary domain controller, for years now, has had trouble replicating.

It'll go into JRNL_WRAP, it'll just fail to sync up the AD database (leading to new hire and departure headaches) and since it's the primary domain controller, when someone changes their password while authenticating through the primary, then hits a different one, their account locks out due to failed password attempts.

Months upon months upon months of investigation and attempted remedies. Dozens of hours of enlisting Microsoft Support.

Finally everyone gives up and decides that instead of a dozen fucking domain controllers, we should consolidate and take things back to the low single digits.

Today.

Today I happen to be looking at the PDC and what do I see on the root of the drive?

Windows.old

YEP!

That's right!

Some MENTAL MIDGET fucking UPGRADED THE PDC IN AN ENVIRONMENT WITH TWEEEEEEEEEEEELVE FUCKING DOMAIN CONTROLLERS!

:banghead::banghead::banghead::eyes:

I'm sorry, but if you don't know how to transfer roles and promote/demote in order to do a full OS install on a DC, YOU SHOULDN'T BE TOUCHING DOMAIN CONTROLLERS.

OS UPGRADES ARE FOR HOME USERS.

Enterprise infrastructure that can afford load balancers, HA Citrix farms with vMotion, and redundant offsite SAN backups SHOULD NOT BE PRESSING "UPGRADE".

Back up your DAMNED SETTINGS, TRANSFER YOUR ROLES, AND DO A FRESH INSTALL YOU CUM-GURGLING GROUPTHINK-SPOUTING TROGLODYTES!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra

Back up your DAMNED SETTINGS, TRANSFER YOUR ROLES, AND DO A FRESH INSTALL YOU CUM-GURGLING GROUPTHINK-SPOUTING TROGLODYTES!

---

9.5/10 I could have used more profane ranting.

Quote:

---

Some MENTAL MIDGET fucking UPGRADED THE PDC IN AN ENVIRONMENT WITH TWEEEEEEEEEEEELVE FUCKING DOMAIN CONTROLLERS!



I'm sorry, but if you don't know how to transfer roles and promote/demote in order to do a full OS install on a DC, YOU SHOULDN'T BE TOUCHING DOMAIN CONTROLLERS.

---

FUUUUUCK!!!!!!!

Customer: It takes me 25 seconds to enter a transaction into the database, this is unacceptable!
Me: does some troubleshooting, including changing her UNC shortcuts to mapped drives
Customer: It takes me 8 seconds to enter a transaction into the database, this is unacceptable!

Quote:

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Customer: It takes me 8 seconds to enter a transaction into the database, this is unacceptable!

---

Me: Learn to type faster.

What follows is a conflagration of fuster from my problematic user Sales Rep.

These are back-and-forth emails:
Sales Rep: Hi, I received this email from a customer. In it, the customer sent a complaint to Usage Support regarding a problem she's having with certain data entries, and requested a refund. The Usage Rep provied an answer. However, do you see any prior calls that would indicate why she's requesting a refund?
Me: The customer's issues, as described in your original email, seem to be wholly usage related. She had two support calls, both (earlier in July). In the first ticket, (Usage Rep 1) tried to help (customer) with some (account) balance problems. (UR1) needed a copy of the dataset. After getting the customer in contact with (Tech Rep 1), (UR1) indicates she didn't receive the copy of the (client dataset) as of July 14th.
Sales Rep: Anything else?
Me: In the second ticket, (TR1) helped the customer update the data backup utility. The customer was apparently trying to use a version from 2004.
Sales Rep: What about before that?
Me: Prior to that, her last Support calls were from March and April 2014 regarding migrating her programs to a new Windows 8.1 computer.
Sales Rep: What about before that?
Me: Before that, I'm seeing calls from March 2011. She doesn't seem to be a new user of the programs, so I'm not sure why she's having trouble with working with support for her answers.

The rest is chats:

Sales Rep: who didn't receive copy of client data?
Me: (UR1). The customer seems to have never sent it to (UR1). Talk to (UR1)
Sales Rep: and what do you suggest? Can we resolve this? Can we do a conference call, you and I? Maybe we need someone to communicate this to her
Me: Either she follows (UR1)'s instructions, or you deal with it from a Sales point of view. (UR1)'s answer will very likely resolve her problem. Talk to (UR1) because I cannot help the customer with this. It's not a program problem. It's a customer-doesn't-know-what-she's-doing / training problem
Sales Rep: i need a good contact from support to deal with this because obviously (UR1) is not getting thru
Me: I don't know how to use the program or fix the issue she's complaining about. Your options are limited. There's only three people in the usage group. Talk to (UR1).
Sales Rep: ok i'll call (UR1) what do you think she needs to do to get this going?
Me: Who, the customer? She needs to follow instructions provided to her from (UR1). Talk to (UR1).
Sales Rep: what does she need to do provide the client file to (UR1)?
Me: Zip it and email it. It's possible that the customer didn't email the dataset, instead intending to complain. Talk to (UR1)
Sales Rep: ok so the customer needs to zip the client file and then email to (UR1)?
Me: Talk to (UR1).
Sales Rep: ok thanks for your help

It's maddening. :banghead:

As is completely typical of people who do not work directly with high technology, this sales rep has an inherent distrust of those who do. This sales rep appears convinced that UR1 is holding out on him and deliberately ignoring the customer, even in the face of your own company contact records for that customer that strongly indicate otherwise.

Tech: My users are getting an error that indicates (specific state module) isn't installed. I'm on the website. Should I install it?
Me: um Yes please
Tech: Are you sure? I want to make sure I'm installing the right item
Me: You are
Tech: I have in my notes that I installed it though
Me: directs him to the executable folder Do you see an executable named statemodule.exe?
Tech: No
Me: Then we'll need to install it
Tech: Okay now it's installed but when I try to activate it I keep getting server errors
Me: What are they saying?
Tech: That the program can't reach the file server
Me: I see here that you moved the programs to new server last week... Is the new file server named FS01?
Tech: No, that server was taken offline
Me: Well then what are you running the programs on?
Tech: A cluster
Me: The programs don't support cluster installs. They need to be on a discrete file server.
Tech: Why didn't anyone tell me that?
Me: Did you mention that you were moving to a cluster?
Tech: No, why would I?

Tech: My users are having font problems and errors after installing a program
Me: Which program?
Tech: I don't know
Me: What error?
Tech: I don't know
Me: What are they doing when it occurs?
Tech: I don't know
Me: ... Perhaps you could find that information out for me?

A few minutes later, I receive an email with an error log and a screenshot from the user.
I contact the tech.
Me: You can fix this easily by reinstalling the most recent tax year program from the website. Not only will it fix the font problem, but it'll resolve the other error too.
Tech: Can you give me manual font fix solutions?
Me: given
Tech: Thanks, I'll call you back
She hangs up before I get to follow up on the other error.

Two hours later:
Tech: The users are still getting the error message but the font problem is fixed
Me: Did you reinstall the current tax program from the website as I mentioned before?
Tech: No, installs have to be scheduled for after-hours to ensure no one's using the program.
Me: Ma'am, the error you gave me is a show-stopper. No one will be able to use the program at all. So long as people stop trying to click the shortcut, we'll be able to complete the install inside of ten minutes.
Tech: That's unacceptable

Two hours later...
Tech: The users are still getting the error message
Me: Did you reinstall the most recent tax program from the website as I mentioned before? The deja vu is strong...
Tech: Why can't you just fix the file?
Me: Can you tell me what update was applied?
Tech: No
Me: Can you tell me how the users are going to use a program that doesn't work?
Tech: ... No
Me: So how about since you have me, we do a remote session and I look at it.

So I remote onto their system and look at the issue.
Me: The only way this issue would have happened would be if someone reinstalled an older year program onto the folder structure, thereby obliterating certain common data files that get updated year-to-year.
Tech: How would that happen?
Me: ... Someone reinstalled an older year program ...
User: You know, I was accessing (non-tax other program) and the login screen looked weird.
Me: Pardon?
User: shows me and opens that program... the login screen that appears is from 2005 This doesn't look right
Me: No... This is from 2005. I look deeper into their folder structure and find that there's a folder full of old, old installer files dated 11/2005 and earlier Do you know why these installer files are still present?
Tech: Oh, I grabbed those from our archives when I reinstalled the program to fix the fonts as you mentioned earlier today.
Me: But those installers are from 2005. That would not fix a 2016 program. These are not the most recent installer files.
Tech: So what do I do?
Me: Reinstall the most recent program.
Tech: But installs have to be done outside of business hours!
Me: Fine. I rename the folder in which the archival installers are stored and mark it DO NOT USE then replace a handful of datafiles that the older installer would have broken from a clean install on my computer.
Tech: Now was that so hard? Why couldn't you do that this morning?
Me: You mean before you knew what the error was?
User: You didn't tell him what the error was?
Tech: No, he's supposed to know what they are!
User: What, does he have ESP?
Tech: HE SHOULD KNOW!
Me: Thank you for calling, ladies, have a good weekend *click*

:banghead:

Pretty minor:

We run win7 and I never bothered to disable the win10 upgrade icon in the taskbar on our ~ 50 machines. Took until today for someone to ask if they should upgrade (mail with screenshot where it says right in the middle to keep your fingers still if you aren't the person responsible for computers)

I'm somewhat proud of the other 49 people

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ronaan

Pretty minor:

We run win7 and I never bothered to disable the win10 upgrade icon in the taskbar on our ~ 50 machines. Took until today for someone to ask if they should upgrade (mail with screenshot where it says right in the middle to keep your fingers still if you aren't the person responsible for computers)

I'm somewhat proud of the other 49 people

---

That's EPIC.

That's even bigger than the feeling I get when someone notices they got an e-mail from themselves to themselves with a cryptically named attachment and a subject line of "FW: Your Invoice" and REFRAINS FROM OPENING IT.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra

That's even bigger than the feeling I get when someone notices they got an e-mail from themselves to themselves with a cryptically named attachment and a subject line of "FW: Your Invoice" and REFRAINS FROM OPENING IT.

---

I wish most of my users were that perceptive.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mileron

I wish most of my users were that perceptive.

---

Where I'm at, all users are limited to 2gb of space on their personal network drive.

This means they're ALL storing stuff locally.

Some of them buy their own external drives or burn to disc, but most don't, so with cryptovirus ransomware having been out there for a few years now, people are hearing stories from their coworkers about how soandso lost 14 years of archived e-mails in PST files and being just a teensy bit more careful.

I have to wonder why someone needed to save an email for 14 years.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker

I have to wonder why someone needed to save an email for 14 years.

---

Because nobody enforces records retention rules or cares about eDiscovery, and we have some customers who have been with us for decades.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker

I have to wonder why someone needed to save an email for 14 years.

---

Today is my 12 year anniversary with my current company.
I had to access emails from 2008 over the last week. I still will keep them. Sure, I could go in and clean them up and remove "cruft" in favor of "important stuff" but that's too much time for a modicum of space savings.
Last month I had to access emails from 2004 and 2005.
They're still useful.

"resident took oben door off to light pilot and can not get door back on."


Me:"okay, door is back on. But it says here you did it to light the pilot? "
Res:" yeah, we couldnt light the pilot with the door on there."
Me: "this unit has an electronic ignitor"
Res: "yes we lit it for you."
Me: "the ignition is done by the glow coil."
Res: "well, it stopped cooking, so we lit the pilot, becauase it went out."
Me: "there is no pilot."
Res:" then what did we light? "

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris

"resident took oben door off to light pilot and can not get door back on."


Me:"okay, door is back on. But it says here you did it to light the pilot? "
Res:" yeah, we couldnt light the pilot with the door on there."
Me: "this unit has an electronic ignitor"
Res: "yes we lit it for you."
Me: "the ignition is done by the glow coil."
Res: "well, it stopped cooking, so we lit the pilot, becauase it went out."
Me: "there is no pilot."
Res:" then what did we light? "

---

It's times like this that I'm grateful for my job in IT.

At least when people do something COLOSSALLY stupid, there's no chance it can blow up an entire city block.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mileron

I've rescinded my dancing banana.

Three more Program4-Sub-Print executables are due to be released today and guess what?

All three of them have the same fucking bug.

---

Another Program4-Sub-Print executable was due to be released today.
Guess what? Same bug.
Oh and the other three from 6/23 have yet to be fixed.
I've sent messages to the dev's manager and the product manager, and have yet to get anywhere (though to be fair, both might be OOO today; even though they don't have autoresponses set up, neither is listed as online in our internal chat app.)

Quote:

---

At least when people do something COLOSSALLY stupid, there's no chance it can blow up an entire city block.

---

We had somebody melt a laptop power cord with their Space Heater.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Melcar

We had somebody melt a laptop power cord with their Space Heater.

---

I had someone put a CD on top of one of those candle warmers - then put a candle on top of that - citing that "it got too hot and melted her candle too fast".
The smell of burnt plastic didn't go away for almost a month.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Melcar

We had somebody melt a laptop power cord with their Space Heater.

---

Oh yeah, our CSR people wonder why they have issues with their computers, and we tell them it's because their space heaters are blowing directly on them. We had one temp melt the face plate of an older Dell desktop. It's funny now, but it damn sure wasn't then. We've also tried to unplug the heaters from power strips and found them to be pretty much welded in.

Are the buildings poorly heated or something?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker

Are the buildings poorly heated or something?

---

In their defense the entry door is an automatic sliding door, and in the winter (although our winters are by no means that cold) they do get cold air coming in at them.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker

Are the buildings poorly heated or something?

---

Relevant article: http://www.wired.com/2015/08/men-wom...ce-thermostat/

Quote:

---

Are the buildings poorly heated or something

---

Yes, especially with HVAC zones. One person will be warm so open their window which will trigger a call for service for the thermostat which will cause the heat for that zone to trigger which heats up 5 other offices. Or the person with the thermostat in their office will run a space heater which will satisfy the thermostat so there will be no call for heat - so then the surrounding offices freeze.

I bet each port lacks an open close function on the grille register as well.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris

I bet each port lacks an open close function on the grille register as well.

---

Yup.

My building, with a capacity of about 220 people, has 7 or 8 AC units on the roof.

At any given time, they may be completely non-functional or working at sub-optimal efficiency. Only the one that powers the switch closet/server room is worthy of a service call (even though service calls are FREE during business hours).

Everywhere else, the ducting is weird, the vents are in some of the WORST possible places, and even though all of the thermostats are set the same throughout all cubicles and offices (and digitally locked) there is a 15-20 degree difference in temperature as you walk around the office on any given day. Sometimes a 25 degree difference (Yes, we have had one area at 62 because the most powerful vent was away from the thermostat and the thermostat was catching afternoon sunlight, and another at 88 because the thermostat was right under the most powerful vent away from any windows) and that doesn't even count the time someone left the heat on until mid-september on one thermostat, which didn't register it because the conference room right next to that one has independent non-locking non-digital thermostats that were set to "meat locker" so the projector bulb wouldn't blow. (It hit 53 in that room once. It was AWESOME)

I find that 99% of the time, in office buildings, the problem is REALLY, REALLY POOR FLOOR PLANNING with regards to thermostat and vent layout.

Somehow I always end up in the "limbo cube" where no cold air ever reaches and it's always the super skinny folks who hate the cold that end up sitting *right* under the strongest vent in the building.

Some days I just move my work to the server room. I'd much rather be shivering than sweating.

Pri 1 URGENT CRITICAL ticket goes into queue...assigned to a team that is not mine.

I notice nothing because I'm working from home on a project.

Person entering ticket gets irritated that noone has responded and CALLS ME AT HOME.

Being the loving person I am, I answer, find the ticket number, and here's where the WTF begins.

The cast:

C: The caller, who works in sales engineering and closes multi-million dollar contracts.
M: Me. The guy who works in IT supporting the people who earn us money.
F: The particularly nice guy who happens to work on the firewall team.

C: I put in a ticket because I can't log into the website we use for all of our product sales and ordering.

M: What do you mean you can't log in?

C: I can get to the main page, but when I hit the login button, nothing comes up.

M: Okay, let me try...yep, works for me.

C: Can you come over to my desk?

M: No, I'm working from home.

C: Oh, that's why it works, you're on the VPN.

M: I'm sorry, what now?

C: Other people around here are able to use it because they have the vpn client. They're all on laptops. I have a desktop and so noone ever installed the vpn client for me because I'm not taking this thing home.

M: Okay, this ought to be interesting, let's try installing the VPN on your machine. *installs VPN client* Okay, try it now.

C: Yep! It works.

M: O_o

C: Hey can you help this other person? She doesn't have the VPN client either.

M: Sure! *helps other person*

M: *does background checking*

M: *calls firewall guy*

F: Yo!

M: Okay, can you think of ANY reason that everything on these two subnets going out on the LAN *only* are blocked from accessing this site address while it works on wireless and VPN? *gives site address*

F: Well the...Hold on.

M: *holds on*

F: Okay, found it. We applied the vendor supplied blocklist to that brand of firewalls. Only the LAN traffic in that office goes out from there, everything else is on (other brand) or (other other brand) so that's why it only affected the LAN traffic in that one office.

F: I've gone ahead and amended the vendor-supplied blocklist to allow that IP. Can you have someone test it?

M: hey C, can you hit "VPN Disconnect" and close your open browser window and try to login again?

C: Yep...Okay, it works now!

M: Cool, thank you, have a great day!

M: Yeah, F. It works now. Thanks.

F: No problem!

/facepalm


WHO THE FUCK PUTS IN VENDOR SUPPLIED FIREWALL RULES WITHOUT TESTING THEM FIRST?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mileron

Another Program4-Sub-Print executable was due to be released today.
Guess what? Same bug.
Oh and the other three from 6/23 have yet to be fixed.
I've sent messages to the dev's manager and the product manager, and have yet to get anywhere (though to be fair, both might be OOO today; even though they don't have autoresponses set up, neither is listed as online in our internal chat app.)

---

So the product manager finally got involved and is forcing QA to retest the recent builds of the Program4-Sub-Print executables.

I got to have the following conversation with the QA manager:

QAMgr: Were you able to reproduce the issue with the Program4-Sub-Print executables (without manipulating the underlying files)?
Me: I'm not completely understanding your question
QAMgr: When we report bugs in QA, we must provide the steps to reproduce the issue. That's what I'm asking for.
Me: That's what's in the big long email I sent you yesterday ([i]which the thread starting with what I sent in this post)
QAMgr: Those are not steps and we wouldn't put that in a bug ticket. How did the client produce the issue? It should be pretty straight forward.
Me: They updated the Sub-Print program, opened the Print window, and were unable to have users of a Senior level make any changes to the print options
QAMgr: What I'm not understanding is why the dev couldn't reproduce it and neither can my testers.
Me: Because they're not starting with the right conditions of the user login tables, probably, which is what my email covers
QAMgr: If they update the Sub-Print program and open the print window, they should see it. We are missing a piece.
Twenty minutes later, during which I'm guessing she actually read my email
QAMgrSo, prior to updating the format, we need to have a Senior level user.
Me: Correct
QAMgr: What was the last working version of (state-specific) Sub-Print executable please, where this issue did not exist? ...if you know it. If you haven't checked that one, we can figure it out.
Me: Haven't checked, but it would likely be whatever 2015 release was latest
QAMgr: Ok, we'll start there. Thanks.

Been there plenty. As the supervisor as well as the guy reporting the error.

On the supervisor side, I totally understand where he/she is coming from. The majority of things that come along your desk are errors that occur during beta/testing phases and it is your job to delegate who will fix it, and why the error occurred in the first place, and if that job even involves parsing code, it is typically just going back and forth between two screens of revisions, trying to isolate where it occurred before passing it on to someone else to fix.

Something like this sounds like it has been in the code for a while and just finally became a real bug, one that they didn't properly test for.

So now, the QAM needs to follow his/her protocol of discovering how you found it while keeping her butt from getting into trouble (if at all).

QAM ussually gets these errors handed to him/her when it isn't an actual error, but an oversight of someone who wasn't documenting the error properly and has to hand it back down to someone else to fix (as well), before giving them a lecture of sorts in order to tell them how to properly isolate and fix these kinds of things before they get to their desk.

There is a limited possibility that someone in the testing line admires your efforts and didn't bother to touch any of your feedback before sending it on to the next monkey, and so on and so forth. When it landed on the QAM desk, that person was confused as for why so much data was in their lap and after line 4, or 5, decided it would be better to talk one on one with whom they were dealing with.

You certainly did nothing wrong, and this being something that doesn't happen often for them, wanted to know how it happened and see it replicated in person before spending the time to read an e-mail that could just be another folly.

In your case, you did absolutely everything right, and maybe, possibly, but probably not very likely, will be commended for this type of documentation. It doesn't happen often. It probably will not happen in your case, because QAMs would much rather keep the praise and prestige within their own team.

Hold your head up high, dude. You are the bastion against the software apocolypse.

I get an email from my office's local IT group...
LIT: Yo, remember how you used to have that floor model cooling AC unit in your old office? We have one that we need help with. Can you come over for a bit?
I head over to the local IT office, which for the last 14 months I've been pretty much banned from due to my "attitude" back when my server started to shit the bed and all I wanted was my local IT to help me.

Anyway, I go over and I'm escorted to a small hardware closet. It's maybe 8 feet by 20 feet and houses a half dozen racks full of network switch and VOiP telephony equipment. And it's HOT.

There's a standalone AC unit in the corner, plugged in, cooling tubes pointed at the racks... venting back into the room via a coiled, stacked exhaust tube.

Me: I'm not understanding what I'm supposed to do here.
LIT: Make it cool.
Me: Outside of the fact that I'm not HVAC certified, what do you want me to do?
LIT: Make it cool.
Attachment 4862
Me: Go get me a PC box and some packing tape.
LIT returns in a few minutes with a box and said tape.
Me I take my penknife out of my pocket and cut the box, breaking it down completely into one long sheet of cardboard. Then I tape the flaps together, tape one side of the box to the edge of the door, and drag the AC unit closer to said door. I tape one side of the exhaust tube to the door frame and haphazardly seal the box to the door frame and tube.
LIT: See? You fixed it.



:wtf: I seriously wish I could have recorded that.

That.
Picture.
Is.
PERFECT!

You seriously could not have picked a more apropos image.

I totally forgot about the Pakleds.

:rofl:

They looked for things that made them go, and they settled on the Planet of Prunes and Cranberries.

Better than how I'd have fixed it. I'd have cut through the sheet rock and vented it that way.

Also why when setting up that office did the company not tie in a supply and return from the main AC or put in a minisplit?

Coworker: "hey, we are out of compound A, and I need it in building 770 immediately."
Me: "well, go get it from the 720 building"
Coworker: "No, we're out."
Me: "what about the storage at 5225?"
Coworker:" we are completely out. "
Me:" how long have we been out? "
Coworker:" for a while, i just didnt need it until now. "
Me:" you should have told me before we ran out. "
Coworker:" well, you told me to tell you when it runs low. "
Me:" did you? "
Coworker:" no. "

Sent using TAPATALK via Android

This one was actually a week or two ago:

My laptop has been not working right for the past 6 months. what can you do for me?

Me: "Bring me the laptop & I'll take a look".

But I need it today!!!?!?!?! Can't you just like....

Me: "are you fucking kidding me?"

"my phone doesnt't work any more"

Me: need more details

"it just doesn't work"

Me: ok bring it to me and I'll have it replaced.

What shows up at my desk is the remnants of a Gigaset SL3 that has been dropped a dozen times too many, fixed up with tape, and dropped a few dozen times again over the course of five years.

I shall post a picture later. Got one at work.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ronaan

"my phone doesnt't work any more"

Me: need more details

"it just doesn't work"

Me: ok bring it to me and I'll have it replaced.

What shows up at my desk is the remnants of a Gigaset SL3 that has been dropped a dozen times too many, fixed up with tape, and dropped a few dozen times again over the course of five years.

I shall post a picture later. Got one at work.

---

No edit so here we go, old vs new
http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/2016...0148b28a8e.jpg

So our field crew all log into their laptops with the exact same username and password, and it hasn't changed in at least 10 years. Then when they are logged on the laptop they have a shortcut to terminal server which they log into with their personal account. So this happened yesterday:

Field Guy: When I log into my laptop it's like it has never seen Windows 10 before, I get the screen with Hi on it and all the start menu stuff is there. (We purge all Start menu options for the account they are supposed to use)

Me: What username did you use to get in?

Field Guy: jsmith (not actual account name :p)

Me: That's why, you're using the wrong username. Use the one you always use to get into the computer.

Field Guy: I thought that was it? (At least 10 years I remind you)

Me: No. Use <domain>\<correct account> and the <password> that goes with it.

Field Guy: What's the password?

Me: (I tell him)

Field Guy: It says invalid account.

Me: Tell me what you have in the username field.

Field Guy: <his account>\<domain>\<correct account>

Me: Take out YOUR account.

New Field Guy: I just hit Other Account, let's start over.

So they then finally get it right. 10 fucking years he has been using this. Aggravating.

Very interesting ... but stew-pidd.

AND, you can't fix stew-pidd! :grinno:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Aennyil

Very interesting ... but stew-pidd.

AND, you can't fix stew-pidd! :grinno:

---

You can. Then they won't breed.

And yes, this guy is the tech for the company to which I was speaking, because we have call records with him going back more than five years.
Tech: I'm trying to install Program, but nothing happens
Me: What do you mean "nothing happens"? Do you mean, there's no launch of the installer? There's no hourglass/hula hoop of the "please wait" icon?
Tech: I hit "open" and nothing happens
Me: By "Open" you mean you're right-clicking the installer icon and choosing "Open" ?
Tech: sounds unsure Yeeeees?
Me: Okay, let's start fresh. Go back to the website, login, find the file you want to download and click the "Download" button. When prompted, choose "Save".
Tech: Okay I clicked "Open"
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Tech: I clicked Download, then clicked "Open"
Me: No, I want you to click Save
Tech: I don't have that option
Me: What browser are you using?
Tech: IE 6
Me: Um... IE 6 was last released with Server 2003, and if the server were as up to date as possible you should have IE 8 at the lowest. Either way, there should still be a "Save" button.
Tech: Well what am I supposed to do?
Me: How about we download it from a user's workstation, and we talk about how our program isn't supported when running from a 2003 server due to Microsoft ceasing support for Server 2003 over a year ago?
Tech: Why?
Me: um... I'm stumped. Why to which?
Tech: Why did Microsoft stop supporting it?
Me: I'm not sure if I'm being trolled at this point... Because at the time it was over 12 years old and very susceptible to security issues?
Tech: Such as?
Me: I'm sorry, I'm not in a position where I have a full listing of the various issues that caused Microsoft to retire an aging operating system. You can view the information by googling "server 2003 end of life" to get you started.
Tech: Oh, no, I hate that google crap.

That's not a Tech. That's a "tech". Lots of those around.

Back in March, one of our long-tenured program usage reps retired.
Two weeks after that, the next-longest seniority rep transferred to a different division. (Why the manager allowed that, I don't know.)
Two weeks after that, it was discovered that hey, three people in a department that used to have six or seven isn't enough to handle the workload.
So the manager reactivated two reps who'd been part of the team in a backup capacity (if call volume got too high, they'd receive calls automatically) and had me install the programs on their computers.

There were two problems with this:
1 - The manager indicated that the reps would only need the most recent two years of program versions, as well as only need the Federal programs (and not State) "because," quoth I verbatim-like, "they simply won't be getting enough calls for it to matter."
2 - As reps who will be supporting the programs in any capacity, they should have a basic knowledge of how the programs are installed (because it's really not that fucking hard)

So, fine. I did it. And the manager (I keep saying "the manager" like he's a different department, but he's my manager too, it's just that this guy has such a fucking blindspot for the people that are physically visible that he expects them all to walk on water or some shit) was OK with it and set those two sub-reps up to receive calls. And by "physically visible" I mean that my manager, being based in Texas, and me in Philadelphia, hasn't physically seen me face to face in almost three years.

Got an earful from the lead rep in that department (more than one earful over a half dozen times, so maybe 7-8 earsful? not counting, not important) about how these two reps are all but useless and, when they get even a simple usage question call (like "how do I get draft watermarks off my tax forms" you either update the program or uncheck the draft watermark print option) they forward the customer's contact info to the lead rep who then deals with it and complains about how she's getting overwhelmed by useless escalations when she's got shittastic skills at delegation.

So anyway, fast forward to last week. The entire department, including the/my manager, has known that I'd be off the latter half of the week. I even sent an email indicating that I would be out, and set up an autoresponse as well. "If you are contacting Mileron for any internal technical support issues such as program updates, please contact his counterpart".

When I returned on Monday, I see four emails - two from Lead Rep and two from UsageRep.

LR: Hi, I need you to install X Y Z programs on UR's computer. 9:08am Eastern Thursday
LR: Hi, did you get those programs installed for UR? 10:04am Eastern Thursday
UR: Did you get the email from LR? I really need those programs installed. 11:24am Eastern Thursday
UR: (cc to LR) LR, Mileron hasn't yet helped me with getting the programs installed. 1:48pm Eastern Thursday

Yesterday morning when I returned to the office, I sent them both an email asking if the programs still needed to be installed. They definitely do.

First off, they both would have received my autoresponse. Secondly, as mentioned, my autoresponse indicates "contact someone specific".

So, I did the possibly bitchy thing and called them out on it.

"I was out of the office last week as indicated by my autoresponse. You should have contacted (my counterpart) or someone else in Systems (especially since you have two people from my systems group local to you) instead of waiting 3+ days.
If you want to try it yourself, go to (server location) and run (these files).
If you want help, block out at least thirty minutes with the permission of LR dependent on call volume and I will assist you."

Be interesting to see what the response is. Well, not really. But still.

It seems I have a new problem user.

PU: What does it mean when Outlook asks me for a password?
Me: Did you reset your password recently?
PU: No
Me: Did you get prompted for a password reset recently?
PU: No
Me: Did the help desk help you change or reset or unlock your password recently?
PU: No
Me: Did you contact the help desk for password assistance?
PU: Yes, they changed it for me
Me: Have you rebooted since then?
PU: No
Me: Reboot your computer then
PU: Oh, it's not that important, I can wait til later.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Mileron

It seems I have a new problem user.

PU: What does it mean when Outlook asks me for a password?
Me: Did you reset your password recently?
PU: No
Me: Did you get prompted for a password reset recently?
PU: No
Me: Did the help desk help you change or reset or unlock your password recently?
PU: No
Me: Did you contact the help desk for password assistance?
PU: Yes, they changed it for me
Me: Have you rebooted since then?
PU: No
Me: Reboot your computer then
PU: Oh, it's not that important, I can wait til later.

---

That's not a problem user, that's flat out an idiot.

Was this user a man or a woman, and were they "white" sounding?

Quote:

---

Was this user a man or a woman, and were they "white" sounding?

---

WTF Stupidity cross all gender/race boundaries. Why would you even ask this?

Okay, so bigoted forecast says that I picture a white pretentious woman with holier than thou personality was behind this waste of time.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris

Okay, so bigoted forecast says that I picture a white pretentious woman with holier than thou personality was behind this waste of time.

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double points if she drives an Audi SUV and always takes up no less than two spots at the supermarket.

As opposed to that other white woman, Ada Lovelace, who was pretty much the first person to program a computer? Or that other white woman, Hedy Lamarr, who created Spread Spectrum technology to help beat the Nazis and give you wifi at Starbucks?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae

As opposed to that other white woman, Ada Lovelace, who was pretty much the first person to program a computer? Or that other white woman, Hedy Lamarr, who created Spread Spectrum technology to help beat the Nazis and give you wifi at Starbucks?

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Precisely. Neither of those women would call help desk and say No 3 times to the same question followed by us by the same question and then deny their remedy.

*followed by yes to the same question

Nice try you racist sexist shitlord. :p

Passive aggressive problem reporting again:

"Have you received any reports of phone trouble?"

No.

"Oh, well 'worker A' was talking to client; then the client called back and said when they tried to call "other organization & 2nd organization" they couldn't get through."

The client tried to call?

"Yes".

Then how is this a problem with our Phones?

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Was given a laptop today to work on.

Had sticky notes covering the webcam lens. Or would be if this model had a webcam....

Points for effort though?

Supervisor: carbon monoxide is heavier than air
Tinthalas: it is not

Supervisor: it is heavier than oxygen, and it will cause you to suffocate because of all sink and push all of the oxygen to the ceiling while you also.

Tinthalas : the molar mass of breathable oxygen is 44. Co is 28. It will asphyxiate through impediment of hemoglobin to bond with oxygen by permanently causoing a bond between hemoglobin and co which will not displace until the end of that hemoglobin's service life in the blood stream, causing the body's detriment for uptake of oxygen into the bloodstream.

Supervisor : i watched a documentary on carbon monoxide entering a home, dyed to be seen as it sinks to the ground.
Tinthalas : co is odorless and colorless. The source would have to have been a dyed pressurized gas whose source was cooler than the air it was being injected to, and only the dye would be observable, otherwise the co molecule would no longer be Co.

Supervisor : the source was from a burner where the co was going through and not igniting.
Tinthalas : if gas is heated or ignited and circulated through convection currents, it will be hotter than the surrounding air and float to the top and as it cools, eventually dissipate into the air surrounding it.

Supervisor : well, i want you to research this and get back to me when you have a credible source.


WTF.

Supervisor line 1 is supposed to read:

it is heavier than oxygen, and it will cause you to suffocate because it will sink and push all of the oxygen to the ceiling.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris

Supervisor: carbon monoxide is heavier than air
Tinthalas: it is not

Supervisor: it is heavier than oxygen, and it will cause you to suffocate because of all sink and push all of the oxygen to the ceiling while you also.

Tinthalas : the molar mass of breathable oxygen is 44. Co is 28. It will asphyxiate through impediment of hemoglobin to bond with oxygen by permanently causoing a bond between hemoglobin and co which will not displace until the end of that hemoglobin's service life in the blood stream, causing the body's detriment for uptake of oxygen into the bloodstream.

Supervisor : i watched a documentary on carbon monoxide entering a home, dyed to be seen as it sinks to the ground.
Tinthalas : co is odorless and colorless. The source would have to have been a dyed pressurized gas whose source was cooler than the air it was being injected to, and only the dye would be observable, otherwise the co molecule would no longer be Co.

Supervisor : the source was from a burner where the co was going through and not igniting.
Tinthalas : if gas is heated or ignited and circulated through convection currents, it will be hotter than the surrounding air and float to the top and as it cools, eventually dissipate into the air surrounding it.

Supervisor : well, i want you to research this and get back to me when you have a credible source.


WTF.

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[emoji33]

Sent from my 5017B using Tapatalk

Going to be honest I always thought it was heavier and that was why it tended to build up in basements first. But then I googled and found it really is a wee bit lighter.

What sources did that supervisor use though I wonder because all the top Google hits gave me the right answer of .28 .

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker

Going to be honest I always thought it was heavier and that was why it tended to build up in basements first. But then I googled and found it really is a wee bit lighter.

What sources did that supervisor use though I wonder because all the top Google hits gave me the right answer of .28 .

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I was lead to believe this when the report came out to my department as the rage came around when i was working for a different company. We were told it was a heavy gas, like everyone. Then all the detector manufacturers started making duplex plug in models, etc.

Everyone thought it. It was eluded in the CA developers handbook and other official materials.

Years ago i tracked it down to a ca.gov article attached to the legislation issued by the california fire Marshall. It has hence been fixed,but too few people realize it.

Well part of the confusion comes from the fact Carbon dioxide is heavier than air. So it's pretty easy to relate it to its non Mormon cousin that only hooked up with one oxygen.

Customer uses one of our small utility programs much more than we ever expected.
They migrate the programs to a new server and start getting all kinds of errors that we've never seen in conjunction with this program before because well, no one uses it to support 12-15 users or 500+ datasets. Historically, the most we see is 1-2 users and a couple dozen datasets.
So yeah, they hammer this little program.

The first call in August we got everything back up and running. However, I informed the developer as kind of a "check out what these people are doing with the program, isn't this awesome?" kind of comment.

The second call in September they start getting bizarre "out of memory" errors for files that are a tiny fraction (less than 5MB) at which the database engine maxes out (4GB).
Normally if it were specific to a field, the error would state that, but it doesn't.
So I submit an escalation and the developer basically throws up his arms and says "Got me."

I did some digging and poking and prodding.
The utility program uses a data table in the executable folder to cache the information. So I provided a blank copy of those files from a brand new install of the program on my own computer for the customer's install to repopulate with the necessary information.
Unfortunately, more errors popped up.
Again, the developer says "Iunno."

At this point, the customer's complaining about the lack of support he's getting for an application that was never envisioned to be used at the scale which they are beating this poor little program. (And that's my own opinion, and not anything explicitly said by the developer.)
It also doesn't help that this program is also not monetized - we make no money on its availability.
He calls me up and basically says "we don't want to go back to using Excel to track this stuff" - which I fully understand, but if I can't get the support I need from the developer, whaddamigonnado?

I end up running a bunch of options past the developer, including removing each dataset's trackable 2KB file (which is what gets added to the executable datacache), which would unfortunately have two drawbacks:
1 - any custom entries would be lost
2 - the firm would need to rebuild all of that information on their own time/dime

The developer comes back and says, "You know, the program you're asking about has a temporary cache folder that is created on a per-user basis. If this folder's contents get corrupt, you could see all kinds of problems."

Um... the escalation's been open over a month - on a program that's been available since mid-2010 and most recently updated Oct 2015 - why am I just finding out about this now?


:hulk:

ahh good ole temp cache folders, Adobe AE CC has one of those and that fucker can chew up HDD space and it does not reliably dump that cache either.

User brings laptop to Tweedledumber because a desktop Icon for a network application disappeared.

Tweedledumber: Stares at it blankly for 10 minutes. Finally gives up.

User brings the laptop to me. 30 seconds later back out the door. Tweedledumber says "He fixed it?" User: "Yup, sure did". Tweedledumber "well how?" User: "He grabbed it back out of the recycle bin". Tweedledumber: "Why didn't I think of that?"

I want to make a snarky remark but I just can't even think of an appropriate one for that level of dumb.

Did I ever mention the time we had a neighborhood temperature spike of about 110F that overwhelmed our air conditioning, and the temp was climbing in our server room, which was huge, 30'x60' and a 20 foot ceiling. The guy who was allegedly better educated than most of us who had been put in charge of Operations ordered me to run down to the store and buy 100 lbs of ice. I didn't even need the back of an envelope to know that 100 lbs of ice would only drop the temperature in that volume of air by a degree or two for less than half an hour. Putting up a mister outside the building would have been a much better use of our time and money than melting ice all over the floor, which made quite a mess that we were dealing with long after the outside temperature dropped back down to the low three digits.

I guess what I'm saying is that the guys who lie on their resumes and are not actually all that competent at the physical sciences and technology tend to work hard to get promoted to positions where they never have to touch a wrench, but they can still fuck things up because they direct the people who do wield the wrenches to do incredibly stupid things sometimes.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alikat Astrae

Did I ever mention the time we had a neighborhood temperature spike of about 110F that overwhelmed our air conditioning, and the temp was climbing in our server room, which was huge, 30'x60' and a 20 foot ceiling. The guy who was allegedly better educated than most of us who had been put in charge of Operations ordered me to run down to the store and buy 100 lbs of ice. I didn't even need the back of an envelope to know that 100 lbs of ice would only drop the temperature in that volume of air by a degree or two for less than half an hour. Putting up a mister outside the building would have been a much better use of our time and money than melting ice all over the floor, which made quite a mess that we were dealing with long after the outside temperature dropped back down to the low three digits.

I guess what I'm saying is that the guys who lie on their resumes and are not actually all that competent at the physical sciences and technology tend to work hard to get promoted to positions where they never have to touch a wrench, but they can still fuck things up because they direct the people who do wield the wrenches to do incredibly stupid things sometimes.

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Lol. In a situation like that, you are ultimately just fucked.

Ac probably is not running as optimal as it normally does and could use a service, but regardless, once you are there, you are fucked!

Yeah we have a few measures that can get us through a really hot day, but when people are driving to Hell to cool off, we are pretty much just fucked. :(

That is when you need a more powerful AC system. Sounds like you are a few tons short of a properly sized AC system.

Down side is most server rooms have no exterior access so you cannot even prop a few doors open and try to let "cooler" outside air in if the system is really failing.

But hey throwing a bunch of garden sprinklers on the roof might have actually helped ;) Or even better point a hose at the AC condenser unit if it was not a water tower and was just a normal copper coils and fans setup I have heard of that in extreme heat people will spray them to help the system stay closer to operation ranges.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker

That is when you need a more powerful AC system. Sounds like you are a few tons short of a properly sized AC system.

Down side is most server rooms have no exterior access so you cannot even prop a few doors open and try to let "cooler" outside air in if the system is really failing.

But hey throwing a bunch of garden sprinklers on the roof might have actually helped ;) Or even better point a hose at the AC condenser unit if it was not a water tower and was just a normal copper coils and fans setup I have heard of that in extreme heat people will spray them to help the system stay closer to operation ranges.

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Its funny, really. People see a technician do something and then assume he is doing it for one reason.

Hosing down the roof might help cool the roof, but the insulation beneath, esp if the site has a dropped/recessed commercial ceiling is already handling the natural cooling of the room.

The water on the coils is to get dust and dirt off the system.

I see people put insulation on the copper lines (redrigerant supply), thinking it will make things cool faster.

Well, sure. Maybe a drop of rocket fuel, undetectable will get you to the finish line in a drag race by a nose ahead of the conpetitor, but it is going to take a full tank to make the insured true performance difference of a guaranteed win.

Further comparison to cars:

You service your car once every 3 months. You change filters, oil and maybe a belt here and there, and are told, ideally, what else needs to be done.

Most people do not service their a/c until it is already broken.

That makes no fucking sense.

Honestly the only line on AC loops I have seen insulated by a professional is suction and that is usually more to keep it from dripping if it has to run any real distance. Since naturally suction line will get cool and sweat and drip.

We service our HVAC system twice a year. In the fall to get the heating tuned up and cleaned and in the spring to get the AC checked.

Me: With everything that we need to do to resolve your issue, I estimate it will take at least 90 minutes to complete. I highly recommend we either do this first thing tomorrow, or late afternoon, say after 2pm.
Caller: How's 10:30 in the morning sound to you?

... :ohreally:

For some people, 10:30 is literally "first thing in the morning."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker

Honestly the only line on AC loops I have seen insulated by a professional is suction and that is usually more to keep it from dripping if it has to run any real distance. Since naturally suction line will get cool and sweat and drip.

We service our HVAC system twice a year. In the fall to get the heating tuned up and cleaned and in the spring to get the AC checked.

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You are the exception to the rule.

A great a/c blower will cause the evaporator to have excess condensation evaporate before it drips. A decent one will have a condensate pan with a drain line.

A bad one you seecdripping (or has low freon).

And if the AH is mounted in an attic an overflow pan under the unit. While a clog is rare, why bet your sheetrock.

The Stupid it burns.

User trying to do something over the wireless - accessing a server using a different protocol (SMB) then the majority of our users use to access that server (http). He speaks to our webmaster about the access denied issue... and gets "well, that just doesn't work over the wireless, you're just screwed, can't do it that way".

He talks to me saying "Oh this is just perfect except webmaster says I can't do "this".

To which my response is, "While webmaster is technically correct - she's also a fucking idiot - you can't do that, because there hasn't been a need to do that yet; so here, give me 30 seconds with my firewall access lists and BAM! FUcking magic happens. "


The worst part about "webmaster" is she doesn't even know how to fucking ask intelligent questions. Hit's a stumbling block and the brain shuts down. "can't do that..." Doesn't ask Hmmm, WHY can't we do that? and we can't do that simply because nobody has needed to do that before you fucking moron.

Uncle called me and asked if I knew how to fix routers.

after a 192.168.1.1, etc I asked him to plug the modem into the laptop.

Long story short?

Router was fine. Cable Modem was not plugged in.

When I worked in cable tech support since we knew which model of modem people had one of the first questions is "How many lights on the xx brand box are on". First thing we learned is never say modem because they would always say "My Link-Sees is on" yes that is how non technical people pronounced Linksys. Usually if you got them to find the Motorola box it was unplugged(Moto was the most common brand deployed by cable companies for awhile) Some folks though you had to tell them it was the box with the cat ears symbol(look at the moto logo... its stylized cat ears when you are making things simple)... Or the most idiot proof one "The box by the Linksys with a TV wire into it" (TV wire is the cable line, But oddly enough saying TV Wire always got better results)