Lysandor

Tzakapotek Jones was born near the end of the 1960′s, so he missed out on most of the fun. Very little is known of his early life, though some have speculated that he is in fact, a ‘walk in” from another time or dimension.

Jones says he spent part of the 70′s and most of the 80′s studying with the best Guru’s on Americas West Coast where he dabbled in Scientology, spent a weekend locked in a hotel ballroom with Werner Erhard, and slept through “possibly hundreds” of sermons at the Crystal Cathedral in Orange County, CA.

Tzakapotek Jones is the founder of the Church of Entertainment Hedonism; a non-religious cult based on the satirization of dead celebrities (also known as “celebritards”) the number “5″ (or “X”) and water. Jones is the author of several works, including “Keys: An Occult History”, “Thee Apokotheria Esoteria”, numerous songs and poems, and the “Dark Faery: Bumblebee” series of children’s books.

Jones was ordained by the Universal Life Church of Modesto California in 2002, holds a Doctorate in Universal Metaphysics, a Masters Degree in Solar Magick and an Associates Degree in Horticultural Science. He is currently pursuing a Bachelors Degree in Physics and Philosophy, but progress is slow, as he is a complete slack-ass.

Tzakapotek Jones writes and advocates for the “New Discordians for World War 5″, The “John X-Land Died for Your Sins Society” and The Penultimate Group.