UGH.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawlin
The only thing worse than browser plugins is every piece of CRM software I have ever touched, especially if you're using it on a terminal server or a citrix farm.
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UGH.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawlin
The only thing worse than browser plugins is every piece of CRM software I have ever touched, especially if you're using it on a terminal server or a citrix farm.
Thankfully (or sometimes not, but that's a very very long topic of conversation) the CRM software is browser-based. So most problems are solved to the tune of "Shut down every IE window you have open, try again".
They're using it locally, no terminal servers. Thankfully!
Monday. Always Monday.
Before I could even hit the "on" button on the coffee maker at work, I had to cut into 6 different sections of drywall before finding the darn piece of ABS that somebody decided to pour bleach and drano down (This is called a DRANO BOMB), causing the 2 inch clogged line to literally explode.
I went in with our drywall guy (the guy is a fucking genius when it comes to putting a piece of drywall back on and in place and looking flush - seriously, you might think you did a good job, this guy makes it look like no one was even in there to begin with) and replaced about 24 inches of ABS after pulling and replacing the toilet, and putting all the pieces back in and together.
It all started with knocking on the tenant's door about 12 times (because he didn't have keys, and I hadn't arrived yet) to letting myself in, and the dog coming down and barking his head off, to the son (19 years old?) coming down and grabbing the dog and putting it in his room, cutting the 6 holes, finding the problem, replacing the pipe, adding no-hubs, building new backing, reseating the drywall, mudding it, retexturing it, waiting half an hour for the VOCs to air our and dry, and then moving on, to get a phone call that the son (who let the dog into his room) was complaining about the smell of the texture and formally requested to open windows in the apartment because the son was suffering from back problems, and bronchities, and you name it. Saying I'd take care of it, but having to put all my drywall tools away (they take about half an hour to get cleaned so they don't rust).
When I got back to the apartment, the front door was open, the back sliding glass door was open, the kitchen window was opened - Mission accomplished, right? WRONG.
I call out, "Maintenance, HELLO?" "Maintenance HELLO!" (everyone says I yodel when I do this). I hear, "GET THE FUCK BACK!," in the most earnest of tweaker voices screamed down to me from upstairs. Followed swiftly by, "it's okay puppy, go into my room puppy, it's okay." followed by the son coming downstairs, lifting up a piece of furniture in rage and throwing it against a wall (Which i'm pretty sure caused damage) , followed THEN, by the kid handing me the phone he is on and saying, "You need to talk to my mom."
I talk to the lady and say, "Hello, this is Nick with maintenance, how can I help you?"
"Our toilet is clogged upstairs."
"Yes, I can take care of that."
GO upstairs, and 2 minutes with a plunger (that is next to the toilet), I have the darn thing flushing just fine. I've taught classes paid on overtime on how to use a plunger. Seriously. I'm not lying. $25 an hour, and I'm your private tutor on the subject.
After all was said and done, I tell all this to the manager of the property (its sort of required. WHen a tenant becomes physically agitated we have to report it, and I did). Shit hits the mother-fucking-fan. This lady basically is explaining every pent up bit of agression that her self-entitled son of god who doesn't have a job or any other responsibility suffers from every petty ailment under the sun.
Son and Sun. Thats how I truncate it when I tell people about the issue we all run into every once in a while.
Shit gets stupid when people decide to be stupid.
I could rant more, but I won't. Its weird.
Could you point me to the part that has ANY FUCKING THING to do with technology?
Quote:
Could you point me to the part that has ANY FUCKING THING to do with technology?
Plumbing Technology.Quote:
Technology (from Greek τέχνη, techne, "art, skill, cunning of hand"; and -λογία, -logia[1]) is the making, modification, usage, and knowledge of tools, machines, techniques, crafts, systems, and methods of organization, in order to solve a problem, improve a pre-existing solution to a problem, achieve a goal, handle an applied input/output relation or perform a specific function. It can also refer to the collection of such tools, including machinery, modifications, arrangements and procedures. Technologies significantly affect human as well as other animal species' ability to control and adapt to their natural environments. The term can either be applied generally or to specific areas: examples include construction technology, medical technology, and information technology.
You're welcome.
A different set of tubes that you back your dump truck onto.
Nobody likes a fucking smartass.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
Fuck you. Ok, I laughed.
It's a character flaw...Quote:
Nobody likes a fucking smartass.
but hey, to thine own self be true right?
So deal with it.
I know.Quote:
Ok, I laughed.
Not with out dinner first... well ok, maybe just some wine. Well how about some Scotch if you're in a hurry....Quote:
Fuck you.
Ooops.
I just realized the previous post had nothing to do with Technology... Wait does Scotch count? Distilling technology? Oh good - we're safe! :evil:
Is there some positive metric to tickets closed per time frame?Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
I ask this because I have seen where metrics ruin the quality of customer service because they run on pure numbers.
I have, always and forever will hate the numbers game.Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
I understand why it is in place, but it just pisses me off. Someone who completes tickets negligently, but quickly will be perceived as a racehorse, or a starbuck, and possibly someone who deserves to raise in the ranks quickly.
THe guys who go through all the typical diagnostic checks to just make sure everything is good get labeled as being slow - even though the are thorough.
Happens with CSRs, Techs, IT, you name it. Hate the numbers game.
Sadly I get the feeling the numbers are created by people who have never touched any part of a customer service job, be it a supermarket or phone rep. I state this because if everybody at the top had actually worked at the bottom they would know that customers like it when a CSR spends time on their problem rather than "Okay that did not work, I put in a ticket and we might have to roll a truck." However the metrics game demands otherwise. I am guessing this is why small companies have great customer service many times, They are still privately owned and if the owner wants to focus on good service they can.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris
Sales Rep: I need you to help my customer
Customer: I'm not in front of the computer so I couldn't even tell you what my issue is
Me, to SR: He wasn't in front of the computer and couldn't tell me what his problem was, so I gave him basic instructions, the support number and hours
SR: So what seems to be the issue?
It's obviously me. Duh.
Me, to SR: The customer wasn't in front of their computer.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
But I'm a big fan of "ask a stupid question..."
It drives me livid when people ask to borrow my tools. I have a very intimate relationship with my tools. They are always where they are supposed to be in my toolbag, and always function, and when they do not, I am the first to know about it, and am at the ready to repair or replace them as necessary, and usually have a ready backup until then.
For that reason, as they are my tools, and I have spent many years perfecting how they are ergonomically stored and retrieved like they are extensions of me, it truly bothers the hell out of me when tenants walk up to me and ask if they can borrow a tool. It is not so much that they are asking to borrow it, it is that they are persistant. The other day, I had a guy ask me for a spanner wrench - only, he used that term I disdain dreadfully, "monkey wrench."
I told him that unfortunately, I couldn't, I have a strict policy that I don't let tenants use my tools, solely because I would have to relinquish responsibility of them by giving them to the tenant (it is in our employee manual), and if he injured himself, I would have to hold myself responsible for not instructing him in the proper use of it.
He says, "Oh man, its only so I can get a nut off. I'll bring it right back."
He has a very hot peruvian wife, slimmer than my normal tastes, but for the moment, this proved inconsequential.
"Can I borrow your wife? I only need to get a nut off. You can have her right back."
I didn't say this, but it was definitely at the tip of my tongue. Instead I just apologized. And then watched his wife's ass bounce from a distance out of the corner of my eye.
Tech: I'm getting an error message
Me: Okay, what's the message?
Tech: reads me an error message that basically indicates an invalid and unusable data file
Tech: By the way, I really don't appreciate your support guys telling me I have a virus
Me: checking previous call, the last rep on my side told the user to get the tech on the phone due to possible virus
Me: Well sir I'm sorry you feel that way, as a tech myself I fully understand the pain of cleaning up virus infections. However the error message that you've given is relatively rare. When an actual corrupt data file occurs, the errors are different. This particular error states the table is invalid, which means the program cannot even detect that it's a usable data file. Over the last 9-10 months we have experienced a number of calls where a firm was struck by an encryption virus and resulted in the exact error message you read to me.
Tech: Prove it
Me: I walk him through opening a number of data files in Excel. All are encrypted. I walk him through opening a number of PDF and RTF files. All are encrypted.
Tech: That's not possible. I scanned the server and there's nothing active.
Me: But what if the virus is active on a workstation, and affecting the mapped drive upon which my program sits?
Tech: total silence for almost fifteen seconds
Tech: How do I fix it?
Me: Verify your server's clean and your workstations won't reinfect, and restore from backup.
Tech: You gotta be fucking kidding me.
You're right. July Fools!
Cryptolocker!
Hate that thing.
Not techsupport but a tale nonetheless
"Hey Ninetoes, you signed for a package yesterday and we don't have it here"
"Ok, what's the tracking number?"
"Don't have one"
....
"OK, what was the name on package?"...
"Don't know"
......
"Well I'm not going to be able to find out anything without at least a a name"
"....well that's not good, let me see if I can get you a tracking number"
A couple of minutes later..
"Here is the tracking number, they are insisting you signed for it"
Check ups.com: Package is out for delivery today, and had not been signed for
"Yeah, the package hasn't been delivered yet, will be delivered today."
"So you DIDN'T sign for it?"
/headdesk
I was thinking about that after reading about how it has developed into a more insidious design, and it is to the point where the practice of all backups all the time with massive redundancy is quite potentially made entirely moot or will require even greater, more costly efforts.Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
I receive an email forwarded from one of my sales reps.
It's from the vp of one of our customers, ranting/irate that we haven't responded to any emails his support group has sent us in at least four weeks.
The email includes the thread of their support reps complaint and a copy of one of the messages.
She spelled the email address wrong.
Not only did she not call us to follow up, but she also was supposedly not receiving undeliverable bouncebacks.
I get that one all the time! "What's wrong with the Emails... How come I'm not getting all my emails" etc etc etc... I dunno - let me check the logs. Well, that would be because the person sending to you is a moron. Next question?Quote:
She spelled the email address wrong.
"Can you come take a look at my printer?"
What's it doing?
"Well it's not printing, gives some error about can't print check blah blah blah".
"See, watch let me print".
Ok, now that I've turned the power back on let's try it again.
"Well, I just turned that off when I came to get you".
Yes, and I just turned it back on to Fix it.
"must be F.M."
Yes, applying the power is certainly magic indeed.
TWO FUCKING THINGS BACK TO BACK.
1st: Chevy Impala, 2011. My wife's car battery is at the end of its days.
Had to remove 7 bolts (7 fucking bolts?), make 4 parts adjustments, do 2 partial part removals, and then lift the fucking battery out of an enclosure that had absolutely no room for lift. It took me just as long to physically remove the battery as it did to access it.
Then after putting the new battery in, it would not start. It didn't make any sense. Brand new battery. lights in the cabin came on. basic On features of the car came on. Tried to start and it kicked once and went out.
Came inside, my pregnant wife was pregnant livid, and made pregnant livid phone calls to the mechanics in the family, and while she was on one, I went outside to turn the car on so i could roll up the windows and the fucker decided to start. Did a couple errands afterword, and it still is working.
i ain't done shit since it wouldn't start the car. WTF motherfucker. Seriously WTF!!!!!!!!!
Then, 2 hours later, I get a phone call from my boss. The property across the street (thank god it is across the street) is having flooding. Go over, on the phone with boss, get instructed where to find street access panel (80 pounds). Open the fucker up, and I spend 1 hour turning off ball valves trying to isolate the flood. Fucking shit. Man. This job is a bitch some days. All I will get is time anda half hourly compensation. But gottdamn it doesn't feel fucking right.
For you tech support guys who take home the bat-phone for a week at a time, what is the compensation schedule for the week you have the phone? Do you get a specific amount of money while you carry it, or do you get it put in as a stipend for the schedule where you carry it? Is it only for when you get the call? I think this is a fucking abusive-to-a-human policy to be constatntly at the wary for this kind of bullshit.
fucking shit.
At my last job I had the bat-phone every other week. I got £400 ($650?) per week, whether I was called or not.Quote:
For you tech support guys who take home the bat-phone for a week at a time, what is the compensation schedule for the week you have the phone? Do you get a specific amount of money while you carry it, or do you get it put in as a stipend for the schedule where you carry it? Is it only for when you get the call? I think this is a fucking abusive-to-a-human policy to be constatntly at the wary for this kind of bullshit.
I still find it funny that the corporate world actually uses the term Batphone. Just seems like those uptight bastards would not use a shoutout term and would instead come up with an overly complex acronym term for it.
BebotheredAnywhereTroubleshootingPHONEQuote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
Was that your regular salary, or was that the specific rate of pay to have it on you?Quote:
Originally Posted by HerbertDypp
Because, i don't think it is right that i can't enjoy a beer outside of work.
If you are required to respond within a certain amount of time and there are restrictions on your activities (such as no consumption of alcohol) then you are probably entitled to compensation, contact the labor board. You are paid hourly right?
Yep.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ibdaar
When I was hourly, me and the other guys who rotated with it charged any time spent outside regular business hours as overtime, so time and a half. One hour minimum, even if it was 15 minutes.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris
They recently converted me and most of the other guys to salary though, which means we get bupkis.
I rarely get stuck with it anymore though as I'm on site at a different airport pretty much every week. Only the in-house guys get stuck with it.
That was in addition to my regular salary. It didn't stop me enjoying a beer as I was never required to get to the office when called, only to login via laptop and sort issues with remote servers. Well, if the servers were inaccessible, the hosting company were responsible, I was responsible for keeping the companies custom software running on about 200 servers.Quote:
Was that your regular salary, or was that the specific rate of pay to have it on you?
That is the company's rationale. Mileage From home and TO site and Back to HOme, along with time and a half to the next hour.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerkahia
I just don't think it is fucking right. Pad the damn pay from all points a total of $100 bucks per day if no calls occur.
In the middle of my office move. Too many to recount. This is the only one I can remember at the moment due to migraine exhaustion.
Me (in an email to external user who no longer works for my department): Hi, we need you to ship us your company laptop. However, we're moving this week, so we need you to ship it next week so we can ensure it arrives at the new address correctly.
External User: No problem
Admin Assistant: I can email you a shipping label to save you costs
EU: But I don't want to give you my address
AA: I don't need your home address, and I already have your email
EU: No, you don't understand, I don't want you shipping me anything, so I don't want to give you my address
AA: But I'm sending the label to you in email
EU: How is my email going to ship the computer? And I'm still not giving you my address
Me: We'll take care of it, don't worry
EU: Oh, okay
AA: (later at my desk) Was she for real?
Me: Welcome to Tech Support.
Also if they have company property that means they got shipped that laptop at some point so somewhere said company already has their address.
Ahhhh, my bad. You were asking about any compensation received even if we didn't take any calls? Yeah, in my own experience: None. But I agree with you, there really should be.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris
And I don't mean to talk crap on the owners/investors of the company, and companies like it. It makes sense that by having someone on call, or someone willing to answer their phone for consultation is far more sensible than someone calling an emergency service from an outside vendor - it saves EVERYONE money.Quote:
Originally Posted by Nerkahia
But at what recompense?
I remember when my father-in-law first started with this company, started getting bumped up, and finally made some bigger positions. Brought on a friend of his with more knowledge as a lieutenant, and they started knocking out vendors from their vendor list (a good plumber is best at charging a rate that is good enough to keep you coming back, and not stop calling).
In the first year plumbing was taken over, he saved the company portfolio over 168,000 american dollars. It might not sound like very much, but that was in the very first year.
He and his Lieutenant were thinking there, "oh man, what is the christmas bonus going to be this year? $500? $1000? No.... no, they'll appreciate the bonus. It's gotta be something like $5000."
Christmas bonus was $100.
I mean, lets let bygones be bygones, but saving a company $168,000 in vendored expenses, having a go-to man on payroll who answered his phone very near to a 24/7 schedule, and either says, "yes" or "Lemmie take at it first." and his bonus ends up being less. LESS than 1% of the savings COMPANY wide?
It ends up being insulting.
BUT HEY! We don't own the business! And that is what happens!
So my office moved yesterday.
We've been sending emails for 2 weeks as a reminder saying "The site will be down permanently as the office is moving elsewhere."
10 minutes after the servers and internet/network devices were taken down on Friday, I got a call from netops saying "we monitored that your site is offline."
Today I've had four additional calls from monitoring groups in the UK and India saying the same thing.
It's a shame we don't have any kind of nearly-instantaneous communication where information could be shared to save a lot of people unnecessary frustration...
that shows how much people read their emails... Yet if Netops sent out an email about a server going down for a patch reset and someone called them they would bite the person's head off about not reading their emails.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
User enters ticket:
You guys shipped me a laptop without a battery.
Okay, investigation ensues and we can't figure out who the fuck shipped that laptop.
So I try to contact the user, asking for clarification (model, who sent it, etc). Voicemail.
User does not contact me back.
I try to contact the user again. Voicemail.
User does not contact me back.
Ticket gets updated to URGENT.
I try to contact the user....AGAIN. Voicemail.
User does contact me back and leaves a voicemail.
Voicemail says:
Well, technically I don't know whether my laptop has a battery or not.
I send user pictures of a laptop with and without a battery.
User does not contact me back.
:banghead:
id say get a tracking number for the package but this user sounds too dumb to know what that is.
Other Tech:"There's something wrong with the network in room X."
Me: Did you try the other Jack?
OT: Well no, but I think this is the one it was plugged into before.
Me: Try the other jack.
OT: It still doesn't work.
Me: Did you switch to the other jack?
OT: No.
Me: There, now it works.
OT: What did you do?
Me: I plugged into the other jack. This one is set to staff - this one is set to guest. You plugged in a computer with a fixed staff network address into a switch port specifically set for guests. That's why it doesn't work.
OT: I don't get it.
Me: I'll go get my 2x4 we'll see if we can explain this properly. *wack* This Jack no worky for this computer; *wack* THis jack worky for this computer. *wack*.... Do we get it now? *wack*
--- Boss: What was the problem?
Me: Wrong network jack.
--- Boss: Wasn't that what you told OT to try?
Me: Yup.
--- Boss: So did he?
Me: I dunno, I went up, pinged the gateway, ping timed out... I swapped to the other jack, pinged the gateway -everything works. -- we have access to network resources...
:rofl:Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
I cannot COUNT the number of times something like this has happened to me before.
Bonus points for the 2x4.
I should re-label the putter I have in my cube (no, I don't golf, it was left behind by someone) from "Monitor Calibration Tool" to either "Printer Repair Tool" or "LART".
I'm curious if you guys get bothered by individuals who call the Gateway a Modem.Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
Don't recall ever hearing that one.Quote:
I'm curious if you guys get bothered by individuals who call the Gateway a Modem.
Major personal pet peeve though - is calling the "Computer, including case and all internal components" the "Hard Drive".
Or when they tell you "I did turn on the computer" when in fact all they did was turn on the monitor.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
Nope because in some cases today the router is a modem too. Lots of ISPs now setup units that are both the cable modem and the gateway/router.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinthalas Tigris
HaHa! Email received today... Paraphrased:
It's to hard to remember how to type a password with only 3 tries... I want to officially request 6...
Here's your official: "Request DENIED! Resubmit in 30 days for further denial."
Now this employee has been with us for oh, at least 6 years...
I don't think I've had it either, although there's a LOT of confusion between modem and router/firewall device. It's worse in enterprise client environments where there are managed switches and multiple ISP connections present, too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
I had a job once (7-10 years ago) where my predecessor (who had been there for 7 years before I replaced him) had three push pins and a ton of closely grouped pushpin holes in the drywall bordering his cube right above an old 70~ish gb scsi drive.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
One held the bottom side of a floppy disk with the internal platter showing, right next to it was the label side of the floppy disk plastic, and then a little farther over was a hard drive platter.
I was there for a good two weeks before I started decorating my cube and finally asked "are these important? can I take them down" and was met with laughter.
One coworker said "Can I do it?" and when allowed, imitated my predecessor as follows.
Apparently, my predecessor, we'll call him "Frank", so often had people showing up at his desk asking for "hard disks" that he had to crack open a floppy and effectively nail it to the wall with a pushpin so he could yell
Apparently this happened multiple times a week with only a few hundred employees...for YEARS.Quote:
"I THINK YOU WANT A FLOPPY DISK.... THIS IS A FLOPPY DISK. SEE, THIS PART IS *yanks out pin and wobbles 3.5" floppy disk platter at person's face* ~FLOPPY~ *wobble wiggle wobble*. *impales busted floppy back on wall* THIS *yanks platter and waves it at them while flicking it with his finger so it makes noise* IS WHAT IS INSIDE OF A HARD DISK. *shoves it back on the wall* A HARD DISK LOOKS LIKE THIS WHEN IT IS PUT TOGETHER. *Lifts up SCSI drive and waggles it at them, then slams it down* WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?!?!?
Apparently he was wound pretty tightly anyway, but still...most of the employees had been there since 5 1/4" floppies were still widely used.
The worst part is, with the advent of solid state drives telling someone "okay, power down your machine since it's non-responsive, then wait a couple of seconds and power it back on. Let me know when it's done" CAN actually result in 15 second boot times on high end machines, so you have to ask them to describe their monitor because that's about how long it takes for a 21" sony crt to power back on when that's the only thing they turned off.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
Easiest way I've found to mitigate that is to run a continuous remote ping on their machine with remote control software (Kaseya works great for this, even when a machine is unresponsive, and other software will literally let you know a machine has disconnected from the command and control server for a reboot sometimes) THEN tell them to reboot.
But yeah, I saw the "reboot = power cycle monitor" at least twice a month PERSONALLY until recently. It was at least 3 times a week team-wide.
Thankfully my current job has far more intelligent users, most of whom can find their own IP from command prompt without being walked through it.
YOU GOT TO USE IT!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
:rockon:
Also, this is where I would put in an ITIL asset change request (invisible to the user) for a computer replacement.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
Quote:
Change out user item:
Lenovo X-1 Carbon, serial number XXXXXXXX Asset Tag XXXXXXX
for the following items:
TOPS The Legal Pad Legal Pad, Perforated, Legal/Wide Rule, 50 Sheets per Pad, 12 Pads per Pack, 8.5 x 11.75 Inches, Canary (7532)
and
BIC Round Stic Xtra Life Ball Pen, Medium Point (1.0 mm), Black, 12-Count
Reason: Pen & Paper Brigade
Related Items: Security REQUEST XXXXXXX "Remove all sharp objects from username's cubicle. Policy Involved: Running With Scissors
I had a coworker tell me yesterday that she bought a 24k gold plated Ethernet cable...
So she could ensure her email would be delivered as quickly as possible.
Should ask her if she's noticed that her Youtube videos have better playback sound quality now...Quote:
I had a coworker tell me yesterday that she bought a 24k gold plated Ethernet cable...
So she could ensure her email would be delivered as quickly as possible.
:evil:
Should of told her that it needs to be de-ionized once a month for optimal performance. You would be willing to do it for $10 a month. When she finally catches on tell her it was a stupid tax for buying a gold plated Ethernet cable.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
Ok, His Idea is better.Quote:
Should of told her that it needs to be de-ionized once a month for optimal performance. You would be willing to do it for $10 a month. When she finally catches on tell her it was a stupid tax for buying a gold plated Ethernet cable.
The sad part is, she probably wouldn't ever catch on.Quote:
Originally Posted by Uggliey
This is 'Murrica. That's the good part.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sardonus
"Who do I talk to about getting permission to use this database that I use every month"...
ummmmm.... :wtf:
"Who do I talk to about getting permission to use this database that I use every month"...
ummmmm.... :wtf:
"I need to do this report, that the front-end doesn't have; but my support said I could open it in access, and do the report that way, but I don't have the necessary permissions to open it in Access"...
ummmmm...... :wtf:
"well, I go out to network location and it's just not there. -- Oh, I was looking in the wrong spot, teee-heee"
:wtf::hammer:
Coworker: My husband bought me a wireless speaker for Christmas so I can listen to Pandora anywhere in the house
Me: Okay
Coworker: Except when I try to connect it to my work laptop, it says "Wifi must be enabled by your IT administrator."
Me: Are you sure it's a wifi speaker? I'm pretty sure it'll be Bluetooth, which our laptops don't support
Coworker: It's definitely a wifi speaker
Me: Read the box to me
Coworker: Bose 414255 Bluetooth Wireless speaker
Me: That's not wifi. That's Bluetooth wireless. There's a difference.
Coworker: No there's not!
On the bright side, she can buy a USB Bluetooth dongle.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mileron
I tried using one of those for a while to automatically lock my workstation at work when I stepped away.
Sadly, despite trying multiple pieces of software, none of them allowed a true range adjustment, so my machine would stay unlocked despite my phone being 200ft down the hall and around the corner with me and I wanted it to lock if I was more than about 10 feet away so the fast typers in the office couldn't send e-mails as me when I got out to shouts of "EMERGENCY!" and ran to someone else's cube.
Settled on just locking it manually before getting out of my chair.
Yeah, I sent her to Best Buy to get one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
She in turn sent her husband, who asked the first employee he saw - a female - for a USB dongle. I wish I could have been there to see her response.
I've been doing this for so many years that I don't even think about it anymore. I just slam windows + L whenever I leave my desk.Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
This.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dawlin
Never leave your desk without locking it.
Ok one only the Techies will understand:
IP address obtained from DHCP : 192.168.1.60
Gateway: 192.168.1.1
DNS servers (Not obtained from DHCP) 10.1.10.20
10.1.10.30
--- Geee - the internet don't work?? I wonder why U Can't find any websites?
LOLQuote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
Nice.
Gremlins?Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
Why hell was it configured like that?Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
Because somebody was stupid --Quote:
Why hell was it configured like that?
those two DNS IP's are my actual office DNS servers.
But they'd taken a laptop set the dns servers manually - but then the tech was setting up the VPN client - well the VPN only accepts connections from outside, so she fired up a Verizon Mi-Fi connected to that, but Didn't change the DNS back to DHCP.
When of course, if they'd have left the whole network settings to DHCP they would have been just fine.
I've seen that done a lot over the years, actually.
Someone will have a poorly configured DNS server, so some tech will fix it by setting to something static and not note anything anywhere or explain to the user what they did.
User moves somewhere else/visits a spoke office/any number of other things and suddenly things don't work.
What's worse is when some tech starts using the hosts file as a solution for any and everything that won't resolve instead of looking into WHY it won't resolve.
2 years later someone upgrades something in the infrastructure or changes an A record to point to a different IP because they swapped out a server and BAM nobody can figure out why this one guy can't access anything.
These days most level 1 techs don't even KNOW what a hosts file is and DNS is black magic voodoo to most of them.
My favorite was the one where some client could access their newly externally hosted website from outside of their LAN but not from inside the LAN.
Turns out their internal domain was the same as their website: companyname.com and nobody thought to update the www DNS record on the PDC when they moved the website from internally hosted to externally hosted. Their contracted developer had everything working fine because he'd never tried it from the LAN.
Took FOUR techs three days before someone thought to escalate the issue to me.
They were absolutely certain that the web developer had messed up and wouldn't let go of it long enough to contemplate any other options.
Now, I've seen a WHOLE lot of web developers who don't understand jack squat about client-server networks or dns or smtp or anything. I could be a six-armed hindu deity and I wouldn't have enough digits to count the number of times a web developer has fucked up SMTP mailflow by not understanding what MX and SPF records are, but you'd think when it works 100% correctly externally and ONLY doesn't work from within the LAN, that you'd stop looking at the web developer right?
Nope, they finally went to me.
5 minutes later? Fixed.
I'm still shocked that they couldn't figure out that pinging it from the inside returned the internal IP to the old internal webserver, which was no longer there, while pinging it from our office gave the correct external server address.
One quick A record change later and all was good.
The sheer shock and awe of the techs around me, two of them level 2 technicians with 10+ years experience, just made me hang my head and convinced me that troubleshooting simply cannot be taught.
The answer to that is quite simple - people don't read. when they do read they don't comprehend.Quote:
I'm still shocked that they couldn't figure out that pinging it from the inside returned the internal IP to the old internal webserver, which was no longer there, while pinging it from our office gave the correct external server address.
To them, ping is magic - it either works or it doesn't, they don't "interpret".
Using your brain to comprehend the logic of a system is apparently engineer level sorcery to most. I learned long ago to just not dwell on it if the person in question isn't a tech of some sort. If they are I may or may not report the lack of useful technical skills to their chain of command.
Yeah. I totally get it.
I just don't completely understand the scope of your realm which you do tech support for. Are you the in-hour Sr IT Guy for a large corporation, or are you the Sr guy who goes throughout a wide portfolio of clients?
If the case is the latter, I could better understand this being the case.
Were you asking me or Merrick?Quote:
I just don't completely understand the scope of your realm which you do tech support for. Are you the in-hour Sr IT Guy for a large corporation
For me, I'm the Senior IT guy for a small local government in MN.
Coworker: Customer needs a CD with their licensed program updates shipped to them because they don't have internet
Me: Okay
(created the CD and had it shipped)
Coworker: The customer complained that you didn't include the internet-based securities resource app
Me: Right, because they don't have the internet
Coworker: But if they download the program while, say, at a Starbucks or something, can they use the program then?
Me: If they don't have internet in their office, they can't use the app, because they need to have a continuous internet connection for it
Coworker: But they don't have internet at their office
Me: Yes, now you understand
Coworker: So why didn't you send them the app update?
Hey Melcar, can you help us with this printer -- just got this new one, and I got all the other computers connected to it, but this one won't connect... We asked "other tech" - and she said something about this computer was restricted?
Melcar: "UMmmmm what?"
"Yeah, it didn't make any sense to me either"
Melcar: "OK, let me just take a look Ah, don't have the right driver edition... Yes I suppose 32 bit windows is restricted from using the 64bit driver... Give me 2 minutes and I'll load the 32 driver onto the server."
Read Understand - Take action... Yup - I'm a miracle worker to these fools.
I was asking you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
And yeah. Sr. IT Guy, Local Government. It all makes sense.
I know a couple guys who work in similar sections of my city, and I've heard all too many similar stories from them.
Bottom Line? - People think their offices are just as easily "plug and play" as their home network. When problems arise, they think YOU (the IT GUY) is the problem, and YOU don't understand how "the internet" works.
This is THE reason why I chose to avoid this line of work about 15 years ago - End Users are too capable of looking up the wrong information that is irrelevant by way of the Google without asking the proper questions, paying proper attention to related syntax and then implementing those small grains of perceived understanding properly - and I can't deal with it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8_Kfjo3VjU
Honestly his stories aren't too different than ones you will hear from any competent SysAdmin.
Except the fucker will never provide pictures.
I've been receiving nearly daily calls from this one particular customer who keeps playing phone tag with his Account Manager. I send her an IM after the most recent contact from the customer.
Me: The customer really wants to talk to you regarding his pricing changes
Her: Did you tell him I was at lunch?
Me: I said you were unavailable
Her: Did you tell him that I have a new iPhone to pay for?
Me: No, but somehow I doubt he'd appreciate it.
Her: Is he on the phone now?
Me: No, I let him go, let him go, he didn't want to wait anymore, let him go, let him go, until you came back to give what-for. I don't care what he has to say, but he wants to give us money so let him pay
Her: I don't care what he's going to say, let the man rage on and on and on... New Yorkers never bothered me anyway!
Please tell me you had good harmony during this part.Quote:
No, I let him go, let him go, he didn't want to wait anymore, let him go, let him go, until you came back to give what-for. I don't care what he has to say, but he wants to give us money so let him pay
Her: I don't care what he's going to say, let the man rage on and on and on... New Yorkers never bothered me anyway!
You would say this on the day I left my Iphone at my house too!Quote:
Except the fucker will never provide pictures.
Fucker.
[quyote] competent SysAdmin.[/quote] Woohoo! I'm competent! Nicest thing anybody's said about me in years!
Quote:
IP address obtained from DHCP : 192.168.1.60
Gateway: 192.168.1.1
DNS servers (Not obtained from DHCP) 10.1.10.20
10.1.10.30
--- Geee - the internet don't work?? I wonder why U Can't find any websites?
OH good GOD!
I just got a call from this laptop user -- "Internet not working"...
Get up there, (original tech went home early)...
Sure enough, DNS settings are set to Fixed again.
If it's DHCP leave it On DHCP!. fuck why is this concept so fucking hard to explain?
Me: I need you to use your old domain admin account to reset the password on my old domain admin account
Lead Tech: Sure
LT: Wait, I can't use my old domain admin account to change new domain accounts
Me: But I don't need you to change my new domain account. I need you to change my old domain account.
LT: But my old domain account doesn't access the new domain
Me: Right, but because my old domain admin account is on the old domain, you don't have to worry about the new one
LT: So how do we get valid new domain accounts, or do we at all?
Me: I told Netops that we'll need them for when Dev starts VM testing. I was told that, since she doesn't have any VMs to test, they don't want to give us admin accounts yet.
LT: Nice, so what was Netops' response?
Me: ... That we need to actually have something to administer before they'll give us administrative logins
LT: So your old domain admin account works on the old domain
Me: Yes, I'd like you to reset the password on my old domain admin account please, because I still use it to administer the old domain-based server that we use
LT: So you want me to reset OD\Youradmin?
Me: Yes please
Who's on first?
Jesus.
It might seem like something only encountered in IT, but that is my day to day in dealing with people at work in general, only far more obtuse and much less receptive.
Stupidity follows all walks of life...Quote:
It might seem like something only encountered in IT, but that is my day to day in dealing with people at work in general, only far more obtuse and much less receptive.
For example, this is one my ex-wife told me, she worked at the reception desk of an automotive repair shop.
Elderly man brought in a vehicle that wasn't starting. Repair shop looked the vehicle over; and said OK, it's going to cost minimum ($x) to fix it.... This vehicle is not worth it - are you sure you want us to do this?
Elderly man says, No I'll just come and get it.
Short while later - repair shop gets a summons to small claims court -- See because Repair shop didn't fix the starter (per his instructions) he was forced to "pull start" the vehicle... (get it to speed & pop the clutch)../... Well, he did that a few times & burned out the clutch. (big shocker).
He explained all this to the judge; the judge turned repair shop owner siad "ok,anything to ad?"
Nope...
Tech people get that too where someone calls in wanting help with an old operating system and a computer that is equally old... Once with Comcast I got a call for someone wanting help with Mac OS9... and it was in 2008 or 8 years after the initial release of OSX.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
We have pc's on our network that are running win2k - the pcs themselves are 10+ years old. Some of the servers are still running win2k server. Oh the joys of a government contracts :)Quote:
Originally Posted by FilanFyretracker
My stories all go the other way. Fairly switched on long term employee clashing with jaded, cynical tech support department used to dealing with people who have no idea. :(
Following a team relocation a co-workers PC wouldn't log in. Pretty obvious problem - the network cable isn't plugged in.
But plugging it in doesn't work, none of the 3 ports at that location seem to be active. So as we have a software based phone system (Microsoft Lync) I call for her.
Me - "Hi, blah introduction, my coworker can't log in as none of the network ports at her location are active following the desk move"
TS - "All PC's were tested and signed off as working following the relocation"
Me - "Ok, great, but this one can't connect to the network, the cable wasn't plugged in so it couldn't have been signed off"
TS - 'I have an email saying that all PC's were tested and working"
Me - "Well this one isn't, can someone come and look at it, I've tried all 3 ports at that location, shut down between trying each one and confirmed using a different PC that there are no problems with the cable. Is it possible that a port just needs to be activated or something?"
TS - "Was there a PC at this location previously?"
Me - "I can't say for sure as we only moved here today but I think there was"
TS - "If there was no PC then you need to raise a request to activate that location"
Me - "Thats automatic on the relocation forms tho, thats why there's an 'all ok' signoff and there's a 5 day turnaround on new requests so I'm not doing that"
TS - "Let me investigate... (puts me on hold for about 10 minutes). Ok, the port does need to be activated on our end, I'll call you when its ready"
Instead about 15 minutes a minion from Tech Support shows up who has clearly only been passed a message that 'A PC at x location isn't working'. He walks up, sees the network cable is unplugged (I had left it neatly coiled on the side of the desk), heaves the biggest sigh I've ever heard, plugs it in, gets my co-worker to login (which works), heaves another massive sigh and then storms off. I can just imagine what he would have ranted about to his friends that evening :)
Aww, here I was hoping for your sake that you'd moved before winter hit this year, I think you were talking about it last year and how sick you were of the cold.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
I would never report one of my technical team members to a manager above me for lack of knowledge.Quote:
Originally Posted by Schezar
I prefer to teach.
Over a decade and a half in the industry I've learned that so much requires a depth and breadth of knowledge that no one person can fully keep up on it all, even if their google-fu is strong.
If it gets bad enough on a performance level that it comes down to ME *and* the rest of the team being in trouble for a lack of departmental performance when I'm in charge and I've already done everything I can to try and teach (and fought for more training budget), I typically let them know privately and personally, outside of work, that there's pressure from up top to cut staff and I'm doing everything I can to fight it, but that now might be the time to start looking, just in case.
When this has happened in the past, I've done everything I can to make sure they get full unemployment benefits. So far, I have a 100% success rate, and I always write truthful recommendation letters (for technical employees who turned out to be non-technical in some areas due to HR not understanding the position requirements when they hired someone, I talk up what they ARE good at.)
Typically people who work under me trust me, so the few times it's happened in the past where they weren't a good fit, they kinda knew anyway on their own.
I don't report anything but outright purposeful wrongdoing or blatant violations of policy.
I don't let it SLIDE, but it doesn't need to go uphill unless there's a pattern or something is malicious or illegal.
It's a situational thing, but every job has basics that you can and should expect every single person in that job to know. If you are a PC repair tech I expect you to know how to image and reinstall applications, what the system specs are and how to upgrade them, what the various connectors are, and how to add a computer to the domain, and how to troubleshoot all of the above. If you cannot do any of the above then you are dead weight that needs to be cut or trained or something. My position is not a trainer for any and all positions within the company, hence why I would contact that person's sup to let them know. They will know far better than me whether that individual can be trained or not, and it serves as a paper trail if future negative interactions take place. For coworkers and teams that support my position I will definitely be able to help train as needed, and am in a position to see who is useful and who is not. But then again Comcast is a whale of a company with hundreds if not thousands of various specialized teams around the country.Quote:
Originally Posted by Merrick ap'Milandra
A lot of that was the influence of my (ex) wife...Quote:
Aww, here I was hoping for your sake that you'd moved before winter hit this year, I think you were talking about it last year and how sick you were of the cold.
Coworker: All my bookmarks in Chrome disappeared
Me: Did you delete them?
Coworker: nooooo!
Me: Are you sure you were in Chrome, and not in Firefox or IE?
Coworker: No, I listened to you, I use only Chrome now, no more IE
Me: (at her desk) You have no bookmarks
Coworker: (looking at me like I'm stupid) Yes, all gone
Me: (Imports from her IE bookmarks which are 98% identical to what she said she lost)
Coworker: (starts deleting some of the bookmarks just imported from IE via the Bookmark bar) These are in the way
Me: You know that deleting them from the bar deletes them completely
Coworker: Nuh uh! Look! (shows me the list of bookmarks in Chrome, and the ones she just deleted are gone...)
You could hear the gears grinding and trying to power the lightbulb
Coworker: Hey I think I screwed something up on this server's backup tape drive. Instead of hitting eject - I hit power off -I turned it back on- but now it says "c" on it's display...
Me:don't you think the "c" is probably short for "Clean Me"?
Coworker: I never thought of that.:wtf:
That, right there, is why I always make sure the manual is RIGHT NEXT to the tape drive, hahaha.Quote:
Originally Posted by Melcar
Sounds like a lovely idea... But why would we read the manual when Melcar can tell us the answer faster?Quote:
That, right there, is why I always make sure the manual is RIGHT NEXT to the tape drive, hahaha.
I walked into the breakroom a full hour late today to take my lunch as I had been stuck on a customer call.
Nice guy, no issues.
No, this is about what happened in the break room.
When I take lunch at 11:30am, I'm the only one in a room that could support 60-80, so I get free reign of the tables and I get to put whatever I want to watch on TV - usually Syfy or BBCAmerica for ST:TNG or Doctor Who.
Since my usual table was taken I took a seat on the high stools at the window ledge looking out over the city, unpacked my lunch, and started towards the microwave bank to heat up my food.
I hear a loud banging and indistinct muttering coming from the guy who's trying to turn on the second TV.
It simply shows "no signal" on screen (which I've seen before, using the TV daily myself.)
I said to him, "Just hit the power button on the remote".
A woman from the office IT group goes over to help him.
They start disconnecting cables, screwing around with TV settings.
Nothing was working.
After my lunch finished heating up, I placed it at my seat and walked over to the remote control, dangling in the air from its "don't steal this" cord attached to the TV.
I popped open the battery cover on the remote, re-seated the loose battery, pushed the "Cable" button, and tapped the "Power" button (not the "ALL ON" button) and walked away.
Fifteen seconds later the signal woke up the TV.
Naturally, neither said thank you.
received via email:
Can you give me a price list and options on Ipads?
SURE! https://www.apple.com/ipad/
You're welcome.
A coworker asked me - hesitantly and very politely - if I'd take a look at his computer.
He's such a nice guy in his 50s I couldn't say no.
Removed malware, thing still hangs randomly. No problem he said. I'll buy a new one, it's old anyway.
He bought a new one last week.
Spent two hours removing malware just now and I'm not done.
Holy fuck some people should stay away from this stuff.
All he did was install skype, he thought. Browser hijacked, popups everywhere, the works.
Got €75 so I can't even be mad at him but damn. The poor guy won't make it another week.
IT Pros: Trade your tech support stories for a Surface Pro 3
Quote:
Share your story between now and February 15, and then, once all the submissions are in, I’ll sit down with a team here at Microsoft to select the top finalists. Once the finalists are chosen, we’ll open it up to an online vote to determine who wins the grand prize.
Also, during every week of this contest there will be a random drawing to give away a Microsoft Band and $50 Starbucks card to someone who submitted an entry.
The grand prize at the end of the contest will be a Surface Pro 3 + keyboard.
So can we just link the thread? :doof: