Star-Demon

What the fuck. Why are you having to retake intro programming? Did you get below a C in it or something? Did something go wrong with a transfer? This something you can probably deal with by being calm and polite and asking for a WTFsplaination.

This is exactly the sort of thing that a good undergrad advisor can help with: When I transferred, they tried to make me retake intro as well. I brought my portfolio to my advisor and said "Do I really have to do this?"

Originally Posted by Sehra

What the fuck. Why are you having to retake intro programming? Did you get below a C in it or something?

Yes, I really have to do it.

Yes, I got a C-. It's humiliating. I feel like an idiot admitting it. I can't even get past this course despite everything I know and the people that have faith in me that I'm better than them at it. I feel so worthless, I feel humiliated and broken. and if my request is denied I have to give up on getting into the major. I won't have anything left.

I hate myself so much. Why do I know so much but fail? Why can't I just do what everyone else does? I wish I could tear myself apart, but I'm scared of dieing, I'm scared of hurting myself like I used to. I feel so paralyzed and just directionless. It just hurts and it won't stop.

I don't have any valuable skills, I don't have anywhere or anyone to go to, I can't take care of myself or the others that need me to take care of them in exchange, no one trusts me, and if this goes badly, they'll definitely forget about me for having such a wrecked record in life. I don't know what to do anymore. I just don't.

I came to the university wanting to someday get an MS, and now I don't even know if I'll be allowed continue or if I'll ever be good enough to finish.