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Ikeya's Quest To Save The World - The Harrowing, Part 3

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by , January 17th, 2010 at 12:51 AM (18258 Views)

And shit. It's him. The whinest mage in the entire tower. His first question isn't "Are you alright?" or "Are you possessed?" No, no. It's "What's the Harrowing like?" I just struck up a conversation with a blacksmith intent on creating a WMD (Thankfully, I intervened and put a stop to this before he had a chance! Truly, I am a hero!), a mutant bear, a rat-turned-human-turned-rat-turned-human-turned-bear-turned-human-turned-bear-turned-human-turned-demon-turned-black-out. Seriously? Screw the Fade. Screw the Harrowing. Screw the Coventry. Screw the Circle. And screw you, you annoying little whiny jerk. Thanks for calling me a terrible friend, too, for not telling you about that horror-filled fest that was the trial. I'm not telling you jack about the Harrowing and I hope I get to be present when you get possessed and the templar stab you in the back. Hopefully I'll get to be the one to do it too. Oh? And the first enchanter, who just gleefully agreed to send me through that hell and let me get murdered by the templars if I didn't succeed, wants to see me? Undoubtedly he wants to congratulate me on a job well down, welcome me into the Circle as a full fledged magi, and rub my success in the face that geezer templar who would probably break a hip if he ever saw actual combat again.

And no. You just wanted to tell me that you've shipped my blood off to the keep of the Coventry, where they can use it to hunt me down and brutally murder me in some sadistic manner in the event I ever do something that is not in line with The Vision. Oh, and you want me to escort the Grey Warden, whoever and whatever the hell that is, to his guest rooms, because walking in a straight line is evidently too difficult of a concept of these valiant defenders of the realm and vanquishers of darkspawn. Swell. Thanks a lot, really. This was totally worth waking up from my coma. Seriously. Alright, Duncan, let's go. I'm sure this is going to take awhile, with the difficult task of putting one foot in front of another.

Aw hell, it's you again. And some lapdog of the Coventry. Swell. What do you two want? Oh, you're in love. How sweet. Seriously, this was totally worth dragging me away from my chore of teaching Duncan how to walk from one end of the tower to the other. You realize important that is? Yeah, blah blah blah, you're in love. You realize this is forbidden, right? Besides, she's with the Coventry! You know what she's going to do? She's going to murder you at your Harrowing, so congratulations on falling in love with a sociopath. I'm sure you'll make a sweet couple. Oh? You're not taking the Harrowing? She saw documents that said they were going to turn you into one of those Tranquil automatons? Ha! Although, I'm sure even without memories or emotions and being an empty husk of a human, you'll still be annoying. But hey, at least you won't remember you once loved the woman that was going to murder you, right?

Oh, what's that? You want to escape? Oh, sure, I'll gladly help you do that! I helped that valor spirit with making that weapon! I'm a hero, after all! It's my duty to help those in need! Especially my friends! Just let me go collect a few things... like an arrest warrant...


  1. Matthias's Avatar
    ...why the fuck did you make your character a ginger?!
  2. Sehra's Avatar
    I just picture him waking up after the Harrowing and asking Jowan, "Am I _ginger_?"
  3. Ikeya's Avatar
    I rolled with the default character that loaded up on the customization screen! I was going to go ahead and at least change the voice to "violent" but it sounds way too much like Luke Skywalker.
  4. Matthias's Avatar
    Suzaku voices the male elf Violent dub. True story.
  5. Beli's Avatar
    Do both Ikeyas look the same?
  6. Ikeya's Avatar
    They do not. This Ikeya was running with the default settings that came up when I clicked the elf button and the other one looks like his parents were 90% jawbone. Might be why everyone hates him.


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